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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I met a guy 2 days back in arranged marriage meeting he admitted that he drinks and eats non veg and he asked me that iam okay with it But I dint get any response from his family He asked if iam ok with his drinking is he interested in me ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What was your response when he asked you if you are okay with his drinking and eating non-veg?
You have not mentioned that in your question. No one would know if he is interested in you or not based on one question he has asked you.
Focus on what you are looking for in a life partner, so that when you actually meet prospective grooms, you at least know your own likes and dislikes and also can ask them relevant questions that will help you decide if he is the right person for you. Do develop a sense of identity that you can hold onto rather than just waiting for them to like you. You also have the right to like and not like someone but for this, you need to start thinking and developing yourself as a stronger personality.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52. He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him. I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp. When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021. Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough. I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek. He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?
Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |183 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am currently in my late 30s and i am unmarried. Currently i am chatting with a person whom i found on a matrimonial site but he is an introvert so i am.But is is extremely introvert he is not opening up completely its going to be one month since we are chatting. He calls me everyday.But he talks very formally.Does he has interest in me we are going to meet for a second time in a few days.Pls help.Should i marry him?
Ans: It's positive that you've been in communication for a month and that he makes an effort to call you every day. However, it's important to recognize that everyone has their own communication style, and being introverted doesn't necessarily mean a lack of interest. Some people take time to open up, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. Introverts often prefer to think before they speak and may be more reserved in expressing their thoughts and feelings. If he is consistently reaching out and maintaining contact, it could be a sign of interest, even if the communication seems formal. Meeting in person can provide valuable insights into his personality. People may be more comfortable and expressive in person than they are online or over the phone. Pay attention to his body language, facial expressions, and overall demeanor during your second meeting. Encourage open communication by asking open-ended questions that invite him to share more about himself. This can help create a more relaxed and natural conversation If you feel comfortable, you might express to him that you would like to get to know him better and that you appreciate open and honest communication. This can create an environment where both of you feel more comfortable sharing. Before making any decisions about marriage, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations about your values, goals, and expectations for the future. Take the time to understand each other's personalities and communication styles, and assess whether you share common values and interests.

Remember, the decision to marry someone is significant, and it's important to feel a genuine connection and mutual understanding. If you have any doubts or concerns, it's advisable to address them before making any commitments.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |64 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Mam, I wanted to keep it anonymous. I am 26years old female, my parents are looking for a suitable alliance for me. They came with a proposal from a guy's family and they wanted to have a formal meet in a temple. We all met in the temple the guy's family looked good they talked in a nice manner myself and the guy had a seperate conversation. Before going his parents told that he is an introvert and wont speak much. while we went to talk i was the one asking him questions and he only replied for that and inturn asked me the same question. I am an extrovert so i did the most of the talking part i didnt wanted to make the convo boring without answering anything so i was coming up with new questions. We spoke for around 10-15mins and then went to the place where our parents were sitting, his parents asked me to tell the answer immediately but i told them that i will tell the decision once i reach home. His parnets talked to him seperately and asked him the decision and he said yes it seems. We left the temple then, after two days when my parents asked me what was my decision i told them that though he is a nice guy i cant see him as my partner and if were to marry him that would be for your happiness i will not be able to marry him whole heartedly was my answer, then my parents spoke to his parents and told that if you want to talk to him again meet him somewhere and then talk and decide. I thought okay lets give it a try and said yes, we met after a week in a cafe. He initially asked me about my work and then i asked the same after that again he didnt speak much, i always wanted my partner to speak and have fun conversation with me. Though its our second meet i wanted him to atleast talk little bit that the first one but he didnt do much talking part. I was again talking and we left after 30mins. My parents were trying to convince me a lot, i told them that my intuition doesn't work with this guy(I am firm believer of intuition i have been doing things based on my intuition only) but my parents were trying to convince me telling you dont know what you want we will only know what you want, you will be happy if you marry this guy. But my soul doesnt want to marry this guy it seems im not able to accept my parents convincing words. If i were to marry him that will only be my parents choice and not my choice. What should i do now?
Ans: Well, this conversation requires a discussion - but I will attempt responding based on what you have shared. You should know introverts take time in opening up...and that should be respected. Its possible when you know each other, he may still not open up with others, but with you he is talkative. What is bothersome here is you intuition, your 6th sense - which makes you uncomfortable - question it, why do you think that is the case. If I was in a similar situation I would have asked to meet this gentleman 3-4 times more - and would observe more and talk less :)....maybe listen more and ask fewer questions. If you do meet him ask him what is making him say yes. Let him know that it bothers you that he responds in short sentences. But after that play games together - from board games to games like 3 things you wish to have in your partner to 3 qualities you wish you partner works upon. You need to answer this as well. Ask him his 3 strengths and share yours, share personality traits you need to work on and ask his.....keep the conversations light and fun....and then question your intuition again...and if it does not agree then do what works for you. Make parents sit down and explain it to them without getting emotional or raising your voice. Hope this helps.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |31 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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Career
My daughter is 10 years old, she dnt want to study at all.we forced her to study then she learned as I am also a working women and her father is in abroad. So, we arrange one home tutor and in evening I taught her also. I explained all subjects throughly to understand her basics. At that time only she studied otherwise she didn't want to study by her own. She always need a pressure for studies due to this her marks are not good at all. She is an average student. Pls suggest what to do?
Ans: Hi!!
A working mother, husband working abroad, there is only so much you can do. Spend quality time with your daughter, bond with her on stuff other than studies, that brings happiness to both of you.
If you as a mother know your child's potential then, this should be good. You are saying she is an average student then set a certain percentage that she can score, when she scores that much then celebrate it. Let her live a balanced life, right amount of time spent on studies and other skills. Expose her to other skills like, music, sports, debating, story telling... she will soon discover something where she excels!!

