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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am eldest among my siblings and my father was not a family man. He never felt responsible for family. I studied, got job , married two sisters entirety out of my money. I entirety funded my younger brother studies and gave money monthly till he got job at 30 years of age. But after he got job, behavior of family started changing. I never expected anything in return, whatever I did for my family was out of feeling of responsibility. I felt cheated at the end because even my mother behavior changed after my brother got job. Now I don't feel attached to my family. How to handle this as now I don't want to be used.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Commendable!
You have done all that you could for your family...now STOP...
It's time to live your life on your terms. Enjoy this phase as one when people are leaving you alone to find yourself, find what you love and what you wish to do. So, do just that!
Someday your family will come to their senses and integrate with you again. Till then, take time off for yourself without the responsibilities of anyone on you. Make the best of what IS...

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 42 years now. I am an elder son in my family, then my sister and two younger brothers. My father was a clerk in state govt. office. Being an elder son I did all my duties at par with my father. I spent my entire 9 years’ salary on my family, it includes sister marriage, brothers education (Engineering/Polytechnic), their coaching for competitive exams, books other monthly expenses. Under my guidance they both got job. I also performed co-applicant to Education loan to one of my brother. But now my father, mother and brothers betrayed (Beyimaan). Because my younger brother’s wife was selected in state govt. job and my wife is not employed. They kicked off us from their house. All it happens like TV serial. Now my wife also get job in central government under my guidance. My family member also did same with my younger brother and kicked - off them also. Now they ask me to live with them. I am very much in stress. I want to totally detach with my family. I want to close my all relationships with them. I also don’t want my father’s property. But every now and then they call me. They never help me. We live in same city. Please help me out. I don’t want to be part of B. P. and Sugar patient. I want to be a Vinod Khanna dialogue Parva Nahi from film Dayavan.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Time for you to do things for yourself! It may seem selfish at the beginning but taking care of yourself and your needs is self-care above everything else...
For once put your needs before everyone else's and resist any sort of manipulation from family. Serving themselves was their agenda at your expense; why still allow it?
Firmly refuse moving in with them as it won't take them long before they kick you out when things are not in their favour. You have the ability to be by yourself and support yourself...maintaining a healthy distance in fact helps relationships grow stronger. So, time for you to be kind to yourself...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |644 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 27 year old female eldest in family, I was brought up by my grandparents and parents who always told me I need to be good at studies get a job earn well. I did whatever was asked I taught myself to be 'good girl'. But my siblings rebelled and they don't do anything listen to elders and still get away with everything, but they get treated the same way, they get same affection, all their demands are met, while I was their age I was made to earn whatever I wished for and even constantly told no. Now my whole life feels pointless, since all the principles I was taught made my life miserable and I feel like loser. I am not able to appreciate life. Nothing makes me happy, I don't feel like doing anything, whatever I do feels like a chore that I am doing for others. I just wish I die so that I don't have to keep living like this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but it's important to remember that you're not alone in experiencing these feelings. Many people go through similar struggles, and it can be helpful to talk about your emotions and seek support. Here are some steps you can consider:

Talk to a Therapist or Counselor: Speaking to a mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial. They can help you explore your feelings, provide guidance on coping strategies, and assist you in finding a sense of purpose and happiness.
Express Your Feelings: Don't keep your feelings bottled up. Share your concerns and frustrations with trusted friends or family members who may be understanding and supportive.
Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on your own desires and what truly makes you happy. It's essential to prioritize your own needs and goals, rather than solely conforming to the expectations of others.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that everyone's path in life is different. Comparing yourself to your siblings or anyone else can lead to unnecessary stress and unhappiness. Focus on your own journey.
Seek New Experiences: Sometimes trying new things and stepping outside your comfort zone can help you discover what brings you joy and fulfillment. This could involve pursuing new hobbies, interests, or career opportunities.
Practice Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Engage in activities that bring you peace and relaxation, such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature.
Find Your Passion: Discover what truly excites you and gives you a sense of purpose. It might involve exploring different career paths or pursuing further education in a field you're passionate about.
Set Small Goals: Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps. Achieving these smaller milestones can give you a sense of accomplishment and motivation.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Challenge and reframe negative thoughts. Cognitive-behavioral techniques can help you change your perspective on life and your own worth.
Seek Support Groups: Consider joining support groups or communities where you can connect with others who may be going through similar experiences. Sharing your journey with others can be empowering.
Remember that it's okay to seek help and take the time you need to find your path to happiness. Your life is not defined solely by the expectations placed on you in the past, and you have the power to shape your own future.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 25 YO, I've completed my medical degree in BAMS recently and brother is 17YO still in school. I've seen very severe favouritism of my parents towards my brother. I know he's a boy and all and in India, being a boy makes all of your wrong doings right! It's very emotionally distressing for me that even I'm the older child, my parents asks and discuss things with my younger brother but not me :( since the time he was born, I've always been neglected, I used to be a star kid, the getting 10/10 marks in everything. But eventually my self esteem degraded, and I stopped working hard, they have always pointed me out for my looks and my behavior, which was very hurtful. I've been away from my family for 5 years and it literally changed me, I was not depressed anymore, although my self esteem also affected my academic performance and my relationship choices, but somewhat I was happy. But now I'm home, and again, my parents points out my mistakes, my academic that I didn't get MBBS, that I don't even look good, and I'm crazy, I don't even have brains. And my brother who didn't even score 50% is asked and being discussed over everything what to eat, where to go, what car to buy, what TV to buy etc. I feel so sad and stuck here. I feel like for my father and mother, I'm invisible. Everyday I feel like when this life will end. It's even harming my studies. All I do is day dream about being loved by someone. I just want to focus on me and my studies. But I'm not able to do it.What can I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there's evident distinction in the way that your parents treat you and your brother, then it's pretty unfortunate.
One way is to actually talk to them about it and tell them how you feel, but I am unsure if this is going to work. The other way is to reassure yourself with your own self-love and be happy that you are academically strong. Use your degree wisely and to make a mark on your own by serving the society in your own way.
Someday, your parents may realize this and pay attention to you. But if you feel that things are going well for you emotionally, I suggest that you work with a professional who can guide you and your energies back into yourself without relying on anyone. This will help you tide over the hurt and the pain and move into a space of confidence.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear madam I have this suitaution in my life. Plz do guide me with this. So i have 2 married sisters and a brother with who i dont get along well. We used to be close back then. Later on my father passed away and then i got busy searching work. After getting work i got carried away with my newly found friendship with a boy i started spending much on him rather then my family. But still then i never neglected my family every kind of help i tried to give them. In the meanwhile i used to take care of my bedridden grandmother who used to stay in another state. Then my second sister started feeding everyone's mind against me saying i dont help them with money and i spend most on my grandmother and cousin. Though my sister were earning well still they waited me to spend on them which i stopped by then as they were earning. And there used to be a real good fight with my sisters and me regarding money issue and als my marriage thing and i gave them bitter words and also curses which i regret to this day thinking how could i do hated thing to my family .In next few years my sister got married but my second sister never invited me for her marriage and did all her wedding plans in my absence and i als never attended her wedding. I attended my 3rd sister wedding. After that my second sister plotted a plan against me by taking everyone on her side and kept me out of all the family functions. I just ignored them and decided to never to get bothered by any of this. Now the problem my 3rd sister is pregnant and they have planned a babyshower and like they are just telling me to attend it. To be honest they just told me a day before the function. How to handle this. Should i attend? And how to deal with such kind of people they seem to take advantage of my helpless. Please guide me on how to become a strong girl while taking desicion.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Learn the skill of staying away from all this drama. If you felt secure with who you are, you wouldn't think much whether you got invited or not. Do remember, people will be on your side sometimes and not on your side at other times. This goes for friends are family; so learn to be comfortable with that...
What you did for your grandmother is a choice that you made; why expect anything in return?
Life lived with least expectations is certainly a happier life...counting what people did or didn't do will take away your peace!
Real strength is not in fighting it out but knowing when to walk away from constant drama.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10848 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 17, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, What is the best % of SWP one can think of from Portfolio value. I am retired now and have say 1 Cr as MF and Share portfolio. I want to go for 40000 SWP per month thereby making 4.8% as SWP. If this is good to have this for 15 yrs
Ans: Your question shows great care for your financial future. Many retirees ignore this step. You have already taken a wise move. You want steady income. You want safety. You want long life for your money. These are very important points. I truly appreciate your clarity.

» Understanding your present plan
Your idea is simple. You have Rs 1 crore. You want Rs 40000 each month. This means Rs 4.8 lakh each year. That is 4.8 percent of your money. This is not very high. This is not very low. It sits in the middle range. Many retirees try for 7 or 8 percent. That can put pressure on the portfolio. Your 4.8 percent is more reasonable. It supports discipline. It keeps stress low.

Your idea is for 15 years. That is a good time frame. It gives space for your funds to grow. It gives time for market cycles. It also gives time for inflation adjustments.

