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Anu Krishna  |1527 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
RICHA Question by RICHA on May 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello maam i am married since 18 years and since last 5 years my husband is not earning but my in laws are well to do me and my husband are in a relation where we end up quarrelling even if we have converstion of 2 mins i am financially independent and have son of 14 years but he is truely in influence of his father i dont have parents nor a sibling i dont know what to do i sometimes feel if i leave my husband and if i fail in my job than what about my future my age is 38 in all my surroundings i have seen all husband take care and responsiblity of their wife but my husband is totally self centered and the most pathetic thing is he does not even realize this please suggest what can be done

Ans: Dear Richa,
You are financially independent and any decision you take for your life will be based on that, right?
Who knows what the future hold and one can only be hopeful that all that is done in the present times yield a good result in future.
So, whatever decision you want to take, do that keeping what it is right now...also, have faith in your capability to earn and hold your head high BUT do give your marriage a fair chance considering your son may also get rattled by any harsh decision. Do you not feel that it is time to actually confront your husband. What is he planning on doing? Sitting and waiting for something to happen for him?
He has possibly got into a place where it is comfortable not to work and things happen around him for him and everyone else. So, there really is no need for him to lift a finger. Urge your in-laws to talk to him and drive some sense into him. If he still makes no move to get proactive and take on his part of responsibilities within the marriage, think about how long and how far you want to go with this. A bit of coaching/therapy can help, but only if he willing to see that it's needed for him. More than anything, I want you to have faith in yourself and play to your strengths.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Hey, I am married it's been 12 years, I have a 11 years boy. I did my masters before marriage I worked as teacher. I told my husband as well I want to work he said I can work with him in this college where he is also working. When I got married he said my degree is not eligible to work in this college that was geniune they need btech I am Bsc. So I asked I can work in other place and he said I can't. I tried hard but the answer was not all the time. I started with online classes basically working from home and I did it for 10 years. Now why I am so desperate to work? He never pays me anything he never buys anything whenever I ask he says you or your parents did give anything to me so I have nothing to give you. When this alliance came to me we asked them very clearly if they are expecting dowry. They clearly said they don't and that's the reason I married him. I am from a middle class family, and I was brought up like a happy kid. Here in my in laws home my mil drinks alcohol daily and uses very bad words. I adjusted and we shifted to other city for my husband job. Even my husband used to drink and confronted him and he reduced it mostly. Recently due to health issues he completely quit alcohol which was a god's grace. He has some medical condition where he is not actively participating in physical intimacy. He is very close to our son. They both love each other like anything. Seeing this I take every shot he gives me. But I think I am broken I wanted to fix it now I found a job and going my husband is behaving like I murdered someone and not talking and doing drama. Treats me like a maid and say do this house chores properly you can think about job later. I am a very enthusiastic person who wanted to learn now I told him very clearly that if he wants me quit job he needs to pay me. He refused and said if your can bring money from your home I will pay. I said why would I bring money and give him? So he behaves very weird and sadistic like he never wants me leave house, not atleast without telling him. He hide bike keys when he comes to some city so that I can't go anywhere. When I was working online he used to come to lunch I kept everything ready on table for him and continuing my work if I forget to keep water on table he was furious and say I should concentrate on this instead of my job when I forget something to keep he disconnects the modem and hide it so that I can't work. I am fed up and I can't hold this anymore where I am not being respected, not given financial support, no sex, no good talk, only expect to make perfect coffee, lunch ,dinner and take care of home with no dirt atall. I told him I will file divorce now he asks for forgiveness and this happened many time everytime I say I will leave he will behave like a kid even touching my feet. I am doing psychology which is one of my dream he is against that as well but now when I reading I think he is very manipulative psychopath. My boy I very much into him. I am doing my job right now. We have no vacations no outing nothing. He doesn't want to spend a penny on us. I take my boy put he doesn't accompany us. He doesn't like outings he say. What should I do? I can't leave as my boy can't get seperated. I can't live with him coz I have nothing in this relationship just explotation. He will not let me leave coz he knows he cannot live without us. And no one care about him. How to deal with him to make home happy atleast to my boy coz his toxic nature like manipulation and threatening blackmailing is effecting me and my boy I don't want my boy to go through this or learn this from him atleast. He needs to know how to treat a wife the way his father treat is not right I want to grow him into a nice gentleman not like this father. What can I do for this?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're facing. Navigating a relationship like this can be incredibly challenging, especially with a child involved. It's clear you're dedicated to creating a better environment for yourself and your son, which is an important first step.