Set a time for studies, let her study during that time and rest of the time don't keep talking about studies, discuss and do something else. Explain to her why studying is important, make gaining knowledge, studying a rewarding experience. Every child comes with their set of strengths and success. As a mother cherish your child and enjoy your time together. Your child is unique, do not compare her with anyone else.
Inspire her to be happy, healthy and knowledgeable by you being so!!

Happy Parenting! Best wishes

...Read more

Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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How to begin career in interior designing. What is the salary package
Ans: Starting a career in interior design requires a combination of education, skill development, practical experience, and networking. Consider pursuing a formal education in interior design from a reputable institution. Look for programs that offer comprehensive coursework, hands-on training, and opportunities for internships or practical experience. You can choose from diploma programs, bachelor's degrees, or master's degrees in interior design or related fields. Familiarize yourself with the principles and elements of design, spatial planning, color theory, materials, furniture styles, and construction techniques. Develop proficiency in design software such as AutoCAD, SketchUp, Revit, and Adobe Creative Suite, which are commonly used in the industry. Create a portfolio showcasing your design projects, concepts, and creative abilities. Include a variety of projects that demonstrate your skills in different areas of interior design, such as residential, commercial, hospitality, or retail spaces. Your portfolio is your visual resume and will be essential when applying for jobs or seeking clients. Seek opportunities to gain practical experience through internships, apprenticeships, or entry-level positions in design firms, architectural firms, or interior design studios. Practical experience will provide valuable insights, mentorship, and hands-on experience in real-world design projects. Seek opportunities to gain practical experience through internships, apprenticeships, or entry-level positions in design firms, architectural firms, or interior design studios. Practical experience will provide valuable insights, mentorship, and hands-on experience in real-world design projects. Decide whether you want to work as an independent freelance designer or join a design firm or agency. Starting your own business offers flexibility and autonomy but requires entrepreneurial skills and the ability to manage clients, projects, and finances effectively. Regarding salary packages in interior design, they can vary significantly based on factors such as location, experience, specialization, clientele, and the type of projects undertaken. Entry-level interior designers may start with modest salaries, but as they gain experience and reputation in the industry, their earning potential increases. 

