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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Vivek Question by Vivek on Mar 19, 2024Hindi
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Hi, my age is 29. Married. My daughter is 8 months old. My monthly salary is Rs. 1.33L PM. Monthly expense - Rs. 35,000 Current commitments are: Home Loan EMI - Rs. 43,535 (8 months completed. 30 years tenure) Term Insurance - 1cr (Annual premium - Rs. 36,000 for 10 years. 7 more premium pending) Current NPS Balance - Rs. 75,000. Investing Rs. 15,000 pm SSY - Rs. 12,500 pm. APY - Rs. 409 pm I'm planning to save for Emergency Corpus Fund, get a medical insurance floater policy. My short term goal is to save Rs. 20 lakhs within 4 years for registeration and interior work for house. My long term goals are for daughters UG education, wedding, retirement at 55 years. I took investment risk test and Im an aggressive investor and planning to invest more on equity. Also, I want to diversify the portfolio and invest across asset class.

Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach to financial planning! With your solid income and clear goals, here's a suggested plan:

Emergency Corpus Fund: Aim for 6-12 months' worth of living expenses in a high-yield savings account for emergencies.
Medical Insurance Floater Policy: Ensure adequate coverage for your family's healthcare needs, including your daughter.
Short-Term Goal - House Expenses: Consider a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for potential growth while safeguarding against market volatility.
Long-Term Goals - Daughter's Education, Wedding, Retirement: Continue investing in equity through mutual funds or stocks for higher returns over the long term. Also, explore options like PPF, NPS, and diversified funds for diversification across asset classes.
Review and Adjust: Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay on track with your goals.
Remember, financial planning is dynamic. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your unique circumstances and aspirations. With discipline and strategic investing, you'll be well-positioned to achieve your financial dreams.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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Hi, My age is 28. Married. My daughter is 4 months old. My monthly salary is Rs. 1.22L PM. Monthly expense - Rs. 35,000 Current commitments are: Home Loan EMI - Rs. 36,011 (4 months completed. 30 years tenure) Term Insurance - 1cr (Annual premium - Rs. 36,000 for 10 years. 7 more premium pending) Current NPS Balance - Rs. 75,000. Investing Rs. 15,000 pm SSY - Rs. 12,500 pm. APY - Rs. 409 pm I'm planning to save for Emergency Corpus Fund, get a medical insurance floater policy. My short term goal is to save Rs. 20 lakhs within 4 years for registeration and interior work for house. My long term goals are for daughters UG education, wedding, retirement at 55 years. I took investment risk test and Im an aggressive investor and planning to invest more on equity. Also, I want to diversify the portfolio and invest across asset class.
Ans: It sounds like you've got a clear vision for your financial future, which is fantastic, especially at your age. With your goals in mind and being an aggressive investor, here's a potential strategy to consider:

Emergency Corpus Fund: Aim for at least 6-12 months' worth of expenses. Start with setting aside a portion of your savings each month until you reach this target.
Medical Insurance: A comprehensive floater policy covering your family is essential. Ensure the coverage amount is adequate to handle potential medical emergencies without denting your savings.
Short-term Goals - House: For the Rs. 20 lakhs target in 4 years, consider equity mutual funds with a mix of mid-cap and large-cap funds. You could also consider debt funds or fixed deposits for stability.
Long-term Goals:
Daughter's UG Education: Equity mutual funds can be a great option, given your aggressive risk profile. Start with diversified equity funds and gradually shift to balanced or hybrid funds as the goal approaches.
Daughter's Wedding: Again, equity mutual funds can be beneficial here. Also, considering gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds can be a good diversification strategy.
Retirement: NPS is a good start, given its tax benefits and long-term nature. You might want to increase your contributions over time. Additionally, diversify with equity mutual funds and other retirement-oriented funds.
Diversification Across Asset Classes:
Equity: You're already inclined towards equity, so continue investing in diversified equity funds, large-cap, mid-cap, and maybe even some small-cap funds.
Debt: Given your aggressive stance, limit this to around 20-30% of your portfolio. Short to medium-term debt funds or fixed deposits can be considered.
Gold: Gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds can be a good hedge against market volatility.
Real Estate: Since you're planning for a house, that's a good start. Real estate can be an excellent long-term investment, but ensure it doesn't over-concentrate your portfolio.
Regular Review: As your life progresses, your financial goals and risk appetite may evolve. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your portfolio ensures you stay on track.
Remember, while being aggressive can offer higher returns, it also comes with increased volatility. It's crucial to stay invested for the long term and avoid reacting to short-term market fluctuations. Consulting with a financial advisor can help tailor this strategy further to your needs and provide ongoing guidance.

