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Anu Krishna |1437 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by S on Oct 06, 2020Hindi

Hi Anu, I am 42 yrs old male. I am a Public Health Professional and work in an International NGO on health issues based in Delhi.

I have ageing parents (both suffering from cardiac illness, diabetes and hypertension) which are based in Mumbai, my immediate family (wife and two kids) stays with my parents as there is no one else to take care of them.

My parents especially my father is adamant that he doesn’t want to leave his house and stay with me in Delhi.

As a result my immediate family is also forced to stay in Mumbai taking care of my parents.

My wife is very supportive, however as this situation is like this since last 4-5 years and we are staying in two different cities, it has now taking stall at emotionally and physically on both of us (me, my wife and my two kids).

I am desperately searching for job in Mumbai, however in my sector there are not very good opportunities in Mumbai.

I tried my hands in two there places for job, however to my misfortune things didnt work out.

I am a mid-senior level professional and have reached this position after a lot of hard work, however the stress has started affecting my performance and overall reputation in the organization.

Hence there is constant stress of performance, ability to deliver, overall situation has lowered my confidence level affecting my work further.

Dissatisfied with my work, my supervisor has already started sidelining me. I am desperately started thinking of leaving the job, however financial condition doesn’t allow me to do that.

With COVID-19 pandemic things has worsened, as I am stuck in Delhi even in lockdown, leaving my parents and my wife struggling in Mumbai amidst the lockdown.

Even now cant visit them as stressed, whether i will carry risk of infection to my parents, wife and kids, Hence staying away, it’s been 8 months that have not met them.

Not sure, how to handle this. One way I thought as looking out opportunities in Mumbai, even if at junior level, However i am trying for that, but not getting suitable opportunities.

Not sure, how to handle the pressures from family (Parents don't want to shift, wife is not ready to stay away and has given time till March, there constant pressure of performance). Not sure, what to do.

Ans: Dear S, surely, this pandemic has put many at inconvenience in different ways for each of us across the planet.

What we can do is make the best of what is at this point in time. It indeed is hard to be away from family at a time like this.

I know parents in some families do find it hard adjusting to a new city at their age and having your wife care for them as logical as the decision was has begun to take a toll on the family as a whole.

It is an amazing feeling to come back home to a family after a hard day’s work where they wait with love, care and support.

Either a job in Mumbai or moving your family to Delhi are the options as it is evident that family and their love is important for you to have the security and stability.

Having said this, Lockdown 5.0 begins soon, I think fearlessly take a call, visit your family.

If you think you want to isolate yourself in the fear of COVID-10, do so…but more that all of this, do sit down as a family, COMMUNICATE, talk to your parents about how this is affecting you and obviously they care and love you enough to hear your side of the story.

And finally, do what needs to be done to make sure that your parents understand and are taken care of and your wife and children are with you as a family.

Happy decision making and be happy!

RelationshipReply

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Mayank Rautela | Answer |Ask -Follow

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Question by Anonymous - May 18, 2022Hindi

Dear Mayank Sir, I am facing a difficult problem both personally and professionally. Last year, I took the decision to move back home, which is in a small town, because both my parents had survived COVID but have been facing major health issues since then. I am their only child. As a result, I had to leave a job where my prospects were very good and I was enjoying my work very much. Also, I was living in a big city, independent of my parents whom I love very much. It is a struggle to be back at home with them. They still treat me like a small child with advice and questions at every step. Workwise too, the job is a huge stepdown and the money, though decent, is less that what I used to earn. Responsibilities and challenges, which I used to enjoy, are less too. I have to stay here for one more year at least before I can make plans to move out again. The stress from home is spilling out at my job and the irritation at work is spilling out at home. How do I handle this? Am going crazy. Please help.

Ans:

Hi.

I appreciate the fact that you sacrificed your job to take care of your parents.

Ideally, you should go back to a larger city and restart your career. I am sure your past employer would be open to taking you back.

If that is not possible, then you need to have a candid discussion with your parents and make them understand that their constant involvement in your life is not acceptable.

They may be doing it out of love but, since it is negatively impacting you, they need to give you space.

Please don’t change your job in your hometown as that will further complicate your situation.

Career

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