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Ans: As on the date of sale of plot, if you own only 1 property you are eligible for exemption u/s 54F. Thus, if you gift houses to your children before sale of plot; you will be eligible for tax exemption

Ans: I’ll respond to you the way I would if you were sitting across the table, not as a portfolio sheet but as a 36-year-old trying to build stability while carrying emotional noise in the background.

First, take a breath.

You are not doing things wrong. In fact, for your age, you are doing many things right. What you are feeling is not financial weakness, it is planning fatigue plus family uncertainty. When money decisions are mixed with parental pressure, even good plans feel shaky.

So let us separate emotion from structure and see where you stand.

1. Income and savings behaviour

Combined income ?2.2L per month.

Without even knowing expenses in detail, I can see disciplined allocation happening across buckets:

House down payment fund

Retirement

Child education

Insurance

Gold

EPF

This is the behaviour of planners, not spenders. That foundation matters more than product selection.

2. House down payment fund

You have:

?50L already parked in FD

?50K per month ongoing addition

Purchase timeline undecided

This is actually the correct approach.

When location clarity is missing, locking into property becomes emotional, not financial.

FD parking is fine because:

Capital safety matters more than return

Down payment money should not sit in equity

Liquidity must remain intact

No change needed here until decision clarity emerges.

3. Child education bucket

You are building through multiple channels:

PPF → ?1.5L yearly

MF SIP ?5K (Bandhan Small Cap)

NPS Vatsalya ?60K yearly

Gold 120 gms

Intent is good. Structure needs simplification.

Right now the child corpus is fragmented across too many instruments with different lock-ins and return profiles.

For a 15-year goal, education funding works best with:

60–70% equity mutual funds

30–40% debt (PPF or debt funds)

Gold and NPS Vatsalya can stay but should not dominate.

Your PPF discipline is excellent. Continue.

But small cap alone for child goal is high volatility. Add flexicap or index exposure over time.

4. Retirement planning

Current retirement assets:

EPF ?15L

NPS contributions

Postal insurance (?12K/month)

LIC/Aditya Birla policies

MF SIP ?20K

Direct equity ?1L

You are building retirement through both market and guaranteed products.

Nothing wrong philosophically. But allocation tilt is debt-heavy for age 36.

At your age, retirement wealth needs equity engine more than guarantees.

Otherwise corpus grows slowly and inflation eats purchasing power.

Your MF SIP of ?20K is a good start but needs scaling gradually as income rises.

Think of equity as growth engine, not speculation.

5. Traditional insurance policies

You already recognise this yourself, which is good awareness.

Let us classify:

Postal insurance

Treat as long-term debt. Continue since committed.

LIC / Aditya Birla / HDFC policies

Since premiums are already paid or mid-way:

Do not surrender blindly

Do not add new ones

Treat maturity as future debt allocation

Mistake is buying. Continuing is not.

You have already crossed the behavioural trap of mixing insurance with investment. That learning phase is valuable.

6. Term insurance

Both covered ?1 Cr each.

Cover till age 80.

Premium paying term limited to 10 years.

Structurally strong protection. No change required unless liabilities rise sharply.

7. Health insurance gap

This is the biggest structural risk in your plan.

Employer cover is temporary comfort, not permanent protection.

Job change, break, illness, or early retirement can expose you.

You should add:

Family floater health cover (?10–20L minimum)

Super top-up if budget conscious

Health events damage retirement plans faster than market crashes.

This needs priority before increasing investments.

8. Direct equity exposure

?1L currently with intent to grow.

Keep it as learning capital, not core retirement pillar.

Ensure mutual funds remain the primary equity vehicle unless you actively track markets.

9. Emotional stress from parents

Let me address this separately because it is influencing your financial psychology.

When parents are financially controlling or unpredictable:

Children overcompensate through hyper-planning

Multiple products get bought for psychological safety

Liquidity buffers increase

Your portfolio shows signs of this.

Not wrong. Just emotionally hedged.

Planning independently with your spouse is the right long-term stabiliser.

Financial autonomy reduces emotional friction over time.

10. What you are doing right

Let me list this clearly because stress hides progress:

Strong savings rate

House fund separated

Retirement started early

Child education already initiated at age 3

EPF untouched

Term insurance in place

Gold allocation moderate, not excessive

No reckless loans mentioned

This is a disciplined financial household.

11. Course corrections needed

Not drastic. Just structural tuning.

Priority actions:

Add private health insurance

Gradually increase equity MF SIP over years

Reduce future dependence on traditional policies

Consolidate child education funds into fewer vehicles

Avoid adding new guaranteed return schemes

You don’t need overhaul. Just rebalancing.

12. Bigger perspective

At 36, the goal is not perfection.

It is direction.

You are building simultaneously:

A house fund

A retirement base

A child corpus

Insurance safety

Doing all four at once always feels financially tight.

But this is the heaviest phase of life financially.

After house purchase and policy premiums reduce, cashflow frees up significantly.

Stress reduces automatically then.

Closing thought

You are not behind.

You are in the messy middle stage of wealth creation where:

Responsibilities are high

Liquidity is stretched

Decisions feel heavy

But foundations are forming quietly underneath.
Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered Mutal fund distributor , Certified Retirement Advisor
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

Ans: First, I want to appreciate the clarity with which you have laid out your numbers. Most people come with emotions, not data. You have come with structure. That itself puts you ahead.

Now let us look at your situation calmly.

