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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hi Anu, My husband doesn't do house chores. We both work full-time, but I still end up cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. When I ask for help, my partner will say, ‘Just tell me what to do,’ but then he conveniently forgets. Maybe he doesn't like it or he is genuinely forgetful. I have tried many ways to make him explain. Once I only did my share of laundry to make him realise but he simply ignored. Every week this pattern repeats. Is this normal? How can married couples divide responsibilities fairly to avoid fights?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Every home has a different routine and share of responsibilities. So, there's no standard norm to challenge it as normal or not!
So, if you want your husband to pitch in, then say it in clear terms, especially since he has told you to tell him what to do.
Once you have told him, do make sure to ask him: Will you find it convenient to do it now or later? If later, when?
This will ensure that he makes a statement of commitment, so there's no question of forgetting it, right? Play it smart...it's better than feeling bad about the situation or mulling over why something does not work.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 28, 2022

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Dear Anu, I am a housewife with two kids, younger one is 3 years old. I used to be working before the birth of my second child. I can't join back the job as we are nuclear family and husband is busy whole day with his work. I have to take care of the house and kids almost full day. Sometimes I’m frustrated and irritated. I gave talked about this to my husband but not much respite. He says 'I’m doing my job to earn. You do your job to look after house.' Don't know what to do.
Ans:

Dear PS,

Typical nuclear family with very little family support relies solely on the mother being the caregiver and this can result in a lot of frustrations. Understood!

But what exactly are you trying to do fighting the situation knowing that things might be the same for a few years down the line till the children grow a little older? Are you planning on being frustrated for all these years?

Also, someone needs to give your husband a talk on these gender specific remarks and pushing the job of the home to you.

Maybe he didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but well…

In the digital world, there is enough and more to do to use the skills that a person has. So why not explore, a work-from-home part time option?

Depending on what your expertise is and the time that you can give to the work from home option, why don’t you focus on searching for this?

This will require an amazing time management and organization skills on your part, so you are able to give it at least 3-4 hours a day.

This will not only keep you occupied and financially stronger, it will also give you a sense of direction and purpose which is what is currently lacking.

Also, if you have an option of a ‘nanny’ for even two hours during the day when the children can be kept busy, you can even have some time for yourself which will re-energize you.

Caring for two small children is no mean feat and make sure when you discuss the work-from-home option (If you choose this), with your husband, you emphasize how important it is for you along with managing the home.

The commitment ‘to do something for yourself’ will be the focus of your discussion and please do something before your frustrations start seeping out and get onto the kids which might eventually happen.

First, be happy yourself to nurture your home and family.

Step Up…All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |693 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My husband loves his office more than me. He works long hours and spends his weekends organising trips and lunch dates with colleagues. He is always away from home. Whenever I ask him, he says networking is important to him and this is what keeps him happy. Since he is always away from home, I feel very lonely at home. We hardly get any time together. Is it wrong to expect your partner to spend time with his wife and family? Whenever we have this conversation at home, it leads to arguments. How can I address this correctly?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that these conversations can be tricky to nail. First of all, I am sorry you have to go through this challenging phase. And it is valid to want to spend some quality time with your spouse. An open and direct conversation about the issue is the only way to deal with it. Choose the right time and place to address the issue. Don't bring up the topic as soon as he is back from office. He'd be tired and it would make you look like the bad guy even though the reality is far from it. Find a calm and private setting to discuss your feelings. Use "I statement" to express your feelings. For instance, don't say, "You make me feel lonely because of this time issue." Instead frame it like, "I feel so lonely because of the time issue." This way, he won't feel attacked and won't get defensive. Moreover, don't say, "We never spend time together," because this will be challenged with demands for example. Give concrete examples of instances when you felt neglected or missed out on quality time together. This can help him understand the impact his busy schedule is having on your relationship.

Now these are how you address the issue. There's more to it. You also have to acknowledge his perspective. If he says networking is important, it might hold some truth. Show him that you understand his commitments. This will make the conversation more cooperative than confrontational. Instead of merely complaining, come up with solutions and present them to him. This could include setting aside specific days or hours for family time, planning activities together, or finding compromises that work for both of you. Listen to his side of the story too. Let him express himself.

