I am single mother of 12 year old boy and got divorced last year after 7 years of living seperate from my ex husband, I got married in 2010 through matrimonial site and had very toxic and abusive relationship, so I came to my maternal home in 2016 completely. There were many occasions when he approached me and promised to behave properly but failed to do so . He only filed for divorce by making false accusations of being characterless. I gave him divorce and in return I got very less alimony or the amount which was given in cash to them in my marriage. Now I came to know that he remarried and living his life . He is still in contact with my son and sometimes he blame me and my parents for this divorce. My first question is that is he trying to manipulate my son ( he is not bearing any education expenses of my son) And when I ask my son if I can also move on in my life, he refuses and says I don't want to share you with anyone. So I am very confused.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It might be some form of commitment issue- Someone who reciprocates your feelings might create a sense of pressure or demand for emotional closeness.

One more common cause can be the thrill of chasing. You might like to conquer people's love; the chase thrills you. The act of trying to win someone's attention is more exciting than the certainty of someone's love.

Or you might be having avoidant issues, where you pull away as soon as someone shows real emotions.

In any case, ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable when someone shows their emotions to you. Self-reflection can help you solve this puzzle. Also, it is okay to explore connections without wanting to become exclusive partners. That is also a great way of understanding what you want or don't want. You can take small steps like consciously staying in touch with people who are showing interest in you. That does not mean you have to force yourself to commit to them; just don't disappear on them. The best thing would be to seek counseling. It can help you a lot and sort out this issue before it sets in and creates real problems in finding love.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I remember answering your question once. If I am not wrong, I had asked you to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait a little while longer. In case he is still acting the same way, there might be reason to worry. I can't advise you any further without knowing some more details.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me ask you one thing, if you knew a plane was going to crash, would you still get on it because you are worried you will reach your destination late? No, right? Similarly, if you know this marriage could be really tough on you, with the added responsibilities of a teenager and another soon-to-be teenager, do you still want to go ahead with it, just because you might have to stay alone for a while longer?

I can't really make a decision for you, but I can urge you to rethink this alliance. It's great that you are trying to compromise but do not compromise so much that nothing that you want is given any importance. You cannot ask a father to send his child to a hostel so that you can have some privacy; similarly, no one can force you to raise him as well. The best decision would be to either reconsider the relationship or have an open conversation and come to a middle ground that works for all.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Loyalty is not rare in today’s day and age. I am sorry that you didn’t find someone who was to you, but it would be unfair to generalize. Now, coming to the more important point, financial stability is extremely important to maintain a happy marriage or even to have a happy life. Monetary troubles can add unnecessary burdens in life.

If you are unsure about getting married, it's best to wait a little and go forward with it only when you feel ready for such a commitment.

You mentioned you do not want to continue your job- do you plan on starting some other venture? I am a little unclear on this. Moreover, in today's day and age, it is almost essential for both partners to earn to live a decent life.
I hope these will help you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is important for you to need to know her past and you mentioned that you merely want to know, and would not judge. But judging is exactly what you are doing. A lot of people have exes, a lot of people have occasional drinks- we can't judge people based on their past. She has opened up to you and all you are doing is snooping around. To be honest, it seems like you are really more concerned about her ex and past than about how amazing a person she is. I have only one piece of advice, if you think you can't get past her past, let her go. No one deserves to be judged by their past.

And think of it this way- you asked, and she told you. She was not obliged to, but still understanding your 'need' to know 'everything,' she confided in you. And this is how you are paying her back. Moreover, so what if she had an ex, or dated casually? How does that affect you right now? Ask yourself the same question and I think you will know the answer to your own dilemma.

Having said it all, marriage is a big decision. If you think her past can hamper your future, please rethink this relationship. It is best for both of you.

Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand why she is worried- it’s societal expectation and the made up concept of what makes a woman “perfect” and “desirable.” I don’t see how she can be doing “wrong with her future husband.” But I understand where this concern is stemming from; the answer is much more complex than a simple yes or no. For instance, if her future partner wants to know the truth and she decides to lie, it won't be fair. Or if the concept of chastity matters absurdly too much to her future partner, then it won't be fair. Otherwise, to get intimate or not is a very personal choice, and one is not more right than the other. I would suggest avoiding anyone who places an absurd amount of importance on people’s past and the concept of virginity.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Hello;

Utilise NSC and PPF balance to settle outstanding home loan.

Your MF, Stocks and PF holding add upto 1.35 Cr.

You may buy immediate annuity for this corpus(1.35 Cr) from a life insurance company. Assuming 6% annuity rate you may expect a post tax monthly income of around 60 K.

This when added to rental income of 43 K from your real estate assets will led to a comprehensive monthly income of 1 L+.

The rental income can be hiked to adjust for inflation.

You may retain 5-7 L as emergency fund while balance amount of FD may be used to top-up the annuity income in future.

Do buy good health insurance covering yourself and your family.

Also consider making will to ensure smooth transfer of your wealth to your heirs.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

Ans: Your current corpus of Rs. 1.8 crore in mutual funds and Rs. 1 crore in PF is significant. The additional Rs. 2 crore in properties adds to your wealth but doesn’t provide immediate liquidity. Let us evaluate if your corpus will sustain your post-retirement expense of Rs. 2 lakh per month.