You are 40. Planning retirement in 3–5 years means you are effectively trying to fund 40+ years of non-earning life. This is not traditional retirement. This is financial independence. The rules therefore become stricter.

Your expense reality

Today your family runs at ?1.10L per month including rent.

Post retirement you estimate ?75K because:

No rent

No commute/work lifestyle costs

This assumption is logical. However, retirement expenses rarely stay static. Medical, travel, family support, lifestyle upgrades creep in slowly.

If I inflation adjust ?75K for even 4–5 years, it comes close to ?95K–?1L per month.

So for planning, we should respect ?1L as the psychological benchmark.

Not because you will spend it on Day 1.
But because life will.

Corpus required for that income

When retirement starts at 58–60, one can withdraw 5–6%.

When retirement starts at 43–45, withdrawal must be gentler.

I would be comfortable only at 3.5–4% withdrawal.

To generate ?12L annually:

At 4% → ~?3 Cr

At 3.5% → ~?3.4 Cr

So your living corpus alone should sit in the ?3–3.5 Cr zone.

Daughter’s responsibility

You have rightly ring-fenced ?75L.

But remember, this is a 12–15 year goal. Education inflation is brutal.

?75L today can easily become ?1.2 Cr later.

I will not inflate your stress by forcing that number, but mentally keep buffer.

Children’s goals and early retirement collide often. Planning must respect both.

Where you stand today

Your combined assets come to roughly:

Financial assets → ~?1.7 Cr

Real estate → ?40L

Total → ~?2.1 Cr

Plus rental ?10K monthly.

This is a solid base for 40. No doubt about that.

The SIP engine

Your ?1.3L monthly SIP is the real retirement accelerator.

If you continue 5 years with moderate returns, it alone can create ~?1 Cr.

Add growth on existing corpus and you approach ~?4 Cr territory.

This is why timeline matters more than intent.

So can you retire in 3 years?

Financially… tight.

Not impossible. But fragile.

A market fall in first 2–3 retirement years can damage sustainability.

You would be retiring at the mercy of market sequence risk.

In 5 years?

Very different picture.

Corpus closer to ?4 Cr

Daughter goal fundable

Withdrawal stress lower

Asset allocation can be stabilised

Five years gives margin. Margin gives peace.

And peace is the real retirement currency.

One emotional but practical point

You are planning retirement.

Your wife is planning career exit.

Two incomes stopping almost together increases pressure on the same corpus.

If even one income continues part-time or consulting, retirement viability improves dramatically.

Early retirement works best when income does not drop to zero, but to optional.

Portfolio stance now

With only 3–5 years left, this is not the phase to chase returns.

Protection matters more than growth.

Gradual shift toward:

Multi-asset allocation

Balanced advantage

Equity savings

Short duration debt

Gold exposure

Equity still required, but with shock absorbers.

Because the biggest enemy of early retirement is not low return… but deep drawdown early on.

Final perspective

If I summarise your position in plain words:

You are ahead of average investors

You are slightly short for immediate retirement

You are well on track for 5-year retirement

Your SIP discipline is your strongest lever

Your biggest risks are longevity and healthcare, not markets

Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered Mutal fund distributor , Certified Retirement Advisor
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

Ans: A detailed financial position is required to give a precise recommendation. However, based on your current wording and risk tone, it would be better to avoid Nifty-linked exposure for now and instead focus on multi-asset and balanced funds

Ans: I understand how you feel. Many people feel shy about double chin and facial fat. Please don’t feel embarrassed. Your body deserves kindness and patience.

Yoga can help tone face and neck slowly. Do these daily:

1. Neck stretch – sit straight, look up slowly, hold 5 breaths.
2. Lion pose (Simhasana) – open mouth, stretch tongue out, look up. Improves face muscles.
3. Chin lift – tilt head back and gently move lower jaw up and down.
4. Bhujangasana (cobra pose) – improves neck tone and posture.
5. Shoulder rolls and chest opening – reduce slouching that creates double chin.

Practice 10–15 minutes daily. Also drink enough water, sleep well, and avoid constant mobile bending. Posture correction is very important.

Along with this, please meditate for confidence. Sit quietly, close eyes, and breathe slowly. Tell yourself: “I accept myself. I am calm and confident.” Meditation reduces embarrassment and builds self-love. When mind relaxes, face also looks brighter.

But don’t practice randomly. A yoga and meditation coach can guide correct technique and give you a safe routine for face, posture, and confidence.

I encourage you to learn under a coach instead of practicing alone.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

At a very young age you have started investing journey and that is very encouraging sign, so congratulations.

The future is not always very certain and you will know it slowly ahead in life. Your thinking is very much aligned to many in your generation who want to achieve FIRE (Financial Independence and Retire early). It is good to aspire towards achieving it.

You need a financial planner to handhold you thru this process, one who can not just plan and guide you financially, but someone who can also educate you about it.

