Hi my age is 47 married my wife and daughter are living seperately and they are live at her mother place from beginning the problem is that my dad is money minded person he gets upset when money is spend for betterment and my mother wants to leave free life all of sudden she blames me and my father for bad life I literally had a argument with her on the basis that if I am going through some mental stress in work, personal life, family problems than with whom shall I share she says not to discuss anything with her the fact is I am in dilemma what to do I have minimum source of income,PL,CC bills and other responsibility I am in dilemma what to do I need a break which I am not able to do pls give me some solution to overcome all this issues.

I have been married for a little more than five years and I am living under tremendous stress and depression. We live in a joint family with my parents and an unmarried brother. I had told her all this before marriage. She loves me very much but her attitude towards my relatives has been a matter of concern right from the start. She does not want to keep a relationship with anybody apart from my immediate family. Slowly, she started having problems with my mother also; both have started having minor clashes at home. Many times, it is my mother’s mistake. The main problem is that she is very nagging and complains and gets irritated very frequently at the smallest instance. Frustrated, I planned on separating with her but the news came of her pregnancy and we were blessed with a baby girl. After the baby was born, my wife’s frustration and irritation has increased manifold because of her fear that my mother will give much more love to the baby then she can. So their clashes have increased. Now my wife has been putting a lot of pressure on me to look for a new house away from my parents, since she wants her own space. I already have a home loan on the existing home and a car loan. There is very less scope for me to purchase a new home and I don't want to leave my parents. She just doesn't understand my position and clashes happen between us. Looking at all this, I desperately want to separate from her but can't do so because of our daughter. I love her the most and can't live without her. So I just endure what is happening every day. This has resulted in me slipping into depression. It has affected my work in office as well. I am not performing well, I don't like to speak with any of my friends or relatives, I don't feel like doing anything. I’m living for the sake of my daughter, that's it. Even my parents are not in a position to understand me and my situation so I can't talk to them either. Can you help? Just don’t publish my name.

Hi Anu, I am Mr R. Recently I came to read about the life situations many are facing and saw you are helping them. Am also in a situation like that. I am a single child to my parents.I had a fair childhood till I reached my 8th std. From that point (I don't know why and how) my father changed completely. He started quarrelling with my mom about small things and things worsened. I have seen my mom crying all day. I didn't know what to do at that time. I felt lonely, alone, frustrated.In my 11th grade, my father and mom decided to get separated. Father decided to sell our house but we had much debt in the bank as my mom had taken loans to build a new house. Later my father told her to sign in the divorce paper so that he could sell the house and give us the money to clear bank dues.He sold the house for a huge amount but gave us a small portion of it, which was not enough to clear the dues. Mom fainted in the government office when he told that he won't give us a single penny. In family court I have seen mom crying in front of the judge when he asked whether she wants to continue with my father or get divorced. She did not have an option, but to tell the court judge she wanted a divorce.From that day, I cared for my mom more than ever, more than my life. I couldn't even think of anyone telling me bad about my mom. We moved to a rented house and stayed in rented houses for about more than 15 years.My mom is 59 and will soon retire. She wants me to get married before her retirement. So I told her ok.Things change here.... This is my situation now and I need help.... I wrote about my past life above because I want Anu mam to know why am writing this mail to you....I was 28 when my mom wanted me to get married. But I was not ready for it. I wanted a girl who would love my mom more than I did. I wasn’t sure if a girl from a matrimonial site would be able to love my mom.However, one day my mom said she had found a good girl for me from a matrimony site and showed me the photo. She was from a rural area. We lived in the city. I asked my mom if will be a good match. She’d spoken to the girl’s family members and felt they were good. We decided to go and see the girl. When we went to her house, she was very polite and well behaved with my mom. I felt like I was about to start a new chapter in life. That it will be a good beginning. But it wasn't.Six months after marriage her attitude towards my mother was very rude sometimes. I felt bad but ignored. As days passed, she started debating with my mom for silly matters.1. The first quarrel was regarding the name of a fish. We bought some fish in home... My mom said this fish name is xxxx.... My wife told the fish name is xx and they started debating2. As am from Kerala, my mom had prayed that she will do my thulabharam if I get married before her retirement. In the temple my wife was meant to stand next to me during the ritual. However, when I searched for my wife she was standing far away. My heart broke. I began to worry if my life will also turn to be like my parents'.3. Two months after my marriage I heard that my father had committed suicide. I went to the temple to complete his last rites. As per the ritual, when I return home, my wife is supposed to prepare a sadhya (a full meal). But she fought with me for some silly matter and went to sleep without eating anything. She hadn’t cooked anything that day. My mother begged her to have food but she didn’t relent.She’d quarrel on all festive occasions be it Onam or Diwali. I didn’t tell anyone about it. When things get tense at home, she’d pretend to be ill and short of breath. One day I informed her brother. What he told shocked me. He told me to ignore her saying she must be pretending. I am worried that if something happens to her, I’d be blamed for it. With this fear, my mom and I are tolerating her.After 2 years of marriage, she became pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl. One day I saw my mom crying. When I asked her, she said that whenever my mother takes my baby in her hand my wife comes and grabs the baby away.One day I closely monitored the situation. I saw her grabbing my baby from my mother when my mom took her. I asked my wife, what's wrong and scolded her. The situation got worsened and she gave a silly answer.... She told me, she is worried about whether my baby will fall down from my mother's hand..... I informed her family and they gave her some advice and told her she need some doctor consulting regarding this.... While talking to their family I realised that she was like this before marriage as well.After the advice, for a few days, things were calm. Later, she started again. She'd stare at my mom whenever she'd give any advice.She is negative in all ways. Now her dad and mom have stopped calling me. Today while writing this e-mail she’d scolded my mom for recording my baby’s video saying my mom will send it to everyone. My baby was wearing a top and diaper nappy. When I asked her why she is behaving like this to mom, she said that my mom is not good to her. I cannot explain each and every quarrel but the reasons are quite silly. What should I do? After my father's issues, I thought my life after marriage will be good but it’s proving to be wrong.Waiting for an answer.

