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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
RICHA Question by RICHA on May 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello maam i am married since 18 years and since last 5 years my husband is not earning but my in laws are well to do me and my husband are in a relation where we end up quarrelling even if we have converstion of 2 mins i am financially independent and have son of 14 years but he is truely in influence of his father i dont have parents nor a sibling i dont know what to do i sometimes feel if i leave my husband and if i fail in my job than what about my future my age is 38 in all my surroundings i have seen all husband take care and responsiblity of their wife but my husband is totally self centered and the most pathetic thing is he does not even realize this please suggest what can be done

Ans: Dear Richa,
You are financially independent and any decision you take for your life will be based on that, right?
Who knows what the future hold and one can only be hopeful that all that is done in the present times yield a good result in future.
So, whatever decision you want to take, do that keeping what it is right now...also, have faith in your capability to earn and hold your head high BUT do give your marriage a fair chance considering your son may also get rattled by any harsh decision. Do you not feel that it is time to actually confront your husband. What is he planning on doing? Sitting and waiting for something to happen for him?
He has possibly got into a place where it is comfortable not to work and things happen around him for him and everyone else. So, there really is no need for him to lift a finger. Urge your in-laws to talk to him and drive some sense into him. If he still makes no move to get proactive and take on his part of responsibilities within the marriage, think about how long and how far you want to go with this. A bit of coaching/therapy can help, but only if he willing to see that it's needed for him. More than anything, I want you to have faith in yourself and play to your strengths.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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Hey, I am married it's been 12 years, I have a 11 years boy. I did my masters before marriage I worked as teacher. I told my husband as well I want to work he said I can work with him in this college where he is also working. When I got married he said my degree is not eligible to work in this college that was geniune they need btech I am Bsc. So I asked I can work in other place and he said I can't. I tried hard but the answer was not all the time. I started with online classes basically working from home and I did it for 10 years. Now why I am so desperate to work? He never pays me anything he never buys anything whenever I ask he says you or your parents did give anything to me so I have nothing to give you. When this alliance came to me we asked them very clearly if they are expecting dowry. They clearly said they don't and that's the reason I married him. I am from a middle class family, and I was brought up like a happy kid. Here in my in laws home my mil drinks alcohol daily and uses very bad words. I adjusted and we shifted to other city for my husband job. Even my husband used to drink and confronted him and he reduced it mostly. Recently due to health issues he completely quit alcohol which was a god's grace. He has some medical condition where he is not actively participating in physical intimacy. He is very close to our son. They both love each other like anything. Seeing this I take every shot he gives me. But I think I am broken I wanted to fix it now I found a job and going my husband is behaving like I murdered someone and not talking and doing drama. Treats me like a maid and say do this house chores properly you can think about job later. I am a very enthusiastic person who wanted to learn now I told him very clearly that if he wants me quit job he needs to pay me. He refused and said if your can bring money from your home I will pay. I said why would I bring money and give him? So he behaves very weird and sadistic like he never wants me leave house, not atleast without telling him. He hide bike keys when he comes to some city so that I can't go anywhere. When I was working online he used to come to lunch I kept everything ready on table for him and continuing my work if I forget to keep water on table he was furious and say I should concentrate on this instead of my job when I forget something to keep he disconnects the modem and hide it so that I can't work. I am fed up and I can't hold this anymore where I am not being respected, not given financial support, no sex, no good talk, only expect to make perfect coffee, lunch ,dinner and take care of home with no dirt atall. I told him I will file divorce now he asks for forgiveness and this happened many time everytime I say I will leave he will behave like a kid even touching my feet. I am doing psychology which is one of my dream he is against that as well but now when I reading I think he is very manipulative psychopath. My boy I very much into him. I am doing my job right now. We have no vacations no outing nothing. He doesn't want to spend a penny on us. I take my boy put he doesn't accompany us. He doesn't like outings he say. What should I do? I can't leave as my boy can't get seperated. I can't live with him coz I have nothing in this relationship just explotation. He will not let me leave coz he knows he cannot live without us. And no one care about him. How to deal with him to make home happy atleast to my boy coz his toxic nature like manipulation and threatening blackmailing is effecting me and my boy I don't want my boy to go through this or learn this from him atleast. He needs to know how to treat a wife the way his father treat is not right I want to grow him into a nice gentleman not like this father. What can I do for this?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're facing. Navigating a relationship like this can be incredibly challenging, especially with a child involved. It's clear you're dedicated to creating a better environment for yourself and your son, which is an important first step.

First, it's essential to acknowledge your strengths and resilience. You've managed to pursue further education, maintain a job, and care for your son despite the significant challenges at home. Recognizing your own capabilities is crucial as you move forward.