So why do I say this - let me explain and give you some perspective too. There is missing information and which can help reassess your requirement considering market factors which can impact your future financial health.
1. How did you arrive at 10 crore corpus for your requirement? Is it the correct estimate? This itself will requirement a lot of parameters to be evaluated, estimated and quantified.
2. Choice of products currently selected, especially PLI and LIC which will provide you a return of given amounts - are these guaranteed amounts (which cannot be) or just projections of the person who sold them to you. Such products typically provide 6~7% returns only. I do not recommend such products as they do not provide optimum returns or the risk cover for an individual.
3. Risk assessment/cover (Insurance requirement) is in itself an exercise that needs to be conducted at regular intervals.
4. Your current income and expenses may be certain amounts but does this mean they will not change with time and circumstances. Of course they will.
5. Your current investments and additional investments will accumulate to an amount between 1 cr to little over 2 cr in about 13 and 18 years (as per your timelines) respectively (considering average growth rates).
6. To achieve a corpus of 10 cr as per your timeline of age 35 and 40, you will need additional 2.5 Lacs and 1 lac monthly investments respectively.

Again there are many parameters to consider before you can more accurately estimate this, but I have tried to provide a generic estimate to give you an idea of what you can expect.

So I would strongly suggest that you consult with a CFP who can assess and recommend a holistic financial plan / path to your financial independence. Its not a one time activity, but rather an ongoing exercise at regular interval as there are changes in life and the world whose impacts need to be considered for the future.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are being careful and that makes perfect sense. I would suggest having an open discussion about the same with your partner. In a polite and kind manner, put forward your concerns. For instance, ask him about the times when he doesn’t get freelance gigs, how will you two manage financially. Hear him out; he might actually have a plan for those phases. Communicating about things and figuring it out together brings people closer.

Hope this helps.

Ans: M.Tech in Civil Engineering from IIT or a top NIT is worth it if you get admission to a reputed institute, as it offers better specialization, stronger placements, higher roles, and long-term career growth, especially in core, PSUs, or academia. However, if you already have a good job opportunity and prefer practical experience, starting a job can also be a good option. The decision depends on your career goals and the quality of the institute you get into.

Final suggestion from our side: Go for M.Tech. If you're getting it.


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As I tell all, keep it meaningful instead of expensive. You can focus on your arranged-to-love lovestory and create a memory box full of handwritten notes and polaroid photos that tell your lovestory perfectly. Or, since he is a football fan, you can give him a jersey with his name, or with “best husband and father” trophy. Or a customized beer mug. For his birthday, a football themed cake. The options are infinite. Just think what would make it memorable and go with your instinct. I am sure no one can think of a better gift for your husband than you.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Either you can do this online MBA course or look at doing course on Project Management

Ans: FMS, XLRI, MDI, IIFT, IMT

Ans: Hi,

If you do not need the interest income of 25k, you can consider reouting higher amount from FD to mutual funds.
HDFC Balanced Fund is a good fund to go with.

Share more details of her current monthly SIP for me to guide you better category of funds to put a lumpsum amount.

Or you may connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Hi,

It is definitely better to invest in mutual fund if you have 5 year time period. It will generate a return of minimum 10% (more than FD) and with better tax structure on redemtion.

However, if you are new, it is better to work with a professional who will select funds based on your customized details.

Hence do connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Hi Amit,

Your concern regarding commision in regular funds is quite genuine and common these days due to the misleading content shared by some people.
You should understand that a whilst regular funds have comparatively lower expense ratio than direct funds, and this has risen to the direct fund popularity. But in actual a direct fund portfolio is only good if you know all ins and out of the market, have proper knowledge and knows the correct way to invest perse your individual profile.

There are few benefits of regular fund portfolio which is highly overlooked:
- a professional builds your portfolio keeping in mind your detailed profile, funds selction are done based on your risk profile
- a professional knows the best time to invrease your investments, to hold and to shift. They constantly monitor the same and periodically review them

And a regular fund portfolio definitely beats the direct fund portfolio made with random tips and zero or less knowledge.
Hence I would not suggest you to switch from regular to direct funds if you are working with a professional.

Also switching from regular funds to direct will attract tax, there is no way to avoid the taxation.

However, you can get your portfolio reviewed from another advisor and ask them to guide you to make necessary changes.

If you do not have an advisor, connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Here is a question for you - Have you explained this to her - about you not feeling comfortable sharing pictures on social media or do you assume she will understand why you are not doing so...here is a request - sit her down and share with her your reason of you not sharing things on social media and ask her not to get upset about it and if she wishes to post that is her choice.

Do keep in mind, this can become a cause of rift if she does not comprehend and respect your this ask.

Ans: Hi sir ,
You are entering a very sensitive financial phase where protection of capital becomes more important than aggressive growth. At the same time, you still have 30 plus years of life expectancy to fund, along with two large near-term goals children’s marriages and ongoing household expenses. So the strategy has to balance income, liquidity, and moderate growth.

Let me break this down in a practical way.

1. Where you stand today

Assets available / expected

Mutual Funds approx 15 lakh

Direct Equity approx 15.5 lakh

FD 65 lakh

Retirement proceeds expected approx 65 lakh

Money given to relatives 50 lakh uncertain timeline

Own house no loan

Total financial assets (excluding relatives money)
~160 lakh

If relatives repay, corpus rises to ~210 lakh but we should not depend on it for planning.

2. Monthly expense reality check

You mentioned ?1,00,000 per month = ?12 lakh per year.

Assuming 6 percent inflation, this expense will double in ~12 years.

So retirement planning must create income + growth, not just fixed income.

3. Immediate financial buckets to create

Think in 4 separate buckets instead of one pool.

A. Emergency + Liquidity bucket

Keep 18–24 months expenses.

?20–25 lakh
Park in:

Savings + sweep FD

Liquid / money market funds

Purpose: medical, family, urgent needs without breaking investments.

