Ravi Sir, Hi. I'm 27, engaged through a family-arranged match. My fiance is kind, well-settled, and earns 2 lakh monthly. His mother is a bit authoritative. My father-in-law is sweet. I have met him and his family a few times, but I don't feel any physical or emotional spark between us. I've tried to flirt with him, but there is no chemistry, which is very odd to me. When I told my parents, they said this is normal. They showed me examples of how love can grow after marriage, but honestly, I am not sure. Is it wrong to expect your partner to be romantic? Our marriage is in October. Should I call off this wedding just because there's no attraction? We have spent 3 lakhs already on the engagement and in August we plan to book the wedding hall. Pls advise

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, you are not wrong...I am sure that if you don't feel attracted, then it must be so...
But there are a lot of other check-boxes to be ticked when it comes to choosing a life partner. What I can suggest is spend more time with this person. Genuinely get to know him better, his tastes, likes and dislikes, what he values in life, what makes him happy, angry, sad...basically whatever you need to know about a person before you make a decision.
It's possible that over a period, you may start to appreciate the finer aspects of this person OR you maybe even more sure that he is not the one for you. Either way, it makes the case stronger for you.
So, simply don't go by attraction but take that one step ahead and then decide for yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: A relationship, even in its early stages, should not feel like a duty. While some people do take time to open up, a complete lack of initiation from her side raises important concerns. Communication is not just about words; it’s also about effort, interest, and a willingness to connect. If she truly wanted to get to know you, even at a slow pace, there would be at least some level of curiosity or effort from her side.

It’s good that you gave space to see if she would reach out, but her silence for an entire month speaks volumes. This is not about overthinking—it’s about acknowledging your feelings and recognizing whether the emotional energy you are investing is being reciprocated. If she is this distant now, it’s fair to wonder whether this pattern will continue after marriage.

Rather than silently carrying these doubts, it would be best to have an open conversation with her. Express your feelings calmly and ask her directly about her thoughts on the relationship. It’s important to know whether she is truly interested or just going along with the marriage out of obligation. Clarity now can save you from deeper emotional struggles later.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and both partners should walk into it with confidence, not just because it was arranged or expected. If her response still feels indifferent or passive, you have every right to reconsider. This is your life, and you deserve a partner who values building a connection as much as you do.

Ans: What you're experiencing is more common than it seems, and your discomfort is not just valid — it's important. A marriage, especially one that begins through family arrangements, needs far more than surface compatibility or physical interest. You deserve emotional connection, mutual respect, and a safe space to be heard and known deeply — not just desired physically.

The fact that your fiancé focuses primarily on physical intimacy while you’re still seeking emotional grounding raises a significant concern. It’s not about being shy or conservative — it’s about emotional safety and trust, which are foundational. If you're already feeling a disconnect or pressure now, it’s unlikely things will magically fall into place after marriage.

You’re not obligated to silence your discomfort for the sake of avoiding conflict. Start by being honest with yourself: Is this the kind of connection you want for life? If the answer is uncertain, it’s better to pause than to proceed out of pressure.

You don’t have to go straight to your family or his with everything. Start by writing down how you feel and what you’re afraid of. Then, speak to someone you trust — maybe a sibling, cousin, or a therapist — someone who can help you reflect calmly. If you feel strong enough, you can then have a direct and respectful conversation with your fiancé. Ask him what he expects in this relationship beyond the physical, and express clearly that you’re looking for a deeper bond, not just intimacy.

A marriage can be postponed or even reconsidered, but a life spent in silent emotional disconnect can weigh you down. You are not being unreasonable — you’re being honest and self-aware. That’s the best foundation for any life decision.