Why do men ghost after sex? I met this amazing guy on Hinge. He was 27, well-mannered, and worked in a data firm in Mumbai. We spoke daily for three months and had amazing chemistry. From music to food, we discussed everything under the sun. We went on a couple of dates to get to know each other. When we got comfortable, we got intimate and eventually had consensual s** at his friend's house party. One week after we got intimate, he just vanished. No replies, no calls. It was my first time, so I kept wondering if I had done something wrong to upset him. My friend says it could be post-intimacy guilt. But I feel embarrassed, ashamed. I can't shake off the shame. Did I move too fast? Is this how dating works now? How can I go back to feeling normal again?

Ans: You are only 33 and newly married. That gives you solid time to plan smartly for retirement and wealth creation. Below is a detailed 360-degree answer to guide you, written in simple Indian English, keeping your financial goals and commitments in mind.

? Your Current Financial Snapshot

– Your take-home salary is Rs. 92,000 per month.
– You have home loan EMI of Rs. 7,000 monthly.
– One personal loan EMI is Rs. 30,500.
– Another personal loan EMI is Rs. 9,350.
– You have a one-time friend repayment of Rs. 1 lakh.
– You are investing Rs. 500 monthly in NPS.
– You invested Rs. 7,000 in crypto coins recently.
– You are investing Rs. 10,000 monthly in digital gold.
– Retirement planned in April 2055, 30+ years from now.

Let’s review and re-structure your loans, investments, and savings with an expert lens.

? Evaluation of Your Loan Commitments

– Total monthly EMI is nearly Rs. 46,850.
– That takes up over 50% of your income.
– This is on the higher side for your salary.
– Home loan EMI is fine. It is low and for long term.
– But personal loans are reducing your monthly cash flow.
– These loans carry high interest rates.
– Clearing these early will bring huge relief.

– Prioritise repaying the smaller personal loan of Rs. 50,000 first.
– After that, target the 12.3L personal loan.
– Avoid prepayment of home loan for now.
– Home loan gives tax benefit. Personal loans do not.
– Do not take any new loan until existing ones are closed.
– Avoid credit card EMIs or BNPL schemes.

– Once you repay these loans, your savings power will increase.
– Try to increase your EMI by Rs. 2,000-3,000 if possible.
– That will reduce your debt faster.
– Focus all extra income or bonuses toward loan repayments.

? Friend Loan – Honor This Quickly

– Rs. 1 lakh is pending to your friend.
– Clear this first before making any investment.
– Keep personal integrity and trust intact.
– If not possible in one shot, repay in 3 parts over 3 months.
– Avoid delaying this for the sake of digital gold or crypto.

? Assessment of Digital Gold Investment

– You are investing Rs. 10,000 monthly in digital gold.
– That is a high allocation at your age.
– Gold does not create wealth. It only preserves value.
– Over long term, gold returns are less than equity.
– For young investors, equity mutual funds work better.

– Reduce digital gold to Rs. 2,000 per month or pause it.
– Reallocate remaining to mutual fund SIPs.
– Use gold only for diversification or specific goal like jewellery.
– Do not consider gold as a retirement investment tool.

? Assessment of Crypto Investment

– You invested Rs. 7,000 in BTC, ETH, and INJ.
– Crypto is highly risky and volatile.
– It can give high returns or major losses.
– Crypto is not regulated like mutual funds.
– Do not add more money into crypto now.
– Consider it like a lottery ticket, not an investment.
– Keep exposure to crypto under 2-3% of total investments.
– Avoid monthly SIPs into crypto.

? Review of NPS Contribution

– You are contributing Rs. 500 monthly in NPS.
– That is good for tax saving and retirement.
– NPS offers market-linked returns with some tax benefits.
– Increase this to Rs. 1,000-2,000 per month later.
– Don’t depend on NPS as the only retirement tool.
– Use mutual funds also for long-term wealth.

? Savings vs. Expenses – Cash Flow Management

– Income is Rs. 92,000.
– After loan EMIs of Rs. 46,850, balance is Rs. 45,150.
– Digital gold SIP is Rs. 10,000.
– NPS is Rs. 500.
– That leaves Rs. 34,650 for household and other expenses.
– Try to live on Rs. 25,000 for all expenses.
– Keep Rs. 5,000-7,000 aside for emergency or loan repayment.
– Create a budget and stick to it.
– Use apps or notebook to track all monthly expenses.
– Avoid luxury spending, impulse buying or new gadgets.

