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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1497 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
A Question by A on Sep 20, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu It's been 3 years since I had my break up with my girlfriend.

We parted our ways on good terms but till date I miss her. Every time I feel like I should text her or call her but I don't I just divert myself.

From past three weeks this thing is increasing I don't know what to do should I contact her or not.

And I can't discuss this thing with anyone I never told my friends about this relationship and I don't want to.

Please help me out ma'am tell me what should I do .

Ans: Dear Anonymous, you can do one of two things. Either call her/text her and know what she feels about your relationship and whether she considers it as one.

If she does, see how both of you can rebuild it.

If she has moved on, then it’s obvious to move on as well. Easier said than done, I know.

But if you weigh what you lose by being in a zone of misery and anxiety versus what you can do and be when you move on, I guess it’s obvious what you must choose for yourself.

Start with initially distracting yourself from the phone into things that matter.

Do simple things; any repair in the house that you have put off or any course that you have been procrastinating about.

This is the time to start deeply focusing into something that will give you a sense of achievement that will enable you to have a better feeling from within.

Slowly, start to increase the level of difficulty of these tasks and soon, though you might still remember her, it will not be through pain or anguish but more a good memory.

Start now and always make sure you are surrounded by friends who pull you when you feel that ‘down’ moment.

Do remember, there was a reason why the two of you parted.

Honour and respect that reason and move on if that’s what is necessary for your peace of mind.

My best wishes to you!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |526 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 19, 2024

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Relationship
I'm 23old now I was in a 2yr relationship,she was from caste and we know each other since school time once we started our relationship it went well we were committed to each other but when shifted to her native place things got rough she started ignoring me and given reason of college. once her uncle found out about our relationship and told her father about us her father warned her not to talk with anyone then she refused to continue our relationship citing of not having future together now it's been three years now she moved on and I still don't what was her actual reason why she left me ....after one year of break up she contacted me and I assured her of getting government job and talk to her parents but she said she didn't have much time her father liked his friend son but she hasn't talk to him I don't know what to do I can't stop thinking about her everyday should I try again... please help me
Ans: Dear Saurav,

I understand the appeal of trying once again, starting over. The relationship you shared with her was comfortable and familiar. We are all drawn to comfort and familiarity. But, are you sure she is still the person you fell in love with? It's been some time since you two have been together. People grow, and change. If you do want to give it another try, I suggest meeting up in person or spending enough time together to understand if you two are still compatible. Next, she has left you once for her family; while we understand the pressure, the reality is still the reality- she chose her family over you. You should discuss the matter before getting into the relationship once more. Even if you successfully start over, it would be naive to expect things to be just as they were before- some things will be better and some different. Go ahead only after you acknowledge all of these.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |526 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Sir I have been in a relationship of 2 yr now it's been a three yr she's gone now,she said our caste is not same so we don't have future together when his father found out about our relationship,we already known our caste already when we started our relationship now I wonder why did she said that.later,she said I moved on I don't want to be with you and don't contact me ever.. it's been 3 years now can't stop my self from thinking her everyday there is lots of thoughts coms into my mind what could be reason that she left me I'm dying thinking of her but don't care what I suffered from this.. sometimes I think ,is she found someone we living in a different cities know I think I should get hai government job which I promised to her and then go to meet her and talk about our marriage...is it right to do now.. please help me I ..... what could I do now
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Breakups are rough. I understand how painful it is, and all your feelings are valid. But hoping that a government job can sort everything out, is that the right thing to think? She did not break up with you for your job, she did so because of your caste. And wondering why she said all the harsh things will get you nowhere; it will not give you any closure. She could have meant it all or might have said it just to make sure you don't come back again. Whatever the reason, you should respect her wishes and find a way to move forward. I know it hurts to think that she has found someone else, but if you allow yourself to move on, soon you will find someone too- someone who loves you for who you are and someone who loves you completely. I can't force you to move on; the decision is yours. But don't rush- take a little time to think your plan through. If you get a government job, it's great; not because you will get her back but because you will have achieved something substantial. I strongly suggest focusing on yourself, because no one else will.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2025Hindi
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Hi, i am 32 year old, Male. I have personal loan of upto 7 lakhs, (2.25L and 4.75L). The 2.25L i have been paying EMI regularly and no issues. The other one of 4.75L the EMI amount is quite big and since I lost my job in September 2024 i am finding it very difficult to pay the EMI for 4.75L loan. I had requested the lender to restructure the loan by reducing the EMI by 50% and extend the tenure or suspend the EMI for 3-6 months till I get a job and after the suspension period take the regular EMI. But both my request was rejected. I also sent a letter through lawyer mentioning the above request but even then that was rejected. I am delaying their EMI payments from last 2-3 months by 5-6 days and they start calling and disturbing the very next day. Please help me with other options that I have to reduce the EMI. Since I had health issues I lost my job in September 2024 and for health reasons i had to borrow money from friends and family. Right now I am doing odd jobs that help me pay the EMI for 2.25L loan and some part of EMI for other loan of 4.75L. please help me the options that I have.
Ans: Your financial situation is challenging but manageable with the right strategy. You need a structured approach to reduce your loan burden while ensuring financial stability. Below is a step-by-step plan to help you manage your EMI payments effectively.

