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Dear AK,

Most of the conflicts that we face on life arise simply because of our ego that stands as a wall between people.

The simplest way to drop that ego is to drop the assumption that someone is out to get us or someone wants to harm us.

I am glad that you understand your neighbour’s problem and it’s only fair when you ask him to understand yours.

Easiest way is to be kind and invite them home and treat them with respect and genuine compassion.

Love heals, as we all know and a few kind words from you may allow your neighbour to see that him not complying with repair at his end is causing you agony.

Have you tried this? If you haven’t, then let me tell you, it always works.

Going on an offense v/s bringing in goodness. I do not mean to sound goody-goody but do this with a lot of genuineness.

And of course, continue the goodness even after your problem is solved. It is easier being kind than be hostile.

The latter sucks your energy out and kindness helps you think and act better.
All the best!

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

Dear AK, maybe she has moved on and at the time when she liked you, you happened to be a mere distraction.

How do you know that you are in a relationship with her? Have the two of you talked about it?

If not, please request for a meeting and simply and kindly ask her where does she see this relationship going in the next 2 years?

That will give you an idea as to why she is avoiding meeting you and seems to find time to meet other people.

If she refuses this meeting as well which is important for both your futures, I think you have your answer and there is nothing more to clarify. Time for you to move on…

All the best!

When someone is confused, give them space to sort it out their way as that will be most authentic for them.

Either that decision may include you in her life or it may not, whatever that is…do respect it…her life, her way…by being physical once, does not mean that it must lead to something that favours your feelings!

If she is committed to the guy that she is dating, as simple as that…give her time; let her make the choice!

Be at peace!

Also, do you want to work on this marriage, do you want to continue?

Couples drift apart for various reasons and some may lead to finding a new sense of identity and thrill outside of marriage.

I guess it’s time for some reality check questions and truthfully answering them.

I am not going to pin your wife down or ask you what went wrong as this is for the two of you to talk and iron out.

Kindly take the help of a professional who can guide you both in an impartial manner, throw deep reflective questions to both of you so that it helps you reach some sort of decision.

In the meantime, understand that any connection outside of marriage happened for a reason and 11 years is a long time. To imagine that it can be broken off just like that is a good hopeful imagination.

So, it takes time and for her to understand that her marriage to you is important and that she can tactfully move away from the other connection requires some reflection on her part too.

Do support one another and it’s possible to rebuild the marriage if both of you choose to.

Create a good life!

Initially seeing the happiness on the faces of our loved ones makes us believe that what we are doing is the right thing.

But if you work or so anything in life without taking into consideration your feelings or your what you value for yourself, it will slowly start to seep into your core and you either end up feeling stressed or anxious.

I do understand that your situation is one of financial challenges, you mist work and why not work and at least set sometime for yourself over the weekend to rejuvenate yourself?

This time is non-negotiable and it is to refresh yourself so you can go back on Monday with a newness.

Also, instead of working like a machine, why not think that you are working efficiently to slowly pay off EMIs and to be free of them.

Bring some harmony between work and life which is what I can offer as a suggestion to you.

Be happy and work not out of compulsion but passion!