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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |602 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2025
Relationship

Sir, I am 24, I have recently started using dating apps, and I'm already bored. Most guys just want casual chatting or they disappear after talking for a few days. First they say I really like you, then they ignore me. I get my hopes up and end up feeling used. My parents have started looking for rishtas and say I'm wasting time. I want a real relationship, but I don't want to rush into arranged marriage either. Am I being unrealistic?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your frustration. Finding love on dating apps, just like dating IRL, can sometimes take a little longer. Everyone finds their perfect match in their own time. I understand it must be frustrating, but stick on with it. For the time being, have fun interacting with new people. Do not set an intention that you are there just to find true love. It will reduce your experience to a routine. Dating should be fun. And love cannot be rushed. I am sure you will find someone who truly likes you in no time. And no, you are not being unrealistic. Loads of people have found their life partners on dating apps.
Best wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, How are you? Hope you are doing well. So my situation is: I'm 23 years old. Due to my extremely toxic past experiences in relationships, I chose to be single to bring a balance in my life. I have been single for almost a year now. But last month I was on a sabbatical. I had travelling plans but I had to cancel everything due to the rise in the covid19 pandemic. I joined a dating app (I swore that I would never use a dating app. But then this year I wanted to do something that I would never consider doing. So I decided to join a dating app just to see what goes in there). I wasn't looking for any relationship or anything like that. I was mostly fine with my single life (except the physical intimacy part of course). Then I got matches with guys. But I had no interest in any of them. I chatted with a couple of them but got bored within minutes. I matched with a guy and started talking to him. He seemed nice from the start. I could connect with him very easily. We were on an equal intellectual level. But that was just day 1. From day2, he was not really into the conversation. He was only answering my questions, not really asking anything. But while talking, he clearly told me that he wasn't into relationships or dating currently as he broke up 1 year ago and needed time to clear his mind space. I didn't really care about all this stuff since I wasn't looking for anything at all. But his prosaic interview type answers were very irritating and I had to get back to my work too. So I deleted my profile without apprising him anything and by that time we already connected on IG. But after that conversation, he was kind of all over my mind. It was really difficult for me to focus on my work for the next 2-3 days. So I thought if I text with him for 2-3 days, I would be fine probably. But when I texted him on IG, he wasn't surprised that I’d deleted my profile on that dating app without even telling him anything. Moreover, he was texting in a very formal manner. After a while, he stopped replying. I didn't text after that. I was done with him.Since that day, my mind has been craving for his attention. I know that he isn't the guy I should spend my time with no matter how good I found him initially. But my focus and concentration is really getting affected by his thoughts. On VDay I thought maybe he was going to ask me out(because last month he made it conspicuous that he was going to meet me on V -day). But he is a ghost now. Please tell me how do I erase his thoughts from my mind totally so that I can focus on my work as I have piles of work to get done.
Ans:

Dear SD,

Ghosting of a high order.

Why exactly were you anticipating him to give you all the attention?

Why were you craving for validation from someone who you haven’t chatted or met with?

Why did you base so many emotions on a ‘connection’ that wasn’t one in the first place?

Dating apps are an ocean of people who have different needs to be met and distractions are heavy.

Every moment, the mind is seeking an association with a new person in the hope that he or she will be better than the previous one.

How did you expect him to feel the same way as you did at that very moment? Maybe it’s time to introspect what you learned during your sabbatical.

Did you pour enough self-love so that you wouldn’t wait for someone else to love you? If No, then time to step back and validate yourself for ONCE.

You must learn to look at yourself with a fresh pair of eyes, laud yourself and love yourself even more.

Fill yourself with so much care are love that the next time, you are on an APP, it’s for a very good reason and with a lot of confidence that you can hold your space and not get swayed by who is messaging or who isn’t!

Life offers you with so many opportunities to change from within; start right away and as far as this “Ghost Guy”, even if he is back, he will scout around for more greener pastures as far as an unsteady mind goes.

So you possibly might just be one of them. Investing so much time in all of this is straining.

Join groups that meet often and on a common theme and maybe you might find someone interesting and someone who has similar values and ideals as you.

Good luck to a new way of thinking and acting!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |602 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 02, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi,i am a 28 year old woman being at crossroads when it comes to relationships. I am one of the unluckiest souls in this universe.An old school romantic being following the philosophy of one man woman.My love life consists of numerous one sided loves,crushes,2 three year old failed long distance relationships and terminating one potential long term romance(this was also long distance)See,I would want to be in a loving and long term relationship resulting in marriage.I guess i have always dated to marry. But unfortunately, my search for that one true love is still not coming to an end. I don’t know where am i going wrong? Am i asking for too much? Because the moment i said yes or responded to their advances ,they would become way too busy and i become an option. Before i say yes,they would always court me. I have to initiate the conversations every single time. As i result i stopped looking for love and start working on myself. I don't mind being single forever and skip marriage.I know there's something wrong in my apporach. Just tell me where am i going wrong?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There's nothing wrong with your approach but I want to share a piece of advice that might help you in your dating journey. Instead of approaching relationships with the sole intention of finding a life partner, consider dating for the sake of love and happiness. Not every person you meet will be your soulmate, and that's perfectly okay. Sometimes, we need to experience a few heartbreaks and failed relationships before finding the right one. I appreciate that you have started focusing on yourself, but that does not mean you have to stop looking for a companion. Both are not mutually exclusive. And it's sad but some men indeed lose their interest in a woman as soon as the "chase" is over. But the good news is, it is only some men, not all.

I say stop looking for a man to settle down with because that might lead to compromises to make the relationship work. Instead, find a man who makes you happy. Enjoy the process of dating and evaluate the individual based on genuine compatibility and shared happiness.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

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