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Help! I Called My Partner By My Ex's Name - Twice!

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |708 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I accidentally called my current partner by my ex's name while having a private moment. The second time I yelled when we were watching a movie starring my ex's favourite actor. Things have got a bit weird since then. I don't know how to talk about this to my partner.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether it was a genuine mistake or there are lingering issues that led to this slip-up, it is natural for your current partner to feel uncomfortable and even sad hearing you repeatedly calling out for your ex. I hope this much you acknowledge. Now moving on to how we can fix this- first of all, apologize; mistake or not, you can still say you are sorry. Next, have a clear discussion with your partner- ask her how it made her feel and what can you do to make it better. This way she can see that you are owing up and taking initiatives. Then, I want you to reflect- why is this happening? Did you get into this relationship before you could fully move on? Or have you been thinking about your ex? If so, why and is that fair to your present partner? I hope if you are honest with your answers, by the end of it you will have some clarity.

Hope this helps

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Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 27, 2023

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How can i improve my communication with my partner
Ans: Dear Prakriti,

The first step to improving your relationship is putting in the effort, and I am glad to see you are doing so. A healthy relationship runs on proper communication and there are many ways to do it. For starters, while discussing something important with your partner, set aside all things that can take away your concentration from it; for instance, keep your phone at a distance, turn off the TV, etc.

Here are some more ideas:

• During a conflict (conflict is also communication) think before you speak. Don't randomly assign blames because that won't get the discussion anywhere productive, but rather heat it up further.
• Be clear about what you want to talk about; beating around the bush will lead to more confusion. If you want to convey something, be accurate and straightforward about it; it helps leave nothing to assumptions.
• I statements are better than you statements. For instance, "I feel sad when you speak to me in this tone" sounds much better and calmer than, "You always make me feel sad with your tone." It successfully steers the conversation from turning into a blame game.
• Say sorry and thank you when it's due.

Another important part of communication is paying attention and listening intently to what your partner has to say. We often speak our piece and barely lend an ear when it's the other person's turn. Make sure to hear them out for better communication. And don't just talk about negative feelings; communicate the positive ones too.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 20, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 52-Year-old man, relatively happily married with a son & daughter. I was having a relatively smooth life till a few days back when a sudden incident happened in my Life. Like a lot of people, I also have a past where in in the Prime Of my youth I had a very passionate love affair which resulted in a brief marriage some 25 Years back with someone whom I had grown up with. But due to certain differences with her Family it resulted in a very bad break up with a brief tussle in the court. The Incident had shaken me a great deal & with time I managed to shrug it off & move Forward. I had done relatively well in my life till now when suddenly I was taken aback when me ex called me up. We had a brief Interaction over phone & this is now persisting. Although the affair was long gone but somehow It was there in the back of my mind, I had an inclination someday she Might come back which has exactly happened. I am feeling guilty to my Spouse as she has stood with me thick & Thin but However, I tried hard I end up speaking with my ex every day. As far as I can gather is my ex is not happy with her Husband although she has exactly not spoken about her intention of such sudden turnaround. I am aghast at myself that I could Not put an end to the conversation & in fact I feel very happy speaking to her remembering my old days. Leaving my ex unilaterally is not an option as I have tried Many times but failed. please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you fine choosing to ruffle things in your marriage?
Because that's exactly what you might be leading into!

Love stories from the past belong there unless your current situation allows you freedom to invite it back. It surely has caused ripples in your heart which has possibly stirred you of the usual routine married life.

Will your spouse accept the situation as is?
How will you handle the complications that might arise?
What are the expectations of you from the lady from the past?
How will this impact the children?

For some reason, things had not worked in the past...it ended in a divorce. Maybe there's a lot of unspoken things. Then talk about it with her.
Remind yourself and her that you are in r=current relationships. Even if she does not share a great relationship with her husband, you are not obliged it responsible to be her knight in shining armour. You have a life and so does she...you owe a lot to the current relationships and the people in it.
Anything beyond this is a CHOICE that you will make and a lot of people will be hurt by it. Draw boundaries before you get drawn into it further!

If you really want to be in touch with her, ask yourself: Am I mature enough to handle a connection that has boundaries? Can we maintain a connection that is more based on friendship and support?

