Sir, I am 24, I have recently started using dating apps, and I'm already bored. Most guys just want casual chatting or they disappear after talking for a few days. First they say I really like you, then they ignore me. I get my hopes up and end up feeling used. My parents have started looking for rishtas and say I'm wasting time. I want a real relationship, but I don't want to rush into arranged marriage either. Am I being unrealistic?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There's nothing wrong with your approach but I want to share a piece of advice that might help you in your dating journey. Instead of approaching relationships with the sole intention of finding a life partner, consider dating for the sake of love and happiness. Not every person you meet will be your soulmate, and that's perfectly okay. Sometimes, we need to experience a few heartbreaks and failed relationships before finding the right one. I appreciate that you have started focusing on yourself, but that does not mean you have to stop looking for a companion. Both are not mutually exclusive. And it's sad but some men indeed lose their interest in a woman as soon as the "chase" is over. But the good news is, it is only some men, not all.

I say stop looking for a man to settle down with because that might lead to compromises to make the relationship work. Instead, find a man who makes you happy. Enjoy the process of dating and evaluate the individual based on genuine compatibility and shared happiness.

Best Wishes!

Ans: you may wish to google and check out andwemet's single community for 30s & beyond - wishing you the best

Ans: 1) Firstly 33 years is young and so is 43 :) you are as young as you feel (share this with mom :))
2) You cannot take a poor past experience as you enter into a new one - you faced trust issues - noted, they are not fun - but heal from it as you move ahead.
3) You will have to meet many, many - several via apps, friends, parents to find your person. If you do self reflection, healed from past , have must-have (not more than 3) and on it - you will find your person within 6 months - I have written on tips for doing so.

all the best.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's obvious to me that you haven't yet sat yourself down and asked:
- What do I want in my life partner?
- What do I want from a marriage?

You have shared about what others want from you; what do you want from a potential association?
Being clear will help you stop this chase and anyway, there's no 'The One'...if you find one, do let me know and I will be happy for you...Marriage is not about finding the right person but by knowing what you want from a marriage. This narrows down your choices to someone that close to your thoughts and value systems and then you both have to make the marriage work.

Now, if you are not looking for a committed association or a long-term one, then you will have to keep playing games with people who are half serious or just looking for some fun and hey, the chances of you being emotionally hurt will be greater here...
So, be clear on what you want and then you will know the next step, the next conversation that you wish to have with a person with more certainty that increases your chances at a good sturdy relationship.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/