» Why withdrawal rate matters
Your SWP rate decides how long your money will last. A high rate can drain funds soon. A very low rate may not support your monthly needs. Your 4.8 percent sits well. It balances life needs and portfolio health.

When you draw money from a mixed portfolio, the growth side helps refill your withdrawn money. The stability side helps reduce fall during bad years. This mix helps the SWP stay steady.

» Why a proper structure is important
A SWP is not only a monthly withdrawal. It is a full system. The system needs planning. It needs regular reviews. It needs a clear asset split. It needs a cushion for weak market years.

If you set this structure well now, your SWP can stay safe. Your money can stretch for many years. You can keep peace of mind.

» The importance of a balanced mix
Your portfolio may hold equity funds, hybrid funds, and debt funds. A clear mix reduces risk. It gives smooth cash flow. Equity gives growth. Debt gives steady flow. Hybrid gives balance.

Because you want monthly income for 15 years, you need a balance that supports steady SWP. A pure equity plan can shake too much. A pure debt plan may not grow at a good pace. A balanced mix is ideal.

» Equity funds need careful use
Some investors put large money in equity for SWP. This can work in strong markets. This can fail in weak markets. Your SWP must survive both market moods. That is why pure equity for SWP is not safe.

Also, you should prefer actively managed funds over index funds for long SWP. Index funds follow the index blindly. They do not manage risk actively. They cannot adjust to market cycles. Actively managed funds have a professional fund manager. A skilled manager helps in limiting risk in low years. This helps protect principal in SWP years. This support is not present in index funds.

» Debt funds form the stabiliser
Debt funds bring peace to the portfolio. They help during bad market years. They help the SWP stay steady. Because debt funds follow market rates, they work as the anchor. For SWP, this anchor is very helpful.

If you use direct debt funds, you must remember that direct funds need more tracking. They need active reviews by you. Many retired investors find this hard. Regular plans taken through a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP skill provide guidance. Regular plans also give handholding. This handholding helps avoid wrong exits.

» How to view your Rs 40000 monthly need
You may need some money for basic needs. You may need some money for health care. You may need some money for family support. You may need some money for personal comfort. Rs 40000 per month seems a balanced number.

It does not put too much pressure on the money. It is not a very heavy load. It fits well with a Rs 1 crore fund.

» Inflation needs attention
Inflation will rise. Costs will rise. Your need will rise. Your SWP should rise slowly over time. You cannot fix your SWP for 15 years at one number. That may reduce your buying power.

A small rise every two or three years will help you beat inflation. This rise must be slow. It must match your portfolio growth.

» Risk of sharp market falls
Sharp falls can disturb SWP. A sudden big drop in equity value can pull down your portfolio. This may cause you to withdraw when market is low. That is not good. To fix this, you need enough stability in your mix.

A proper allocation in debt funds and hybrid funds can reduce this issue. You will get smoother cash flow. You will not have to worry about market news every day.

» Role of emergency money
Please keep an emergency amount. Keep this aside. Do not include it in your SWP plan. You may need money for urgent health needs. You may need money for home needs. Emergency funds help you avoid sudden selling.

A good emergency fund gives peace. It protects your SWP from sudden shocks.

» Tax rules for withdrawals
Every SWP withdrawal may include some gains. Tax will apply based on the type of fund and the gain period. This tax can have impact on net flow. You must plan for this in your withdrawal design.

Equity fund rules:

Gains under one year are short-term. These are taxed at 20 percent.

Gains above one year are long-term. Long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5 percent.

Debt fund rules:

Both short-term and long-term gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

This tax part should not scare you. A proper plan can reduce the tax burden. A planned SWP can help you manage gains carefully.

» Why a Certified Financial Planner helps
You may handle small things by yourself. But retirement planning is delicate. One wrong move can disturb the whole plan. A Certified Financial Planner gives a clear road map. He helps you set the best mix. He reviews the plan every year. He adjusts the plan for market and life events.

This guidance is very useful in SWP because SWP needs discipline.

» Why not consider real estate
Some retirees think of using real estate for income. But real estate needs heavy work. It needs tenant work. It needs repair work. It needs legal care. It gives lumpy income. It gives no steady flow. So it is not fit for SWP planning.

Your present goal is steady income. Real estate will not give this.

» Why not consider annuities
Annuities give fixed income. But they lock your money. They give low returns. They do not beat inflation well. They reduce flexibility. For these reasons, they are not ideal for your long-term income.

Your idea of SWP with balanced mix is better.

» Keeping your portfolio healthy for 15 years
To keep your portfolio safe for 15 years, you must follow some habits:

Review every year with a Certified Financial Planner.

