Starting Over at 42: Is There Hope for Finding a Reliable Partner?

Ans:

I have a friend who's sailing in the same boat as you.

She's a newly single mom and was very worried during her divorce that she would never find love again. Her husband had already taken up with another woman before their paperwork was finalised.

So I'm going to give you the same advice I gave her -- stop looking.

She did and, a year later, she's in a new but happy relationship.

The guy she's with is someone she always knew as an acquaintance. Post her divorce, they became close and he is fond of the child as well.

There may be challenges ahead but the point is, as soon as she let life take over instead of this obsession to find someone else, a relationship came up unexpectedly and out of nowhere.

So breathe, recover from old wounds and let things happen as they must. Stop planning a second marriage right away. 

 

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I hear your concern but I don't think it has anything to do with the mode of dating. Online or IRL, rude people will continue to be rude everywhere. Also, not everyone with a stable career is arrogant and unruly, men and women alike.

Apart from dating apps, you can try finding love IRL. You can try going to clubs, cafes, or social gatherings to meet like-minded women. Or you can ask your friends to set you up with someone who matches your criteria. You can join some activity of your liking to find women who prefer the same things as you. Start with a HI and see where it goes.

You can find a decent human being even in a dating app. It is a matter of patience, a pinch of luck, and primarily a good amount of effort from your end. To get better results, try mentioning your intents in your bio; for instance, you want to date and then move on to marriage- mention the same in your bio to attract the right kind of people.


Best Wishes!

Ans: It's understandable that finding a suitable partner at this stage in life can be challenging, especially when your intentions and expectations don't align with those of the men you meet. The key to finding the right partner lies in a combination of self-awareness, clear communication, and patience.

First, it's important to ensure that you are clear about your own needs and desires. Reflect on what you're looking for in a partner beyond companionship. What values and traits are essential for you? Being clear about these aspects will help you identify potential partners who are genuinely compatible.

When you meet someone new, be upfront about your expectations early on. This doesn’t mean overwhelming them with demands, but rather having open and honest conversations about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Express that you are seeking a meaningful, long-term partnership rather than something solely based on physical attraction. This clarity can help filter out those who are not on the same page.

It’s also crucial to recognize that some men may feel insecure or uncertain for various reasons. They might have their own past experiences or fears that impact their ability to commit. While you can offer reassurance and support, remember that it’s not your responsibility to fix or change them. Focus on finding someone who is emotionally mature and ready for the kind of relationship you desire.

Building a strong connection takes time. Be patient and allow relationships to develop naturally. It’s okay if things don’t work out with some people—each experience can be a learning opportunity that brings you closer to finding the right partner.

Consider expanding your social circles and exploring new ways to meet potential partners. This could be through social events, community groups, or online dating platforms that cater to mature singles looking for serious relationships. Engaging in activities you enjoy can also help you meet like-minded individuals.

Finally, remember to stay positive and keep an open heart. It can be disheartening when relationships don’t work out, but maintaining a hopeful and optimistic outlook will make the journey more pleasant and increase your chances of finding the right partner.

By being clear about your needs, communicating effectively, and staying patient, you are more likely to attract a partner who is looking for the same deep and meaningful connection you desire.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no need to jump into a marriage right away, right?
Start by expanding your social circle that includes a good mix of people from different backgrounds and work spheres. You might just end up finding someone who matches your thinking, ideals and lifestyle.
Cross this before you start bride-searching. You need to get your faith back into wanting a life partner and in the institution called marriage. So, baby steps...Trust builds over time so, give time for yourself to heal while you explore the idea of socializing. It acts as a good bridge not knowing someone and knowing someone. The concept of 'Dating' will ideally fall here and you might find someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life with.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/