Home > User

Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

AK
AK
Anu

Anu Krishna1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 23, 2022

Asked on - Nov 23, 2022Hindi

Listen
Relationship
Hello Mam,
Seeking your advice for below problem, which may be different from the usual ones which you receive.
There is an issue of water leakage in my flat which is coming directly from flat which is above us. The owner of the flat agrees with that also.
The problem is he doesn't want to get it fixed for now.
Reason being, he is blessed with kid recently and as per him doctor has advised not to let anybody inside house for a month or two.
But now the problem is that because of this our day-to-day life is getting impacted.
Due to constant dripping of water, it's very difficult to sleep in night. There is danger of slipping also (I have also little kid in the house).
If I put bucket under the same then stored water attracts mosquitoes and flies. The ceiling of flat is also getting damaged. This has been going on since 2 weeks. I tried to explain the same to him as well but no solutions till now.

The problem is in one of the bathroom of above flat and it will not take more than 2-3 hours to get it fixed but how can I persuade him?
I don't want to get in argument mode for such petty things and have a feeling of guilt. I do understand his problems but people should understand other's concerns.
So need your advice what should I do? This is creating unnecessary mental problems.

Ans:

Dear AK,

Most of the conflicts that we face on life arise simply because of our ego that stands as a wall between people.

The simplest way to drop that ego is to drop the assumption that someone is out to get us or someone wants to harm us.

I am glad that you understand your neighbour’s problem and it’s only fair when you ask him to understand yours.

Easiest way is to be kind and invite them home and treat them with respect and genuine compassion.

Love heals, as we all know and a few kind words from you may allow your neighbour to see that him not complying with repair at his end is causing you agony.

Have you tried this? If you haven’t, then let me tell you, it always works.

Going on an offense v/s bringing in goodness. I do not mean to sound goody-goody but do this with a lot of genuineness.

And of course, continue the goodness even after your problem is solved. It is easier being kind than be hostile.

The latter sucks your energy out and kindness helps you think and act better.
All the best!

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Asked on - Aug 05, 2022Hindi

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I have one question in mind need suggestion from you, please guide me.
I am 42 year old and married I have two kids as well. My married life is all good and peaceful and I love my family lot.
20 years ago when I was in college I was in love with a girl, she did not like me that time but from my side it was very pure love. I loved her so much.
She was aware of that. We lost touch in 2004. Now she is also 42 and married with two kids.
During Covid in 2020, we again got connected on LinkedIn and started talking. I expressed my love. she understood, respected and valued it now.
She is still waiting for someone else and doesn’t feel complete with me. She is honest about her feelings and communication.
She told me she considers me only as a friend but above all and everything in life.
But many times she shows love and lots of affection, caring attitude. She always says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well.
She wants me to remain with her as she feels I am her strong support system.
She shares everything with me and I do the same. Sometimes I feel I shall come out from this but at times I feel I don’t want to leave her as she looks very depressed.
May be from her past break up or something else but I do not have the courage to ask her.
What shall I do here? Please guide. What is your best suggestion?

Ans:

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Asked on - Aug 05, 2022Hindi

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I have one question in mind need suggestion from you, please guide me.
I am 42 year old and married I have two kids as well. My married life is all good and peaceful and I love my family lot.
20 years ago when I was in college I was in love with a girl, she did not like me that time but from my side it was very pure love. I loved her so much.
She was aware of that. We lost touch in 2004. Now she is also 42 and married with two kids.
During Covid in 2020, we again got connected on LinkedIn and started talking. I expressed my love. she understood, respected and valued it now.
She is still waiting for someone else and doesn’t feel complete with me. She is honest about her feelings and communication.
She told me she considers me only as a friend but above all and everything in life.
But many times she shows love and lots of affection, caring attitude. She always says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well.
She wants me to remain with her as she feels I am her strong support system.
She shares everything with me and I do the same. Sometimes I feel I shall come out from this but at times I feel I don’t want to leave her as she looks very depressed.
May be from her past break up or something else but I do not have the courage to ask her.
What shall I do here? Please guide. What is your best suggestion?

Ans:

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

 

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Asked on - Aug 05, 2022Hindi

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I have one question in mind need suggestion from you, please guide me.
I am 42 year old and married I have two kids as well. My married life is all good and peaceful and I love my family lot.
20 years ago when I was in college I was in love with a girl, she did not like me that time but from my side it was very pure love. I loved her so much.
She was aware of that. We lost touch in 2004. Now she is also 42 and married with two kids.
During Covid in 2020, we again got connected on LinkedIn and started talking. I expressed my love. she understood, respected and valued it now.
She is still waiting for someone else and doesn’t feel complete with me. She is honest about her feelings and communication.
She told me she considers me only as a friend but above all and everything in life.
But many times she shows love and lots of affection, caring attitude. She always says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well.
She wants me to remain with her as she feels I am her strong support system.
She shares everything with me and I do the same. Sometimes I feel I shall come out from this but at times I feel I don’t want to leave her as she looks very depressed.
May be from her past break up or something else but I do not have the courage to ask her.
What shall I do here? Please guide. What is your best suggestion?

Ans:

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

 

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2022

Asked on - Feb 23, 2022Hindi

Listen
Anu

Anu Krishna1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2021

Asked on - Oct 29, 2021Hindi

Listen
Anu

Anu Krishna1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2021

Asked on - Jul 15, 2021Hindi

Listen
Relationship
 Dear Madam, I have been married for 26 years having two sons.
Recently I discovered that my wife was in a relationship for last 11 years.
I was devastated after this new discovery.
After this my wife says sorry and she will move on and break off the relationship. But to my utter dismay the same is going on.
What step do I need to take in this matter?

Ans: Dear AK, time to sit down, talk and figure out if she and you want to be in this marriage.

Also, do you want to work on this marriage, do you want to continue?

Couples drift apart for various reasons and some may lead to finding a new sense of identity and thrill outside of marriage.

I guess it’s time for some reality check questions and truthfully answering them.

I am not going to pin your wife down or ask you what went wrong as this is for the two of you to talk and iron out.

Kindly take the help of a professional who can guide you both in an impartial manner, throw deep reflective questions to both of you so that it helps you reach some sort of decision.

In the meantime, understand that any connection outside of marriage happened for a reason and 11 years is a long time. To imagine that it can be broken off just like that is a good hopeful imagination.

So, it takes time and for her to understand that her marriage to you is important and that she can tactfully move away from the other connection requires some reflection on her part too.

Do support one another and it’s possible to rebuild the marriage if both of you choose to.

Create a good life!

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

Asked on - Oct 06, 2020Hindi

Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu,I am 41 years old doing my own business since 14 years.

I live with my parents and i am married. Blessed with two children. I am the sole bread winner. They all luv me very much.

These days (year 2020) I feel stressed and lonely, bcos of financial problem in running my house and fulfilling my EMI and other loan commitments.

My family knows my financial adjustments and commitments. I feel myself like a machine working non-stop to keep my family happy and fullfil their desires.

I don’t feel happy going home after my work for the day. I feel like I don’t understand them or they don't understand me.

I know they luv me so much and me too. I feel let down but actually they support me in all the way they can. What should I do?

Ans: Dear AK, sadly, most of our lives are lived doing things for others.

Initially seeing the happiness on the faces of our loved ones makes us believe that what we are doing is the right thing.

But if you work or so anything in life without taking into consideration your feelings or your what you value for yourself, it will slowly start to seep into your core and you either end up feeling stressed or anxious.

I do understand that your situation is one of financial challenges, you mist work and why not work and at least set sometime for yourself over the weekend to rejuvenate yourself?

This time is non-negotiable and it is to refresh yourself so you can go back on Monday with a newness.

Also, instead of working like a machine, why not think that you are working efficiently to slowly pay off EMIs and to be free of them.

Bring some harmony between work and life which is what I can offer as a suggestion to you.

Be happy and work not out of compulsion but passion!

(more)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x