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Moneywize

Moneywize   |174 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Jan 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2024Hindi
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Hi, My age is 38. Married. My daughter is 4 years old. My monthly salary is Rs. 1.02 lakh . Monthly expense - Rs. 30,000 and Current commitments are: Home Loan EMI - Rs. 32,011 (4 months completed. 20 years tenure) Term Insurance - 75 lakh (Annual premium - Rs. 32,000 for 10 years. 7 more premium pending) Current NPS Balance - Rs. 100,000. Investing Rs. 25,000 pm SSY - Rs. 15,000 pm. APY - Rs. 509 pm I'm planning to save for emergency corpus fund, get a medical insurance floater policy. My short term goal is to save Rs. 15 lakh within 5 years for registeration and interior work for house. My long term goals are for daughter's graduation, post-graduation and wedding, retirement at 58 years. I took investment risk as I am an aggressive investor and planning to invest more in stocks. Also, I want to diversify the portfolio and invest across asset class. What would you suggest?
Ans: It's great that you have a clear understanding of your financial goals and have started making investments. Here are some suggestions to align your investment strategy with your goals:

Emergency Corpus Fund:

• Aim for at least 3-6 months' worth of living expenses as an emergency corpus. Given your monthly expenses are Rs. 30,000, target an emergency fund of Rs. 90,000 to Rs. 1,80,000.
• Consider keeping this fund in a liquid or easily accessible instrument like a savings account or a short-term fixed deposit.

Medical Insurance:

• Get a comprehensive family floater health insurance policy. Ensure that the coverage is adequate to handle medical expenses for you, your spouse, and your daughter. The coverage should include hospitalisation expenses, critical illness coverage, and other relevant features.
• Review your policy periodically to make sure it remains adequate for your family's needs.

Short-Term Goal (Rs. 15 lakh in 5 years):

• Consider a mix of equity and debt instruments to achieve this goal. Since it's a short-term goal, a balanced approach is advisable. You may allocate a portion to equity mutual funds and the rest to fixed-income instruments like debt mutual funds, recurring deposits, or short-term bonds.
• Regularly monitor the progress towards your short-term goal and make adjustments as needed.

Long-Term Goals (Daughter's education, marriage, retirement):

• Since you have a long investment horizon for your daughter's education, marriage, and your retirement, you can afford to take more risk. Continue investing in equity-oriented instruments for these goals.
• Diversify across asset classes such as equity mutual funds, Public Provident Fund (PPF), Employee Provident Fund (EPF), and other suitable investment options.
• Gradually increase your equity exposure and consider allocating a portion to international funds for additional diversification.

Diversification and Asset Allocation:

• Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified across different asset classes (equity, debt, gold) to manage risk effectively.
• Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.
• Keep an eye on the performance of individual investments and make adjustments if needed.

Regular Review and Monitoring:

• Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments based on changes in your goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions.
• Reassess your insurance needs periodically to make sure your coverage aligns with your family's requirements.
• As your income increases, consider increasing your monthly investments to align with your financial goals.

Remember, it's crucial to consult with a financial advisor to tailor a plan that suits your specific needs and risk tolerance. Adjust your strategy as life circumstances change, and stay disciplined in your long-term investment approach.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

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Hello sir, Myself Prakash, age 31. I am a salaried person (married) working in private sector and my in hand salary is 50k. I have joint bank loan of 33L for 20 years for our house jointly by three of us (brothers) in which I am paying 9-9.5k per month (4 yrs already passed). My monthly expenses are approx 35k. I have a Emergency Corpus of 1.5L. I have a term insurance policy of 1 cr with a premium of 1.7k to be paid till 2032. I have health insurance also for my family with premium of 1.5k We also have covered our parents in separate health policy of premium 40-42k per year split equally between three of us. Pls suggest investment for my below mentioned goals. A. Short term goal 1. Small Car after 6 yrs of approx 7-8L 2. Own house after 15 years of approx 35-40L B. Long term goal 1. Child education fund after 17 yrs of 15L 2. Child marriage fund after 24 yrs of 25 L 3. Retirement fund after 24 yrs which would give me monthly 50k. Pls advise.
Ans: Dear Prakash,

It's great to see your proactive approach towards financial planning, especially with such diverse goals. Let's outline a comprehensive investment strategy to help you achieve your short and long-term objectives.

