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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Vaibhav Question by Vaibhav on Oct 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 40 years divorced man. I am off late feeling lonely Looking for relationship but failing to find. Matrimonial sites or events are leading nowhere as I am freelancer. dating apps is just time pass. how do I kill my loneliness. Even do not have much friends. Most of my friends maintain professional do not have genuine friends. don't know how to go about it

Ans: Dear Vaibhav,
Dealing with loneliness can be challenging, but there are various strategies you can consider to build connections and enrich your social life Engage in activities or hobbies you enjoy. This could be a great way to meet like-minded individuals and form connections based on shared interests. Attend workshops, classes, or local meet-ups related to your hobbies. Consider volunteering for a cause you're passionate about. Not only does this provide an opportunity to make a positive impact, but it also allows you to meet new people with similar values. Look for social events, gatherings, or local community activities where you can interact with others. Attend meet-ups, networking events, or social clubs to expand your social circle. While many of your friends maintain professional relationships, consider networking within your industry. Attend conferences, workshops, or industry events where you can meet people with similar professional backgrounds. Reach out to old friends or acquaintances. Sometimes, rekindling past connections can be fulfilling, and they may introduce you to new people Remember that quality connections often come from shared experiences and genuine interactions. Take small steps, be open to new opportunities, and focus on building connections that bring value to your life.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 26, 2023

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Relationship
Hi, I have already been advised once before on a certain crisis I'm faced with. Though along expected lines, it has still come back to haunt me. I was very good friends with a Punjabi girl of a background vastly different from mine. I was very rude to her one day after a certain insensitive act of her's hurt and insulted me. Now she has stopped all communication with me and left me high and dry. Please help me by advising how I should cope with my loneliness now. My friends ask me to read a lot. It might help, but books don't talk to you, do they? They can never be a substitute to a woman's company. I'm thinking of trying to revive a relationship with an old flame, recently divorced. Should I go ahead? Or should I give up on girls altogether and focus on raising my earnings? I'm 49 and at the fag end of my career. Please advise. Thank you. ????
Ans: Dear Kanishka,
Chasing people just to drive loneliness away isn't a great goal to have in the first place. Sooner or later, these people will move away once they realize that you have connected with them to satisfy a need of yours. If they fit the bill, you will have a tendency to avoid them which will only make them feel disrespected.
Connections are based on trust, love and respect.
So, would it be possible for you to make a genuine effort to associate with people with genuine interest in them? This will help foster mutual trust and warmth and maybe lead to a relationship that is not just satisfying your need but is instead nurturing the connection allowing the two of you to explore a long-term relationship.

And do focus on your career as well; it pays your bills and secures your future! A wholesome life is a good aim to have...

All the best!

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  | Answer  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

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Career
Hi, I have been an introvert guy for my whole life, but somehow I always got good colleagues which became great friends. But from last 5 years I am in a office where very few people works and that too they are not connected to me. Hence, I get a very little exposer with them. Feels so much lonely in office as there is not a lot of workload also. Most of my day goes watching reels on social media. Sometimes i forgot when last i smiled/laughed at office place where I spends 9 hours of my day (I do talk to my family over phone, but can't help my loneliness). what can I do....worried... A very lonely 45 year male.....
Ans: Dear Sunil,

No one is clear cut introvert or an extrovert, look at yourself closely too... in some circumstances you behave like an extrovert and some areas you behave like an introvert.

Be brave and say "hi" to people around you in the office, you be the first one to greet, this itself can be a starting point to making new friends. A smile and a pleasant "hi" is all it takes.
Look for opportunities to connect with ppl in the office, instead of sending mails or reminders to ppl electronically, just walk up to them and speak to them or call them up to say you have sent a mail/reminder. This way you can establish a human connect.
Also check if you can go to the dining area to eat lunch and during breaks.. do not sit at your desk and have lunch.
Social media and watching reels is a "big no" if you are yearning for human connections. I am glad you talk to your family...outside the office, join book clubs, singing clubs, drama clubs or anywhere your interest lies...you can join a classroom to learn and develop a new skill....

Also check if you are getting enough sleep, exercise, fresh air , sunshine during the day....focus on your diet too!!

Hope this helps... take care of yourself!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

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