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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |61 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am married person of 42 years. I have a childhood friend and this girl is facing family and emotional pressures from her family. I have developed feelings for her, but cant tell her as I am afraid that it will hurt our friendship. She is quite open with me and tell me all her emotional aspects, but i feel helpless to help her emotionally as it can cross the boundaries of our friendship. I know her issues but cant help her both emotionally and physically due to these boundaries. I also see that other men are moving around her and may take advantage of her weak mindset which i can never tolerate. Please help me how best I can help her

Ans: Where is it said that once married you cannot be attracted to someone else - its normal to - however it is left on you if you wish to act upon it - if you do, you may loose your current family and nor are you sure if your friend has the same feeling towards you.

As a friend you need to help her feel good about herself - maybe suggest that she meets an expert. Thats the most you can do - wishing you the best

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I have one question in mind need suggestion from you, please guide me.I am 42 year old and married I have two kids as well. My married life is all good and peaceful and I love my family lot.20 years ago when I was in college I was in love with a girl, she did not like me that time but from my side it was very pure love. I loved her so much.She was aware of that. We lost touch in 2004. Now she is also 42 and married with two kids.During Covid in 2020, we again got connected on LinkedIn and started talking. I expressed my love. she understood, respected and valued it now.She is still waiting for someone else and doesn’t feel complete with me. She is honest about her feelings and communication.She told me she considers me only as a friend but above all and everything in life.But many times she shows love and lots of affection, caring attitude. She always says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well.She wants me to remain with her as she feels I am her strong support system.She shares everything with me and I do the same. Sometimes I feel I shall come out from this but at times I feel I don’t want to leave her as she looks very depressed.May be from her past break up or something else but I do not have the courage to ask her.What shall I do here? Please guide. What is your best suggestion?
Ans:

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I have one question in mind need suggestion from you, please guide me.I am 42 year old and married I have two kids as well. My married life is all good and peaceful and I love my family lot.20 years ago when I was in college I was in love with a girl, she did not like me that time but from my side it was very pure love. I loved her so much.She was aware of that. We lost touch in 2004. Now she is also 42 and married with two kids.During Covid in 2020, we again got connected on LinkedIn and started talking. I expressed my love. she understood, respected and valued it now.She is still waiting for someone else and doesn’t feel complete with me. She is honest about her feelings and communication.She told me she considers me only as a friend but above all and everything in life.But many times she shows love and lots of affection, caring attitude. She always says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well.She wants me to remain with her as she feels I am her strong support system.She shares everything with me and I do the same. Sometimes I feel I shall come out from this but at times I feel I don’t want to leave her as she looks very depressed.May be from her past break up or something else but I do not have the courage to ask her.What shall I do here? Please guide. What is your best suggestion?
Ans:

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

 

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I have one question in mind need suggestion from you, please guide me.I am 42 year old and married I have two kids as well. My married life is all good and peaceful and I love my family lot.20 years ago when I was in college I was in love with a girl, she did not like me that time but from my side it was very pure love. I loved her so much.She was aware of that. We lost touch in 2004. Now she is also 42 and married with two kids.During Covid in 2020, we again got connected on LinkedIn and started talking. I expressed my love. she understood, respected and valued it now.She is still waiting for someone else and doesn’t feel complete with me. She is honest about her feelings and communication.She told me she considers me only as a friend but above all and everything in life.But many times she shows love and lots of affection, caring attitude. She always says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well.She wants me to remain with her as she feels I am her strong support system.She shares everything with me and I do the same. Sometimes I feel I shall come out from this but at times I feel I don’t want to leave her as she looks very depressed.May be from her past break up or something else but I do not have the courage to ask her.What shall I do here? Please guide. What is your best suggestion?
Ans:

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

 

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 60 year old bachelor and leading a carefree life. 3 years back I met a 46 year old spinster from my office where I work and immediately fell in love with her. So much so that I have made my mail id password on her name. At her age she is a drop dead beauty. We get along like a house on fire. We have also gone to many places of tourist interest. We also have been physical quite a few times. Recently, I came to know that she is in a relationship with someone for the past 14 years. This someone happens to be a childhood friend aged 59 years and is married with 2 very grown up children. I have expressed my love to her and have asked her hand in marriage. She has been apprehensive and does not respond. Her father and siblings like my presence. What should I do? Please advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You want a relationship and she obviously doesn't! Or at least it does not seem that she is in love with you like you are with her.
She possibly is not interested in tying herself down into a commitment which is a personal choice of hers. Of course, you can have an honest conversation with her about it and express your intentions on a future with her clearly. Set a time period by which she thinks and gets back to you on her decision otherwise you will be left waiting. After consideration if she still feels strongly about not moving on your proposal, you have two choices!
Either you accept that she will be in a connection with the other person and you OR you can choose to move on as accepting that situation may not be easy.
So, essentially what you are doing is expressing and allowing her the time needed for consideration. You will also feel better knowing that you have made an honest attempt.