First, it's essential to acknowledge your strengths and resilience. You've managed to pursue further education, maintain a job, and care for your son despite the significant challenges at home. Recognizing your own capabilities is crucial as you move forward.

Consider seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide you with emotional support and help you develop strategies to cope with your husband's behavior. They can also assist you in building a safety plan. If you ever feel physically unsafe, having a plan in place to ensure you and your son's safety is critical. This could include knowing where you can go, such as a friend's house or a family member's home, and having important documents and essentials ready to take with you.

Additionally, it might be helpful to speak with a legal professional. Understanding your rights and options regarding your marriage and any potential separation is vital. A lawyer can guide you through the process and help you protect your interests and those of your son.

Maintaining documentation of your husband's abusive or manipulative behavior, financial control, and any incidents can be useful if you decide to take legal action. Keeping a detailed record will provide evidence that can support your case.

It's important to create a support network. Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can offer you emotional support and practical assistance. Sharing your situation with someone you trust can provide relief and help you feel less isolated.

Given your husband's behavior, setting boundaries is essential. Be firm about your decision to work and pursue your interests. Consistently reinforce your boundaries, and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. This might provoke further resistance from your husband initially, but maintaining these boundaries is crucial for your well-being.

Communicate openly with your son about the situation in an age-appropriate manner. Reassure him that the issues between you and your husband are not his fault. Encourage him to express his feelings and let him know it's okay to feel upset or confused.

Your focus on raising your son to treat others with respect and kindness is commendable. Modeling respectful and assertive behavior yourself will be a powerful lesson for him. Ensure he understands the importance of treating others with dignity and respect, regardless of how others may act.

Finally, prioritize your own well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Taking care of your mental and physical health is essential, as it will provide you with the strength and clarity needed to navigate this challenging situation.

It's a difficult journey, but by seeking support, setting boundaries, and focusing on your well-being, you can work towards creating a healthier environment for yourself and your son. Remember that you deserve respect and happiness, and taking steps towards achieving that is not only beneficial for you but also sets a positive example for your son.

..Read more

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Janak Patel  |18 Answers  |Ask -

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Hello Sir, I am 48 years old working in a software company with the monthly income of 2.5lakhs. I have 2 independent houses in which I am planning to sell one for 1.6crores and take one flat with 1.4Cr to save capital gains. below are my queries 1. Can I use remaining 20lakhs for registration, car parking to save LTCG? 2. If not, I have other house with home loan of 80Lakhs. Can I prepay the 20Lakhs for other house to save LTCG? 3. the existing house sale might conclude by April 2025, and new flat registration I am expecting in 2026 April. so the full amount to the builder will happen only in April 2026, can I keep the amount in savings account or do a short term Fixed deposit? what are the tax implications on this amount as by the time we file the income tax this deal will not close.
Ans: Hi Karunakar,

You have an House property (independent house) valued at 1.6Cr which you intend to sell and use the amount to purchase another House property (flat) with value of 1.4Cr.
You have raise multiple queries and before responding to them, I will try to explain the capital gains on house property.
Capital Gains = Sale value - cost of acquisition - cost of improvement - expenses incurred for sale (e.g. brokerage).
So first calculate the Capital gains on selling the property, as you mentioned you are selling it for 1.6Cr, so reduce it by the acquisition cost, etc.
Once you have the Capital gains amount, that is the amount you need to re-invest in another property to save tax on it, in your case the Flat (value more than the CG) can be purchase with the next 2 years and no tax will be payable.
So lets assume out of 1.6 Cr, you have CG of 1Cr, then 1Cr reinvested in another property i.e. for your flat cost of 1.4Cr, you will have no tax payable.
So its not the full value of sale, its only on the Capital gains that you need to worry for paying taxes.
The remaining amount of 60lakhs in above example can be utilized as per your requirement.
Responses
1. & 2. You can use any amount above the capital gains for any purpose you see fit - like parking, registration, loan or any other form of investment.
3. If the sale will conclude in April 2025, and your payment of the capital gains towards new flat will be April 2026, then you need to invest the capital gains amount as per below -
- if you are sure of purchase of flat, then within 6 months of sale date invest the amount in "Capital Gains Account Scheme CGAS)" in authorized banks. Amount will be kept in a special FD for 2 years and you can withdraw anytime to pay for your new property.