B. Marriage funding bucket (3–4 years)

Do not keep this in equity markets due to time risk.

Estimate requirement realistically. Suppose:

Daughter marriage 25–30 lakh

Son marriage 20–25 lakh

Total say 50 lakh

Park in:

Short duration debt funds

Bank FD ladder

RBI bonds

Capital safety is priority here.

C. Income generation bucket

This is the most critical post-retirement engine.

From your corpus, allocate ~70–80 lakh.

Options mix:

Senior Citizen Saving Scheme (SCSS)

Post Office MIS

RBI Floating Rate Bonds

High quality Corporate FD

Debt mutual funds with SWP

Target blended return: 7–8 percent.

This can generate ?45k–?55k monthly income.

D. Growth bucket (Long term)

You still need equity to beat inflation.

Allocate 25–30 lakh minimum.

Continue SIP (even post retirement if possible).

Suitable allocation:

Large Cap funds

Balanced Advantage / Dynamic Asset Allocation

Multi Asset funds

Time horizon: 10–20 years.

This bucket funds late retirement and healthcare inflation.

4. What to do with existing investments
Mutual Funds (15 lakh)

Keep invested. Review fund quality. Shift to:

Balanced Advantage

Large Cap / Flexi Cap

Avoid small cap concentration now.

Direct Equity (15.5 lakh)

Gradually reduce risk.

Move profits into hybrid funds or debt over 12–18 months. Do not exit in one shot to avoid tax and timing risk.

5. Retirement corpus deployment illustration

Here is a simple structure using your ~160 lakh corpus:

Bucket Amount Purpose
Emergency 25 L Liquidity
Marriage 50 L 3–4 yr goals
Income 60 L Monthly cashflow
Growth 25 L Inflation hedge

If relatives repay 50 lakh later:

Add 20 lakh to growth

Add 15 lakh to medical reserve

Add 15 lakh to income bucket

6. Monthly income gap

Expense: ?1,00,000

Income possible:

SCSS + MIS + Bonds: ~?50,000

SWP from debt / hybrid: ~?20,000

Equity dividends / growth withdrawal later: ~?10,000–?15,000

Gap may still exist initially.

So you may need:

Part time income / consulting (even ?25k helps)

Delay large withdrawals till age 60 when senior schemes expand

7. Important risks to manage
Healthcare

Take a family floater + super top up if not already.

Longevity risk

Plan till age 90, not 75.

Relatives money

Treat as “bonus”, not retirement funding.

Document repayment if possible.

Inflation

Do not over-allocate to FD.

That is the biggest mistake retirees make.

8. Action checklist

Finalize marriage budget realistically

Create 2-year emergency fund

Invest in SCSS immediately after retirement

Restructure equity to hybrid orientation

Continue SIP from surplus if feasible

Arrange health insurance buffer

Write a will and nominations

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since your relationship is new, something thoughtful that says “I am really enjoying this” would be the best idea. Focus on personal gifts, not the price. Something your partner really likes; a book or a movie merchandise. Or you can cook or bake something, or her favorite snacks with handwritten notes stuck to them. The key here is balance; sweet but not extravagant. That can be overwhelming.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Expensive gifts don’t matter. You are here, asking me about ideas; that’s effort. That is what matters here. But since your partner is expecting something big, why not gift her in experience? Plan a picnic; you can cook or bake her something, or plan a sunset date. Please don’t worry about expensive gifts because the price tag should not determine how much you care about someone.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Kindly ask your question clearly. I am unable to understand your question

Ans: Honest and respectful communication would help them because it brings hidden emotions into the open in a safe way. Right now, Aman feels unimportant when plans are cancelled, but he isn’t saying, “I miss you and I feel lonely when we don’t spend time together.” Instead, he stays quiet and likely feels rejected inside. Riya feels overwhelmed and unsupported, but she isn’t saying, “I’m under so much pressure and I need understanding, not disappointment.” So both are suffering silently and guessing each other’s intentions.
If they start speaking from their feelings rather than from blame, the tone of the relationship will change. For example, Aman can say, “When our plans change often, I feel disconnected from you,” instead of “You never make time for me.” Riya can say, “Work is draining me and sometimes I don’t have energy, but I still care about you,” instead of “You don’t understand my stress.” This kind of language opens hearts instead of creating defensiveness.
Listening is equally important. Many couples listen only to reply, not to understand. If Aman truly listens to Riya’s stress without interrupting or minimizing it, she will feel emotionally safe. If Riya listens to Aman’s need for time and reassurance without dismissing it, he will feel valued. Feeling heard is often more healing than any solution.
Patience matters because emotional habits don’t change overnight. They both need time to adjust to each other’s needs and rhythms. If one conversation doesn’t fix everything, that doesn’t mean it failed. It means they are learning how to connect better. Relationships grow stronger when partners stay patient during uncomfortable phases instead of withdrawing.
Understanding helps them see that neither is the enemy. Aman is not “needy,” he is seeking connection. Riya is not “careless,” she is overwhelmed. When they understand each other’s inner world, they stop taking things personally and start working as a team.
If they begin communicating honestly, listening with empathy, and responding with patience, their relationship will not weaken — it will deepen. Conflict handled with respect creates trust. Silence creates distance. Talking with care creates intimacy.

