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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I am 27 M. I am a introverted person but not that much I love meeting new people, party, travelling etc. But Whenever I try to talk with any girl I forgot everything that I want to express and also feels bit nervous and shy. So many thoughts are in my mind but I am unable to express that in front of others, I simply forgot. How can I improve my communication skills with other girls and feel confident about myself.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are facing is very common. The first step is to remember that you are not alone. Even the best of us face it. Second, have you tried dating apps? There is no speaking face to face, which substantially helps with the nervousness. You can chat with people for days before you even decide to meet them in person. You can also attract the people who can perfectly match your vibe, making it easier for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed with them.

Other than that, here are few tips you can try-

Start small. Start with small talks. You don't need to have a full blown conversation in the very first attempt. Say Hi, smile, or ask her about her day. If you feel shy to speak, master the art of listening. Women love a man who can actively listen. Third, be genuine and be yourself. The more you pretend to impress a girl, the trickier it can be to keep up the act. Moreover, you will be preoccupied with your pretense and won't focus on the quality of the conversation. Be you. Fourth, learn from your experience. Good or bad, experiences can teach us a lot. Reflect on the past conversations; the ones that went well and ones that didn't. Identify what worked and what needs improvement. And lastly, be patient. Building confidence can take a while. Not all of us are naturally blessed with it. Some of us have to work for it. But in the end, it will be worth your while.

Best Wishes.

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Ashwini

Ashwini Dasgupta  | Answer  |Ask -

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Sep 25, 2023

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Career
Presently I am working as a General Manager Purchase and my age is 44, I find difficult in speaking without any agenda/specific question. Even in informal dinners or just casual talks I become blank. This is same in my personal life also. Like introvert type, but this is taking a toll on my professional as well as personal. I try very hard to be fluent with people but I am not able to do it. If somebody speaks 20 line and I convey the same in 1 line. But it is boring for others. How do I improve it.... like storytelling type.
Ans: Dear Balaji,

Thank you for writing in.

First of all, stop labelling yourself (like you have mentioned in the above question "I am an Introvert type"). As humans our brains are wired to believe what information we feed to ourselves.

Second, acceptance. Accepting the way, you are. That is your strength.

Certain steps that can be considered -
- Know the agenda you are entering into. This will help you prepare in advance on the conversations you need to engage in.
If there are no agendas then you can -
- Initiate small talks. For example- talk about current affairs in the industry (avoid talking about religion or politics) as this can get sensitive. Conversation should be general in nature. This will help you break the ice with the individual.
- Asking open ended questions- such questions help you encourage others to share more information. Instead of asking yes/no questions, ask questions that require a more detailed response, such as "What was that experience like for you?" or "Tell me more about..."
- Focus on your observation- Observe your surroundings and what's happening in the environment. You can use these observations as conversation starters. For example, if you're at a restaurant, you can comment on the decor, the food, or the atmosphere.
- Share Personal Stories- Personal anecdotes can make your conversations more relatable and engaging.
-Use Body Language- Your body language can enhance your communication. Maintain eye contact, use gestures to emphasize points, and smile when appropriate to convey warmth and engagement.
-Don’t hesitate to seek for professional help- If you feel that your difficulty in engaging in conversations is causing significant distress or impacting your personal and professional life, consider seeking professional help. This should help you navigate with the tips and tricks.

Hope this helps.

All the best

Ashwini Dasgupta
To your Success. Be You. Be Confident
Author of Confidence Decoded- Is it a Skill or Attitude?

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Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I'm a 19-year-old college student from Kolkata, and I’ve always been the shy, introverted type. While my friends easily speak their minds and make connections, I find myself overthinking every word I say. It’s affecting my confidence, especially in group settings or when I meet new people. I really want to be more outgoing and assertive, but I don’t know where to start.
Ans: I would rather say that it is completely normal to feel shy or over think any conversation in a new group or public meetings. Rather than considering it as your negative behaviour, opt for boosting your confidence over time. Take small steps to reach your better self such as begin by initiating a small conversation with your classmates or ask a question in GD session without any self-doubt. All you need is shifting focus from self-doubt and judgement onto being available in the conversation with your whole mind and body. Most people are more interested in giving their opinions, rather than listening to yours and this fear is just in your mind that needs to be broken. Another practice you can entertain in your life is assertiveness, which means expression of thoughts in a calm and composed manner in a safe setting where you will feel free to communicate. Once you begin with small disagreements in a comfortable group, it will help you to step out of your comfort zone. Additionally, working on your body language, maintaining good posture, making eye contact, and speaking at a steady pace can naturally make you feel more confident. If conversations make you nervous, prepare a few open-ended questions beforehand to keep discussions flowing. Celebrate small wins along the way, as every effort to push beyond your comfort zone counts. The more you practice, the more natural it will feel, and soon, social interactions won’t seem as daunting. You’re capable of growing into a more confident and outgoing version of yourself, just take it one step at a time.
Wishing you success,
Aamish Dhingra
ICF-PCC Certified Life Coach
Co-Founder, Cocoweave Coaching International, Delhi

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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