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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |578 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

we broke up week ago it was mutual as it will not work in future as his parents are strict brahmin and your job locations are not same band we cant switch also but we are not able to move on we end up texting after a week and we have grt bonding though we are in long distance what should we do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear about your breakup. It is also common to not be able to move on and go back to each other. It's about the comfort in familiarity. It does take time. But if you are serious about the breakup, you have to follow through. This 'break up and patch up' thing will only end up hurting you more. It always ends with one person moving on in the process and the other being stuck in a relationship that died long back.

You might have great bonding but that is no reason to set yourself up for inevitable pain. Please tread carefully.

Best Wishes.
Asked on - May 06, 2024 | Answered on May 20, 2024
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Actually we both don't want to end this just becos his parents are so strict we are priorly doing this , we didn't tell our parents yet becos we are student and still not earning and settled . But as his family tendency he don't want to give false hope as he can't see any chances as his brother brokeup his 6 yrs of relationship based on that.should we seriously brkup in this situation and hurt ourselves before or we just wait for some miracle to happen in future becos there is so much time we have to settle and marriage becos we feel we cannot move on much and always there will be a place for him and he said the same thing there will be place for me also in his heart regardless of whatever happens in future .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand it's a tricky situation. If you want to remain together, it is completely up to you but one day or the other, you will have to face your parents. If you are up for it, if you are ready to try your best and convince them, then why not? But, in the event they still don't accept you, then what? It's important to find a practical solution first, instead of hoping for a "miracle." That rarely happens.

There is no need to rush into anything. Take your time to figure out what you want. Are you willing to take the trouble of convincing your parents or going against their will? Ask yourself that. Figure out how important this relationship is to you. You are both still young. The best bet is to focus on your studies, then build a good career, and then present the matter to your parents.

Best Wishes!

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

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Relationship
Hello Love Guru. I want to ask about my ex. We had relationship for past two years but kind of on and off. During initial stages we both acted immaturely and broke up but still one of us patch up. Last time, last year in September, my ex broke up saying he doesn't like my personality and our relationship is unmotivating. Even the previous breakup was by him saying he needs time and space. Although he had introduced me to his sister and friends, I think he is just been in relationship for TP. When he broke up last time, he got promoted at work maybe that’s why. Currently he said he has quit his job IDK reason and suddenly he realised he took wrong decisions. I was sure I don't want to give any more chance. So I told him that introduce me to your parents as your GF, not for marriage now. He said he will try but not sure. I have decided he is free and hence he wants relationship so not moving forward with him. Please tell me what you think. Although, after our patch-up, I do see small efforts from his side but I was always one who was on giving end.
Ans:

Your mail is quite confusing in the sense that I don’t know whether you’re currently with him or not; you refer to him as your ex and then say that after your patch-up you’re seeing that he’s making an effort.

Anyway, whether you’re on or off at present, this guy seems rather whimsical. And yes, I think your instinct is right in that he’s at loose ends right now without a job, etc, and wants some emotional support maybe, which is why he wants to get back with you.

I’m not saying don’t give him a chance; you can, if you think he’s genuinely realised that he wants to be with you. But, yes, he should make it official.