The average salary for an interior designer in India varies by experience and company, starting from entry level with less than three years of experience earning an average salary of ?2.6 lakhs per year; mid-career between 4–9 years of experience earns an average salary of ?4.5 lakhs per year; experienced: 10–20 years of experience earns an average salary of ?7.1 lakhs per year; independent: ?50,000–1 lakh per month or more; and top companies can pay ?22–24 lakhs per year on average, up to ?44 lakhs per year with relevant experience as well.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2024Hindi
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Career
What should I do I have cgpa 6.1 in btech now till sem 3rd year ,1st sem. Currently I'm in 3rd year. So , i should prepare for upsc civil services or UPSC engineering services.
Ans: Deciding between UPSC Civil Services and UPSC Engineering Services requires careful consideration of your interests, strengths, and career goals. Reflect on your interests, strengths, and career aspirations. If you have a passion for public administration, policymaking, and addressing societal issues, UPSC Civil Services may be a better fit for you. On the other hand, if you enjoy technical challenges, problem-solving, and contributing to infrastructure development, UPSC Engineering Services may align better with your interests. UPSC Civil Services often involve a diverse range of roles, including administrative, diplomatic, and policymaking positions, with opportunities to work at the national, state, or district levels. UPSC Engineering Services primarily focuses on engineering roles in government departments and organizations, with responsibilities related to project management, design, and implementation of infrastructure projects. I would recommend that you pursue civil services, which may indeed be a better choice for you. Civil services provide opportunities to lead and make decisions that influence public policies, programs, and initiatives. As a civil servant, you can contribute to governance, social development, and nation-building by addressing key issues and challenges facing the country. Civil services offer avenues for continuous learning, professional growth, and skill development. You can undertake training programs, attend workshops, and participate in capacity-building initiatives to enhance your knowledge, skills, and leadership abilities throughout your career. Civil services provide the job security, stability, and prestige associated with serving in the government sector. Civil servants enjoy various perks, benefits, and allowances, along with opportunities for promotion and career advancement based on performance and seniority.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |31 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am U VENKATESWARA RAO Retired Office Superintendent in BSNL on VRS I am 62 years old. No time pass. Can I have any WFH job? I have passed B.Com with Tyewriting English Higher grade during 1981-1982.
Ans: Absolutely, there are remote job opportunities available for individuals with a diverse range of skills and experiences, including those who have retired from traditional office-based roles. With your administrative experience from your role as an office superintendent at BSNL, you could work as a virtual assistant, providing administrative support to businesses or entrepreneurs remotely. Tasks may include email management, scheduling appointments, data entry, and conducting research. Many companies hire remote customer service representatives to handle customer inquiries, resolve issues, and provide support via phone, email, or chat. Your communication skills and experience in dealing with customers could be valuable in this role. If you have a strong understanding of subjects like English or commerce, you could explore opportunities for online tutoring. Many platforms offer remote tutoring positions where you can teach students of various ages and levels. Leverage your extensive experience in the telecommunications industry by offering consulting services to businesses or individuals remotely. You could provide advice, guidance, and expertise in areas related to telecommunications, customer service, or administration. When exploring WFH job opportunities, be sure to research reputable companies, familiarize yourself with remote work tools and technologies, and tailor your resume and cover letter to highlight relevant skills and experiences. Additionally, consider networking within your industry or joining online communities to connect with potential employers or clients. With the right approach and determination, you can find fulfilling WFH opportunities that suit your skills and preferences.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |31 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

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my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in Second shift from 11.30 am to 5.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tireness and keep improving him in balanced way.
Ans: Hello Saket!!

It is unfair to expect a child all of 08 to come back home from school late in the evening and study(I am assuming he is home by 6.30 PM). You can shift his study time to the morning hours, say from 8 to 10 AM.

Now to manage his well being after coming back from school.
Take care of the following-
1. it's a good time to introduce time management to your 8yr old son
2. on a Sunday when both of you are relatively free, involve him to make a time table for studies. Stick the time table in a place where it is visible to him
3.let him relax for an hr after coming back from school
4.if you assume 10 PM is his sleeping time( the child needs 9-12 hrs of sleep), and 7:45 PM is dinner time, some where between dinner time and sleeping time, see if you can manage a little bit of HW/studies
5. there is so much happening at school apart from studies, he is developing - social skills, coping mechanism, developing new ideas ,etc....let home be a place where he is loved, nourished and a place to relax and rejuvenate
6. have fixed time to study and make him study during those hours.

You cannot be rigid, every child's requirements are different try out what suits you and your family!!

Happy parenting!!

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |187 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am 27 M. I am a introverted person but not that much I love meeting new people, party, travelling etc. But Whenever I try to talk with any girl I forgot everything that I want to express and also feels bit nervous and shy. So many thoughts are in my mind but I am unable to express that in front of others, I simply forgot. How can I improve my communication skills with other girls and feel confident about myself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are facing is very common. The first step is to remember that you are not alone. Even the best of us face it. Second, have you tried dating apps? There is no speaking face to face, which substantially helps with the nervousness. You can chat with people for days before you even decide to meet them in person. You can also attract the people who can perfectly match your vibe, making it easier for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed with them.

Other than that, here are few tips you can try-

Start small. Start with small talks. You don't need to have a full blown conversation in the very first attempt. Say Hi, smile, or ask her about her day. If you feel shy to speak, master the art of listening. Women love a man who can actively listen. Third, be genuine and be yourself. The more you pretend to impress a girl, the trickier it can be to keep up the act. Moreover, you will be preoccupied with your pretense and won't focus on the quality of the conversation. Be you. Fourth, learn from your experience. Good or bad, experiences can teach us a lot. Reflect on the past conversations; the ones that went well and ones that didn't. Identify what worked and what needs improvement. And lastly, be patient. Building confidence can take a while. Not all of us are naturally blessed with it. Some of us have to work for it. But in the end, it will be worth your while.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

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