Dear sir i am 51 yr old ,i had a very tough life,i was bright and honest student..i got adhoc lecturer ship which i have to left as it was adhoc only i like my profession but i had to left ..than i join with help of my friend sales which i don't like but to earn i did and rose to higher management level...my married elder brother was having depression,i left the parental home to help him ,my parents were both retired govt employees getting good pension...i struggled to make both ends meet..later on my parents get medical trouble still my wife took care of them at my house.. I left the job in 2010 me and my friends who bring me job started the business but he ditched me the first day on business i take courage and continued the business... Meanwhile my parents refused yo help....after 3 yr of my business my parents come to help them as my mother has to do 3 month complete bed rest ,me and my wife helped them after that they come for 2 -3 months in a year for 5 years but after that my mother starts querlling with my wife ,i stoped their coming but told i will help them they need..i helped them during covid ,and other medical problems ,in 2021 my father passed away in i met an car accident my mother refused to give registery of copy in cour yo get bail..i stopped my all relation on this ...my daughter went to canada in sep 2021..i took 7 lacs loan and rest i paid from my savings ..this month her course was supposed to finish but what i realize that she failed in 13 exams..she told me first time than i told her to not worry i concentrate for future one but she lied and failed in other one also what she disclosed now,i have to pay further 10 lacs..my business is alo down and my son is not selected my medical field business,i have to collect aprx 40 lacs from market ,i tried hard for tie up overtake or job at this age but kot getting...it is become hard to run business with no family member in same business in future and tonpay to daughter ..i am gojng to shut it down in next month and do something else...with low cost business as i have to pay monthly salaries and rent of aprox 2.5 lac...i am in big trouble...No one to help me out..i never tried my 0mother brother sister whom i helped in their every cause...i knew they will not help as they not helped me in all my troubles...

Dear Madam, i am 49 and married with 2 kids (10th standard and 8th standard), my problem started we move to india and settled near my mother/sister-law and there is lot influence things happened alast 2 year and also i have drinking habit which i have overcome by attenting rehibition, but last 8 month i am staying with mother house due my health and now i ok, but every time last 3 months i asking my wife can we staying together but no proper answer and she away most of time on spiritualty, even i allow her go but she is not inform were about even after 20 phone call that triggers me and i drink and make my life diffocult myself, recently i have asked move alone with me and kids but again blaming for all the past thing, due to this i have flight my parents and brother which not keep peace to them....i am really confused and what stage they will expect me i know sure..please let me know any suggestion