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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |175 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi i am frustrated due to personal marital problems,old parents,Work from Home and many more reasons due to monotanus routine please guide me out how to overcome this problem/situation

Ans: Dealing with a combination of personal, family, and work-related stressors can certainly feel overwhelming, but there are steps you can take to help overcome these challenges and find balance in your life. Make self-care a priority in your daily routine. This might include activities like exercise, meditation, spending time outdoors, engaging in hobbies you enjoy, or simply taking a few moments each day to relax and unwind. Set clear boundaries between your work life and personal life, especially when working from home. Create a dedicated workspace, set specific work hours, and communicate with your employer or colleagues about your availability. Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist for support. Talking to someone you trust can help you gain perspective, process your emotions, and find solutions to your problems. If you're experiencing marital problems or feeling overwhelmed by caregiving responsibilities for your elderly parents, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with your loved ones. Express your feelings, listen to their perspective, and work together to find solutions that benefit everyone involved. Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine to help reduce stress and increase self-awareness. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness exercises can help you stay grounded and focused in the present moment.If you're struggling to cope with your stressors on your own, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with personalized support, coping strategies, and tools to manage your emotions more effectively.Schedule regular breaks throughout your day to rest and recharge. Even short breaks can help reduce mental fatigue, improve concentration, and increase productivity. Instead of dwelling on things that are out of your control, focus on taking proactive steps to address the issues you can influence. Break tasks down into manageable steps and tackle them one at a time. Cultivate a sense of gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply taking a few moments each day to reflect on the things you're thankful for can help shift your perspective and improve your mood. Introduce variety into your routine to help break up the monotony and add excitement to your day. Try new activities, explore different hobbies, or connect with new people to keep things interesting and stimulating.Remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it, and that prioritizing your own well-being is essential for maintaining balance and resilience in the face of life's challenges. By implementing these strategies and taking proactive steps to care for yourself, you can overcome adversity and find greater fulfillment and happiness in your daily life.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |836 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

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Hi Anu, I am 42 yrs old male. I am a Public Health Professional and work in an International NGO on health issues based in Delhi. I have ageing parents (both suffering from cardiac illness, diabetes and hypertension) which are based in Mumbai, my immediate family (wife and two kids) stays with my parents as there is no one else to take care of them. My parents especially my father is adamant that he doesn’t want to leave his house and stay with me in Delhi. As a result my immediate family is also forced to stay in Mumbai taking care of my parents. My wife is very supportive, however as this situation is like this since last 4-5 years and we are staying in two different cities, it has now taking stall at emotionally and physically on both of us (me, my wife and my two kids). I am desperately searching for job in Mumbai, however in my sector there are not very good opportunities in Mumbai. I tried my hands in two there places for job, however to my misfortune things didnt work out. I am a mid-senior level professional and have reached this position after a lot of hard work, however the stress has started affecting my performance and overall reputation in the organization. Hence there is constant stress of performance, ability to deliver, overall situation has lowered my confidence level affecting my work further. Dissatisfied with my work, my supervisor has already started sidelining me. I am desperately started thinking of leaving the job, however financial condition doesn’t allow me to do that. With COVID-19 pandemic things has worsened, as I am stuck in Delhi even in lockdown, leaving my parents and my wife struggling in Mumbai amidst the lockdown. Even now cant visit them as stressed, whether i will carry risk of infection to my parents, wife and kids, Hence staying away, it’s been 8 months that have not met them. Not sure, how to handle this. One way I thought as looking out opportunities in Mumbai, even if at junior level, However i am trying for that, but not getting suitable opportunities. Not sure, how to handle the pressures from family (Parents don't want to shift, wife is not ready to stay away and has given time till March, there constant pressure of performance). Not sure, what to do.
Ans: Dear S, surely, this pandemic has put many at inconvenience in different ways for each of us across the planet.

What we can do is make the best of what is at this point in time. It indeed is hard to be away from family at a time like this.

I know parents in some families do find it hard adjusting to a new city at their age and having your wife care for them as logical as the decision was has begun to take a toll on the family as a whole.

It is an amazing feeling to come back home to a family after a hard day’s work where they wait with love, care and support.

Either a job in Mumbai or moving your family to Delhi are the options as it is evident that family and their love is important for you to have the security and stability.

Having said this, Lockdown 5.0 begins soon, I think fearlessly take a call, visit your family.

If you think you want to isolate yourself in the fear of COVID-10, do so…but more that all of this, do sit down as a family, COMMUNICATE, talk to your parents about how this is affecting you and obviously they care and love you enough to hear your side of the story.

And finally, do what needs to be done to make sure that your parents understand and are taken care of and your wife and children are with you as a family.