Only you know the answers to all the questions above and you will draw conclusions based on that. from what I know of people, no one likes ruffling feathers and no one wants a complications unless they specifically CHOOSE it!

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend since 1.5 years. Before meeting him I had a relationship of around1.3 years(he cheated on me) and my mother got to know about it when she saw me crying and i end up telling her about my relationship(now ex). So I just need advice, should I tell my current boyfriend that my mother know about my ex? Now My mother somehow almost got to know about my current relationship also and i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.? Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How will it matter if your boyfriend knows about your mother being in the know about your past relationship?
Why will he be bothered by it? I just don't understand why this is an issue of you or anyone?

Your words:
i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.
My thoughts:
What will this do if you tell him that she knows about your past?

Your words:
Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
My thoughts:
Maybe you should tell him about your past and not worry that he should know that your mother knows about your past

I still feel what you actually want to ask me is not very clear to you; be honest with yourself so that when you ask your question you will be able to get better guidance from me...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11060 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 11, 2026

Money
Hi Sir, This is my second question after one and half years. I am running 37 years old. My inhand salary after all deductions is 77k. I have loan emi 32k which is going to end in feb 2027. I don't have any savings and mutual fund. How do i start financial planning and investment? I have my wife,6 years old son and 4 years old daughter. No other dependents. I would like to plan investment for house building after 7 years( my own plot around 1500 sq ft). Kindly advise.
Ans: You are asking this question at the right time. At 37, you still have many earning years ahead. Taking responsibility for your wife and two young children while planning for a future house shows strong commitment towards your family.

Even though you have no savings today, your situation can improve with a structured approach.

» Understanding Your Present Financial Position

Your monthly income and commitments are:

– Monthly income: Rs 77k
– Loan EMI: Rs 32k (till Feb 2027)
– Family of four with two young children

Currently your loan EMI is consuming a large portion of income. So the first phase of planning should focus on stability and protection.

» Build Emergency Fund First

Before investing, you must create an emergency fund.

This fund protects your family if:

– Job loss happens
– Medical emergency occurs
– Unexpected expenses arise

Try to accumulate at least 6 months of expenses.

Start small.

– Save around Rs 5k to Rs 8k monthly
– Keep this in a liquid fund or safe savings instrument

Do not use this money for any other purpose.

» Protect Your Family with Insurance

Since you are the only earning member, protection is critical.

You should have:

– Pure term insurance of at least Rs 1 crore
– Family health insurance cover for wife and children

Without these protections, one unexpected event can destroy financial plans.

Insurance is the foundation of financial planning.

» Begin Investment Through SIP

Once the emergency fund starts building, begin systematic investment.

Mutual funds are suitable for long-term goals like children education and house construction.

Prefer actively managed diversified equity funds.

Benefits of actively managed funds:

– Professional fund managers select quality companies
– Portfolio changes based on market conditions
– Aim to generate returns higher than market average

Start with small SIP.

Even Rs 5k to Rs 10k per month is a good beginning.

Over time you can increase it.

» House Construction Goal After 7 Years

You already own the plot. That is a big advantage.

Construction cost after 7 years may be substantial.

So your strategy should be:

– Continue SIP in equity funds for growth
– Increase investment once EMI ends in Feb 2027

When your EMI of Rs 32k stops, that amount becomes your biggest opportunity.

If you redirect that EMI into investments:

– Wealth can grow much faster
– House construction fund can accumulate steadily

» Planning for Children Education

Your children are 6 and 4 years old.

Higher education will come after 10 to 15 years.

This long time horizon is perfect for equity mutual funds.

Start small SIPs now in diversified funds and gradually increase contributions every year.

The power of compounding will work strongly over this time.

» Keep Investments Simple

Avoid spreading money across too many instruments.

A simple structure works best:

– Emergency fund for safety
– Equity mutual funds for long-term goals
– Limited exposure to other assets

Simplicity helps you stay disciplined.

» Tax Awareness

When you redeem equity mutual funds:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Holding investments for longer periods reduces tax burden.

» Finally

Your financial journey should start step by step.

Focus on these priorities:

– Build emergency fund first
– Take term insurance and health insurance
– Start small SIP in actively managed equity funds
– After Feb 2027, redirect EMI amount into investments
– Gradually build corpus for house construction and children education

Consistency is more important than starting with big amounts.