? Emergency Fund is a Must

– You must build an emergency fund.
– Keep at least Rs. 60,000 to Rs. 1,00,000 ready.
– Keep in a savings account or liquid mutual fund.
– This avoids taking loans during sudden expenses.
– Build it slowly over 6 to 8 months.
– Use bonuses or tax refunds to create this fund.

? Future Focus: Mutual Funds for Long Term Wealth

– Your goal is retirement in 2055.
– That gives over 30 years to invest and grow money.
– Mutual funds are ideal for long-term compounding.
– Choose actively managed diversified equity mutual funds.
– These are run by professional fund managers.
– They outperform index funds over long periods.
– Index funds do not beat market in volatile times.

– Avoid direct mutual fund platforms.
– They save cost, but there is no guidance.
– Wrong fund or wrong timing leads to poor results.
– Invest through Certified Financial Planner and MFD.
– They review and adjust based on your goals.

– Start with Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP in equity mutual funds.
– As loan EMIs end, increase SIP step-by-step.
– Use STP if you have lump sum to invest.
– Do not invest lump sum directly into equity funds.
– Choose growth plans, not dividend plans.

? Tax Planning Strategy

– Use home loan interest for tax deduction.
– NPS also gives extra Rs. 50,000 tax benefit under Sec 80CCD(1B).
– Mutual funds are tax efficient for long-term.
– Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
– Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains taxed as per income slab.

– Fixed deposits are fully taxable every year.
– Avoid them for long-term savings.
– Use debt mutual funds for short-term goals instead.

? Retirement Plan Roadmap

– At age 33, you are in perfect stage to plan retirement.
– Target to build large corpus by 55 or 60 years.
– Use mutual fund SIPs for 20-25 years.
– Review and adjust portfolio every year.
– Shift slowly to safer funds as you near retirement.
– After 55, start SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan).
– It helps withdraw monthly income during retirement.
– Avoid insurance products or annuity plans for retirement.
– Do not lock money for long periods unnecessarily.

? Insurance Coverage

– You have not mentioned term insurance or health cover.
– These are critical for married people.
– Buy term insurance of at least 10 times your income.
– It protects your family in your absence.
– Also, buy a good family health insurance policy.
– Don’t depend only on company group insurance.

– Avoid ULIP or money-back policies.
– These give low returns and poor coverage.
– Keep insurance and investment separate.

? Avoid These Common Financial Mistakes

– Don’t keep adding to digital gold or crypto.
– Don’t ignore loans. Clear them first.
– Don’t stop NPS or delay mutual fund SIPs.
– Don’t use credit cards for lifestyle spending.
– Don’t take new loans unless urgent.
– Don’t invest in index funds. Active funds give better returns.
– Don’t invest directly in mutual funds without guidance.
– Don’t postpone emergency fund or insurance.
– Don’t guess your future needs. Plan and document clearly.

? Finally

– You have made a strong start.
– You are earning well and have many years ahead.
– Focus now on clearing high-cost loans quickly.
– Then increase investments steadily every year.
– Cut down digital gold and avoid new crypto purchases.
– Create emergency fund and buy insurance.
– Start mutual fund SIPs through Certified Financial Planner.
– Review your goals and portfolio every year.
– Stick to your plan. Stay consistent.
– You can build strong wealth and retire peacefully.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: HI M,
Share your query by replying to this response.
Bye for now.

Ans: Anana, With JEE Main CRL 196,496 (SC rank 9947), COMEDK rank 31,332, and participation in JoSAA, MHT CET, COMEDK, and UPTAC counselling, admission chances for CSE at NITs/IIITs via JoSAA are effectively nil (SC CSE closing ranks

Ans: Omesh Sir, Thapar University’s four-year B.E. in Computer Science & Engineering is NBA and NAAC A+ accredited, ABET-USA recognized under the Washington Accord, and hosts 27 state-of-the-art undergraduate and postgraduate laboratories with a dedicated data centre. Its 2023 placement drive saw 334 recruiters making 1,884 offers, placing 83% of undergraduates and nearly 100% of CSE students with an average package of ?11.90 LPA. The curriculum, benchmarked to ACM/IEEE standards, features industry-aligned electives and incubation support, while strong industry tie-ups ensure ongoing research and internship opportunities.