Within 6 months from sale of property or before tax filing for FY of sale date, i.e. FY25-26 filing date 31 July 2026, whichever is earlier, you need to make a decision.
If you are not planning to purchase another house property, then reinvest in specific long term capital gain bonds from NHAI, REC, some others, these bonds have lock-in of 5 years
If you decide to purchase another property, deposit CG in CGAS as mentioned above.

Interest earned on these deposits in taxable (under head of Other income).

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8024 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

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The fund value is rs 1200000 under the SBI Life insurance Retire Smart Policy at the end of 5 years. How much monthly pension will be payable and how long, if the total policy period is 10 years.
Ans: The monthly pension payable depends on several factors. Let us evaluate these factors and assess the best approach for your financial security.

Key Factors Affecting Monthly Pension
Fund Value at Present: Rs 12,00,000 after five years.

Remaining Policy Term: Five more years to complete the total term of ten years.

Pension Calculation Basis: The pension amount will depend on how the fund performs in the next five years.

Withdrawal and Annuity Rules: Many insurance-based pension plans require a part of the corpus to be used for annuity purchase.

Investment Growth Possibility: If the fund remains invested for five more years, the value can increase.

Annuity Rate at Maturity: The monthly pension will be based on prevailing annuity rates at the time of vesting.

Potential Pension Payout
If the fund grows well, the pension amount will be higher.

If returns are lower, the pension amount will be less than expected.

Annuity rates fluctuate, affecting the final monthly payout.

Pension depends on life expectancy, as longer periods mean lower monthly payouts.

Evaluating Alternative Options
Investment-Linked Pension Plans: These often provide lower returns than mutual funds.

Mutual Funds for Higher Growth: Actively managed mutual funds have historically delivered better long-term returns.

Surrender and Reinvestment: If surrendering is allowed, reinvesting in mutual funds can be beneficial.

Flexibility of Mutual Funds: Mutual funds provide withdrawal flexibility, unlike annuities.

Taxation Impact on Pension
Annuity payments are taxable as per the income tax slab.

Mutual fund withdrawals are taxed based on capital gains rules.

Tax-free corpus from PPF can be considered for additional retirement income.

Final Insights
Insurance-based pension plans have limitations. Returns are lower than actively managed funds.

Annuity is rigid, whereas mutual funds allow flexible withdrawals.

Assess personal risk appetite before deciding on the final pension approach.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for a tailored strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8024 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

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Money
Do I change my Lap loan to Home Loan? In 2015 I took a Home Loan on from Karnataka Bank then I took Top-up in 2017. But in 2021 For extra top-up I convert my home loan into LAP now I'm financially stable now, did I convert my loan from LAP to Home Loan. Is it possible ?
Ans: Yes, converting your Loan Against Property (LAP) back to a Home Loan is possible, but it depends on your bank’s policies. Here’s what you need to consider:

Key Differences Between LAP and Home Loan
Interest Rate: LAP usually has a higher interest rate (10-14%) compared to a home loan (8-9%). Converting to a home loan may reduce your interest burden.

Loan Tenure: Home loans offer longer tenures (up to 30 years), whereas LAP has shorter tenures (up to 15 years).

Tax Benefits: Home loans offer tax benefits under Section 80C and 24(b), but LAP does not.

Purpose: Home loans are meant for property purchase/construction, while LAP is for general financing needs.

Conversion Feasibility
Bank Approval: Karnataka Bank must agree to convert your LAP back to a home loan. Banks usually allow this if the original purpose was home-related.

Property Usage: If the LAP was taken for personal needs (not business), banks may consider converting it.

Documentation: You will need to submit fresh home loan documents, including income proof and property papers.

Alternative Options
Home Loan Balance Transfer: If Karnataka Bank does not allow conversion, transfer your LAP to another bank as a home loan for a lower interest rate.

Prepayment Strategy: If your financial condition has improved, consider prepaying the LAP instead of converting.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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