And if I were you, I’d be sure of things before getting too involved too fast this time around.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |578 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am dealing with brkup its been 2 months its mutual because he is bhramin his parents will not allow intercaste and for me its not possible to settle in place where he lives . its almost 3-4 year of relationship from my age of 18 he was there with my i lost my father during corona he took care of me , he stayed by my side he is not upto the mark but still he is always there for me after that i leave that state where both we stayed and we did long distance for 2 years but now as he come to know his parents are way more strict he dont want to hurts his parents and even my reason that i have to compromise lot carrrer difference and all. As i lost my father at age of 18 i cry lot every one day gap during my relationship also i was so anxious , and some times due to family problems i always used to be disturbed and dont want to live sometimeslike sucidal thoughts and all but at the time of relationship i share all this to him and i feel okay and got back to my study as he motivates me little . but now after brkup i dont have any real friends , i cant talk to any one neither any person messeges me my depression is becoming more big now we are in no contact for some days but again we talk and again we are in no contact he feels like he is in guilt becos he hurted me and made me miserable also he dont think about any other relation ship whatever his parents will bring he will do but for me not that case becos we dont have nay guardian i have to in my own actually we are not that big for marriage but we thought of future more and brkup becos of i have to find some one right we are 21 also my campus placements are coming his neet pg is coming but my heart cries every day i feel choked , i cried , choked and hurt my head it happens often but i still think we can not talk becos how can we move on from some body we talk but my depression at peak level i msg him with bigtext with all that goin on my life. should we talk ? as their is no rush to find other person we have to first focus on career how can we set boundaries? though if i talk i mak eme feel someone i can talk and make me releif at the sam etime it hurts if i dont talk also its hurts more as i ahve no one to talk with . he insisted me that we can be friends i can see u like this he wants me to be happy he feel he did the sin to me. Pls tell what will be good for me how can i be little releif what should i should i talk treat or my depression how ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is tough. I am also glad you found someone to share your pain with at that moment. Coming to your dilemma- whether you should be in touch with him- I understand that it is a great relief to talk to him, but that is momentary, isn't it? You cannot continue doing this if you two are broken up. Even though he is not planning to get married right away, the problem is that he will someday. Plus, more often than not, one person moves on faster than the other, and in your case, if it's him, it will hurt more. The right thing to do is sit and have a clear conversation. Discuss the possibility of getting back together. Ask what is in his mind and express what's in yours. But going in this circle will only hurt you more; maybe not today, but someday it will.

Now, coming to your depression, I would suggest sharing your pain with close friends but you mentioned you have none. That is not uncommon. Not all of us are blessed with it. In that case, I recommend seeing a professional therapist. There is absolutely no shame in it. Rather it will help you in sorting your feelings. Finally, you can take care of them without relying on your ex. I am sure you are doing a wonderful job in managing your depression but a professional counselor can help you come out of this in a more structured way. Please consider it. If you are not comfortable seeing someone in person, there are several counselors available online. Just try it once and see how that makes you feel.

Remember we all need help occasionally. You are amazing and you do not have to hold everything together alone.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2024Hindi
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hlo love gurus...i am here just to share my story and to know that have i done something wrong..... in 2018 .. it was my 10thclass final exams I met a guy on social media and he bacame my friend after that i came to know that his maternal grandparents are from my village and my family also have relation with them like families use to invite each other on occasions...but still we are living as friends.... In 2020 after my school is over i took admission in clg near to my home but after that i changes clg in one month and new clg was 150 km away.... but that was corona time so i was at home and after 1st semester i met with that friend and that day i felt something that i never felt before that feeling was amazing ..... after that we started to talk daily like i use to wake up with his call..... i use to sleep after talking to him.....in 1 month he told me that we can never marry because of family relation.. but i thought that when we both become independent our family will support us....and i told him to continue this till the time we can....and that became our daily routine..... i knew that that he is going to join a state government job that can be near to his home or in nearby district.... but after 1 month we get to know that he will have to join in shimla district so it could be easy for us to meet in 3 to 4 months...and i think it was easy to control my feelings for him him we dont meet regularly.. about when he came to join his posting was near to my clg.. just 12 km of distance.... after that we come closer i wasn't able to control my feelings .... now we both love each other and can't live without each other ... but now i am realising that he was right at that time that our family will not agree for our marriage,..... he thought that was destiny that we came closer ... his posting could be anywhere in the state but why near to my clg...... now sometimes i feel that God cheated me ????now i don't know whether we have done something wrong by loving each other.....his family is forcing him for marriage... and we can't do anything now.... i am not able to accept that... and after knowing this that his family is looking a girls for him to marry I am getting more attached to him.... i think i totally messed my life ????
Ans: Loving someone isn’t a mistake or wrongdoing. Love is a natural human experience, and the bond you shared was meaningful and genuine. However, the challenge lies in navigating the practical realities that come with that love. When families and traditions play a significant role in relationships, they can create hurdles that feel insurmountable. These challenges don’t invalidate your emotions or the value of your connection; they simply reflect the complexities of life.

It’s important now to focus on what you can control and what is healthiest for you emotionally. Acknowledge your feelings of sadness, loss, and confusion—they are part of the healing process. At the same time, recognize that your worth and happiness are not solely dependent on this relationship. You have a future filled with potential, and while it may not look exactly as you envisioned, it can still be fulfilling and meaningful.