Ans: I can hear that you love your wife and want to help her, and that is admirable. But love does not mean tolerating ongoing psychological control. More importantly, your daughters are growing up watching this dynamic. Children who witness constant suspicion and monitoring can internalize fear, mistrust, and unhealthy relationship models.
Your wife’s behavior sounds less like simple jealousy and more like severe insecurity or possibly paranoid thinking. When someone creates connections between random events — for example, “another woman is online at the same time so she must be messaging you” — that is not rational suspicion. It suggests deep anxiety or distorted thought patterns. This is not something you can fix through reassurance alone.
In fact, the more you comply with surveillance — video calls at night, sharing location, proving yourself repeatedly — the more you unintentionally reinforce her belief that suspicion is justified. You are feeding the cycle. Reassurance helps temporarily, but the suspicion returns stronger because the root issue is inside her, not in your behavior.
You need to shift from defending yourself to setting calm boundaries.
This does not mean shouting or threatening separation. It means saying something like: “I understand you feel anxious and I want to support you, but constant monitoring and accusations are hurting me and affecting our daughters. I will not continue video surveillance or location tracking. If you feel unsafe or anxious, we need professional help together.”
The key word is “together.” She may resist therapy because suspicious individuals often believe the problem is external, not internal. But couples therapy with someone experienced in paranoid jealousy or pathological suspicion is crucial. Regular psychologists sometimes miss the depth of such patterns. You may need a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist evaluation, especially if this behavior has lasted 15 years without change.
You also need to protect your own mental health. Living under constant accusation can cause anxiety, depression, and emotional numbness. It slowly erodes self-esteem. Consider individual therapy for yourself, not to fix her, but to strengthen your emotional boundaries and resilience.
Most importantly, do not isolate yourself further. Suspicious partners often push their spouses into social isolation. Maintain healthy friendships and professional relationships within reasonable boundaries.
Ask yourself gently: has her suspicion worsened over time? Has it extended into other areas of life? If so, this may be more than jealousy — it could be a mental health condition that requires medical support.
You cannot cure her insecurity through perfection. Even if you lock yourself in a room with no phone, the suspicion will find another story.
Your role is not to prove innocence endlessly. Your role is to protect your dignity, your daughters’ emotional safety, and encourage proper treatment.
I want to ask you something important: if nothing changes and this continues for another 10 years, what impact do you think it will have on your daughters’ understanding of marriage? That answer will guide your next step.

Ans: What your husband is doing right now is breaking that basic trust.
Right now, you need clarity, not silence.
Have a calm but firm conversation with him as soon as possible. Choose a time when neither of you is angry. Tell him honestly: “I’m feeling disturbed and confused. You keep borrowing money from me and my mother, and it’s never returned. You also contacted my mother without telling me. This is hurting my trust. I need to understand what is really going on.”
Watch how he responds. A responsible partner will explain clearly, show records, admit mistakes, and make a concrete repayment plan. An irresponsible one will avoid, blame, get angry, or emotionally manipulate you.
Do not give him any more money until this is clarified. Not from your account, not from your family. Saying “no” is not disrespectful — it is self-protection.
Also, speak to your mother privately and ask her not to give him money directly without discussing it with you first. This is important, otherwise he may continue going behind your back.
Ask him directly about his finances. Does he have debts? Loans? Gambling habits? Business losses? Supporting someone else? You have the right to know. You are his wife, not his emergency fund.
If he refuses transparency, continues borrowing, or makes you feel guilty for asking questions, that is a red flag for financial abuse. It can grow worse over time if not stopped early.
You got married only two months ago. This is the right time to set boundaries. If you stay silent now, this pattern may become permanent.
You deserve a partner, not a burden.

Ans: What you are feeling is not about “love” in the romantic sense. It is about emotional connection, validation, and feeling seen at a stage of life where many people quietly feel invisible, lonely, or emotionally unfulfilled — even in long marriages. When someone younger shows warmth, respect, smiles, and listens, it can awaken feelings you have never experienced before. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human.
But it does mean you need to handle this with great responsibility.
There are three very important realities here.
First, there is a huge power imbalance. You are her employer, financially secure, respected, and much older. She is vulnerable — emotionally, financially, and socially. Her unhappy marriage makes her even more vulnerable. In such situations, feelings can easily get confused with safety, kindness, or dependency. Acting on your emotions, even with “just hugging or kissing,” would not be fair to her and could seriously harm her life.
Second, you are married for 45 years. Whatever difficulties may exist in your marriage, your wife has shared a lifetime with you. Acting on this attraction would betray that bond and could destroy your family’s peace, your reputation, and your own self-respect — things you have built over decades.
Third, this “enjoyment” you are feeling is temporary. It feels exciting now because it is new, forbidden, and emotionally stimulating. But it will not end well. It will lead to guilt, anxiety, fear of exposure, and emotional chaos — for you and for her.
Now let’s talk about what this feeling is really telling you.
You are craving emotional warmth, appreciation, and connection. You like how she makes you feel — respected, noticed, alive. That is the real need here. Not her. The feeling.
Instead of directing it toward someone unsafe, you need to bring that emotional energy back into your own life — toward your wife, your family, your interests, and yourself.
Here is what I strongly advise.
Create clear boundaries immediately. No flirting. No personal emotional sharing. No physical contact beyond basic courtesy. Keep the relationship strictly professional. This is protection — for both of you.
Do not confuse kindness with intimacy. You can be supportive and respectful without crossing lines.
Reconnect emotionally with your wife if possible. Share time, talk, travel, sit together, revive companionship. Many long marriages become emotionally silent, and people forget how much comfort is still there.
If you feel lonely, restless, or emotionally empty, consider speaking to a counselor. At this stage of life, many people go through emotional awakenings that are confusing. Talking helps bring clarity.
And most importantly, remember this: real love never puts another person at risk. Real dignity never depends on secrecy.
You are a successful man who has built a life. Don’t let a temporary emotional attraction weaken everything you’ve stood for.
You are strong enough to feel this — and strong enough to rise above it