If you remain disciplined, your financial situation can change significantly in the next 7 to 10 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Mar 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2026Hindi
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11060 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 11, 2026

Money
I am 36 years old and now I am getting in hand 60k staying at Bangalore .I have 18.5 lakhs in my bank account. Room rent 10k household expenses 12 k invested 10k in sip. Please guide me how to and where to invest this amount..layoff also going on in my it company. Please suggest for my safe future . I have a 3 year boy his health also not good .
Ans: Your situation shows responsibility and awareness. At age 36, earning Rs.60,000 per month, maintaining savings of Rs.18.5 lakhs, and already investing through SIP shows good financial discipline. Also, your concern about job stability and your child’s health shows that you are thinking about your family’s long-term security. With a few structured steps, you can strengthen your financial safety and future stability.

» Your Current Financial Position

– Monthly in-hand income: around Rs.60,000
– Rent: Rs.10,000
– Household expenses: Rs.12,000
– SIP investment: Rs.10,000
– Savings in bank: Rs.18.5 lakhs

This means you are living within your income and also saving regularly. That is a very positive starting point.

However, because there are layoffs in the IT sector and you also have family responsibilities, the focus should be on safety, stability, and long-term growth.

» Build a Strong Emergency Fund First

Job uncertainty and your child’s health condition make an emergency reserve very important.

– Keep around 9 to 12 months of expenses as emergency fund
– Your monthly expenses are roughly Rs.22,000 to Rs.25,000
– So maintaining around Rs.3 to 4 lakhs as emergency reserve is sensible

This money should stay in safe and liquid options so that you can access it immediately during job loss or medical needs.

Do not invest this emergency money in risky assets.

» Health Protection for Your Family

Since your child already has health concerns, health insurance becomes very important.

– Take a good family health insurance plan that covers you, your spouse, and your child
– Choose a policy with adequate coverage because medical costs in cities like Bangalore are high
– If your company provides health insurance, do not depend only on that because it stops when you leave the job

Medical protection protects your savings from getting wiped out.

» Use Your Rs.18.5 Lakhs Carefully

You do not need to invest the full amount immediately.

A balanced approach works better.

– Keep around Rs.3 to 4 lakhs as emergency fund
– Keep some amount in safe instruments for short-term needs
– Gradually deploy the remaining money into diversified mutual funds through a systematic transfer approach

This helps you avoid investing a large amount at the wrong market timing.

» Continue and Slowly Increase SIP Investments

You are already investing Rs.10,000 per month in SIP. That is a very good habit.

Over time, you can improve it.

– Increase SIP whenever salary increases
– Focus on diversified equity mutual funds for long-term wealth creation
– Keep your investment horizon at least 10 to 15 years

Equity mutual funds help beat inflation and build long-term wealth for goals like your child’s education.

Actively managed funds are helpful because professional fund managers analyse companies, manage risks, and adjust portfolios based on market conditions. This active management helps investors during uncertain markets.

» Create Separate Goals for Your Child

Your child is only 3 years old. This gives you a long time horizon.

You can create separate investments for:

– Child education
– Child health security
– Long-term family wealth

Starting early helps you accumulate wealth gradually without putting pressure on your monthly budget.

» Improve Career Security

Financial planning is not only about investments. Income stability is equally important.

– Upgrade your skills within the IT industry
– Maintain a secondary emergency skill or certification
– Build professional connections in your industry

This increases your chances of faster recovery even if layoffs happen.

» Avoid Risky Decisions Now

Because your income is moderate and job stability is uncertain, avoid:

– High-risk stock trading
– Investing entire savings in one asset class
– Sudden large investments without planning
– Borrowing money to invest

Your focus should be stability and disciplined growth.

» Work With a Structured Financial Plan

A proper financial plan helps align:

– emergency planning
– insurance protection
– goal-based investments
– tax planning
– retirement planning

A Certified Financial Planner can help structure these elements together so that every rupee you save works toward your long-term financial security.

» Finally

You are already on the right track. Many people at age 36 do not have Rs.18.5 lakhs in savings or a disciplined SIP habit. Your awareness about risk, family needs, and future planning is a strong foundation.

With a balanced approach of emergency protection, proper insurance, disciplined mutual fund investing, and career stability, you can build a safe and strong financial future for your family and your child.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

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