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Stuck in 10-year relationship with betrayal and uncertainty: What should I do?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |589 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 11, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Anjana Question by Anjana on Apr 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I was in a relationship of 10 years.We both are from different states.Doing group a job in own psc.I was waiting to get married with him.There was a problem on him side that his elder brother not married due to no govt job still.And he is preparing.but I m the eldest sister among my 4 siblings,All are Waiting my marriage,after that they will marry . I am 34 still waiting for him.He told me to wait for him since last 10years.Everything was fine. But now I knew that he is physically with another girl.We faught alot .He said sorry alot and he said there was no sex between that girl ,only hug,forehead kiss and lip kiss.But the other girl is saying many times we have done sex.So what should I believe.?he told it will not happened again,but I can't tolerate that how he could be with others.i told this matter to her elder married sister only on his family.We both from hindu family but the new girl is from muslim community.I told my bf to talk with my parents about marriage assurance as he this elder sister told that it's not possible to marriage now before the boy elder brother till not get married after such betrayed.His sister told me to give one chance to her brother.and told again await 2 to 3 year for marriage.so I said talk to my parents for assurance because they are always tensed due to me.my age already crossed the marriage time,and still I m refuse to get married with others.but his family talked with my parents,and directly told to wait for minimum 2years,and told also we don't have problem for marriage if his son will agree,but it was confused statement that for my family and for me also,if after 2 years his son will not agree,then what will happen to me,I already wasted my important time for him(about 10 years),also his family told to our family u should disturb each two years,What's the meaning of this,I couldn't understand this,and also told you both are from different state,after marriage how both will manage?I m not saying to left your job,but you should have to job in Bihar govt.and his family also told that after marriage u both will suffer due to long distance,try to understand reality.etc etc.After all conversation in phone call I tried to convince them in different way.But they put all this thing in the name reality.My parents also said all this problem to me ,but I managed then everything before.And they also think it's about my child happiness,they never discussed the problem once in front their family.We he came to this relationship,he knew everything,so why such statements are coming during assurance to my family.It was not felt like the are assuring,that looked like they are indirectly saying not to get married.I m confused after 10 years of relationship,he betrayed.Whats the chance after 2-3years,he will marry to me ,what will happen if he refused to get marry to me.My life already spoiled due to him.He is now not calling once after that day,it's being 1 month ,three days.What should I do?my age already gone to get finding a good match.A lot of good proposals came before,but I refused.I couldn't understand and tolerance all this thing happened to me.How he became so selfish,never thinking once about my family feelings.My parents also told to their family,we can do hidden court marriage or engagement but they told no it's not possible?What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anjana,
I totally understand your pain and your concern. Whether it went farther than what he claims does not matter; the fact that he was involved, physically or emotionally, with another woman makes it completely wrong on his part- there is no excuse for that. Coming to the waiting part- I would really suggest you reconsider waiting for him any longer. You have waited and in the meantime, he has been cheating on you. Plus, he is still not giving you any assurance. It’s best that you reconsider this relationship. You deserve much better. And even if it takes you some time to find someone else, it would be far better than living your life with a man who could not respect and love you enough to remain loyal or think about your feelings.


Please think about this before you make any decision. Hope this helps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.
Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

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Relationship
Hi mam I loved a man who i thought a good guy for 5 yrs later i came to know he is cheating me only for physical not to marry where he told we wil have future together but i made problem and asked him to marry me but his family and he influenced with his moms decision What shal I do i don't know what to do i thought he is my life now his mom plan him to marry someone else.. What should i do
Ans: Hello Lavanya
It's important to take care of yourself and focus on what you need and deserve in a relationship.

Firstly, give yourself some time to process what has happened. It's okay to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. These emotions are natural when someone you trusted has let you down. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you envisioned.

Talking to a trusted friend or a therapist can be incredibly helpful during this time. They can offer support and a listening ear as you work through your feelings and decide your next steps.

It's crucial to recognize your own worth and what you deserve in a relationship. You deserve someone who respects, loves, and is committed to you wholeheartedly. If this man has shown that he isn't capable of that, then it might be best to let him go, even though it's difficult.

Moving forward, focus on your own well-being and happiness. Engage in activities that make you feel good and help you regain your sense of self. Surround yourself with people who support and care for you.