Your dedication to securing your family's future through meticulous financial planning is truly commendable and sets a strong example for responsible wealth management.

Short-Term Goals
Small Car Purchase (6 Years):
Savings Approach:
Allocate a portion of your monthly savings towards a dedicated fund for the small car purchase. Aim to save at least 7-8 lakhs over the next 6 years.
Own House (15 Years):
Investment Strategy:
Consider long-term investment options such as mutual funds or Public Provident Fund (PPF) to accumulate the required down payment for your future house. Aim for a corpus of 35-40 lakhs in 15 years.
Long-Term Goals
Child Education Fund (17 Years):
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):
Start a SIP in equity mutual funds or balanced funds to build a corpus of 15 lakhs for your child's education over the next 17 years. Opt for a diversified portfolio to manage risk.
Child Marriage Fund (24 Years):
Strategic Investing:
Begin investing in equity-oriented instruments or a combination of equity and debt to accumulate 25 lakhs for your child's marriage expenses over 24 years. Review and adjust your investment portfolio periodically.
Retirement Fund (24 Years):
Retirement Planning:
To generate a monthly income of 50,000 post-retirement, focus on building a substantial retirement corpus through a mix of equity, debt, and other income-generating assets.
Diversified Portfolio:
Invest systematically in retirement-oriented mutual funds, National Pension System (NPS), and other retirement-focused investment avenues. Ensure a balanced allocation to minimize risk and maximize returns.
Risk Management and Insurance
Term Insurance:

Your existing term insurance coverage of 1 crore provides essential financial protection for your family. Continue paying premiums regularly to maintain coverage.
Health Insurance:

Maintain your health insurance coverage for your family and parents to safeguard against unforeseen medical expenses. Consider reviewing your policy periodically to ensure adequate coverage.
Conclusion
By adopting a disciplined approach to saving and investing, you can effectively achieve your short and long-term financial goals. Remember to periodically reassess your financial plan and make necessary adjustments to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
Money
Im 33 yers old earning 1.9L per month I have 5L in MF 3.5L in PPF 2L in NPS n 4L in stock market making a sip of 20k in MF ,PPF10k, NPS 5k ,gold 12k every month and having a home loan of 60L paying EMI currently 60K. Please help me are my investment planning is good where I should investment my goal to achieve good corpus for my daughter education and marriage now she is 5 months old.
Ans: First, congratulations on being proactive about your financial planning at a young age. At 33, you have a stable income of Rs. 1.9 lakhs per month and a diversified portfolio. Your investments include Rs. 5 lakhs in mutual funds, Rs. 3.5 lakhs in PPF, Rs. 2 lakhs in NPS, and Rs. 4 lakhs in the stock market. You are also making a SIP of Rs. 20,000 in mutual funds, Rs. 10,000 in PPF, Rs. 5,000 in NPS, and Rs. 12,000 in gold every month. Additionally, you have a home loan of Rs. 60 lakhs with an EMI of Rs. 60,000.

Evaluating Your Investment Strategy
Your investment strategy shows a balanced approach with exposure to various asset classes. However, let's analyze and optimize your investments to ensure you achieve your goals for your daughter's education and marriage.

Diversifying Your Portfolio
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a great way to grow your wealth. You have Rs. 5 lakhs invested in mutual funds and are contributing Rs. 20,000 monthly through SIPs. Ensure you are investing in a mix of equity and debt funds to balance risk and returns. Equity funds can provide high growth over the long term, while debt funds offer stability.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe investment with tax benefits and guaranteed returns. Your Rs. 3.5 lakhs investment in PPF is good for long-term goals due to its 15-year lock-in period. Your monthly contribution of Rs. 10,000 is also beneficial.