Ans: You’re trying to “control your temper” because somewhere inside, you’ve been made to feel that if you were calmer, quieter, more patient, things would be better. But the truth is, no amount of silence or adjustment can make constant yelling healthy. When someone keeps raising their voice over small matters, it reflects their poor emotional regulation, not your failure.
That said, learning to manage your reactions is still important — not to tolerate mistreatment, but to protect your own mental health and communicate more effectively.
In the moment when he starts shouting, your body goes into stress mode. Your heart races, your thoughts become sharp, and it becomes hard to stay calm. One simple practice is to pause your response. Take two slow breaths before speaking. Even a few seconds can prevent the situation from escalating. You can quietly say, “I will talk when you speak calmly,” and step away if possible. This is not running away — it is setting a boundary.
Outside of conflict moments, try to have a calm conversation. Choose a time when neither of you is angry. Tell him how his shouting affects you, using “I” statements: “I feel hurt and scared when you raise your voice. It makes me shut down. I want us to talk respectfully, even when we disagree.” Focus on your feelings, not on accusing him.
At the same time, work on strengthening yourself emotionally. Spend time on things that make you feel confident and valued — hobbies, friends, work, prayer, exercise, anything that reminds you that you are more than just a wife trying to keep peace. The stronger you feel inside, the less his anger will shake you.
If he is willing, suggest counseling or anger management support. Many people shout because they never learned healthier ways to express frustration. Help is possible, but only if he accepts it.
If he refuses to change and the shouting becomes constant, abusive, or threatening, please take that seriously. Emotional abuse is real, even without physical harm. You deserve a home where you feel safe and respected.
Remember: controlling your temper does not mean swallowing your pain. It means learning to respond with strength, clarity, and self-respect instead of fear or explosion.

Ans: I understand how you feel. Even when thyroid reports are “normal”, many people still feel tired, cold, and low in energy. This is common in hypothyroidism. Medicine controls the hormone, but lifestyle and stress also affect how you feel.

Yoga and pranayama can support you. They cannot replace Thyroxine, but they can improve energy, metabolism, mood, and sleep.

You can start with gentle daily practice:
1. Neck and shoulder movements – improve blood flow to thyroid area.
2. Bhujangasana (cobra pose) and Matsyasana (fish pose) – gentle chest opening helps thyroid region.
3. Setu Bandhasana (bridge pose) – improves circulation and energy.
4. Anulom Vilom – balances hormones and calms mind.
5. Bhramari breathing – reduces stress and fatigue.
6. Yoga Nidra or simple relaxation – very important for deep rest.

Do everything slowly and regularly. Morning sunlight, walking, and proper sleep also help thyroid health.

But please don’t practice randomly from videos. Thyroid care needs a balanced routine based on your body, age, and energy level. A trained yoga and meditation coach can guide you safely and help you stay consistent.

I strongly encourage you to learn under guidance instead of practicing alone.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

Ans: At 66, it is good that you are doing yoga regularly. But with BP and vertigo, your practice must be gentle and safe.

First, avoid fast Surya Namaskar and strong push-ups for some time. Sudden bending, fast head movement, and getting up quickly can increase vertigo and BP. Move slowly and with awareness.

You can continue with simple and calm practices:

Neck movements (very slow) – up, down, side to side. Do only within comfort.

Shoulder rotation – gentle circles to reduce tension.

Tadasana (standing tall) – improves balance and posture.

Vajrasana sitting with deep breathing – calms BP.

Anulom Vilom (alternate nostril breathing) – very helpful for BP and mind.

Shavasana – daily relaxation for 10 minutes.

For vertigo, always change position slowly. Keep eyes open when needed. Stay hydrated and do not practice on an empty stomach for long hours.

Most important: do not change your routine on your own. At this age, yoga must be personalized based on BP level and vertigo condition. A trained yoga coach can guide you safely and adjust practices step by step.

Please approach a qualified yoga or meditation coach instead of practicing alone.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

Ans: What you’re noticing is actually a very healthy sign — your child feels safe enough to share excitement with you, but is also beginning to develop a sense of privacy and individuality. That’s a normal and important stage of growing up. Slam books are part of childhood bonding, curiosity, and social connection, and for many children they feel like a “secret world” of friendships. So the goal is not to control it, but to guide it gently.
The most important thing is to keep the tone light and non-judgmental. If you react with worry or restrictions, your child may start hiding things instead of sharing. Instead, show interest. You might say something like, “This looks fun. When I was young, we had things like this too. What do you like most about it?” This keeps the door open for conversation.
Then, slowly introduce the idea of choice and safety. Help your child understand that they never have to answer anything that feels uncomfortable. You can explain in a simple way: “Some questions are just for fun, and some are very personal. It’s okay to skip any question you don’t like or write something simple.” This teaches boundaries without creating fear.
You can also talk about privacy in a practical way. Let them know that once something is written, many people might read it, so it’s better not to share secrets, phone numbers, passwords, or anything they wouldn’t want others to know. Frame this as smart thinking, not as danger.
About crushes and “secrets,” remember that curiosity about feelings is normal. You don’t need to interrogate or correct it. You can say gently, “Everyone grows up having different feelings. You don’t have to put them in a book if you don’t want to.” This reassures them that their inner world is respected.
Another helpful approach is to turn it into a shared activity once, if they’re comfortable. You can fill a page together playfully, showing how to give fun but safe answers. For example, for a “secret” you might write, “I love chocolate” or “I like cartoons.” This models how to keep things light.
Most importantly, keep building emotional safety. Let your child know they can always come to you if something in school makes them confused, pressured, or uncomfortable. When children feel emotionally secure at home, they handle peer pressure much better outside.