If none of these seem to improve the matter, I recommend seeing a professional for more structured support. Please understand that there's no shame in seeing a marriage counselor. It does not mean your marriage needs fixing or it's a bad marriage or it's falling apart. It simply means you need a little help to figure out certain arenas of marriage. We all do from time to time. Moreover, A neutral third party, who is trained on this specific subject, can provide better guidance and help facilitate productive communication.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 30, 2024

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Relationship
I am a 37 year old working woman have two kids aged 9 and 5. I am married for 12 years. My husband does not show any interest in house chores and whenever I ask him he will say, hire a maid for everything. I have raised my two kids on my own. We work into IT industry, husband completely works from home. I go to office once or twice month. During Corona, work from home became really stressful. I quit my job thinking that I will focus on kids and house, but that did not make any difference, he started humiliating me for not working. I started considering divorce and looked for a job, soon I got in. At times I feel, that I am too much organised, that's why I am frustrated and stressed out all day long. I mostly have tight timelines, which can't be missed. At times I am too much frustrated and leave home to office so that I can work peacefully there but that's again too tiring. Maids come and leave in hurry cause no one is there to watch them out when I am in office. When I get back home I see that food is kept as it is and kids are hungry because father did not serve them. House also becomes a complete mess with toys, clothes,books lying all around, after coming home I should throw away all food, make the house tidy again and plan for the next day, where as he has complete leisure life, he will get up in the morning, his tea will be ready he will straight go to play badminton, comes back when his meeting is started. His breakfast goes directly to his table. He comes out for his lunch and straight goes to bed for afternoon nap. Again he wakes up for evening meetings. After finishing all this he will go to play tennis. Comes back home for dinner, work a little on his laptop and goes out with friends for a walk, comes back late at night when all are asleep. Seeing this routine I become frustrated now I am planning to move out, Needless to say, we stay in separate rooms, his room is a complete mess all the time
Ans: Dear Pragya,
Congratulations! You have been successful in making a hotel at your home with a perfect and permanent occupant; your husband...
When everything is taken care of right from kids to the food to the cleaning and the organizing and oh, accommodating his game schedules, why would he move a limb? And because he never took interest in caring for the household, you have started to overcompensate and extend your professional skills of organizing and executing back at home. Which spouse would not want that?
You may feel frustrated and drop everything now, BUT there's possibly a way out of this...I say this only because there are children involved in this entire equation and it isn't great for them to live in separate homes. Take a stand; do your part of the work...hire a nanny who can care for the children including their meal times. If this is not possible, call in a female family member to help out for a few weeks. Use those few weeks to pass a strong message to him which is: KEEP YOUR END OF THE DEAL..
No serving him like he is the master...let him walk to the kitchen and take his food or make his juice of whatever.
Initially, there will be a lot of complaints; he will also send you on a guilt trip where you might start to feel bad for his plight. DO NOT RELENT...
Do we not raise children to be respectful humans and respectful citizens? You are doing just that with your husband...he sadly didn't make this transition when he was younger, so you are dealing with it now...Do this as the first step; who knows things might improve and your kids will have a stable home.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My father in law dislikes my cooking. My husband also feels I can learn a thing or two from my mother in law. Honestly, I am not passionate about cooking or household chores. I can make my tea, fold my clothes, keep my room organised. Beyond that I cannot contribute because I also have a day job. I don't like being compared to other women who can cook, clean, do the dishes and also manage their work. This conversation always leads to arguments at home. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Integrate yourself well into the family; showing interest in cooking and actually doing it are two different things. At times, family members just end up testing you through what you do or not do. Showing interest and in fact praising you mother-in-law and actually learning a dish or two the way she makes it isn't going to hurt you or put a dent in your work life. In fact, they will appreciate that you tried and leave you alone.
Going on a tangent to prove that you have a day job and that you don't like to be compared etc leads to unwanted conversations and arguments. But what is it getting you other than putting you on a spotlight where they target you again. Instead take the spotlight off of you by integrating better; they will leave you alone and in fact even support you. Right now, all this nagging is only to gain your attention and you are giving into it...Integrate...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2026Hindi
Money
I’m a 35-year-old salaried professional aiming to build a long-term investment portfolio over the next 10 years, with a monthly investment budget of around Rs 15,000. I'm tempted to buy silver as an investment because silver prices today (Rs 330 per gram) look much more 'affordable' than gold prices today approx 15000 per gram). But I also know that price per gram doesn’t reflect actual returns when comparing silver vs gold investment performance. Is viewing silver as a cheaper investment option a mental trap for small investors, or does investing in silver genuinely offer better upside potential in the long run?
Ans: You are thinking in the right direction. You are questioning the price tag, not getting carried away by it. This itself shows maturity and long-term thinking. Many investors do not pause at this stage. You deserve appreciation for that clarity.