Estimating Post-Retirement Corpus Requirement
You plan to retire in 2 years, at age 51.

Assuming a life expectancy of 85 years, the corpus needs to last for 34 years.

An expense of Rs. 2 lakh per month means Rs. 24 lakh annually.

Adjust this amount for inflation to calculate future needs.

Current Investment Contributions
Your Rs. 70,000 monthly SIP builds your corpus over the next 2 years.

SIPs offer rupee cost averaging, reducing market volatility impact.

Assess the fund performance regularly to maximise growth.

Diversification of Investments
Your corpus is spread across mutual funds, PF, and properties.

PF provides a stable, fixed return but lacks flexibility.

Properties offer wealth accumulation but are less liquid for immediate needs.

Mutual funds remain a primary source of liquidity and growth post-retirement.

Evaluating Monthly Withdrawals Post-Retirement
Withdrawals should balance your monthly expenses and ensure corpus longevity.

Avoid withdrawing large amounts in the early years of retirement.

Consider a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for withdrawal strategies.

Role of Inflation and Healthcare Costs
Factor in inflation’s effect on expenses over 30+ years.

A 6% inflation rate doubles your monthly expense in 12 years.

Allocate for increasing healthcare costs with age.

Importance of Emergency and Medical Coverage
Keep at least 6 months' expenses in a liquid fund for emergencies.

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance for unexpected medical costs.

Tax Efficiency in Withdrawals
Equity mutual funds' LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund returns are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Plan withdrawals to minimise tax liability on gains.

Active Funds vs. Direct Funds
Actively managed funds optimise returns by responding to market changes.

Direct funds lack professional support, affecting long-term efficiency.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to select regular funds.

Disadvantages of Relying on Real Estate
Properties are illiquid and may take time to convert to cash.

Rental income may not cover Rs. 2 lakh monthly expenses reliably.

Maintenance and property taxes further reduce returns.

Recommendations for Portfolio Restructuring
Increase Allocation to Growth Assets

Continue SIPs in equity mutual funds for growth potential.

Review funds for consistent performance and portfolio alignment.

Add Balanced and Debt Funds for Stability

Include balanced advantage and debt funds for steady income.

Debt funds reduce overall portfolio risk.

Plan a Withdrawal Strategy

Use the SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for predictable income.

Withdraw from equity funds after 3 years for tax efficiency.

Avoid Over-reliance on PF and Real Estate

PF offers safety but limited returns.

Use properties strategically for potential downsizing or sale.

Final Insights
You are on track to retire comfortably, provided you optimise your investments. Plan your withdrawals carefully, factoring in inflation and tax efficiency. Work with a Certified Financial Planner to refine your portfolio and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: When selecting a mutual fund for SIP among funds with similar types, performances, and risks but different NAVs, consider the following aspects:

1. Net Asset Value (NAV) Does Not Reflect Fund Performance
A lower or higher NAV does not indicate better returns.

NAV reflects the fund's per-unit value and changes daily.

Investment growth depends on percentage returns, not NAV values.

2. Expense Ratio and Fund Costs
A lower expense ratio can improve net returns.

Actively managed funds with skilled fund managers may charge slightly higher fees.

Ensure you evaluate the cost-to-benefit ratio before making a decision.

3. Fund Manager's Track Record
Review the fund manager's expertise and past performances.

A consistent manager with strong market knowledge can add value.

Avoid funds with frequent management changes.

4. Fund House Reputation and AUM
Choose funds from a reputed fund house with a strong track record.

A large Asset Under Management (AUM) ensures better stability and liquidity.

Avoid funds with excessively low AUM, as they may face liquidity issues.

5. Tax Implications of the Fund
Assess how long-term and short-term capital gains will affect returns.

Equity mutual funds have specific tax rates: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Debt funds follow your income tax slab, affecting post-tax returns.

6. Investment Goals and Time Horizon
Align the fund choice with your financial goals.

Longer-term goals may benefit from equity-focused funds.

Short-term goals may require hybrid or debt-focused funds.

7. SIP Benefits in Any NAV
SIPs help average out purchase costs over time, reducing the impact of NAV differences.

Avoid basing decisions solely on NAV, as SIPs work on rupee cost averaging.

8. Focus on Portfolio Composition
Examine the fund's portfolio mix and sector allocation.

Ensure diversification aligns with your risk appetite and goals.

Avoid funds with concentrated exposure to risky sectors.

9. Assess Consistency of Returns
Look at rolling returns and consistency across market cycles.

Funds with stable returns in volatile markets are preferable.

Avoid funds with high volatility in performance.

10. Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds passively track benchmarks, lacking flexibility in volatile markets.

Actively managed funds can outperform by leveraging market opportunities.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide you to suitable active funds.

11. Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Regular funds offer ongoing advice and monitoring by a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD).

Direct funds lack professional support, which is crucial for long-term goals.

Certified Financial Planners provide insights and manage your portfolio efficiently.

Final Insights
Choosing the right mutual fund involves evaluating beyond NAVs. Focus on long-term potential, cost efficiency, and alignment with goals. SIPs, combined with expert advice, will help you achieve financial stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment