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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |590 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 08, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Shan Question by Shan on May 06, 2025
Relationship

Hello Gurus, i am M 30 I called a girl in an AM setup. Parents are involved and they talk to each other as well. After 2-3 months of continuous talking to her over phn i am convince their family is good and even she is a very good person. So we decided to meet her in person and also parents are meeting. Even though everything seems to be positive i want to check with you since its my first meeting in person is there any advice or suggestion that can help me navigate myself ? What things are imp to discuss even though we have discuss things over phn like emotional intelligence, kids, where to live etc. Your advice would be helpful for sure.

Ans: Dear Shan,
That’s a really good question. Before going to her place, try to build a mindset of understanding her, without any preconceived notion or pressure to get married. In terms of discussion, to understand emotional compatibility you can observe her behaviour- how she deals with stress, or how she might deal with conflict. Discuss daily life expectations, like what you like to do on weekends, do you enjoy occasional drinking or partying, do you enjoy spending time with friends, family gatherings, disciplined lifestyle, etc. Discuss about each other’s work life balance, expectations from in-laws and any non-negotiables. You should also discuss kids- if they want them, if you want them, and also when. Get clarity on expected living arrangements to avoid any future conflicts. These should be more than enough for a first-time meeting.
Hope these help

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Love Guru

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Dear Love Guru, I’m in my early twenties. I’ve had some nice relationships over the years that had their own timespan. But this girl I am seeing now is something else. We’ve been seeing each other for over a year and it’s the longest I’ve been in a relationship. She’s really special. She is crazy, unconventional, smart. People think she is rude; I think she says it as it is. She’s not a great believer in family relationships. In my family, that is very important. We are not talking marriage or anything like that, we are too young for that. But I want to introduce her to my family. And I want to be introduced to hers. I want each other to part of family events. She’s not in favour of the idea. What do you think? And what if we go ahead and she really brushes my family the wrong way -- ie they misunderstand her? What if her family thinks I am not the right guy? Aarav
Ans:

Dear Aarav,

Your girlfriend may well be a good match for you and I’m happy you’re so taken with her, but I do think there are a few red flags here that you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss.

First off -- whatever must be said to someone can be said nicely. There’s no need to rub people the wrong way with what you have to say.

Telling it like it is may be one thing but if most folks find her rude, then yes, she probably is rude.

It’s not nice to hurt someone’s feelings. You can be smart and unconventional and still polite.

Second, about the family angle. Maybe she doesn’t want to get overfamiliar with your relatives before things are official between the two of you.

You said yourself that you’re too young for marriage, and she probably doesn’t want pressure from all quarters, which can well be the norm in our society.

But why doesn’t she believe in family relationships?

If you’re more a family-oriented person and she’s more a loner who prefers things remaining between the two of you, that is another potential problem in future.

Work this out with her and do it sooner rather than later.

As the sheen wears off new romances, the seemingly smaller issues can take on magnified proportions.

 

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |596 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2024Hindi
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Arrange marriage:Last week I visited the girl's home for the first time with my family. She spoke with me in a friendly manner, but she mentioned twice that it's difficult to understand someone in the first meeting. Three days later, they informed the middleman that they like me, and my father will communicate our decision to them. They will plan to visit my home in two weeks, after which the marriage will be fixed. In the meantime, should I send her a friend request and ask to meet at a coffee shop, or should I wait to talk to her until after the marriage is fixed in two weeks?
Ans: If you feel comfortable and the environment is open enough, sending a friend request could be a way to gently open up a line of communication without overstepping any boundaries. It allows her to accept at her own pace. After the friend request, you could start with light, respectful conversation to get to know her better, keeping it casual and non-intrusive. Asking to meet at a coffee shop is a good idea, but only if she seems comfortable engaging in that kind of interaction before things are officially finalized.

It’s essential to be patient and read the situation carefully. If you sense that she might prefer waiting for the official approval of the families, it might be wise to hold off on asking for a meetup until after the marriage is fixed. This would allow both families to feel more at ease and give you two more space to connect after the formalities.

Ultimately, it’s about balancing respect for tradition with your desire to build a connection. If she has shown openness, and you feel like she might appreciate the gesture, reaching out before the marriage is fixed could help both of you get to know each other in a more comfortable setting. But if you’re unsure, waiting the two weeks won’t hurt either.

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What are the good college for architecture with jee mains paper 2 (architecture) rank 23000 female and Delhi as home state
Ans: With a JEE Main Paper 2 (Architecture) rank of 23,000 as a female candidate from Delhi, you still have a fair shot at getting into some good architecture colleges. Here's a streamlined overview of your options:

Top Choices:
School of Planning and Architecture (SPA), Delhi
As a Delhi resident, you have an edge due to the Delhi quota and female category. Your rank may be within reach for admission here.

Jamia Millia Islamia (JMI), New Delhi
JMI’s Faculty of Architecture and Ekistics is another strong option in Delhi/NCR.

Birla Institute of Technology (BIT), Mesra (Ranchi)
BIT is a solid choice. The female category might boost your chances of getting in with this rank.

National Institutes of Technology (NITs)
While NITs usually have tougher cutoffs, you might have a chance at some like NIT Calicut or NIT Rourkela, especially with the female and Delhi quotas.

Other Options:
Private Universities
Consider private institutions like Lovely Professional University (LPU) or CT University in Punjab, which tend to have more flexible admission criteria.

State-level Colleges
Some Delhi-based colleges might admit students through state-level entrance exams or alternative criteria.

Things to Keep in Mind:
College Cutoffs
Each college has different cutoff ranks—be sure to check them, especially those for female candidates and Delhi residents.

Counseling Process
Your admission will depend on the centralized counseling process, where you’ll list colleges based on your preferences and rank.

Reservation Policies
Delhi may have specific seat reservations for women or local candidates, which can work in your favor.

Final Advice:
Research past cutoffs carefully, especially for your category and location. Prioritize colleges that align with your preferences and where your chances of admission are strongest. Understanding the counseling process will also help you make strategic choices.

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