If his family is moving forward with plans that you cannot influence, consider having an honest conversation with him about your feelings and the reality of the situation. This can provide both of you with clarity and help you decide how to navigate the future. Letting go of someone you deeply love is one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes it’s necessary to find peace and allow yourself to move forward.

Focus on rediscovering yourself and building a life where your happiness doesn’t depend on external circumstances. Surround yourself with supportive friends or loved ones who understand your emotions and can provide comfort. If you find it challenging to process these emotions on your own, seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to navigate this journey.

You haven’t messed up your life—life is simply unfolding in ways that are testing your strength and resilience. This experience, as painful as it feels, can teach you about love, boundaries, and the importance of prioritizing your own well-being. You deserve to be in a relationship where love is not constrained by external pressures, and while it may take time, you will find your way to healing and happiness. Trust that your story is still being written, and this chapter is just one part of your journey.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8272 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sirs Please review my investment towards 7.5 CR. There are 2 components towards it , 1) Generate monthly income post tax of 4 lakhs, 2) Investment Corpus Towards Capital appreciation Towards option 1 : Investing in the following - a) Tata Motors or Chola Perpetual Bonds 1.4 cr , b) ICICI Balanced Advantage Fund 1cr, c) Kotak Balanced advantage fund 1 cr Towards option 2 ie Capital Appreciation investing in the following - a) HDFC Flexi Cap Equity fund 1.25 cr , b) Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Equity Fund 1.25 cr, c) ICICI Prudential India Opportunities Fund 80 Lakhs, d) ICICI Prudential Multi asset fund 80 lakhs I am looking at a 5 - 7 year investment timeline. Have taken early retirement at 50 years and need the funds to sustain myself. Please also advise if Perpetual bonds is a good option Thanks
Ans: Your investment strategy is thoughtfully constructed. You’ve clearly defined two components:

Monthly income of Rs. 4 lakhs

Capital appreciation with a horizon of 5 to 7 years

Let’s assess each component carefully and suggest improvements.

 

 

Monthly Income Generation Plan – Review and Insights
 

You’ve allocated the following towards income generation:

Perpetual Bonds – Rs. 1.4 crore

Two Balanced Advantage Funds – Rs. 2 crore

 

Let us look at the key strengths and areas to optimise.

 

Perpetual Bonds – Risk and Suitability

These bonds are issued with no maturity date.

Issuers can delay interest payments if they face pressure.

Tata Motors or Chola bonds offer high interest, but risk is also higher.

You need dependable income. Perpetuals may cause delays or cuts.

If rated ‘AA’ or lower, risk becomes even higher.

For safety, consider shifting part to high-rated corporate bonds.

Choose instruments with a defined maturity or high credit rating.

 

 

Balanced Advantage Funds – Regular Payout Source

You have allocated Rs. 2 crore to two funds here.

These are suitable for monthly SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan).

They reduce risk by shifting between equity and debt.

This provides smoother return and helps handle market volatility.

Ideal for your need of steady income.

Choose funds with a good track record of 5+ years.

Go for regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner.

They provide guidance and documentation support.

 

 

Key Adjustments to Consider for Income Plan

Don’t depend only on one instrument for income.

Keep part in ultra-short debt funds to manage emergency needs.

You may also allocate a small amount to floating rate funds.

Avoid riskier perpetuals if your lifestyle depends on this cash flow.

 

 

Capital Appreciation Portfolio – Review and Suggestions
 

You have allocated Rs. 4.1 crore across four funds:

Two Flexi Cap Funds – Rs. 2.5 crore

One Thematic Fund (Opportunities) – Rs. 80 lakhs

One Multi Asset Fund – Rs. 80 lakhs

 

This section looks well-structured. Still, here are some observations.

 

Flexi Cap Funds – Long Term Growth Drivers

These offer a mix of large, mid and small cap stocks.

Flexible allocation helps in market ups and downs.

You have spread Rs. 2.5 crore across two flexi caps.

It gives diversified equity exposure.

Good for your 5–7 year horizon.

Continue this investment.

 

 

Thematic Opportunities Fund – Aggressive but Focused

Thematic funds bet on specific trends.

