Dear Mr Ravi, before signing up on a dating app my friend told me something about the 3-6-9 rule. I'm not sure what it means. Can you please help?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
That's great advice from your friend. Basically the 3-6-9 rule is an informal but very popular guideline among daters– it is used to set expectations and pace. Basically it says that the first 3 months is the honeymoon period. You feel the butterflies, everything feels new and romantic, you have all your firsts, and even conflict feels like something that brings you closer. You find out new quirks, perfections and flaws in your partner in these months. It is one of the major compatibility checkpoints. Though people rarely see things clearly in the honeymoon phase, still, there’s a lot to learn.

Then comes the 6-month milestone– you have been together or chatting long enough to know quite a bit about each other; you know what’s compatible and what’s not. By now you will have a fair idea whether things will work out or it’s best to let this one go.

9-months is the real commitment checkpoint– this is where you start thinking about a future. In online dating, you start wondering if this connection is worth investing in. You ask the important questions- are we exclusive? Will this work IRL? What about our goals? By the 9th month, if things are still going strong, daters decide to take things from casual to serious.

While it is not necessary to stick to this timeline, rushing in love is not recommended, especially when it comes to online dating. This method can help set realistic expectations and will constantly push daters to check in with themselves whether they are in it for love or for the lack of love elsewhere.

Hope this helps.