Assess Your Current Financial Situation
You have two personal loans totaling Rs. 7 lakhs.
The Rs. 2.25 lakh loan EMI is being paid on time.
The Rs. 4.75 lakh loan EMI is difficult to pay due to job loss.
Your lender has rejected the restructuring request.
You are doing odd jobs to cover partial EMIs.
You have borrowed money from family and friends for health-related expenses.
Immediate Steps to Reduce EMI Pressure
Prioritise Essential Expenses

Focus on necessities like rent, food, and medical expenses.
Cut down on discretionary spending.
Avoid new loans or credit card debt.
Try Negotiating Again with the Lender

Approach the lender with a new repayment proposal.
Request a lower EMI based on your current earnings.
Highlight job loss and health issues in your request.
If needed, offer partial payments to show commitment.
Seek Financial Assistance from Family or Friends

Consider borrowing a small amount to clear missed EMIs.
Ensure you repay them once you secure a stable job.
Use Savings or Liquid Assets

If you have emergency savings, use them for EMI payments.
Consider selling small assets or non-essential valuables.
Medium-Term Solutions for Loan Management
Debt Consolidation Loan

Apply for a new loan with a lower interest rate.
Use it to pay off the Rs. 4.75 lakh loan.
This can reduce your EMI and extend the tenure.
Compare interest rates before applying.
Balance Transfer to Another Bank

Some banks offer lower interest rates for balance transfers.
Shifting your loan to another bank can reduce EMI pressure.
Check the processing fee before proceeding.
Freelance or Part-Time Work

Explore temporary jobs or online gigs.
Any additional income can help cover EMIs.
Consider skills-based freelancing for better income.
Emergency Loan from Employer or Community Groups

Some organisations offer interest-free loans to employees.
Community groups may provide financial assistance.
Check for government schemes supporting job seekers.
Long-Term Strategies for Financial Stability
Build an Emergency Fund

Once you secure a job, start saving for emergencies.
Keep at least six months' expenses as an emergency fund.
This will prevent future financial stress.
Improve Credit Score

Pay EMIs on time to avoid credit score damage.
Avoid multiple loan applications in a short period.
Good credit history will help in future financial needs.
Plan for Future Expenses

Set financial goals for savings and investments.
Avoid unnecessary borrowing in the future.
Invest in health insurance to cover medical emergencies.
Final Insights
Focus on paying the overdue EMI as soon as possible.
Explore options like debt consolidation or loan balance transfer.
Look for additional income sources to ease financial pressure.
Once stable, build an emergency fund to avoid similar issues.
Stay disciplined with spending and financial planning.
If you need more personalised guidance, feel free to reach out.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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