» Price per gram versus wealth creation reality
– Seeing silver at Rs 330 per gram and gold at around Rs 15,000 per gram creates a strong emotional pull
– Our mind feels silver is “cheap” and gold is “expensive”
– This is a mental shortcut, not an investment logic
– Wealth grows by percentage return over time, not by how many grams we can buy
– One gram at Rs 100 that grows slowly can underperform one gram at Rs 10,000 that grows steadily

» Why silver looks attractive but behaves differently
– Silver has a dual role: precious metal and industrial metal
– Industrial demand makes silver prices volatile and cyclical
– When the economy slows, silver demand can fall sharply
– This leads to long periods of price stagnation
– For a salaried professional with monthly investing, such swings can test patience

» Gold and silver are not growth assets
– Both gold and silver do not create earnings or cash flow
– Their value depends mainly on demand, inflation fear, and currency movement
– Over long periods, they protect purchasing power but rarely multiply wealth
– Expecting strong upside from silver over 10 years is usually unrealistic
– This is especially true when the goal is disciplined monthly investing

» Is silver a mental trap for small investors
– Yes, for many investors it is
– “I can buy more grams” gives psychological comfort
– But comfort does not equal better returns
– Silver often underperforms expectations when held for long durations
– Storage cost, purity issues, and liquidity challenges further reduce actual benefit

» Does silver have any role at all
– Silver can be used as a small diversification tool
– It should never be the core of a long-term portfolio
– Allocation should be limited and purpose-driven
– Treat it as a hedge, not a growth engine
– Overexposure can slow overall portfolio progress

» Better alignment with your 10-year goal
– At age 35, your biggest strength is time
– Regular monthly investing suits growth-oriented assets
– Actively managed equity mutual funds suit this phase well
– Active fund managers can adapt to market changes and protect downside
– This flexibility matters more than metal price movements

» Why market-linked metal products are not ideal substitutes
– They closely track metal prices without adding value
– No active decision-making or downside control
– Returns depend only on price cycles
– This makes long-term compounding weak
– Actively managed funds aim to grow wealth, not just track prices

» Risk, emotion, and discipline
– Silver prices can move sharply up and down
– Such movement can tempt investors to time the market
– Timing mistakes hurt long-term results
– Simple, steady investing works better than reacting to metal prices
– Discipline matters more than affordability

» Tax and liquidity awareness
– Physical silver has making charges and selling spreads
– Tax treatment can reduce post-tax returns
– Liquidity is not always smooth during urgent needs
– These frictions are often ignored at the buying stage

» 360-degree portfolio thinking
– Your Rs 15,000 monthly budget is a powerful habit
– Focus on assets that reward time and consistency
– Use metals only as support, not as drivers
– Growth assets should do the heavy lifting
– Review allocation periodically with a Certified Financial Planner

» Final Insights
– Silver looking affordable is largely a mental illusion
– Long-term wealth is built by return quality, not unit price
– Silver does not offer reliable long-term upside for salaried investors
– Limited exposure is fine, dependency is not
– Staying focused on growth-oriented investing will serve your 10-year goal far better

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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