In time, you'll find clarity and strength. Remember, this experience doesn't define you or your future. You deserve a loving and honest relationship, and by prioritizing yourself now, you'll be in a better position to find it in the future.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

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Relationship
hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 years nd he is 28 we both r in love with eachother and wanna marry eachother but the prblm is that i come from a christian family and he comes from a hindu family my mom is not ready to accept him just because he is a hindu and my family r forcing me to get married to a christian guy itself they r mentally forcing me everyday to leave him just because he is a hindu nd our caste is different my family seperated me from him and forcing me to get married to a guy of their choice and in my family there r 16 members who have had love marriages i took help of my relative who also had a love marriage to convince my parents and help us to get married but she is the one who add more fake rumors and more fuel about him that he is doing timepass even if they talk to him in calls they say that he is not lifting our calls at all i have all the recordings but still they r lying to me nd my mom saying that he is not ready to talk about her it became difficult for me to convince them my mom listen to my relatives as they say and so they do i dont have anyone to support me to get married to my bf plz help i wanna marry him only and i see future with him he is the only one who make me laugh play with me like how a dad plays with his daughter i havent got the love from my parents when im getting the love from him they seperated me from him and forcefully bought me to my native place nd not letting me meet or see him im depressed asking my parents to meet him but they r like no we dont like him my parents r not ready to understand and they r saying he is with u only for ur money he also told my relatives that i dont want money but still they r keeping on adding fuel and mentally harrasing me to get married to someone else they r forcefully trying to get me married to someone else i wanna marry him only what should i do plz help i love him so does he
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Money
Hello I am 51 years old with 14 years old Son and my spouse is not working. I am working with a Pvt Publishing company with salary 90000/ month but job is not stable. In my 28 years working , I couldn't saved much with other liabilities and circumstances . Now my son is in class 8 and I am still in rented house . I am afraid of coming future since I am not able to save anything. My overall monthly income exceeded to 80000 including my son's education, School fees , House Rent and other house hold expenses. Kindly suggest me how to save more and secure my future
Ans: You have shown great responsibility in raising your family on a single income.

At 51 years, your focus now should be financial security and your son's future.

Your son's education and your retirement both need careful planning from here.

Let us understand how to plan your future with limited income but strong commitment.

Your Current Financial Snapshot
You are 51 years old, with a 14-year-old son.

Your spouse is not working, so you are the only earner.

Your job is in the private sector and not stable.

Monthly income is around Rs. 90,000.

Monthly expenses are touching Rs. 80,000.

You are staying in a rented house.

You are unable to save due to high expenses.

Let us address each concern in a simple, practical way.

Step 1: Create a Small Monthly Surplus
Without surplus, saving is not possible.

First identify all your fixed expenses.

Note down your rent, fees, bills, groceries, transport etc.

Then write all variable or non-essential expenses.

These include outings, subscriptions, online shopping etc.

Keep these expenses under control.

Aim to reduce total monthly spending by Rs. 5,000.

If needed, shift to a slightly cheaper rented house.

This is not about sacrifice, it is about safety.

Step 2: Start a Basic Emergency Fund
Your job is not secure.

Emergency fund is your safety cover.

Save 3 to 6 months of household expenses.

This money must be separate and easy to access.

Keep it in a separate savings account or liquid fund.

Don’t touch this for regular spending.

Build this fund slowly over 6 to 12 months.

Even Rs. 3,000 a month is fine to start.

Step 3: Secure Your Family First
Life insurance is very important at this stage.

You must have a pure term plan.

It should cover at least 10 times your annual income.

If you already have expensive LIC or ULIP policies, stop them.

Surrender those plans and reinvest in mutual funds.

Your family must get protection if anything happens to you.

Do not depend on employer insurance alone.

Also take basic health insurance for you and family.

Step 4: Start Small but Regular Investments
Don’t wait for big savings to start investing.

Start SIP with even Rs. 2,000 per month.

Use actively managed mutual funds through a CFP.

Avoid direct funds, they give no guidance.

Regular plans through Certified Financial Planner give support and review.

Don't invest in index funds.

Index funds just follow the market, even when it crashes.

Actively managed funds adjust better in ups and downs.

Step 5: Focus on Retirement Planning
Retirement may come earlier due to job risk.

You must create your own pension system.

Start SIPs in long-term growth mutual funds.

Don’t wait till son's college is over.

You cannot borrow for retirement.

But you can borrow or get scholarships for education.

Secure your retirement with discipline.

Any salary increase should go into SIPs.

Step 6: Prepare for Son’s Education Wisely
Your son is in Class 8 now.

You have 4 years to plan his higher education.

Create a goal for his college needs.

Don't aim for high-expense private colleges if unaffordable.

Explore central universities, state quota, scholarships etc.

Education loan is a better option than using retirement money.

Guide your son on skill-based courses and cost-effective education.

Talk openly with him about money limitations.

