Hi Love Guru
We were married very young.
We already have two children.
My husband doesn’t like using contraception, says it feels better without it.
I don’t want to get pregnant again.
Please advise.
Regards,
V

Ans:

I would suggest that you consult a gynaecologist, my dear!

I am not qualified to give you medical advice.

Many women get fitted with IUDs as an alternative to birth control pills, but like I said, you need to discuss these options with your doctor.

 

Ans: The decision to procreate or have a child should be a mutual decision between the couple and I don't think any either of the partners can force their decision on the other. However, the owners on when to plan the family and how to plan the family should obviously be on the female partner as she is going to carry the baby. I think it is just appropriate to tell your husband that you have been on the pill. Stop the pill immediately and start trying naturally, which will obviously result in a pregnancy fall as well.

Ans: "I think the compelling reason to have a second child should be to complete your family and provide a sibling for your existing child. At age 38, it is important to be under supervision and undergo appropriate genetic investigations to determine the possibility of abnormalities in the baby. Once these investigations are complete and everything is normal, you can proceed with the pregnancy.

Your reasons for having a baby, such as not being able to find a good maid, fear of tampering, or your daughter's education, don't seem very logical. Instead, it is important to economize your funds and channel them appropriately to be able to generate resources for both your children."

Ans: Move on

Ans: Dear Madhuri,
it’s crucial to understand that a relationship thrives on mutual respect, communication, and emotional connection. The fact that your husband is openly expressing disinterest and lack of affection is a serious concern. It’s important to have an honest and open conversation with him about how his words and actions are affecting you. Try to create a safe space where both of you can express your feelings without judgment or blame. This conversation might help uncover underlying issues that are contributing to the distance in your relationship.

Given that he is prioritizing his work and seems detached, it might be helpful to explore whether external factors, such as stress from his job or other personal struggles, are contributing to his behavior. Understanding his perspective could provide insights into why he’s emotionally and physically withdrawn. However, his dismissive attitude towards you is something that needs to be addressed with seriousness and care.

It's equally important to focus on your own emotional well-being. Feeling neglected and pressured can lead to significant emotional distress. Consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist, either individually or as a couple. Therapy can offer a safe environment to explore your feelings, work through the pain, and develop strategies to improve communication and intimacy in your marriage.

Additionally, it’s vital to find ways to nurture yourself emotionally and physically. Engage in activities that bring you joy, seek support from trusted friends or family members, and consider joining support groups where you can connect with others who might be facing similar challenges. Your well-being is paramount, and finding ways to care for yourself can help build resilience and strength as you navigate these difficulties.

Ultimately, a healthy relationship requires effort and willingness from both partners. If your husband is unwilling to engage or make changes, it may be necessary to reflect on what you want for your future and whether this relationship is meeting your emotional needs. Remember, you deserve love, respect, and fulfillment in your marriage.