BITS Pilani’s five-year Integrated Dual Degree in M.Sc. Physics operates under the Institute of Eminence framework with UGC and NAAC A++ accreditation, offering advanced fabrication, characterization, and clean-room facilities across Pilani, Goa, and Hyderabad campuses. Practice School internships immerse students in R&D projects; over the past three years, 73.61% of physics graduates secured placement with an average package of ?19.71 LPA. The interdisciplinary curriculum spans quantum mechanics to astrophysics, supported by a robust alumni network and global research collaborations.

Recommendation: Considering sustained high CSE placement rates, strong industry partnerships, and ABET accreditation, the recommendation favors Thapar CSE for a direct software-engineering career trajectory with guaranteed industry readiness; BITS Pilani’s dual-degree M.Sc. Physics suits those targeting advanced research, specialized R&D roles, or academia. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ans: Jitendra Sir, Could you clarify how you determined your son might get ECE (Hyderabad), given that last year’s cutoff was 287 and E&I at Pilani was 282? It’s advisable to freeze the Goa campus seat and consider waiting for an upgrade if such an option is available. Please note (& if I am not wrong), once you select the “Freeze” option during a BITS counselling round, you are removed from further consideration for higher preferences and subsequent iterations—so no upgrades are possible after freezing, similar to the JoSAA process. Please check if BITS follows a different method in the counseling process. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ans: Srini, NIT Meghalaya’s Civil Engineering, ranked 68th in NIRF 2024, boasts modern structural and geotechnical laboratories, research tie-ups, and a 79.6% placement rate in 2023, yielding an average CTC of ?9.7 LPA. BITS Pilani’s Mechanical Engineering, NIRF #20, features pilot-plant facilities, CAD/CAM and prototyping labs, and an 95% placement consistency over the past three years with an average package of ?19.71 LPA. Among Telangana’s top private institutes, VNR VJIET CSE achieves 81%–99% placement rates in CSE, averaging ?8.12 LPA, supported by active coding clubs and 180+ recruiters including Amazon and Microsoft. CBIT Hyderabad’s CSE records a median package of ?7.6 LPA with 70.2% placement in 2024, leveraging strong industry projects and a proactive placement cell. Vasavi College CSE attains ~97% placement for CSE with an average package of ?9.65 LPA and top recruiters such as Google and Adobe, underpinned by a NAAC A++ accreditation and extensive lab infrastructure. Core Computer programmes at JNTU/Osmania University, while offering robust curricula and state-funded research centres, report average packages in the ?5–8 LPA range with ~75–85% placement consistency, benefiting from government-backed internships and campus recruitment drives.

recommendation Prioritize BITS Pilani Mechanical for its premier national ranking, highest average package, and specialized infrastructure; next, choose NIT Meghalaya Civil for balanced placement and research exposure; among CSE options, favor Vasavi for top placement consistency, then VNR VJIET for strong recruiter engagement, and CBIT as a reliable alternative; consider JNTU/Osmania for cost-effective, government-backed core computing education. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ans: (You have not mentioned the current status of your JoSAA Counselling Process. You can try for CSAB Round). With a 94.59 percentile in JEE Main, admission to CSE at top-tier NITs (Trichy, Surathkal, Warangal) is unlikely, as General-category closing percentiles exceed 95 percentile. However, NITs in the next tier—such as NIT Jaipur, NIT Durgapur, and NIT Silchar—have CSE cutoffs in the 93–94 percentile range. Among IIITs, CSAB closing ranks for CSE at IIIT Sri City (~31 000) and IIIT Guwahati (~26 800) correspond to roughly 90–92 percentiles, making them viable options. VIT Vellore’s CSE closing rank of ~8 000 aligns with about a 91 percentile, and VIT Bhopal and Chennai also admit CSE candidates in the 90–92 percentile bracket. Private universities like LPU, SRM etc. typically open CSE seats around the 85–90 percentile mark, offering additional alternatives.

