I am single mother of 12 year old boy and got divorced last year after 7 years of living seperate from my ex husband, I got married in 2010 through matrimonial site and had very toxic and abusive relationship, so I came to my maternal home in 2016 completely. There were many occasions when he approached me and promised to behave properly but failed to do so . He only filed for divorce by making false accusations of being characterless. I gave him divorce and in return I got very less alimony or the amount which was given in cash to them in my marriage. Now I came to know that he remarried and living his life . He is still in contact with my son and sometimes he blame me and my parents for this divorce. My first question is that is he trying to manipulate my son ( he is not bearing any education expenses of my son) And when I ask my son if I can also move on in my life, he refuses and says I don't want to share you with anyone. So I am very confused.

Ans: Dear Savendra

Navigating through frequent arguments and tension at home can be incredibly challenging, especially when they leave you feeling emotionally drained and upset. It's understandable that you're seeking guidance on how to handle this situation. Given your wife's past brain problem, it's essential to approach these conflicts with patience, empathy, and understanding. Firstly, try to remain as calm as possible during arguments, even when emotions run high. Active listening and validating her feelings can help create a more constructive dialogue. Setting boundaries around communication and behavior is crucial, ensuring that discussions remain respectful and productive. Seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, can provide valuable support in addressing underlying issues and improving communication skills. Additionally, taking care of yourself through self-care activities and seeking support from friends and family members can help you navigate through these challenging times. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your well-being and seek assistance when needed to foster a healthier and more harmonious household for yourself and your family.

Ans: Sudesh,

It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, but it's commendable that you're seeking ways to improve your relationship with your wife. Schedule regular times to talk openly and honestly with your wife about your feelings, concerns, and desires for the relationship. Encourage her to express herself as well. Active listening is crucial here.Try to see things from your wife's perspective and understand her concerns about your son's behavior. Validate her feelings and reassure her that you're there to support her.
Make an effort to spend quality time together as a couple. Plan activities that you both enjoy and that allow you to connect on a deeper level. This could be anything from going for walks, having dinner dates, or pursuing mutual hobbies.
Work together with your wife to address any concerns about your son's behavior. Approach him with empathy and understanding, and try to create an open and supportive environment where he feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and concerns. Consider couples therapy or counseling to work through any underlying issues in your relationship. A therapist can provide guidance and support in improving communication, understanding each other's needs, and resolving conflicts.Take time to reflect on your own behavior and actions within the relationship. Consider how you can be a more caring and attentive partner, and be willing to make changes where necessary.Improving a relationship takes time and effort from both parties. Be patient with yourself and your wife as you navigate through challenges and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

Remember that it's okay to seek outside help and support when needed, and that small steps towards positive change can make a big difference in the long run.

Ans: No one deserves to be verbally abused, no matter what other positive things might be present in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being above all else.
Reach out to friends, family members, or a trusted individual who can offer support and guidance. It's essential to have someone to confide in during challenging times.Speaking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and options. They can offer valuable insight and help you develop coping strategiesClearly communicate to the person that their behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate verbal abuse. Set boundaries and stick to them. If they continue to disrespect your boundaries, it may be necessary to take further action.Evaluate whether it's feasible to remove yourself from the situation, whether temporarily or permanently. This could involve seeking alternative living arrangements, such as staying with a friend or family member, or exploring other housing options.If you're concerned about your safety, develop a safety plan in case the situation escalates. This could include having a bag packed with essentials, knowing where to go in an emergency, and having a support network in place. Depending on your circumstances, you may want to consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and options, especially if you're considering leaving the living situation or seeking legal protection.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in all your relationships. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and take steps to remove yourself from a toxic environment. If you're ever in immediate danger, don't hesitate to reach out to emergency services for help.

Ans: Dear Richa,
You are financially independent and any decision you take for your life will be based on that, right?
Who knows what the future hold and one can only be hopeful that all that is done in the present times yield a good result in future.
So, whatever decision you want to take, do that keeping what it is right now...also, have faith in your capability to earn and hold your head high BUT do give your marriage a fair chance considering your son may also get rattled by any harsh decision. Do you not feel that it is time to actually confront your husband. What is he planning on doing? Sitting and waiting for something to happen for him?
He has possibly got into a place where it is comfortable not to work and things happen around him for him and everyone else. So, there really is no need for him to lift a finger. Urge your in-laws to talk to him and drive some sense into him. If he still makes no move to get proactive and take on his part of responsibilities within the marriage, think about how long and how far you want to go with this. A bit of coaching/therapy can help, but only if he willing to see that it's needed for him. More than anything, I want you to have faith in yourself and play to your strengths.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Study for yourself; not for your parents or not to be better than someone else.
Shifting focus from what others will think to how I can do my best will allow you to be very determined. Procrastination will actually vanish and you will be very motivated from within. Don't believe it? Try shifting focus and see what happens!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: When you return to India after being an NRI (Non-Resident Indian) for more than 20 years, your tax residency status will change. You will be considered a Resident but Not Ordinarily Resident (RNOR) for the first two financial years (April to March) after your return.

