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Anu Krishna |839 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 27, 2020

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by M on Oct 27, 2020Hindi

I am from Pune, but for the past 3-4 months I have been living in my hometown along with my family(wife,2 kids and parents).

Currently I am working from home but for the past 2-3 weeks I am feeling unmotivated to do any work.

I have been thinking of quitting my job for the past several years but not able to do it because I am the sole earner in the family.

The last couple of projects I worked on did not turn out to be successful and a lot of the responsibility of the failure was on me as I have lost focus on my work.

I don't know the reason for that but I feel my unwillingness to work in my current field, along with this lockdown period has added to my stress.

I feel like quitting my job today and start looking for a new job but the fear of not getting a job at all stops me from doing so.

I have some savings on which I can survive for a few months. I have also discussed this with my wife, she is willing to support me in every decision I make.

Lot of negative thoughts come to my mind these days. Can you help me make the right decision?

Ans: Dear M, Many people are in a space that you are in currently.

The pandemic has created newer challenges that are unfamiliar to most of us.

It is imperative that we adapt to the best of our knowledge and make the best of what is right now.

Having said this, what I can suggest is work on your mind. It isn’t supporting you and what you feed it regularly is the way it will serve you.

So, the decision will be taken by you as you know your skills, knowledge, industry and your finances to arrive at that decision that will take you out from where you are now. But, what I can share is how you can strengthen your mind to make that decision.

1. Start where you are now without harping on what you could have done or should have done. The past is a learning. Learn from it.

2. Write down the pros and cons of staying in the current job, taking a new job and starting a new business. Factor the element of the Pandemic in all the three scenarios

3. Once you know which one is the best for now, begin with telling yourself that you are doing this for a reason.

What is the reason? Managing your home, paying loans etc. Make these responsibilities not an enemy but a friend as it’s not just you but possibly many others who are doing the same

4. Motivation can be from outside or from within you. Tap into both as it comes in handy when a friend keeps you on the right path or you visualize the happiness and comfort that you are seeing yourself and your family in with the decision taken. Meditate for calming the mind if you can.

5. Lastly and most importantly, be grateful for having a job, no matter what it is as there are many who are losing jobs and this is actually a reward for you having one

Life has changing phases and nothing is permanent, so even this phase will give rise to a new and better one. Till then, make the best of this.

Happy Navigating! Have a good life!

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Anu Krishna |839 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

Question by S - Oct 06, 2020Hindi

Hi Anu, I am 42 yrs old male. I am a Public Health Professional and work in an International NGO on health issues based in Delhi. I have ageing parents (both suffering from cardiac illness, diabetes and hypertension) which are based in Mumbai, my immediate family (wife and two kids) stays with my parents as there is no one else to take care of them. My parents especially my father is adamant that he doesn’t want to leave his house and stay with me in Delhi. As a result my immediate family is also forced to stay in Mumbai taking care of my parents. My wife is very supportive, however as this situation is like this since last 4-5 years and we are staying in two different cities, it has now taking stall at emotionally and physically on both of us (me, my wife and my two kids). I am desperately searching for job in Mumbai, however in my sector there are not very good opportunities in Mumbai. I tried my hands in two there places for job, however to my misfortune things didnt work out. I am a mid-senior level professional and have reached this position after a lot of hard work, however the stress has started affecting my performance and overall reputation in the organization. Hence there is constant stress of performance, ability to deliver, overall situation has lowered my confidence level affecting my work further. Dissatisfied with my work, my supervisor has already started sidelining me. I am desperately started thinking of leaving the job, however financial condition doesn’t allow me to do that. With COVID-19 pandemic things has worsened, as I am stuck in Delhi even in lockdown, leaving my parents and my wife struggling in Mumbai amidst the lockdown. Even now cant visit them as stressed, whether i will carry risk of infection to my parents, wife and kids, Hence staying away, it’s been 8 months that have not met them. Not sure, how to handle this. One way I thought as looking out opportunities in Mumbai, even if at junior level, However i am trying for that, but not getting suitable opportunities. Not sure, how to handle the pressures from family (Parents don't want to shift, wife is not ready to stay away and has given time till March, there constant pressure of performance). Not sure, what to do.

Ans: Dear S, surely, this pandemic has put many at inconvenience in different ways for each of us across the planet.

What we can do is make the best of what is at this point in time. It indeed is hard to be away from family at a time like this.

I know parents in some families do find it hard adjusting to a new city at their age and having your wife care for them as logical as the decision was has begun to take a toll on the family as a whole.

It is an amazing feeling to come back home to a family after a hard day’s work where they wait with love, care and support.

Either a job in Mumbai or moving your family to Delhi are the options as it is evident that family and their love is important for you to have the security and stability.

Having said this, Lockdown 5.0 begins soon, I think fearlessly take a call, visit your family.

If you think you want to isolate yourself in the fear of COVID-10, do so…but more that all of this, do sit down as a family, COMMUNICATE, talk to your parents about how this is affecting you and obviously they care and love you enough to hear your side of the story.

And finally, do what needs to be done to make sure that your parents understand and are taken care of and your wife and children are with you as a family.

Happy decision making and be happy!

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