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Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 29, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
V Question by V on Nov 29, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Love Guru
We were married very young.
We already have two children.
My husband doesn’t like using contraception, says it feels better without it.
I don’t want to get pregnant again.
Please advise.
Regards,
V

Ans:

Dear V,

While it may ‘feel better without it’, that doesn't mean you behave so irresponsible!

I'd suggest you consult your gynaecologist and get yourself fitted with an IUD to minimise the risk of falling pregnant; or, better yet, since your husband's the one who has the problem with contraception, have him undergo a vasectomy. It's a very small procedure and many men opt for it in today's times.

You went through two pregnancies and gave birth twice; I'd say it's his turn now, wouldn't you?

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my name is madhuri. i am married for almost 8 years but not having children. I am not having sex life with my husband due to his busy work schedule i am suffering a lot due to pressure of having children.my age is 34 years and my husband age is 37 years he is bank employee. he is not interested in having sex with me he says he doesn't like me.i am depressed about it . please give any suggestions to improve our relationship.
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it’s crucial to understand that a relationship thrives on mutual respect, communication, and emotional connection. The fact that your husband is openly expressing disinterest and lack of affection is a serious concern. It’s important to have an honest and open conversation with him about how his words and actions are affecting you. Try to create a safe space where both of you can express your feelings without judgment or blame. This conversation might help uncover underlying issues that are contributing to the distance in your relationship.

Given that he is prioritizing his work and seems detached, it might be helpful to explore whether external factors, such as stress from his job or other personal struggles, are contributing to his behavior. Understanding his perspective could provide insights into why he’s emotionally and physically withdrawn. However, his dismissive attitude towards you is something that needs to be addressed with seriousness and care.

It's equally important to focus on your own emotional well-being. Feeling neglected and pressured can lead to significant emotional distress. Consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist, either individually or as a couple. Therapy can offer a safe environment to explore your feelings, work through the pain, and develop strategies to improve communication and intimacy in your marriage.

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