As an RNOR, your foreign income is generally not taxable in India unless it's derived from a business controlled or set up in India. So, any income earned from foreign sources during the RNOR period would generally not be taxable in India.

However, any income earned in India during the RNOR period will be taxable in India, along with any income from a business controlled or set up in India, regardless of whether it's earned domestically or abroad.

After the RNOR period, if you continue to stay in India, you will become a Resident and Ordinarily Resident (ROR) for tax purposes. In this case, your global income, including income earned abroad, will be taxable in India.

Tax rates in India vary depending on the income slab you fall into, and there are also various deductions and exemptions available. It's recommended to consult with a tax advisor in India who can provide personalized advice based on your specific financial situation and the prevailing tax laws at the time of your return.

Ans: It's clear you've taken a proactive approach to investing, and you've built a diverse portfolio across various mutual funds. Let's assess your current holdings and provide some guidance.

Your SIPs in HDFC Defence, HDFC Multicap, HDFC Small Cap, Nippon Small Cap, and SBI Large and Mid Cap demonstrate a blend of large, mid, and small-cap exposure, which is commendable for diversification.

However, having multiple funds within the same fund house, such as HDFC, may lead to overlapping holdings and concentration risk. Consider diversifying across different fund houses to spread risk more effectively.

Your lump sum investments in HDFC Balanced Advantage, HDFC Focused 30, HDFC Manufacturing, SBI Contra, SBI PSU, and SBI Energy Opportunity Funds provide additional diversification across different investment themes and strategies.

While lump sum investments can be beneficial, especially during market downturns, it's essential to review your investment rationale for each fund and ensure they align with your long-term financial goals and risk tolerance.

Given the size of your lump sum investments, consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to assess if your portfolio is appropriately diversified and if any adjustments are needed to optimize returns while managing risk.

Additionally, periodically review your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments to stay aligned with your financial objectives and market conditions.

In conclusion, while your current investments showcase a diverse portfolio, consider diversifying across fund houses and regularly reviewing your holdings to ensure they remain aligned with your long-term financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

Ans: Achieving a minimum return of 12% per annum requires a strategic and diversified approach to investing. Here are some reasonable and safe investment options to consider:

Equity Mutual Funds: Investing in well-managed equity mutual funds with a track record of consistent performance can potentially offer returns higher than 12% over the long term. Opt for funds with a diversified portfolio across sectors and market capitalizations to mitigate risk.

Index Funds: While you mentioned not recommending index funds, they can still be considered for their lower fees and broad market exposure. However, actively managed funds may offer the potential for higher returns, albeit with slightly higher fees.

Diversified Portfolio: Building a diversified portfolio that includes a mix of equities, debt instruments, and alternative investments can help spread risk and optimize returns. Consider allocating a portion of your portfolio to asset classes like bonds, gold, and real estate investment trusts (REITs) to enhance diversification.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): Investing regularly through SIPs in mutual funds allows you to benefit from rupee cost averaging and can potentially generate attractive returns over the long term, even during market fluctuations.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): PPF offers a tax-efficient investment option with relatively stable returns and a long-term investment horizon. While the returns may vary, historically, PPF has offered returns higher than 12% in some periods.

National Pension System (NPS): NPS is a retirement-focused investment vehicle that offers the potential for attractive returns through exposure to equities, corporate bonds, and government securities. Opting for the Active Choice option allows you to customize your asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and return expectations.

Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITs): Investing in REITs provides exposure to the real estate sector without the hassle of property management. REITs typically offer attractive dividend yields and the potential for capital appreciation over time.

Direct Equity: While direct equity investing carries higher risk, carefully selecting fundamentally strong companies with growth potential can potentially yield returns higher than 12% over the long term. Conduct thorough research or seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner before investing in individual stocks.

Remember, achieving a minimum return of 12% per annum requires patience, discipline, and a long-term investment horizon. It's essential to align your investment strategy with your risk tolerance, financial goals, and time horizon.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

Ans: what is your vision behind investing and how long are you going to invest?