All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ans: ICFAI Foundation for Higher Education (IFHE) Hyderabad's B.Tech programmes hold NAAC A++ accreditation, AICTE approval, and NBA recognition with a 72% placement rate for 2024. The Faculty of Science and Technology achieved a 6.01 LPA average package and 46 LPA highest package, with 74 recruiters including TCS, Cognizant, Amazon, and Cisco. The 92-acre campus features advanced laboratories, digital library with IEEE/EBSCO databases, 180 MBPS Wi-Fi, and specialised facilities for CSE, ECE, and emerging fields. However, engineering placements specifically averaged lower at 4 LPA for B.Tech compared to MBA programmes. While ICFAI Tech ranks 50th among private engineering colleges nationally, it offers solid infrastructure and industry connections but lacks the prestige of premier institutions. Taking a drop year for JEE carries both advantages (focused preparation, 40-45% of IIT admits are droppers) and risks (psychological pressure, no guarantee of improvement, academic delay).

Final recommendation: recommendation is to join ICFAI Tech Hyderabad if you have a confirmed offer, given its decent placement record, strong accreditation, and industry partnerships; taking a drop year carries uncertain outcomes and should only be considered if you're mentally prepared for intensive preparation and have realistic expectations about improvement potential. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ans: ? Your Current Financial Standing

– You are 44 years old. That gives you around 12 to 15 years to retirement.
– You are a homemaker. So, your investment must create financial independence post-retirement.
– You own two properties. One could be self-occupied. The second one may or may not generate rental income.
– You have Rs. 40 lakhs in fixed deposit. That is safe but gives limited growth.
– You also have Rs. 20 lakhs in PPF. That’s a tax-efficient long-term saving tool.
– You have two annual insurance policies.
– You are also investing Rs. 15,000 monthly in SIP.
– You wish to grow your money through mutual funds.
– Your goal is to build a retirement fund for you and your husband.

Let’s look at each component of your portfolio and see how you can improve.

? Assessment of Fixed Deposits

– You have invested Rs. 40 lakhs in fixed deposits.
– FD is a safe choice but gives limited returns.
– Returns often do not beat inflation in the long term.
– For retirement planning, capital growth is needed.
– So, keeping all the money in FD may not be helpful.
– Consider slowly shifting a portion of this FD to mutual funds.
– But this should be done in a phased and planned way.
– You can create an STP (Systematic Transfer Plan) to reduce market risk.
– Start by identifying your liquidity and emergency needs first.
– Keep about 6 to 12 months' expenses in FD for emergencies.
– Rest can be gradually moved to mutual funds for growth.

? Evaluation of PPF Investment

– Rs. 20 lakhs in PPF shows disciplined long-term saving.
– It is a good instrument for risk-free and tax-free returns.
– Interest is compounded annually and exempted from tax.
– Continue contributing to it till maturity.
– Do not break it or withdraw prematurely.
– Use PPF as a stable, conservative part of your retirement fund.
– Avoid treating it as your main wealth-builder.

? Understanding Your Insurance Policies

– You mentioned two annual policies.
– If these are LIC or traditional investment-cum-insurance plans, then review them.
– These plans offer low returns and limited flexibility.
– Check the surrender value and maturity benefits.
– If they are ULIPs or endowment plans, consider surrendering them.
– Use the proceeds to invest in mutual funds.
– Insurance and investment should be kept separate.
– Term insurance gives better coverage at low cost.
– Mutual funds help in growing wealth effectively.
– Do not buy investment products for insurance purposes.

? Review of Current SIPs

– Rs. 15,000 SIP shows good commitment to long-term investment.
– That adds up to Rs. 1.8 lakhs annually.
– Over 10 years, it builds good wealth if done properly.
– Ensure that SIPs are in well-managed, diversified funds.
– They must match your risk profile and time horizon.
– At your age, growth funds are important.
– Choose diversified equity funds that are actively managed.
– Avoid index funds. They do not beat markets in volatile phases.
– Active funds are managed by professionals who adjust as per market.
– This gives better returns over long term.