Consider seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide you with emotional support and help you develop strategies to cope with your husband's behavior. They can also assist you in building a safety plan. If you ever feel physically unsafe, having a plan in place to ensure you and your son's safety is critical. This could include knowing where you can go, such as a friend's house or a family member's home, and having important documents and essentials ready to take with you.

Additionally, it might be helpful to speak with a legal professional. Understanding your rights and options regarding your marriage and any potential separation is vital. A lawyer can guide you through the process and help you protect your interests and those of your son.

Maintaining documentation of your husband's abusive or manipulative behavior, financial control, and any incidents can be useful if you decide to take legal action. Keeping a detailed record will provide evidence that can support your case.

It's important to create a support network. Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can offer you emotional support and practical assistance. Sharing your situation with someone you trust can provide relief and help you feel less isolated.

Given your husband's behavior, setting boundaries is essential. Be firm about your decision to work and pursue your interests. Consistently reinforce your boundaries, and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. This might provoke further resistance from your husband initially, but maintaining these boundaries is crucial for your well-being.

Communicate openly with your son about the situation in an age-appropriate manner. Reassure him that the issues between you and your husband are not his fault. Encourage him to express his feelings and let him know it's okay to feel upset or confused.

Your focus on raising your son to treat others with respect and kindness is commendable. Modeling respectful and assertive behavior yourself will be a powerful lesson for him. Ensure he understands the importance of treating others with dignity and respect, regardless of how others may act.

Finally, prioritize your own well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Taking care of your mental and physical health is essential, as it will provide you with the strength and clarity needed to navigate this challenging situation.

It's a difficult journey, but by seeking support, setting boundaries, and focusing on your well-being, you can work towards creating a healthier environment for yourself and your son. Remember that you deserve respect and happiness, and taking steps towards achieving that is not only beneficial for you but also sets a positive example for your son.

..Read more

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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My age is 41 years. I have two kids. Nurturing n looking after them n whole home single handedly. I am a visiting faculty in a institute . Earns very nominal earning. My husband hits me, taunts me and use very arrogant words to me like tumhe belt se maarunga n similar many worst words. His family has been always unsupportive to me . Now after 16 years of marriage, he still wants me to please his mother n other family. Which I completely avoid as they have never supported me and always boycotted me. His real brother is in politics and all family members including his cousins do follow him and boycotted me n husband. Now for everything my husband blames me and says if you gave pleased them, all might have good. But inspite of pleasing them a lot , they are like treating me like I am a stranger. I handle n manage everything still by the end of the day.... everything is in vain. Husband says...What you did for home? I will never ever give my money to you and so on. I am literally in trouble thoughts, what to do ? I even many times thought to end my life but my kids are the reason I continuously bears everything. Please suggest what shall I do.
Ans: it's important to acknowledge that no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect and abuse. Your feelings of isolation and frustration are valid. It can feel overwhelming when the people who should support you instead make you feel like an outsider.

In situations like this, it’s crucial to find support outside the immediate family. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can offer you emotional strength and practical advice. Consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and provide strategies for dealing with the abuse and stress.

You’ve shown immense resilience, especially for your children. They need you to be strong, and seeking help is a vital step in preserving your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, prioritizing your health is not selfish; it’s necessary for you and your children’s future.

Also, explore any legal avenues or resources available for individuals in abusive relationships. Local support organizations, legal aid, or women’s shelters can provide advice and assistance if you decide that leaving the relationship is the best option for your safety and well-being.

You have already shown great courage by managing so much on your own. Continue to seek out support and know that you are not alone in this journey. There are people and resources willing to help you find a path to a healthier and more secure life.

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Reetika Sharma  |459 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 34 years old, married, with no children yet, but we plan to start a family by the end of 2026. Our monthly household take-home income is 4.4 lakh. We have cumulative EMIs of 1.50 lakhs per month: (1) Home Loan (1 Cr Outstanding, 9 years left): 1.1 lacs per month, (2) Car Loan (8 lacs outstanding 4 years left): 25k per month (3) Personal Loan (4 years left) - 15k per month. Our investments include 50 lakh in stocks and mutual funds, and 30 lakh in PF. I have a term plan with cover till age 85, costing additional 1.3 lakh per year in premium for next 7 years. Me and my wife are covered by our employer for medical insurance, and our parents will also have PSU pension and medical cover after retirement. We spend around 1.2 lakh per month on household expenses in Gurgaon. We invest 1 lakh monthly having 20-90 split in stocks and MFs and keep 2 lakh in an emergency savings account. My long-term goal is to pay off all loans, build a financial buffer to move back to my hometown a tier 2 city and do remote work from there - this might reduce our househol income by 30-40%. Given these details, how should I plan our investments to achieve the goals and how many years are we looking to achieve this?
Ans: Hi,

You have done great investments at such age. Let us go through the details one by one:
1. You have a term cover and health insurance for yourself as well as family.
2. You should have emergency fund of 6 months' worth expenses in liquid mutual funds for uncertain times, 2 lakhs is way too less.
3. Currently 3 loans - Home, Car and Personal. All loans will be finished in 9 and 4 years respectively(total EMI - 1.5 lakhs). Overall loans are high. Try to close PErsonal loand first followed by car loan to reduce the EMI burden.
4. 50 lakhs current holdings in stocks and mutual funds.
5. 30 lakhs in PF.
6. 1.4 lakh monthly expenses.
7. Current SIP - 1 lakh permonth in stocks and mutual funds.

