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Shalini Singh |142 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi

I am a second year student (male), till now in my life i never been i any relationships actually to say i never attracted to anyone, but during the college i met a girl, we started talking, one day while texting she told me that "I heard something I want to ask u.. Something like u likee me?" after that with some fear or i don't know what to say that feeling but I had told her that yes. but then she told we can be only normal friends not to expect more than that. i dont know what to say but i told ok. then even after that we had talk but now a days it reached a point with no replies on chat. i have tried to move on, then suddenly i miss her. as she was my first girl (not even into relationship) that i had some feelings.

Ans: She was nothing but a friend who you may have liked or been attracted to you - it was one way - the sooner you accept this, you will stop missing her. She would have been your 'girl friend' if she reciprocated similar feelings. Hope this helps.

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Anu Krishna |1435 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Question by A - Sep 20, 2021Hindi

Dear Anu It's been 3 years since I had my break up with my girlfriend. We parted our ways on good terms but till date I miss her. Every time I feel like I should text her or call her but I don't I just divert myself. From past three weeks this thing is increasing I don't know what to do should I contact her or not. And I can't discuss this thing with anyone I never told my friends about this relationship and I don't want to. Please help me out ma'am tell me what should I do .

Ans: Dear Anonymous, you can do one of two things. Either call her/text her and know what she feels about your relationship and whether she considers it as one.

If she does, see how both of you can rebuild it.

If she has moved on, then it’s obvious to move on as well. Easier said than done, I know.

But if you weigh what you lose by being in a zone of misery and anxiety versus what you can do and be when you move on, I guess it’s obvious what you must choose for yourself.

Start with initially distracting yourself from the phone into things that matter.

Do simple things; any repair in the house that you have put off or any course that you have been procrastinating about.

This is the time to start deeply focusing into something that will give you a sense of achievement that will enable you to have a better feeling from within.

Slowly, start to increase the level of difficulty of these tasks and soon, though you might still remember her, it will not be through pain or anguish but more a good memory.

Start now and always make sure you are surrounded by friends who pull you when you feel that ‘down’ moment.

Do remember, there was a reason why the two of you parted.

Honour and respect that reason and move on if that’s what is necessary for your peace of mind.

My best wishes to you!

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Love Guru |204 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 07, 2022

Question by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2022Hindi

Dear love guru, Hope u are doing well. This story starts in 2018 when I was in my 12th. I had a huge crush on this junior girl. This girl is very intelligent and she used to get very high marks. So I took that as an inspiration and started working very hard on my academics. I started to read like a maniac and that worked and I got seat in a very prestigious college hoping she would get the seat in the same college but unfortunately she got seat in other state. I was disappointed. I was shy and never talked to her in my 12th and thought I lost my chance of talking to her ever again. But fortunately after a year, I found her insta and mustered my courage to chat with her. Although it was awkward initially, we became good friends (I guess so) and used to chat almost daily. She is really a charmer and she chats so nicely. She is a great friend but I never had courage to say about my feelings. She used to talk about her friends, her new college and her cats and so many things about herself and as I am her senior, I used to guide her and talk about my daily experiences. We had great time talking to each other on insta, WhatsApp and even snapchat. Heck we have a Spotify playlist Collab and she even included me in her private Instagram account as a close friend (u know that girls do have spam accounts for close friends) and I was wondering whether I'm just another friend or close friend or anything more.  This continued like for many months and we chatted very well in the lockdown. I never met her or called her, we just chatted( I'm a shy guy and not so good at talking to girls). Feelings aside, she became a really good friend to me and I don't have many friends. I never said her about my feelings, fearing it would destroy this great friendship I was having. But recently she was not responding properly to my chats( I never misbehaved in the chat ). I do believe she is seeing a guy whom she met recently but I don't know whether that is a relationship or just friendship. I was disappointed but hey it's her life and I was u know just continuing my life feeling sad sometimes or just trying to forget about her. And recently she completely avoided my messages and I was so hurt(I do have some self-respect right). U could say this as a one side love story. But this is so hard. After all she is my first love and this started affecting my academics. Should I move on or should I just continue trying to talk to her so that hopefully she will talk to me like she used to before. I don't have any problem continuing but sometimes I feel what's the purpose since it is going nowhere.  Please give me any valuable suggestion. Sorry for the long story Thank you 

Ans:

You've enjoyed a mainly online relationship; there's a lot more to things than that.

There is definitely a reason why she's not responding to your messages anymore and it could be anything -- maybe you came on too strong, maybe she's met someone else, maybe her new boyfriend is from the Stone Age and doesn't like her interacting with other male friends.

I would suggest writing her one last message to the effect that you miss your friend, you don't know why she has begun avoiding you and, at the very least, if she wants to discontinue contact she should have the courtesy of letting you know that, along with the reason why.

See if she responds.

If she doesn't, take that as a very strong and clear signal in itself that she wants nothing to do with you anymore and doesn't have manners either. In which case I would strongly suggest you cease all contact as well.

If she does show some courtesy and reply, see if what she has to say can be addressed.

And all things considered, don't be too heartbroken about this. There are many great girls out there for you to start anew with -- in person perhaps, this time around!

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