Ans: Let’s first look at this with clarity and kindness toward yourself. Attraction is not always about wanting a relationship. Sometimes it comes from admiration, feeling seen, feeling emotionally understood, or being drawn to someone’s confidence, maturity, or presence. In your case, this man is older, emotionally steady, has life experience, and may treat you with warmth and respect. Those qualities can feel very powerful, especially if they are missing or inconsistent elsewhere in your life.
But there are three realities you cannot ignore.
First, he is your boyfriend’s father figure. That creates a permanent emotional and ethical boundary. Crossing it — even emotionally — would cause deep harm, not just to your boyfriend, but to the entire family system. Even if nothing “physical” ever happens, emotional closeness or flirting in this context is already risky.
Second, you are currently in a relationship. If you are emotionally drawn to someone else, especially someone so close to your partner, it’s a sign that something inside you needs attention. Either you are craving more emotional connection, validation, excitement, or security than you’re getting — or you are going through a phase of self-discovery where your needs are shifting. This is not about blaming you; it’s about understanding yourself honestly.
Third, the fact that he has not crossed boundaries and seems to remain appropriate is important. It suggests he understands the responsibility of his role. That’s something to respect, not test.
Right now, the healthiest thing you can do is create emotional distance and clear boundaries. That doesn’t mean being rude. It means no flirting, no special emotional sharing, no seeking private moments. Keep interactions polite, warm, and public. This protects you, your boyfriend, and your future.
You also need to gently turn inward and ask yourself:
What am I really feeling here? Is it attraction, or is it admiration? Is it romance, or is it emotional safety? Is there something missing in my relationship that I’m unconsciously trying to fill?
If you find that your feelings for your boyfriend are weakening, that’s something you owe yourself and him to explore honestly. It doesn’t mean you must break up immediately. It means you need clarity before continuing.
Please understand this: acting on these feelings — even slightly — would almost certainly lead to regret, guilt, and broken trust. What feels exciting now would become very painful later.
You don’t need to “dismiss” your feelings. You need to understand them, respect their message, and then choose wisely what to do with them.
Strong people are not those who never feel tempted. They are those who know when not to act on temptation.

Ans: Yes, yoga can help correct tech-neck and hunched posture. But it needs the right practice, done regularly and correctly.

When we sit with a laptop for 10+ hours, the neck goes forward, shoulders round, and upper back becomes weak. Slowly this becomes a habit in the body. Physiotherapy gives relief, but if posture habits don’t change, pain comes back.

Yoga works differently. It stretches tight chest and shoulder muscles. It strengthens the upper back, neck, and core. It also teaches body awareness. With time, your sitting posture improves naturally. When posture improves, pain reduces and may stay away.

But can yoga fix it permanently? Yes, it can improve a lot and give long-term relief. However, only doing random YouTube stretches may not help. Wrong practice can even increase strain. You need a structured plan: posture correction, strengthening, breathing, and mindful sitting habits during work.

As an IT professional, you need yoga designed for your body and work routine. Small daily corrections and guided practice bring lasting change.

I strongly suggest learning from a qualified yoga or meditation coach instead of practicing alone. Personal guidance makes healing faster and safer.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

Ans: Hi Suresh,

Investing 40k per month for 15 years can easily fetch you 1.9 crores assuming a CAGR of 12%.
You need to follow a proper asset allocation strategy for this with large cap (30%), flexi cap (30%), mid and small caps (20%), balanced funds (20%).
Time is your biggest ally here. Follow the investment consistently for coming 15 years and see the magic of Compounding.

Make sure to rebalance your portfolio annualy and review the investments.

However if you are new to this and have limitied knowledge, you should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Hi Deepak,

It is never too late to start your investment journey for goals like retirement.
A tactful planning can always help you in achieving your goals. Share more details such as your income, expenses, assets, liabilities, saving potential and other financial goals for me to guide you better.

Or you may connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Hi,

To invest 7 lakhs for 5 years with a moderate risk profile, you may follow a diversified investment approach using a mix of hybrid and debt mutual funds.
An allocation breakup of hybrid mutual funds (40%), debt funds (40%) and flexicap (20%) will be good.

Kindly connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Hi Deepak,

It is never too late to start your investment journey for goals like retirement.
A tactful planning can always help you in achieving your goals. Share more details such as your income, expenses, assets, liabilities, saving potential and other financial goals for me to guide you better.