Step 7: Review Your House Decision
At this stage, buying a house is not urgent.

Don’t take a big loan for a home now.

Focus should be on savings, not EMI.

Rent is temporary. Savings are permanent.

You may buy a house later when situation is better.

Don’t consider house as investment.

It locks money, gives low return and creates liability.

Step 8: Create an Annual Financial Calendar
Every month, set one small financial task.

Example: January – review expenses.

February – update term insurance.

March – increase SIP amount.

April – track son’s education cost.

May – recheck emergency fund.

Follow this rhythm each year.

This brings control and confidence.

Step 9: Upskill or Create Secondary Income
Try to learn new skills related to your publishing work.

See if you can do freelance editing or writing.

Try to earn small extra income from hobby or skill.

Even Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 extra helps monthly.

Encourage your spouse to try small work from home.

Every extra rupee saved or earned gives strength.

Step 10: Stay Away From Risky Options
Don’t invest in crypto or ponzi schemes.

Avoid chit funds and quick return ideas.

Never buy insurance plans with investment.

Focus only on safe and proven mutual fund SIPs.

Avoid direct funds, they mislead investors with no support.

Stick with regular funds guided by CFP.

You will get personal tracking and adjustment advice.

What You Must Not Do
Don’t feel late or regret the past.

Don’t stop children’s education for savings.

Don’t mix insurance and investments.

Don’t ignore retirement while saving for son.

Don’t depend on children for your old age.

Don’t compare your life with others.

What You Must Do Regularly
Track your monthly spending.

Save before you spend.

Review insurance and investment once a year.

Increase SIP every year.

Protect your health and peace of mind.

Finally
You have taken care of your family all these years.

That itself is a huge achievement.

From now, take one step at a time.

Cut small unnecessary spends.

Start saving even small amounts.

Secure your family with right insurance.

Begin SIPs in regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

Don't fear the future.

Plan it, step by step, from today.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Money
Do Bengaluru Real Estate reduce the cost of a house/apartments in future ? I'm really surprise to see that People are keep on buying/investing on houses even though their earnings are less. What's the miracles behind these situations? Is this due to AI ? is there any regulatory on these real estate communities ?
Ans: Your question is very important and timely.

Let us examine it from different angles in a simple and detailed way.

You asked:

Will Bangalore real estate prices fall in future?

Why are people still buying homes even with low income?

Is Artificial Intelligence (AI) causing this?

Are there any rules to control builders and developers?

Let us evaluate these step by step and provide you with a 360-degree view.

Real Estate Prices in Bangalore – Will They Fall in Future?
Real estate does not move like stocks or mutual funds.

Property price changes are slow and unpredictable.

In Bangalore, price fall is rare but price stagnation happens.

Builders usually hold prices even if demand drops.

They prefer giving discounts or free items, not price cuts.

Bangalore is a tech city. Demand comes from many IT hubs.

Migrants and job seekers keep entering the city.

This creates long-term demand in selected areas.

But oversupply can create flat price growth in some zones.

Far-off areas with fewer buyers may see some drop.

But centre areas or prime suburbs stay stable or go up.

Real estate in Bangalore is influenced by job market and IT sector.

AI may change jobs, but not immediately reduce housing need.

Will Bangalore Prices Go Down Due to AI?
AI may reduce some jobs in the long term.

But new tech also creates new jobs.

People will still migrate to Bangalore for jobs.

Housing demand continues if employment exists.

AI doesn’t directly reduce house prices.

Cost of land and materials remains same or increases.

Builders won’t reduce price due to AI speculation.

So no, AI is not pushing prices down.

AI adoption may reduce certain roles, but housing need stays.

Why Are People Still Buying Houses Even with Low Incomes?
Some people buy from peer pressure.

Others buy due to social or family expectations.

Many believe rent is a waste of money.

Some buyers assume real estate will double in few years.

Some fear future prices may go higher.

Some people get help from parents or inherit money.

Builders also give many offers and small EMIs.

People don’t always calculate full cost of ownership.

Many ignore loan interest, taxes, maintenance, etc.

Some buyers use home loan EMIs to reduce tax outflow.

All these reasons create emotional decisions, not rational ones.

Are These Decisions Wise for Everyone?
Not really.

Without cash flow stability, buying a house creates risk.

Some people stretch beyond safe EMI levels.

They skip protection like insurance or emergency fund.

Job loss, medical emergency, or loan hike can cause problems.

It is risky to buy only for tax benefit.

Without proper planning, house buying leads to debt trap.

Is There Any Regulation on Real Estate Developers?
Yes.

There is a law called RERA – Real Estate Regulation Act.

It aims to protect buyers from builder fraud.

Builders must register projects under RERA.

They must declare timelines, approvals and costs.

Delay in possession can lead to penalty.

But enforcement is still weak in some cases.

Some small builders skip RERA or delay registration.

Buyers must verify RERA number and approvals.

Property papers must be verified by legal expert.

RERA helps, but buyer must still be alert.

What Should You Do Before Buying Any House?
First check your job security.

Next check your income stability.

Keep 3–6 months emergency fund ready.

Ensure no other major loans running.

Home loan EMI must not exceed 35% of income.

Add future expenses also like school or medical cost.

Don’t buy just because others are buying.

Buying without planning causes stress.

Buying House is Emotional – Make It Financially Smart
Everyone wants to own their own home.

It gives security and pride.

But emotional decision must match financial reality.

Your house should not create money problems.

It must not kill your savings or investments.

If you can’t afford now, wait.

Rushing into house buying leads to regret.

Why Real Estate is Not an Investment Option
Real estate has poor liquidity.

You cannot sell it quickly in need.

Cost of holding is very high.

You pay maintenance, tax, loan interest.

There is no regular income unless rented.

Rental income is only 2–3% of cost.

Real estate also has legal and paperwork risks.

Good areas are costly and low margin.

Average or low areas have risk of non-appreciation.

Mutual funds and SIPs are better for wealth building.

What Happens if Job Market Weakens in Bangalore?
Real estate may become unsold or under-occupied.

Builders may reduce new launches.

Resale flats may flood the market.

Rental rates may soften.

But prime areas still stay in demand.

So choose location wisely, not just price.

Steps Before Buying Any Property
Check RERA registration of project.

Ask builder for all documents.

Compare prices in nearby projects.

Don’t believe only advertisements.

Visit actual site during working hours.

Talk to residents if resale property.

Check age of construction and resale history.

If You Still Wish to Buy – Do This
Don’t use all your savings for down payment.

Keep some cash for emergency.

Take property loan only after financial health check.

Consult Certified Financial Planner for proper budgeting.

Plan your insurance, cash flow and future savings.

Don’t Delay Mutual Fund Investing
Many people delay investing due to property buying.

But investment must run in parallel.

Mutual funds grow money faster than property.

SIPs create discipline and wealth.

Avoid direct funds.

Direct funds give no guidance or support.

Regular plans via MFD and CFP are better.

You get long-term hand-holding.

Also, active funds outperform index funds.

Index funds don’t manage downside.

They copy the market, including all losses.

In tough times, actively managed funds adjust better.

You get better return and less stress.

Final Insights
Bangalore real estate is unlikely to crash.

But price appreciation is not guaranteed.

Don’t buy emotionally or blindly follow others.

Every house buyer must check cash flow first.

Don’t compare your decision with neighbours.

Most people stretch loans without future planning.

Artificial Intelligence is not the main reason.

It’s lifestyle pressure and FOMO – fear of missing out.

RERA provides regulation, but buyer must stay cautious.

Never invest fully in property, keep diversification.

Mutual funds with CFP guidance create real wealth.

Property is shelter. It is not an investment.

Take your time. Think in all directions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2025
Money
Have EPF Amount of 14 Lakhs. Is withdrawing a good Idea for clearing of my current loan amount of 18 Lakhs (Land Loan (13.5L) + Vechicle Loan(3.5)) approx. and Zero Cash in Hand and looking for a house to buy. Buying a 2nd Hand House is good or should go for 1st Hand House in Bangalore?
Ans: Let us assess your situation in a complete and structured way.

You have:

EPF of Rs. 14 Lakhs

Loan of Rs. 18 Lakhs (Land Loan Rs. 13.5L + Vehicle Loan Rs. 3.5L)

Zero cash in hand

Planning to buy a house in Bangalore

Let us review this in multiple aspects to give you a 360-degree perspective.

Understanding the Role of EPF
EPF is your retirement backup.

It grows with compounding over long term.

Interest earned is tax-free.

Withdrawals reduce your retirement strength.

Once you withdraw, building back is tough.

You lose long-term compounding power.

Use EPF only when there is a real need.

It is not ideal to treat EPF like an emergency fund.

It gives security when regular income stops.

Analysing Your Current Debt Position
Your total loan is Rs. 18 Lakhs.

Land loan of Rs. 13.5L is not tax-benefit eligible.

Vehicle loan of Rs. 3.5L is high interest and no tax benefit.

Carrying both loans with zero savings is risky.

Loan EMIs strain your monthly cash flow.

Risk increases if job or health issues arise.

Emergency fund is totally missing.

Clearing loan can give mental and financial peace.

Should You Use EPF for Loan Closure?
Withdrawing EPF reduces future security.

But having high debt and no cash is worse.

Compare risk of debt stress vs. EPF withdrawal loss.

If interest rate on loans is high, paying them off helps.

But EPF is not enough to clear Rs. 18 Lakhs fully.

You will still have a Rs. 4 Lakhs gap after withdrawal.

That again pushes you into zero buffer stage.

Instead, partial payment of high-cost loan is better.

What is the Better Loan to Close First?
Vehicle loan is not productive.

It depreciates and has no future value.

Clearing vehicle loan first is a smart step.

Land loan stays as asset, though not income-generating.

Use part of EPF to pay off vehicle loan.

The EMI of vehicle loan can then be saved monthly.

Create emergency buffer from that saving.

Importance of Cash Buffer
Zero cash is dangerous in personal finance.

Even Rs. 50,000 – 1 Lakh emergency fund helps.

It protects you from taking credit card or personal loan.

After using EPF, you again become zero in cash.

So don't use entire EPF to clear full loan.

Use some EPF, some cash flow discipline to reduce EMI burden.

Your Plan to Buy a House – Assessment
You already have land.

Now planning to buy a second-hand or new house.

Let us compare both options carefully.

Buying a Second-Hand House – Things to Know
Lower cost than new homes in same location.

Faster availability for possession.

Less GST or zero GST cost impact.

Old construction may need repair, repainting.

Legal verification is very important.

Check if property papers are clean.

Check for water, drainage, occupancy clearance.

Confirm no pending dues or litigations.

Location may be central or premium in some cases.

Buying a First-Hand House – Things to Consider
High cost due to premium and GST.

Builder reputation matters a lot.

Construction delays are common in new flats.

Possession may take 2–3 years.

Some builders overpromise and underdeliver.

New house means new fittings, less maintenance.

May come with warranty period.

Which is Better? First-Hand or Second-Hand?
If location and documents are clear, second-hand home is better.

You save GST and possession is quick.

Prices are more negotiable with second-hand homes.

Buying from builder has higher tax and premium.

Check age of house. Not more than 10–12 years is better.

Ensure society is well-maintained.

Budgeting Before You Buy the House
You already have Rs. 18 Lakhs loan.

Don't stretch loan again without repaying current one.

Buying house before clearing debt creates risk.

EMI-to-income ratio must be below 40%.

Home loan EMI with current loan EMI becomes too much.

Use current land loan equity before buying house.

Sell or part-mortgage land only if papers are clean.

Property Buying Tips in Bangalore
Check if the area has metro, school, hospital access.

Avoid outskirts if you plan to stay soon.

Compare price per sq.ft. with similar areas.

Visit in day and night to judge locality.

Prefer ready-to-move homes with proper documents.

Emotional vs Financial Decision
Buying house is emotional, but must be rational.

Don't buy house just to ‘own something’.

First make cash flow and debt stable.

Keep at least 3–6 months of expenses in cash.

Only then plan big commitments like home.

Do You Have Health Insurance?
Loans are risky without health protection.

Any health issue can derail finances.

Ensure you and dependents are covered.

Don’t skip term life insurance either.

Mutual Fund Planning – Once Loans are Controlled
After clearing high-cost loan, begin investing.

Start SIPs even if it is Rs. 2,000 per month.

Avoid direct mutual funds.

Direct funds have no support, no goal tracking.

Mistakes in fund selection cost more than savings.

Invest through Certified Financial Planner and MFD.

Regular plans give expert rebalancing.

You get behavioural support in market corrections.

Also get fund changes done as per performance.

Avoid Index Funds in Your Case
Index funds don’t beat market returns.

They carry full downside during fall.

No downside protection or fund manager control.

Actively managed funds adapt better in volatility.

You need good alpha for wealth building.

Protect Your Financial Future
EPF is long-term. Use with caution.

Make a step-by-step roadmap for loan clearing.

Track your monthly surplus and control expenses.

Once you are cash positive, plan house.

Never mix emotional wish with current affordability.

Build wealth gradually, not urgently.

Seek support from Certified Financial Planner always.

Finally
Do not use full EPF for loan.

Use part of it to reduce pressure.

Keep emergency fund aside.

Clear vehicle loan first to reduce risk.

Delay home purchase till loans are under control.

Second-hand home is a good option if papers are clean.

Maintain 360-degree view of finances.

Don’t rush. Stay disciplined.

Keep savings, debt and protection balanced.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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