National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a good option for retirement planning with tax benefits. Your Rs. 2 lakhs investment in NPS and Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution are helping you build a retirement corpus.

Stock Market
Direct stock investments can provide high returns but come with higher risk. Your Rs. 4 lakhs investment in the stock market adds an aggressive growth component to your portfolio. Regularly review and manage your stock investments to mitigate risks.

Gold
Gold is a good hedge against inflation and market volatility. Your monthly investment of Rs. 12,000 in gold is a prudent strategy for diversification.

Managing Your Home Loan
Your Rs. 60 lakhs home loan with an EMI of Rs. 60,000 is a significant commitment. Ensure you maintain an emergency fund to cover at least 6-12 months of EMIs to safeguard against financial uncertainties.

Optimizing Your Investments for Your Goals
Goal 1: Daughter’s Education
Assuming your daughter will need funds for higher education in 18 years, you should focus on long-term growth investments.

Increase SIP in Equity Mutual Funds: Equity mutual funds can offer high returns over the long term. Consider increasing your SIP contributions in equity funds to build a substantial corpus for her education.

Child Education Plan: Consider investing in child-specific mutual fund schemes designed to meet education expenses. These funds often come with a lock-in period, ensuring the money is saved for the intended purpose.

Goal 2: Daughter’s Marriage
Assuming your daughter’s marriage in 25-30 years, you need to plan for a significant corpus.

Balanced Mutual Funds: Invest in balanced or hybrid mutual funds which provide a mix of equity and debt exposure. They offer growth with stability and are suitable for long-term goals.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Continue with your SIPs in mutual funds and consider increasing the amount gradually as your income grows. This disciplined approach will help in accumulating the required funds.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Professional Management

Mutual funds are managed by professional fund managers who have the expertise to make investment decisions.

Diversification

Mutual funds invest in a diverse range of securities, which helps spread risk and reduce volatility.

Liquidity

Mutual funds offer high liquidity, allowing you to redeem units as per your financial needs.

Tax Efficiency

Certain mutual funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C, which can help in tax planning.

Power of Compounding

The returns from mutual funds, when reinvested, can grow exponentially over time, helping in wealth accumulation.

Disadvantages of Real Estate as an Investment
Illiquidity

Real estate investments are not easily converted to cash, making them less liquid than other investments.

Entry and Exit Costs

Buying and selling real estate involves significant costs, including stamp duty, registration fees, and brokerage.

No Partial Withdrawals

Unlike mutual funds, you cannot partially withdraw from a real estate investment. It is an all-or-nothing situation.

White Transactions

Real estate transactions often involve a mix of white and black money, complicating the process and reducing transparency.

Risk Management
Diversification

Diversify your investments across various asset classes to reduce risk. Avoid concentrating too much in one area.

Regular Review

Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Adjust your investments based on performance and market conditions.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund to cover at least 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and invested in safe, liquid instruments.

Insurance

Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance to protect your family against unforeseen events.

Power of Compounding
The power of compounding is a key factor in growing your wealth. By reinvesting the returns from your investments, you earn returns on both the initial principal and the accumulated returns. This exponential growth can significantly enhance your corpus over time.

Seeking Professional Guidance
While you have a solid understanding of investments, consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide you with personalized advice and strategies. A CFP can help you navigate complex financial decisions and ensure your investments are aligned with your goals.

Final Insights
You have made commendable progress in your financial journey at 33 years old. Your diversified investments and disciplined approach are commendable. Here’s a summary of the key steps to enhance your financial plan:

Increase SIPs in Equity Mutual Funds: Boost your contributions to equity mutual funds to build a substantial corpus for your daughter's education and marriage.
Maintain Diversification: Continue diversifying across mutual funds, PPF, NPS, gold, and stocks to balance risk and returns.
Review and Adjust: Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay on track with your goals.
Consult a CFP: Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to refine your investment strategy and achieve your financial objectives.
Your commitment to financial planning and investing for your daughter's future is admirable. With a well-structured plan and disciplined execution, you can achieve your goals and secure a bright future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

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