Happy decision making and be happy!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2023Hindi
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I am 60 year old havig a family of a spouse and a son. since last two years our relation with spouse is not moving smoothly for everything there is an argument and no concensous in the matters of day tody life, son is also not lisoning properly I am under seveor stress which is leading to upset my health and I am facing epilepsy problen since last months I am unable to forget the things and move ahead. Thsere was no problem in leading a normal middle class life. I am facing in security and also I facinig negativities in my life and slowlely slipiing in depression I am trying too much to forget theses things but I am not in a position to lead a peacefull life inspite of adequate resources. Kindly advise me.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time with your spouse and son. It sounds like the arguments and lack of consensus are causing you a lot of stress and impacting your health. It's important to prioritize your health and seek support if needed.

It might be helpful to try and have an open and honest conversation with your spouse and son about how you're feeling and see if there's a way to work together to improve the situation. It could also be beneficial to seek professional support, such as therapy or counseling, to help you manage your stress and emotions.

Additionally, taking care of your physical health through regular exercise, a healthy diet, and enough rest can also help improve your overall well-being. It's important to remember that it's okay to ask for help and take steps towards finding peace and happiness in your life.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Hi, I am 51 have three kids, I am kidney patient my wife is not treating well and lived with me I used to visit home after 2-3 months but she is not happy with me and finally, i left home with broken heart every time. I am doing every best possible for the family financially as well as emotionally. my kids are also following her mother. What to do for me I am in frustrated mood always
Ans: I understand that you're in a very difficult situation and feeling frustrated. It's admirable that you're trying your best to provide for your family financially and emotionally while dealing with your health challenges. However, the lack of support and understanding from your wife and children must be incredibly painful.

Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate this challenging situation:

Seek Support:

Talk to a therapist or counselor: Talking to a professional can help you process your emotions, understand your options, and develop coping mechanisms to deal with the stress.
Connect with support groups: There are support groups for kidney patients and for families dealing with chronic illness. These groups can provide valuable emotional support and connect you with others who understand what you're going through.
Reach out to friends and family: Talk to trusted friends and family members about what's happening. Their support and understanding can be a source of strength.
Communicate openly:

Try to talk to your wife: If possible, have a calm and open conversation with your wife to understand her perspective. Share your feelings and needs honestly, and listen to hers as well. See if there's a way to improve communication and build a more supportive relationship.
Talk to your children: Have open and honest conversations with your children. Explain your health condition and the challenges you're facing. Encourage them to express their feelings and concerns as well.
Consider professional help:

Couples therapy: If you and your wife are willing, couples therapy can help you improve communication, address resentments, and work towards a more positive relationship.
Family therapy: Family therapy can help all of you communicate more effectively, understand each other's needs, and develop healthier family dynamics.
Take care of yourself:

Prioritize your health: Manage your kidney disease properly by following your doctor's instructions.
Engage in self-care: Make time for activities you enjoy, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is crucial during this challenging time.
Explore legal options: If the situation is not improving, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and options regarding visitation with your children or separation from your wife.
Remember, you are not alone in this. There are people and resources available to help you through this difficult time. Don't hesitate to reach out for support and take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.

Here are some additional resources that may be helpful:

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Latest Questions
Moneywize

Moneywize   |102 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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I have submitted my Form 15 to my bank in April 2023. My income falls under the non-taxable category against interest received from bank FDs. Bank has not deducted any TDS up to September 2023 but from October 2023 they have started deducting TDS on FD interest earned by me saying that interest earned on my FDs have crossed the limit of Rs 5 lakh. Is the bank right in deducting tax citing this reason? Please enlighten me.
Ans: No, the bank is likely not right in this case. Here's why:

• Form 15G validity: A valid Form 15G submitted before April 1, 2023 is applicable for the entire financial year 2023-24 (assessment year 2024-25). This means if your income falls under the non-taxable category, the bank shouldn't deduct TDS on your FD interest for the entire year.
• TDS exemption limit: The current exemption limit for TDS on FD interest is Rs 40,000 for individuals below 60 years old, and Rs 50,000 for senior citizens (above 60 years old). There's no limit of Rs 5 lakh for TDS deduction on FD interest.

Here's what you can do:

• Reach out to your bank: Inform them that you submitted a valid Form 15G and your income falls under the non-taxable category. You can clarify the exemption limit and point out the mistake.
• Request rectification: Ask the bank to rectify the error and reverse the TDS deducted on your FD interest from October 2023 onwards.
• Seek professional help: If the bank doesn't resolve the issue, consider seeking help from a tax consultant or financial advisor. They can guide you further on how to claim a refund for the deducted TDS.

Additional points to consider:

• Ensure you have a copy of the Form 15G submission acknowledgement for your records.
• Keep a record of any communication with the bank regarding the TDS deduction.