You have build a great wealth for yourself at your age. You are also planning to start a family. Keep your invesments like this with consistency and you will finish loans and be able to move to your home as well.

Although direct stock investment needs loads of time and research - hence not recommended. It is advisable for you to keep your investments limited to mutual funds only. And it would be great to take a professional's help as even a slightest mistake can break or make your wealth.

Before relocating after few years, try to maximize your investments at the maximum potential and let compounding do its magic. Try to invest more than 1 lakh per month in mutual funds for a secured future.

Doing and managing investments along with your job is not recommended. It is always better to go for professional advice when it comes to money.

You can connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |459 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Advait sir, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

It is great that you are investing since 2017. Long investments and patience always gives results.
You can easily achieve your goal corpus by the time you turn 58, if investment done correctly.

The funds you mentioned have so much overlapping and scattered. It needs rework and complete reallocation. Maximum of 5 funds should be there. Take the help of a professional to align your portfolio with your goal and customized profile.

A random portfolio like yours can create an opposite impact and generate negative to zero returns.

And try to increase the monthly SIP by 10% each year. This will take care of inflation power.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

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Reetika Sharma  |459 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

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Hello and namaskar.. I am 36 years old. Need your guidance in the following funds- (a) parag parekh flexi cap - 7500/- per month (B) GROWW nifty midcap 150 index fund -2500/- per month (C) mirae asset ELLS tax saver -5000/- (D) pGIM india mid cap opp. Fund -5000/- (E) quant small cap fund-4000/- (F) ICICI prudential equity and debt fund - 3000 (G) HDFC FLEXI CAP FUND - 4000 (H) Uti nifty 50 index fund - 5000 Additionally I want to invest 1lakh annually. Tell me where to invest this additional amount. These funds are ok or I should exit from any fund and invest in any other fund. I want to get 2 crore till the end of 2035. Am I going on the right track.
Ans: Hi Rajesh,

Appreciate your dedication in investing in mutual funds for long term. The funds selected by you are very random and not recommended for your goal. Overall investments are also not in alignment, this portfolio is a very random one.
Currently you are investing 36000 per month - keep your investments simple in largecap, midcap, smallcap and mutlicap fund. Keep additional 1 lakh as well in these funds.

You should consider exiting funds like quant and shift to more stable ones.

Your current funds are direct, but direct funds are over-rated. A random portfolio like this can instead give less returns than a professionally designed one. It is always better to go for a regular portfolio suggested by a professional. Proper funds with a designed dedicated plan will help you reach your goal of 2 crores in 10 years in an efficient way.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

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Reetika Sharma  |459 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Money
I am 62 years old and I forgot to apply for a monthly pension from EPFO, even though I worked for my previous company for 13 years. I am currently working for another company, but when I try to apply online, I don't see Form 10D; only Form 31 is showing, even though I have left my previous company. pls confirm me what is a issue.
Ans: Hi,

The issue is that you are still employed and online application for monthly pension i.e. Form 10D is available only after you have left service and updated your date of exit on the EPFO portal.
But as you are currently active with a new employer, the system only permits Form 31 for partial withdrawals.

Since you meet the requirements for a superannuation pension (age 62 with 13 years of service), please follow these steps to proceed:

1. Verify Your Service History - Check the "Service History" section of your UAN portal. Ensure your previous employer has officially updated your Date of Exit. The online system cannot process a pension claim without this status update.
2. Use the Offline Application Method - If the online portal remains restricted or encounters technical errors, you must submit a physical application.
* Download Form 10D: Obtain the hard copy from the official EPFO website.
* Employer Attestation: Complete the form and have it signed by your previous employer.
* Alternative Attestation: If your previous employer is unavailable or the company has closed, you may have the form attested by a Gazetted Officer, a Magistrate, or your Bank Manager.
3. Submission Details - Submit the signed form to your regional EPFO office along with the following:
* Three passport-sized photographs.
* A cancelled cheque (for the account where you wish to receive the pension).
* Valid proof of age.

For real-time status updates or specific account queries, you can reach the **EPFO helpline at 14470.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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