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Kanchan Rai |169 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 15, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2024Hindi

How to stay motivated when everything around you is falling apart?

Ans: Staying motivated in challenging times can indeed be difficult, but it's not impossible.Recognize that there are certain things you can control and others you can't. Direct your energy towards what you can control, such as your actions, attitudes, and responses to situations. When faced with overwhelming tasks, break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can make the goal seem less daunting and help you maintain motivation as you achieve each step. Remind yourself of your goals, values, and the reasons why you started in the first place. Connecting with your sense of purpose can provide the motivation you need to keep going. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a support network for help and encouragement. Sometimes talking to someone who understands can provide the perspective and motivation you need. Be kind to yourself during difficult times. Acknowledge your efforts, even if they fall short of your expectations. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend facing similar challenges. Take some time each day to visualize yourself overcoming obstacles and achieving your goals. This can help reinforce your motivation and keep you focused on the end result.

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Anu Krishna |825 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 27, 2020

Question by M - Oct 27, 2020Hindi

I am from Pune, but for the past 3-4 months I have been living in my hometown along with my family(wife,2 kids and parents). Currently I am working from home but for the past 2-3 weeks I am feeling unmotivated to do any work. I have been thinking of quitting my job for the past several years but not able to do it because I am the sole earner in the family. The last couple of projects I worked on did not turn out to be successful and a lot of the responsibility of the failure was on me as I have lost focus on my work. I don't know the reason for that but I feel my unwillingness to work in my current field, along with this lockdown period has added to my stress. I feel like quitting my job today and start looking for a new job but the fear of not getting a job at all stops me from doing so. I have some savings on which I can survive for a few months. I have also discussed this with my wife, she is willing to support me in every decision I make. Lot of negative thoughts come to my mind these days. Can you help me make the right decision?

Ans: Dear M, Many people are in a space that you are in currently.

The pandemic has created newer challenges that are unfamiliar to most of us.

It is imperative that we adapt to the best of our knowledge and make the best of what is right now.

Having said this, what I can suggest is work on your mind. It isn’t supporting you and what you feed it regularly is the way it will serve you.

So, the decision will be taken by you as you know your skills, knowledge, industry and your finances to arrive at that decision that will take you out from where you are now. But, what I can share is how you can strengthen your mind to make that decision.

1. Start where you are now without harping on what you could have done or should have done. The past is a learning. Learn from it.

2. Write down the pros and cons of staying in the current job, taking a new job and starting a new business. Factor the element of the Pandemic in all the three scenarios

3. Once you know which one is the best for now, begin with telling yourself that you are doing this for a reason.

What is the reason? Managing your home, paying loans etc. Make these responsibilities not an enemy but a friend as it’s not just you but possibly many others who are doing the same

4. Motivation can be from outside or from within you. Tap into both as it comes in handy when a friend keeps you on the right path or you visualize the happiness and comfort that you are seeing yourself and your family in with the decision taken. Meditate for calming the mind if you can.

5. Lastly and most importantly, be grateful for having a job, no matter what it is as there are many who are losing jobs and this is actually a reward for you having one

Life has changing phases and nothing is permanent, so even this phase will give rise to a new and better one. Till then, make the best of this.

Happy Navigating! Have a good life!

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Anu Krishna |825 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 27, 2020

Question by S - Oct 27, 2020Hindi

I saw your helpline and thought of asking for help. I m a sales guy aged 50 and recently joined a company. It is neither a MNC nor a middle sized organisation. Considering the fact that this is new organisation i need to prove my worth. There is tremendous pressure to perform. There is absolutely no support from the company people to send quotations etc which they take their sweet time and they give reasons like Covid -19 etc for the delay and they do not expect us to give reasons for failure. If u look at it from my perspective , I have joined in the month of Feb 2020 wherein March-April and may were locked down months. Just now the business has started signs to improve. Instead of supporting the team they keep on finding little faults which does not motivate but de-motivates me. A colleague before me has already been sacked after 5 months and I am not sure when my turn will come. I feel it may be next month too. I have not tried to reason out with them or they may say I am trying to give reasons for my failure. On top of that I have been reporting to 4 bosses who just write to me as per their whims and fancies. Plz let me know what best I can do to survive this time frame. I am just keeping mum bcoz there are no jobs available in the market and I am doing my best, In fact as this is an automotive industry it takes time to materialise and everywhere is there is a slowdown in business. I would not like to give reasons but still it becomes difficult to survive. Plz advice and help.

Ans: Dear SK, I can only imagine the agony that you are going through and I have been coaching many people on this since the time the lockdown began.

None of us knew what the Pandemic would mean and what it would do to our businesses or work or home. It has managed to create new situations that we have no idea of how to handle.

This has caused a lot of anxiety and strain and we have perhaps begun to imagine the worst.

But what if I tell you that the situation is changing and so will the situation at your office?

Will you be inclined to believe that?

Even the top management is behaving in a wayward manner as this is all new to them; especially working from home for many and not much facetime which I guess as a Sales guy you are used to.

Since the response from the markets are not so good, it is bound to show up as a poor performance on your record, this is a valid concern…but to go into work, everyday keeping this in mind may not be effective even with the smallest of tasks as the anxiety keeps you on the edge not doing much but worrying to save your job.

Also, what happened to your colleague may not happen to you. So why focus all your energies on something that may not happen?

Instead, simply focus on ‘realistic’ targets that are achievable at this time.

Also, since you have joined only early this year, I do feel, it is imperative for you to know really your hierarchy and reporting structure. If there are conflicts at the top and you are bearing the brunt, either you need to roll up your sleeves and ace the politics that possibly others are facing too or simply do what you can.

Step back and observe what is going on and for this, you need to be a little calm to understand the WHY of 4 bosses!

It may all but be an imagined stress and it might just need a bit of a tweak to be in a better rapport with each of them.

Sometimes, what is little, becomes big in the mind as it is cluttered with a lot of if and buts with either lack of information or simply creating stories out of apprehensions and fears.

Please take care of your health and this helps keeping the mind in a better space to deal with what is going on.

Ultimately, tell yourself: “NOTHING IS WORTH STRESSING OVER SO MUCH. Everything falls into place, once I take charge!”

Take charge and take care of your health. Best wishes.

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