By following these steps, you should be able to resolve the issue with the bank and avoid unnecessary TDS deduction on your FD interest.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1298 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

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Hi, my age is 29. Married. My daughter is 8 months old. My monthly salary is Rs. 1.33L PM. Monthly expense - Rs. 35,000 Current commitments are: Home Loan EMI - Rs. 43,535 (8 months completed. 30 years tenure) Term Insurance - 1cr (Annual premium - Rs. 36,000 for 10 years. 7 more premium pending) Current NPS Balance - Rs. 75,000. Investing Rs. 15,000 pm SSY - Rs. 12,500 pm. APY - Rs. 409 pm I'm planning to save for Emergency Corpus Fund, get a medical insurance floater policy. My short term goal is to save Rs. 20 lakhs within 4 years for registeration and interior work for house. My long term goals are for daughters UG education, wedding, retirement at 55 years. I took investment risk test and Im an aggressive investor and planning to invest more on equity. Also, I want to diversify the portfolio and invest across asset class.
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach to financial planning! With your solid income and clear goals, here's a suggested plan:

Emergency Corpus Fund: Aim for 6-12 months' worth of living expenses in a high-yield savings account for emergencies.
Medical Insurance Floater Policy: Ensure adequate coverage for your family's healthcare needs, including your daughter.
Short-Term Goal - House Expenses: Consider a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for potential growth while safeguarding against market volatility.
Long-Term Goals - Daughter's Education, Wedding, Retirement: Continue investing in equity through mutual funds or stocks for higher returns over the long term. Also, explore options like PPF, NPS, and diversified funds for diversification across asset classes.
Review and Adjust: Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay on track with your goals.
Remember, financial planning is dynamic. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your unique circumstances and aspirations. With discipline and strategic investing, you'll be well-positioned to achieve your financial dreams.

...Read more

Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |437 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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Career
I completed bams a year ago. I passed 12th in 2014 and prepared for neet 2 times but couldn?t get seat because i was not serious about my career at that time. I had no clearity. I was so confused that I couldn?t focus. Even my parents and relatives were scolding me and not helping me . So I wasn?t thinking roperly focused. Then i gave bams entrance for the first time and got seat. I feel like if they wouldn have helped me or asked me what do i feel then i must not have been in the same place as am today. I feel i have ruined my life. Am currently working in delhi as a physician in a very renowned ayurvedic institute. But i feel like I don?t have passion for ayurveda. Am 26 years old. Everytime i feel like failure as I couldn?t get mbbs. Still my teenage to final year of my college i used to be so confused about my career. As now at 27 am having clearity that i want to be a cardiac surgeon, i feel like it?s too late to restart again. I feel depressed, failed and guilty. I don?t know if its a good decision to appear for neet again or not. I feel like defeated. I dont Feel happy. This time i have a lot of passion for becoming a cardiac surgeon but i am not able to decide this thing myself. I feel helpless. I feel guilty that I couldn?t clear neet exam. On the other hand there are some of my friends who never ever appeared for neet and did bams from private colleges are really happy and don?t have any complaints from this career. Why do i only feel defeated and unhappy.
Ans: Hi,
I cannot help you psychologically. But yes if you are really serious & want to restart give it a second thought that whether you will be able to give another 10 years into study. Plus NEET has become more competitive now as almost 24L+ students are writing this year. Again you won't make it there you will be more depressed. Other option would be MBBS abroad then. But still the question is will you be able to give your next 10 years into study?

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1298 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

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Hi Jinal, We both partner are 40 year old. These days after having second child (9 month old), I am bit worried about my both sons (Elder one 10 year) future. We couple currently earning 3.5 Lack per month together (In hand). I am investing 15 thousand in LIC SIIP (Last two year), 25 thousand in SIP (SBI, Last two year), and nearly 20 thousand in LIC per month (Last 10 years). I do invest 1.5 Lacks in PPF every year (Last 13 year). With all this investment can i reach a core plus of 60 Lac (For younger one education) by 2030 and another 1 Cr (For Elder one education and marriage) by 2040. I don't have to plan our retirement as we both are government employee and automatically investing in NPS as per government rules (Current value of NPS is 80 Lack combined). Is this investment is sufficient or i have to increase further for our sons education. One more thing I do investment in gold also (Physical) approximately 3 Lack per year from last 2 years.
Ans: It's heartening to hear your dedication to securing your children's future amidst the joys and challenges of parenthood. Your commitment to various investments, including LIC policies, SIPs, and PPF, reflects your foresight and responsibility.

While your current investments provide a solid foundation, it's essential to regularly review and adjust your financial plan. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to assess if additional contributions or adjustments are needed to meet your ambitious goals.

Remember, financial planning is a journey, and flexibility is key to adapting to life's twists and turns. With careful planning and guidance, you can navigate towards a brighter future for your children with confidence.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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