All the best!
(more)
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2024

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Relationship
Hi mam, I have very close friend of mine. He is a doctor and very cool by personality. He is married for the last 26 years but he is not in good terms with his wife ( who is also a Govt. officer) . Actually they are very different persons by nature. His wife always try to convenience him on certain religious faiths but he is a practical guy who believes in doing good with all humans in touch . She still always jeer him in very taunting ways about his belated parents' behavior with her. He has already calmed her by offering her apologies on their behalf. But still she continues again and again. My friend has tried many a time to convince her for new start of relationship but it goes for only 2-3 days and again the same drama starts. I as family friend has also tried to settle the things between both of them (with their permission) but all in vain. Both are 50+ and not now my friend is having blood pressure problems too, He now has started to avoid the situations at home and tries to remain out of home . But this is not the permanent solution of this problem. According to my observation it is really very difficult to convince her on any point. But still I want to help them. Please suggest any possible way-out.-Thanks.
Ans: Dear Yogesh,
Dealing with longstanding relationship issues can be challenging, and it's admirable that you want to help your friend and his wife. Suggest that both your friend and his wife consider seeking professional marriage counseling. A licensed therapist can provide a neutral and structured environment for them to express their concerns, improve communication, and work towards resolving underlying issues. Encourage them to set realistic expectations for their relationship. It's essential for both parties to understand that perfection is not achievable, and compromise is crucial in any long-term relationship.Emphasize the importance of respecting each other's differences. It's okay to have different beliefs and values, but acknowledging and accepting those differences is key to a harmonious relationship. If they are open to it, suggest mediation to facilitate communication and conflict resolution. A neutral third party can help guide discussions and find common ground It's important to note that while your intentions are positive, the decision to seek help ultimately rests with your friend and his wife. They both need to be willing participants in any process aimed at improving their relationship. If they are resistant, it might be challenging to make significant progress.
(more)
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Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  |186 Answers  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello my name is yash I have completed by studies in bsc it I have done jobs of cashier and application support analyst during my studies. No my studies are over I find myself to fit in job as per requirement but I am not satisfied sometimes I feel I am not meant for this I have issues from office like work extra over over time. I want to ask is there everywhere over time of employees to be spend 10-12 hours in office. Secondly I feel that should work in environment where I can move and do work means field work in which I feel I am not bounded in short I want work life balance. I love to read books, I love to do on ground activities in back of my mind I have civil services plan in which I have a permission to work freely. But condition is that how can I do if office demands max hours of my life it's bit confusing for me
Ans: Your name is Yash =Success, but you are far from it because you are on the wrong path.

The education and job as per your statement now matches your profile ,but you are not satisfied because of your work time.. Understand your predicament!

Travelled by bus,train ...realised how many hour's they are driving for you.. When you sleep!?
Forget about being a soldier you cant qualify!

Looking for a cushy and comfortable job, you have just started young man.. Get your thought process right!

The Civil Service means Govt job and you think, once you get it, you can then ruminate!?
Not any more, everywhere there are deliverable's.

Now the balance for work & life balance comes when you have the income to treat yourself, let alone repay the debt of your parent's.

Nobody stops you to do what you love but after a good days work.. Man!?

There's nothing called freely work, all gods children have bosses ,except GOD !

So your confusion of work timings will end, when you have the determination to dedicate & deliver ...success!
Got it.. there's nothing that comes on a platter! Go get it before you are left behind.. Be the YASH!
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Ashwini

Ashwini Dasgupta  |65 Answers  |Ask -

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Arun Prasad v k, hi sir, I am 46 yrs wish to retire by 55. Presently I have 25 lacs in fixed deposit, 15 lacs in post office savings , house rent8k, monthly 25k as salary. Besides, this I have 30k as monthly expenses... I have no idea / knowledge about mutual fund and I want to invest regularly for more 10 years...systematically and at the time of 55 I want to get best amount as pension amount..without loosing investment amount to beat the inflation. Kindly suggest me good mutual fund and tell me how to invest directly..without agent.. 2. My fixed deposit going to mature this month for Rs.11 lacs. Kindly suggest ,is it advisable to invest as lumpsum Or in what way to invest.
Ans: t's commendable that you're planning for your retirement and seeking to explore mutual fund investments to achieve your financial goals. Here's a tailored approach to help you get started:

Selecting Mutual Funds: Since you're aiming for long-term wealth accumulation with the goal of generating a pension-like income at the age of 55, consider investing in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds to balance growth potential with capital preservation. Look for funds with a track record of consistent performance, experienced fund managers, and low expense ratios. You may consider diversified equity funds, balanced funds, and debt funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
Investing Directly?
investing directly in mutual funds without professional guidance can pose certain risks. Here are some perils to consider:

Lack of Expertise: Direct investing requires a deep understanding of the mutual fund landscape, market dynamics, and investment strategies. Without proper knowledge, you may struggle to select the right funds and construct a well-balanced portfolio.
Risk of Mistakes: DIY investing increases the risk of making costly mistakes such as selecting unsuitable funds, mistiming the market, or misinterpreting fund performance data. These mistakes can hinder your investment returns and jeopardize your retirement goals.
Limited Access to Research: Individual investors may have limited access to research tools, market insights, and expert analysis compared to financial professionals. This can make it challenging to make informed investment decisions and navigate complex financial markets effectively.
Lack of Personalized Advice: Investing directly means missing out on personalized financial advice tailored to your unique needs, goals, and risk tolerance. A Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) can provide valuable guidance and help you build a customized investment plan aligned with your objectives.
Considering these challenges, I would recommend considering regular mutual funds through an MFD. An MFD can offer personalized advice, recommend suitable mutual funds based on your financial goals and risk profile, and provide ongoing support to help you navigate the investment landscape effectively.
Lumpsum Investment: Regarding your maturing fixed deposit of 11 lakhs, consider your risk tolerance and investment goals before deciding how to deploy this amount. Since you have a relatively short time horizon until retirement, you may consider investing a portion of the amount in debt funds for stability and liquidity, while allocating the remainder to equity funds for potential growth over the long term. Alternatively, you can stagger your investments over time through systematic transfer plans (STP) to mitigate timing risk.
Regular Monitoring: Once you've invested in mutual funds, monitor your investments regularly and review your portfolio periodically to ensure alignment with your financial goals and risk profile. Consider rebalancing your portfolio if needed based on changes in market conditions or your financial situation.
By following these steps and staying disciplined with your investment approach, you can work towards building a robust investment portfolio to support your retirement goals while safeguarding your investment against inflation.

By working with an MFD, you can access professional expertise, receive personalized recommendations, and benefit from ongoing guidance to make informed investment decisions and achieve your retirement goals more effectively.

If you have any further questions or need assistance, feel free to reach out to a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor for personalized advice and support.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
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Money
I'm 27 year old female. I earn 29k per month. I want to start an SIP and save enough (5lakh) for my marriage that I expect will happen after three years what's the best way for me to go about this goal?
Ans: Starting an SIP to save for your marriage is a wise decision, and with a clear goal in mind, you can work towards achieving it effectively. Here's a suggested approach tailored to your situation:

Determine Required SIP Amount: Calculate the monthly SIP amount required to accumulate 5 lakhs in three years. Assuming an average annual return of around 10%, you'll need to invest approximately 12,000 INR per month.
Select Suitable Mutual Funds: Choose mutual funds that align with your investment horizon and risk tolerance. Given your relatively short time frame of three years, consider allocating your investments to relatively safer options such as debt funds or hybrid funds with a higher allocation towards debt.
Explore Debt and Hybrid Funds: Look for debt funds or hybrid funds with a conservative allocation that prioritize capital preservation while aiming for modest growth. Consider funds with a track record of stable returns and low volatility.
Set Up SIPs: Open SIPs in the chosen mutual funds and set up monthly contributions of 12,000 INR. Ensure that the SIP amount is deducted automatically from your bank account each month to maintain consistency in your investment approach.
Regular Monitoring: Keep track of the performance of your SIPs and review them periodically. Make adjustments to your investment strategy if necessary based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals.
Explore Additional Savings: Consider supplementing your SIPs with additional savings from any windfalls, bonuses, or surplus income to accelerate your goal achievement.
Stay Committed: Stay committed to your SIPs and avoid withdrawing funds prematurely unless absolutely necessary. Remember, consistency and discipline are key to achieving your financial goals.
By following these steps and staying focused on your goal, you can save enough for your marriage within the desired timeframe while building a healthy financial habit for the future.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Sir please suggest amount as well as mutual fund for 15 years to generate corpus of 1cr
Ans: To generate a corpus of 1 crore in 15 years, you'll need to invest a significant amount regularly and choose suitable mutual funds with growth potential. Here's a suggested approach:

Determine Investment Amount: Considering your goal of accumulating 1 crore in 15 years, you'll need to calculate the monthly investment required based on expected returns. Assuming an average annual return of around 10%, you'll need to invest approximately 30,000 INR per month.
Select Mutual Funds: Choose a mix of equity mutual funds that offer potential for capital appreciation over the long term. Consider allocating your investments across large-cap, mid-cap, and multicap funds to diversify risk and maximize returns. Look for funds with a consistent track record of performance, experienced fund managers, and a robust investment strategy.
Allocate Funds: Divide your monthly investment amount of 30,000 INR among different mutual funds based on your risk tolerance and investment goals. For example, you could allocate 40-50% to large-cap funds, 30-40% to mid-cap funds, and 10-20% to multicap funds.
Regular Monitoring: Regularly review the performance of your mutual funds and make adjustments as needed based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals. Stay disciplined and committed to your investment plan to achieve your target corpus of 1 crore in 15 years.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Consider seeking advice from a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized recommendations based on your financial situation, risk profile, and investment objectives. They can help you create a customized investment plan and guide you towards achieving your long-term financial goals.
By following these steps and staying disciplined with your investments, you can work towards building a substantial corpus of 1 crore over the next 15 years. Remember, consistency, patience, and informed decision-making are key to successful long-term wealth creation.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Hi sir, Maine niche likhe hue sabhi fund mein mutual fund investment ki hai Small cap fund... Quant, HDFC, Mahindra, ICICI, canara rebeco Mid cap fund....Quant, HDFC, Mahindra, motilal oswal, canara rebeco Multicap fund.... HDFC and Mahindra Sectoral themetic fund... Nippon power& infra, DSp India tiger fund, ICICI manufacturing, ICICI innovation, axis manufacturing Plz mujhe suggest Karo.. aage bhi main yeh invest ment continue Karu ya . Fund change Karu...
Ans: It's great to see your diversified investment approach across different categories like small-cap, mid-cap, multicap, and sectoral thematic funds. However, the decision to continue or change your investments depends on various factors such as fund performance, your investment goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions.

Here are a few steps to consider:

Review Fund Performance: Evaluate the performance of each fund relative to its benchmark and peer group over different time frames. Look for consistency, risk-adjusted returns, and the fund manager's track record.
Assess Investment Goals: Reflect on your investment goals, time horizon, and risk tolerance. Are you investing for short-term gains or long-term wealth creation? Your goals should drive your investment decisions.
Analyze Fund Strategy: Understand the investment strategy and underlying holdings of each fund. Ensure they align with your investment objectives and risk profile. Assess if any funds are deviating from their stated strategy or experiencing manager changes.
Consider Market Conditions: Take into account current market conditions, economic outlook, and sectoral trends. Certain sectors may perform better in specific market cycles, so diversification across sectors can mitigate risks.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized recommendations based on your individual circumstances. They can help you assess your portfolio, identify any gaps, and suggest appropriate changes.
Ultimately, the decision to continue or change your investments should be based on a thorough analysis of fund performance, alignment with your goals, and professional advice. Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your financial objectives.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello sir, I am 34 yeRs old and monthly income is 1.8 lakhs. I have a home loan EMI of 55000. I want to invest 40000 in MF SIP. Can you please provide a breakdown where should i invest and how much?
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards investing despite having home loan commitments. Given your financial situation, here's a suggested breakdown for investing 40,000 INR in mutual fund SIPs:

Diversified Equity Funds (Large Cap/Multi Cap): Allocate around 60-70% of your SIP amount, i.e., 24,000 to 28,000 INR, to diversified equity funds. These funds offer exposure to a mix of large-cap and multi-cap stocks, providing stability and growth potential over the long term.
Mid Cap and Small Cap Funds: Allocate around 20-30% of your SIP amount, i.e., 8,000 to 12,000 INR, to mid-cap and small-cap funds for higher growth potential. These funds are more volatile but can offer significant returns over an extended investment horizon.
Balanced/Hybrid Funds: Consider allocating a small portion, around 10-20% of your SIP amount, i.e., 4,000 to 8,000 INR, to balanced or hybrid funds. These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt instruments, providing a balance between growth and stability.
Asset Allocation: Adjust the allocation percentages based on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals. Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments to ensure alignment with your objectives.
Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized guidance based on your financial goals, risk profile, and investment horizon. They can help you select suitable mutual funds and create a well-diversified portfolio tailored to your needs.
By following this breakdown and seeking professional advice, you can build a robust mutual fund portfolio that aligns with your financial objectives and helps you achieve your long-term wealth creation goals.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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