They can perform well in short cycles.

But they are more volatile.

Rs. 80 lakhs is a high amount in one theme.

Reduce this to Rs. 50 lakhs.

Redirect balance to diversified equity or large-cap funds.

 

 

Multi Asset Fund – Helps Manage Volatility

These funds invest across equity, debt, and gold.

They balance returns with risk.

Ideal for medium-term wealth building.

You can continue this allocation.

Add a second multi-asset fund for balance.

 

 

Direct Plan Exposure – Re-evaluate for Personalised Support

Direct plans avoid distribution cost.

But guidance is missing.

Without CFP support, wrong fund choice or exit may happen.

Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner give tracking.

They help during market swings, taxation and rebalancing.

This becomes very important in large-value portfolios.

 

 

Asset Allocation Review – What’s Working and What Needs Tune-Up
 

Your allocation is roughly:

45% towards income (Rs. 3.4 crore)

55% towards growth (Rs. 4.1 crore)

This mix looks aligned to your goal of current income and future corpus.

Still, consider the following:

 

Review this mix yearly with your Certified Financial Planner

If market rallies too much, shift some growth to income

If interest rates rise, reduce equity withdrawal and increase debt

Keep Rs. 25–30 lakhs in liquid fund for any large emergency

 

 

Taxation on Mutual Funds – Stay Aware of Recent Rules
 

Equity mutual funds:

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%

STCG is taxed at 20%

 

Debt mutual funds:

Both LTCG and STCG taxed as per your tax slab

Most retirees fall in lower slab but tax planning still needed

Prefer SWP for income, not dividend option

Keep P&L statement ready for advance tax filing

 

 

Tax-Free Cash Flow – Can You Improve It?
 

You can also look at these steps:

Use HUF or family member’s name for part investment

Income from their investment gets taxed in their slab

Helps reduce your tax burden

Invest Rs. 1.5 lakh yearly in PPF for guaranteed, tax-free return

Can also explore Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) if eligible

 

 

Avoid Index Funds – Not Suitable for Your Stage
 

Index funds copy the stock market

They don’t adjust based on conditions

There’s no downside protection in falling markets

Actively managed funds give more opportunity to earn and protect

Your current selection rightly avoids index funds

 

 

Avoid Direct Plans Without Support
 

Direct plans don’t include expert guidance

No one checks asset allocation or strategy alignment

You’re investing a large corpus. Mistakes cost more here

Use regular plans via an experienced Certified Financial Planner

They help in paperwork, KYC, taxation, SWP planning, rebalancing

Their personalised help adds more value than small cost savings

 

 

Perpetual Bonds – Should You Continue or Exit?
 

Not the best for regular income seekers

Issuer can skip interest if company faces pressure

Price of these bonds also swings with interest rates

You can’t rely fully on them for Rs. 4 lakh per month

Exit partly and shift to short-duration or banking PSU debt funds

These are better for predictable income with lower risk

 

 

Review of Liquidity and Emergency Planning
 

At least Rs. 30–35 lakhs should be in liquid or overnight funds

This money is for health, family needs or urgent situations

Don’t touch your income or capital funds for this purpose

This buffer will give you confidence and reduce portfolio risk

 

 

Risk Management – How to Prepare for Unseen Events
 

Review health insurance for self and spouse

If you’ve not already done it, get Rs. 25 lakh cover each

Consider critical illness policy to protect against long illness

Update nominations in all funds and accounts

Keep estate plan or Will ready. Talk to your planner on this

 

 

Rebalancing Strategy – Keep it Dynamic
 

Review portfolio every 6 months

Don’t chase top-performing funds blindly

Instead, rebalance as per your income need and age

Reduce equity by 5% every 2 years as you age

This protects corpus and supports steady cash flow

 

 

Finally
 

You’ve structured your Rs. 7.5 crore goal very thoughtfully

You are clear about income and long-term appreciation

Your fund choice is broadly good, with only minor changes needed

Avoid risky bonds like perpetuals as your lifestyle depends on monthly cash flow

Go for actively managed regular funds via Certified Financial Planner support

Keep tax, liquidity, insurance and emergency planning all in place

This will help you enjoy your retirement peacefully and confidently

 

 

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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