We had an arranged marriage through matrimonial site. He lied to me about his drinking habits and financial status, etc. But after marriage i let it go that these things can be changed. His mother from the very first day was taunting and harrassing me for my skin colour, clothes, things given by my parents, etc. I never answered back to her. He also didn't said a single word to stop her. His sisters also used to taunt me and there were lots of interference. I never told anything to my parents. One day his mother was harrassing me over phone. I didn't said anything to her but called my husband and told him everything in very angered tone. He recorded everything and sent it to my parents, his parents, etc. When i tried to confront him, he blocked me. We couldn't talk for a long period. Now, he doesn't want to continue this relationship and said he wants divorce without giving any explanation. I am also very hurt. But also very confused about my future with him that how will i live with such a spineless man? My parents are not listening me that i also don't want to continue this toxic relationship. What should I do?

Dear K,

What advice will you give a close friend if she came to you with the same problem that you have stated? Will you ask her to reconcile or keep her sanity intact?

Controlling the spouse is a classic way of coping for insecurity related issues within a relationship.

Being years older to you and having a young wife possibly might have given him goosebumps of you being attractive to people your age.

Whatever the reason, being passive aggressive and registering his insecurity through not talking for months, stalking you, monitoring your social media accounts, threatening to blackmail you with screenshots from your previous affairs; does it all sound like he is a person who you want to spend your life with?

If you still feel there is small chance and you want to, seek the help of a professional who can work with him and then the two of you to create an element of trust that is absolutely missing.

Any relationship that lacks trust, just crumbles as the foundation is weak and every little act that questions the other person’s integrity drives a further wedge.

You have a child that is dependent on you; be strong and whichever way that you choose, drive it…Inaction is what is causing you health issues, so do something NOW.

All the best and Be Strong.

Dear S,

Time this one out! Which means, drop a deadline by having a conversation with your husband as to when your family will finally have a chance to function independently from in-laws or any other external circumstances.

Dropping deadlines means, both of you will be under the pump to put down a plan as to what needs to be done to clear out the existing muck and how beautifully you will create a loving environment for your baby to grow.

Not taking care of the baby or you, is not an option for him; but I guess it has become a convenient arrangement for him as you live with your parents and he does not need to take care of the fights and expenses as well.

This could only mean he is escaping reality and finding peace in avoiding it. Put him in the face of reality and that goes for you as well.

Being too accommodative can also become a habit where you rely on the comfort of what it brings to you; in this case the comfort at your parents' home.

For the sake of the baby, work together as a team and create a beautiful relationship; which will help the baby grow healthy, physically and emotionally.

All the best!