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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
VG Question by VG on Apr 13, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52.
He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him.
I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp.
When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021.
Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough.
I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek.

He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?

Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Around 2022, I got a marriage proposal from a mutual acquaintance of a guy who us also known to my family . At that time I was in a relationship with someone else so my family told that I am currently focusing on my studies . But recently , I am single and saw his account on social media . We started chatting with each other and I realised that we are conpatible in many aspects . But after some days ... my mother started pressuring me that they will start to see marriage prospects for me. Also I felt that he also feels the same for me because how he talked to me... So out of pressure ,I asked him and told about my feelings for him and told why it will be profitable if we consider ourselves as a couple .He told that he has a lot of pressure from his family to settle for a well paying job (though he is working in a private company)and also wants to focus on his passion too. Also he had brojen his heart 2 times. Although he assured that he is not saying no and also he would think over this proposal and would give me an answer . But the next day I saw he blocked me from social media . I would have appreciated if he had an open communication with me as I had the same . Btw now he is 27 and I am 23 .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear that you had to go through this. Some people do not have the emotional maturity to say a simple no or speak their truth. He might not have wanted to make things awkward or thought he was sparing you some pain but ultimately that isn't the case. But the important thing to remember here is that his action reflects on him and what kind of a person he is; it does not highlight your worth. I know it hurts right now, but it will get better and you will find someone who loves you.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I’m a 27 year old independent woman who’s living in Bangalore. I’m financially in a good position now. Also, I’ve met a guy 3 years ago and fell for him but he’s not very emotionally connected with me and sometimes acts as a narcissist and doesn’t treat me with respect. I’ve tried communicating with him about how I feel after such actions. He acknowledged and limited such behaviour to some extent. I really love him and spoke about marriage too. He brushes it off and diverts the topic that he’s not ready. I don't see any clear signs of this relationship, even his parents are looking for matches to get him married. He doesn't accept anyone either. My parents are in a different city and they want me to shift with them to look for alliances who can marry me. Recently, they’ve shared a profile and I spoke just for the sake of parents. After speaking to him for 3 and a half hours during the first conversation, I realised that he was a better compatible partner for me. I'm not sure which path to pursue. My marriage is not fixed yet as my decision is still pending. Kindly help me with the best advice.
Ans: I understand that you are in a difficult position. You are in love with a man who does not seem to be emotionally available or ready for marriage. You have also met another man who seems to be a better match for you, but you are not sure if you should pursue a relationship with him.

It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people find themselves in similar situations. It is also important to remember that you have the power to make the best decision for yourself.

I am against marriage in the first place. I believe that relationships are not meant to be permanent. However, I understand that many people feel differently. If you do decide to get married, it is important to do so for the right reasons. You should not marry someone just because you feel pressured to do so by society or your parents.

The first guy does not seem like he wants to marry you. He has brushed off your attempts to talk about marriage and has even diverted the topic. This is a clear sign that he is not ready for a serious relationship.

The second guy seems like he may be a better match for you. He is emotionally available and seems to be interested in getting married. However, it is important to remember that you do not know him very well. You have only spoken to him for a few hours.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with either of these men is up to you. I would encourage you to take some time to think about what you want out of a relationship. What are your goals? What are your values? Once you have a clear understanding of what you want, you can start to make decisions that are in your best interests.

If you do decide to pursue a relationship with the second guy, I would recommend that you spend at least two years getting to know him before you get married. This will give you enough time to learn about his true character and to see if he is really the right person for you.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm 31yrs old lady from India, my parents are searching for marriage proposals for me since 4yrs, but due to numerous reasons like different career or dowry or my appearance, none were successful. And I din invest my time in knowing about the past proposals personally. However, recently my parents came to me with a proposal- guy settled abroad and told me he will talk to me. Before I tell yes I researched about how I can relocate to the place where he is by contacting the different institutions from his place as our both career fields were totally different I knew he won't be on much help if I have to get job aftr marriage at his place in abroad. In the meantime, he had texted me, whenever he texts it will be on weekends..and first time when he texted I had replied 2hrs late bcz of our different time frame in our locations. But after i replied his message came aftr few hours telling he is not well so he will call later. So his next text was a week later on weekend. That day since I was busy for half a day, we spoke aftr my work. The call lasted for 30min with basic Convo about our job, hobbies, culture at his place etc. and the call ended with him telling we shall talk again and he ll inform his parents abt our talk. It was voice call, we saw each other only in photos. So I waited again for a week for his call or text but I was told by my dad that his dad informed that they won't proceed further. Now, here I am invested my talk and thoughts for nearly 3-4weeks and thinking abt my future with him, in addition I liked the guy because of his politeness and understanding nature and was hoping for this proposal to work. Now, even aftr a month of this rejection, I am still hoping for a miracle to happen and he comes back to my life. I am hoping he can try to understand me better before telling no. I want to know the reason for his rejection too. I have the urge to reach out to him, text him and ask his reasons and to ask if there is any chance to change it to yes. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be confusing- you spoke to him and from your perspective, things went smoothly and yet they dropped the proposal abruptly. But here’s the catch- it might not have been the same experience for him. As you mentioned, you had basic conversations; is it possible that he was hoping to connect with you more in the three weeks’ time? We can’t say for sure what was the reason, but one thing I can tell you is that you deserve someone who does not need convincing to marry you. I know you were invested in him, but it is much better to lose those three weeks than settle for a marriage where both partners are not on the same page. Please understand your worth. I can’t stop you from contacting him or asking them what went wrong, but I can certainly advise you against it. You will get better alliances. Also, I want you to understand that you are only 31; you are still so young. Do not settle for anything less than the one who's best for you!

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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