Or you may connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Hi,

You are really doing good at your age. You have saved a substantial amount in your Mfs, stocks and other liquid assets.
You want to buy a rental property in Bengaluru worth 1.6 crores fetching you a monthly rent of 60k. Whilst property prices have surged a lot in past few years there, but with your current financials, you can look forward to buy that property.
- Try and make a down payment of 60 lakhs and a loan of 1 crore making an annual EMI of 80.5k
- Make sure this amount is not more than 30% of your combined monthly take home income. A minimum take home salary of 2.5 lakhs is required.
- Do not take a loan of more than 1 crore from bank as it will add to the monthly burden
- Another point to note here is to have an emergency fund of 6 months worth expenses (including EMIs)
- Liquidating your current investments will attract taxes. Thus do consult an advisor for an efficient planning.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Hi,

Your concern is very valid. People often confuse Gold Jewellery as an investment. But this is not true. Gold Jewellery is ideally a 'store of value' and a luxury item.
But when we say gold investment, we often refer to the more efficient and regulated instruments like SGBs (now discontinued), ETFs and Digital Gold from regulated platforms.

Gold Jewellery is not considered an ideal choice of investment due to the making charges, GST, resale value and storage risk.

To invest in the instrument which gives best returns post tax, one can opt for SGBs or Gold ETFs.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: Hi Radhanath,

To correct the EPF account details and withdraw the money while residing in another country, your relative must submit a
Joint Declaration Form to the EPFO. This process requires coordination with the former employer and submission of supporting documents.
After this details will be corrected in the EPF portal and visible on Member e-Sewa Portal. Post that UAN can be activated and funds can be withdrawn.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Ans: What NOT to Do

Don’t stop SIPs entirely

Don’t redeem midcap/small cap in fear

Don’t add thematic/NFOs now

Don’t increase small cap allocation beyond ~15%

convert of switch one midcap to largecap and small stepup evey year

Ans: You have taken a big and emotional step. Buying a self-use home for your family is always special. With your income level and disciplined savings habit, you have clearly planned before acting. That itself is a positive sign.

Let us evaluate this in a structured way.

» Income vs EMI Position

– Combined salary: Rs. 2.6L per month
– Proposed Home EMI: Rs. 70K
– Existing EMIs: Rs. 17K (car) + Rs. 19K (land)
– Total EMI outgo will be around Rs. 1.06L

This means roughly 40% of your income will go towards loans.

– This is slightly on the higher side but still manageable.
– After one year, car loan will close. That will reduce pressure.
– Main risk is interest rate increase. If rates go up, EMI or tenure will increase.

From a cash flow angle, this decision is not wrong. But it requires discipline.

» Savings and Liquidity Position

You are doing very well here:

– SIP: Rs. 53K
– RD: Rs. 55K
– Monthly expenses: Rs. 30K
– Emergency fund: Around Rs. 2.1L

Concern area:

– Emergency fund is low compared to your commitments.
– After new EMI, your monthly fixed commitments become high.

You should maintain at least 6 months of total expenses including EMIs. With new home loan, that buffer should be stronger. Presently it is insufficient.

Before taking possession:

– Increase emergency fund aggressively.
– Do not depend on stocks as emergency fund because market can fall anytime.

» Use of EPF for Down Payment

Using EPF for self-occupied house is allowed. But remember:

– EPF is long-term retirement money.
– Once withdrawn, compounding stops.
– Your retirement planning gets slightly delayed.

It is not wrong. But now you must compensate by increasing long-term investments later.

» Overall Financial Load

Your current structure:

– 3 loans running
– 2 LIC policies
– Term plans in place (good decision)
– Health insurance in place (very good decision)

I would suggest:

– Review LIC policies carefully. If they are traditional policies with low returns, consider surrendering and reinvesting into mutual funds aligned to long-term goals.
– Insurance and investment should be separate.
– Continue SIPs. Do not stop equity investing because of home purchase.

» Child’s Future Planning

Your child is 3.5 years old. Education cost after 15 years will be very high.

– Home EMI should not disturb education goal investing.
– Continue SIP and gradually increase every year.
– Step-up investing whenever salary increases.

» Stress Test Scenario

Ask yourself:

– What if one income stops for 6 months?
– What if interest rates increase?
– What if medical emergency happens?

If you can handle these situations with savings and insurance, then decision is safe.

» Emotional vs Financial Decision

For self-use home:

– It gives stability.
– It gives emotional comfort.
– It protects you from rent inflation.

Financially, it stretches you moderately but not dangerously. Because your income is strong and expenses are controlled.

» What You Must Do Now

– Build emergency fund to at least 6–8 months of total obligations.
– Close car loan and then partly prepay home loan or increase SIP.
– Increase SIP every year by minimum 10%.
– Review LIC policies and restructure if required.
– Avoid taking any new loan for next 3–4 years.
– Keep lifestyle simple till cash flow stabilises.

» Finally

Your decision is not wrong. It is slightly aggressive but achievable. With your earning capacity and disciplined approach, you can manage this well.

A house becomes a burden only when planning is weak. In your case, planning is visible. Now execution discipline is important.

If you strengthen emergency corpus and continue long-term investments, this dream home can become a strong foundation for your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Hi
If you want Software development & coding jobs, then prefer CS
if you want a data science & analytics type of job, then go for stats.

CS has a higher cutoff than Stats in CUET exam

Ans: Hi
NEET reservations are based on the caste validity of the state where you are claiming domicile, not where the caste certificate was originally issued.
Your domicile is Maharashtra, and in Maharashtra if your caste is NOT recognized as SC you are not eligible to claim SC reservation under Maharashtra state quota.