? Direct Funds vs. Regular Funds through CFP

– If you are investing in direct mutual funds, consider the risks.
– Direct funds look cheaper, but miss out on expert guidance.
– Wrong fund selection can result in lower returns.
– Lack of review leads to long-term damage.
– Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures right strategy.
– CFPs align your portfolio with your goals.
– Regular funds offer tracking, rebalancing, and behavioural support.
– They ensure you stay on track during market ups and downs.
– It is a small cost for long-term peace of mind and better outcomes.

? Recommended Mutual Fund Strategy

– Start a detailed goal-based investment plan.
– Retirement is your primary goal now.
– Also, consider future health expenses and lifestyle needs.
– Allocate funds based on risk and time horizon.

– For long-term growth, equity mutual funds are best.
– These can give 10-12% returns over long-term.
– Choose diversified actively managed equity funds.
– These invest across sectors and company sizes.
– Add a few hybrid funds for stability.
– They invest in both equity and debt.
– This gives a good balance of growth and safety.
– For short-term needs, use ultra short-term debt funds.
– Avoid sector-specific or thematic funds now.
– Avoid NFOs and fancy schemes.
– Do not go for dividend plans. Use growth plans instead.
– Reinvest profits to build wealth faster.

– Start SIPs from your FD proceeds slowly.
– Use STP to shift lump sum to equity in small parts.
– Do not put lump sum into equity directly.
– Build a mix of SIP and STP strategies.

? Important Tax Points

– Mutual funds are tax-efficient compared to FD.
– In FDs, all interest is taxed annually.
– In equity mutual funds, LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG in equity mutual funds is taxed at 20%.
– For debt mutual funds, both short-term and long-term gains are taxed as per slab.
– But overall, mutual funds help you earn better post-tax returns.

? Emergency Fund and Risk Management

– Always keep an emergency fund ready.
– Ideally 6 to 12 months of expenses in FD or liquid funds.
– This gives peace of mind in case of health or family issues.
– Also, ensure you and your husband have health insurance.
– It reduces the need to break investments in medical emergencies.
– Avoid using investments for regular expenses.

? Rebalancing and Regular Review

– Financial plans must be reviewed regularly.
– Markets change. Goals change. Risks change.
– Rebalance your investments once a year.
– Shift money between equity and debt as per your age.
– At 44, equity can be 60-70% of your portfolio.
– Slowly reduce it as you near retirement.
– A Certified Financial Planner can guide this process.
– Review all policies, SIPs, and goals annually.

? Investment Discipline and Behaviour

– Wealth is built with patience and discipline.
– Stick to SIPs even when markets fall.
– Do not react emotionally to market noise.
– Avoid following social media or random advice.
– Long-term investing wins over timing the market.
– Monitor progress yearly, not monthly.
– Stay invested for minimum 10 to 15 years.
– Compound growth works best over time.

? Retirement Planning Considerations

– Define your expected monthly expense after retirement.
– Adjust it for inflation over 15 years.
– Include health, travel, and lifestyle needs.
– Plan to have a regular income flow post-retirement.
– Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) from mutual funds.
– This helps you withdraw monthly from your corpus.
– Do not depend only on rental income or pension.
– Mutual funds can support your cash flow in retirement.
– Keep your capital intact, withdraw from profits.
– Rebalance post-retirement to lower risk funds.

? Common Mistakes to Avoid

– Don’t keep too much money in fixed deposits.
– Don’t rely on LIC or ULIPs for wealth creation.
– Don’t mix insurance with investment.
– Don’t stop SIPs due to short-term loss.
– Don’t chase high return promises.
– Don’t invest in index funds for growth.
– Don’t try to do it all by yourself.
– Get help from a Certified Financial Planner.
– Don’t invest without a written plan.

? Finally

– You are already doing many things right.
– You have saved well and shown financial discipline.
– Now is the time to shift from saving to investing.
– Mutual funds will help you grow your retirement corpus.
– Make a written plan with goals, timelines, and strategies.
– Keep insurance separate from investment.
– Use equity funds for growth, debt for safety.
– Use SIPs and STPs for disciplined investing.
– Work with a CFP for regular reviews.
– Stay consistent and focused.
– You can build a strong retirement portfolio.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment