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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |590 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 08, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Shan Question by Shan on May 06, 2025
Relationship

Hello Gurus, i am M 30 I called a girl in an AM setup. Parents are involved and they talk to each other as well. After 2-3 months of continuous talking to her over phn i am convince their family is good and even she is a very good person. So we decided to meet her in person and also parents are meeting. Even though everything seems to be positive i want to check with you since its my first meeting in person is there any advice or suggestion that can help me navigate myself ? What things are imp to discuss even though we have discuss things over phn like emotional intelligence, kids, where to live etc. Your advice would be helpful for sure.

Ans: Dear Shan,
That’s a really good question. Before going to her place, try to build a mindset of understanding her, without any preconceived notion or pressure to get married. In terms of discussion, to understand emotional compatibility you can observe her behaviour- how she deals with stress, or how she might deal with conflict. Discuss daily life expectations, like what you like to do on weekends, do you enjoy occasional drinking or partying, do you enjoy spending time with friends, family gatherings, disciplined lifestyle, etc. Discuss about each other’s work life balance, expectations from in-laws and any non-negotiables. You should also discuss kids- if they want them, if you want them, and also when. Get clarity on expected living arrangements to avoid any future conflicts. These should be more than enough for a first-time meeting.
Hope these help

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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

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Dear Love Guru, I’m in my early twenties. I’ve had some nice relationships over the years that had their own timespan. But this girl I am seeing now is something else. We’ve been seeing each other for over a year and it’s the longest I’ve been in a relationship. She’s really special. She is crazy, unconventional, smart. People think she is rude; I think she says it as it is. She’s not a great believer in family relationships. In my family, that is very important. We are not talking marriage or anything like that, we are too young for that. But I want to introduce her to my family. And I want to be introduced to hers. I want each other to part of family events. She’s not in favour of the idea. What do you think? And what if we go ahead and she really brushes my family the wrong way -- ie they misunderstand her? What if her family thinks I am not the right guy? Aarav
Ans:

Dear Aarav,

Your girlfriend may well be a good match for you and I’m happy you’re so taken with her, but I do think there are a few red flags here that you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss.

First off -- whatever must be said to someone can be said nicely. There’s no need to rub people the wrong way with what you have to say.

Telling it like it is may be one thing but if most folks find her rude, then yes, she probably is rude.

It’s not nice to hurt someone’s feelings. You can be smart and unconventional and still polite.

Second, about the family angle. Maybe she doesn’t want to get overfamiliar with your relatives before things are official between the two of you.

You said yourself that you’re too young for marriage, and she probably doesn’t want pressure from all quarters, which can well be the norm in our society.

But why doesn’t she believe in family relationships?

If you’re more a family-oriented person and she’s more a loner who prefers things remaining between the two of you, that is another potential problem in future.

Work this out with her and do it sooner rather than later.

As the sheen wears off new romances, the seemingly smaller issues can take on magnified proportions.

 

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2024Hindi
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Arrange marriage:Last week I visited the girl's home for the first time with my family. She spoke with me in a friendly manner, but she mentioned twice that it's difficult to understand someone in the first meeting. Three days later, they informed the middleman that they like me, and my father will communicate our decision to them. They will plan to visit my home in two weeks, after which the marriage will be fixed. In the meantime, should I send her a friend request and ask to meet at a coffee shop, or should I wait to talk to her until after the marriage is fixed in two weeks?
Ans: If you feel comfortable and the environment is open enough, sending a friend request could be a way to gently open up a line of communication without overstepping any boundaries. It allows her to accept at her own pace. After the friend request, you could start with light, respectful conversation to get to know her better, keeping it casual and non-intrusive. Asking to meet at a coffee shop is a good idea, but only if she seems comfortable engaging in that kind of interaction before things are officially finalized.

It’s essential to be patient and read the situation carefully. If you sense that she might prefer waiting for the official approval of the families, it might be wise to hold off on asking for a meetup until after the marriage is fixed. This would allow both families to feel more at ease and give you two more space to connect after the formalities.

Ultimately, it’s about balancing respect for tradition with your desire to build a connection. If she has shown openness, and you feel like she might appreciate the gesture, reaching out before the marriage is fixed could help both of you get to know each other in a more comfortable setting. But if you’re unsure, waiting the two weeks won’t hurt either.

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |790 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 22, 2025

Career
My son got 95.299 percetile in jee mains. Didnt appear for advanced as he is preparing fot bits. He got CS business system in Thapar. Whats the best option through csab counselling. Whats the order of preference
Ans: With a JEE Main percentile of 95.2, your son is eligible for admission to several NITs and IIITs through CSAB counselling. His best options would be to prioritize NITs with strong computer science programs, followed by IIITs, and finally, GFTIs. A strong choice would be NITs like NIT Calicut, IIIT Allahabad, or VNIT Nagpur, followed by IIITs with CSE programs like IIITM Gwalior or IIIT Delhi.
Order of Preference for CSAB Counseling:
1. NITs with strong CSE programs:
Consider NIT Calicut, NIT Kurukshetra, SVNIT Surat, and VNIT Nagpur, as these are known for their good placements and infrastructure.
2. IIITs with CSE programs:
IIITs offer specialized computer science programs and are a good option if you're aiming for a career in software development or AI. Consider IIIT Allahabad, IIITM Gwalior, IIIT Delhi.
3. GFTIs (Government Funded Technical Institutes):
These are generally less prestigious than NITs and IIITs, but can still offer a good education. Consider COEP Pune or other GFTIs that have good placement records.
4. Thapar CS Business Systems:
While Thapar is a good institution, it's important to consider whether your son's interests align more with a traditional CS program or a more business-oriented one. He could also consider upgrading to a better CS program through CSAB if possible.
Important Considerations for CSAB Counseling:
Preferences:
Carefully consider your son's interests and career goals when filling out his preferences. Don't just focus on the top-ranked colleges; also consider the specific programs and their faculty.
Cut-offs:
Check the previous year's cut-offs for each college and program to understand the level of competition.
Placements:
Research the placement records of each college and program to see how well graduates are getting jobs.
Infrastructure and Facilities:
Consider the quality of labs, libraries, and other facilities that are available at each college.
Location:
Think about the location of the college and whether it's suitable for your son's needs.
By carefully considering these factors and prioritizing the right choices, your son can maximize his chances of securing a seat in a good engineering program through CSAB counselling.

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