Adjust asset mix if needed.

Increase SWP amount slowly.

Reduce SWP for one or two years if markets fall very deep.

Protect your money from emotional moves.

Keep a two-year buffer in a low-risk fund.

Keep your growth part running for long.

These habits help your money last for the full 15-year horizon.

» Regular review helps you adapt
Markets will change. Your health may change. Your needs may change. A yearly review will help align your plan. It will help spot issues early. It will help guide the next year’s SWP.

Without reviews, even good plans can fail.

» Why a two-year cushion helps
A cushion fund is a simple idea. Keep two years of SWP in a low-risk debt fund. This money helps you draw income even in bad market years. You will not need to sell equity in weak phases. This protects your overall money. This makes your SWP more stable.

This cushion fund is an extra shield. It supports your 15-year income plan.

» Role of diversification
Your SWP works best when your portfolio is spread well. A spread can include:

Actively managed equity funds.

Hybrid funds.

Debt funds.

This spread reduces risk. It gives smoothness. It supports long-term income.

Avoid using too many funds. Keep it simple. A small number of quality funds is better.

» How your 4.8 percent looks in practice
A 4.8 percent withdrawal rate is comfortable for a 15-year horizon. If you follow discipline, your money will not face heavy pressure. If your portfolio grows at a steady pace, your principal will not erode fast. Even if growth shifts between years, the mixed structure will protect you.

Your plan is workable. It is sensible. It is future-friendly.

» Mistakes to avoid
Here are some mistakes you should avoid:

Do not chase high-return funds.

Do not raise SWP sharply in one year.

Do not keep too much money in equity.

Do not stop reviews.

Do not shift funds often without reason.

Do not look at direct plans if you prefer guidance.

These mistakes can disturb your portfolio health. Your SWP may suffer.

» Why not use direct funds if you need support
Direct plans give lower cost. But they give no guidance. Retired investors often need guidance. They need reviews. They need discipline. A regular plan through a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP skill gives support. It prevents panic reactions. This support is valuable in low market years.

» Healthy mindset for SWP
Try to see your SWP as a long journey. It needs calm mind. It needs steady steps. It needs slow corrections. It needs patience. If you stay steady, your SWP will stay healthy. You will enjoy peace.

» Practical steps you can start now
You may start with these steps:

Set clear needs for each year.

Fix a proper asset split.

Create a cushion fund for two years.

Start SWP from a low-risk fund or hybrid fund.

Keep equity for growth.

Add small hikes in SWP every few years.

This system supports long-term income.

» How your plan supports a joyful retired life
Your plan helps you live with comfort. It gives predictable cash flow. It gives you freedom from worry. It gives you clarity. You can focus on health, family, and peace. You do not need to watch markets each day.

Your retirement life becomes balanced.

» Final Insights
Your idea of taking Rs 40000 per month from a Rs 1 crore portfolio at 4.8 percent is workable. It fits well for a 15-year horizon. It supports your income. It protects your money if you set a balanced mix. You must follow steady reviews. You must keep a small cushion. You must avoid risky moves.

With these practices, your SWP plan can stay healthy for many years. Your future can stay peaceful and steady. You have already taken the right first step. Your clarity gives your plan strong power.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |2567 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Nov 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 17, 2025Hindi
Career
Is it worthwhile being an mbbs only doctor in India or is pg necessary as somebody who cannot toil 24-36 hours (as is the case with hospital duties) and is not well adequate for working under somebody and then do you still have to study after mbbs to level up or will you be contented with just mbbs. Pls don't answer objectively i really need to see the real picture
Ans: Hi Dr.
Recently, I've seen many different comments on social media suggesting that finding a job after completing an MBBS is very difficult, with some graduates even working as delivery boys.

I believe MBBS is one of the few courses that allows for immediate entrepreneurship after graduation, while other fields often require additional support to start a business. Many medical shop owners are willing to provide a small space for consultations, which is not typically an option for graduates in other disciplines.

If you are financially constrained, it may be wise to stop after completing your MBBS degree for the time being. However, pursuing a postgraduate degree (PG) significantly increases your opportunities, including potential roles in the pharmaceutical industry. Without a PG, your options may be limited. It's akin to the difference between a normal grocery store and a supermarket: completing a PG can lead to positions in corporate medical hospitals.

Initially, you might consider working at a smaller practice or in the government sector before pursuing higher education. While having an MBBS degree allows you to offer consultations, having a PG provides you with more credibility and knowledge. Understand your strengths and weaknesses, and don’t worry about others—proceed based on your own abilities and circumstances.
BEST WISHES.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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