Help! I Called My Partner By My Ex's Name - Twice!

Ans: Have you asked yourself - why are you scared? What are you scared of?

If you feel he can leave you if you discuss it, then it's not worth to be in their relationship anyway.

A healthy relationships inspires open communication and non judgemental attitude.

Ans: Dear Prakriti,

The first step to improving your relationship is putting in the effort, and I am glad to see you are doing so. A healthy relationship runs on proper communication and there are many ways to do it. For starters, while discussing something important with your partner, set aside all things that can take away your concentration from it; for instance, keep your phone at a distance, turn off the TV, etc.

Here are some more ideas:

• During a conflict (conflict is also communication) think before you speak. Don't randomly assign blames because that won't get the discussion anywhere productive, but rather heat it up further.
• Be clear about what you want to talk about; beating around the bush will lead to more confusion. If you want to convey something, be accurate and straightforward about it; it helps leave nothing to assumptions.
• I statements are better than you statements. For instance, "I feel sad when you speak to me in this tone" sounds much better and calmer than, "You always make me feel sad with your tone." It successfully steers the conversation from turning into a blame game.
• Say sorry and thank you when it's due.

Another important part of communication is paying attention and listening intently to what your partner has to say. We often speak our piece and barely lend an ear when it's the other person's turn. Make sure to hear them out for better communication. And don't just talk about negative feelings; communicate the positive ones too.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
In my opinion, the more you pull things from the past, the more the mind plays games on you.
You start to question why you are with the partner and what more he/she is hiding from you.
Trust plays a very important role in any relationship and if the two of you are together, it's for a reason best known to both of you. Why spoil it with digging things from the past?
And if you have come across something disturbing from the past, ask your partner. Don't confront, but ask...

Also take into consideration if your partner has acted in a manner that is destroying the relationship, then the past can be taken into account...but if he/she has given their 100% to this relationship, let go of the past whatever that may be...A few demons are better buried where they must be. Let be and Let go...What you share now together is important; cherish and grow that.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you fine choosing to ruffle things in your marriage?
Because that's exactly what you might be leading into!

Love stories from the past belong there unless your current situation allows you freedom to invite it back. It surely has caused ripples in your heart which has possibly stirred you of the usual routine married life.

Will your spouse accept the situation as is?
How will you handle the complications that might arise?
What are the expectations of you from the lady from the past?
How will this impact the children?

For some reason, things had not worked in the past...it ended in a divorce. Maybe there's a lot of unspoken things. Then talk about it with her.
Remind yourself and her that you are in r=current relationships. Even if she does not share a great relationship with her husband, you are not obliged it responsible to be her knight in shining armour. You have a life and so does she...you owe a lot to the current relationships and the people in it.
Anything beyond this is a CHOICE that you will make and a lot of people will be hurt by it. Draw boundaries before you get drawn into it further!

If you really want to be in touch with her, ask yourself: Am I mature enough to handle a connection that has boundaries? Can we maintain a connection that is more based on friendship and support?

Only you know the answers to all the questions above and you will draw conclusions based on that. from what I know of people, no one likes ruffling feathers and no one wants a complications unless they specifically CHOOSE it!

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How will it matter if your boyfriend knows about your mother being in the know about your past relationship?
Why will he be bothered by it? I just don't understand why this is an issue of you or anyone?

Your words:
i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.
My thoughts:
What will this do if you tell him that she knows about your past?

Your words:
Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
My thoughts:
Maybe you should tell him about your past and not worry that he should know that your mother knows about your past

I still feel what you actually want to ask me is not very clear to you; be honest with yourself so that when you ask your question you will be able to get better guidance from me...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/