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Starting Over at 42: Is There Hope for Finding a Reliable Partner?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |538 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide

Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi
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Hello Gurus! I am 40 yr divorced NRI man in the UK. I have a 10 yr old son and he lives with his mum in a different country. I have visitation rights and I meet him regularly. I have been divorced for 6 years now. I have been trying to date since last 5 years and it has been quite a frustrating experience. I do not want to jump to Matrimonial Sites as I would prefer to date someone to know them better before deciding to settle in a committed relationship. Also, there are many frauds on the Matrimonial Sites. My challenge is that most of the single women in the age range of 36 – 42 that I have met in last 5 yrs is that either they have unstable career and looking for someone to depend upon or if they have a career, they are arrogant and unruly. Though I look decent, I don’t have looks as a criteria. I worry sometimes if will I ever find love and affection in my life. Apart from the dating apps, where else do you suggest I could try to meet decent and normal woman?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I hear your concern but I don't think it has anything to do with the mode of dating. Online or IRL, rude people will continue to be rude everywhere. Also, not everyone with a stable career is arrogant and unruly, men and women alike.

Apart from dating apps, you can try finding love IRL. You can try going to clubs, cafes, or social gatherings to meet like-minded women. Or you can ask your friends to set you up with someone who matches your criteria. You can join some activity of your liking to find women who prefer the same things as you. Start with a HI and see where it goes.

You can find a decent human being even in a dating app. It is a matter of patience, a pinch of luck, and primarily a good amount of effort from your end. To get better results, try mentioning your intents in your bio; for instance, you want to date and then move on to marriage- mention the same in your bio to attract the right kind of people.


Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |538 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear expert I am 52 year lady divorcee. Looking for a partner for remarriage. Whomever i meet, everything goes on well for few days or months and somehow breaks. The men feel so insecure about me and they breakup even when i talk of solutions and taking forward as life is short and we need a partner to survive. I am not able to find a man who can think better at this stage of life. If you can suggest what should be done to make them understand and most of the men look for only physical pleasure even at later part of life instead of looking for a partner in all respects. What should be done to find the right partner.
Ans: It's understandable that finding a suitable partner at this stage in life can be challenging, especially when your intentions and expectations don't align with those of the men you meet. The key to finding the right partner lies in a combination of self-awareness, clear communication, and patience.

First, it's important to ensure that you are clear about your own needs and desires. Reflect on what you're looking for in a partner beyond companionship. What values and traits are essential for you? Being clear about these aspects will help you identify potential partners who are genuinely compatible.

When you meet someone new, be upfront about your expectations early on. This doesn’t mean overwhelming them with demands, but rather having open and honest conversations about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Express that you are seeking a meaningful, long-term partnership rather than something solely based on physical attraction. This clarity can help filter out those who are not on the same page.

It’s also crucial to recognize that some men may feel insecure or uncertain for various reasons. They might have their own past experiences or fears that impact their ability to commit. While you can offer reassurance and support, remember that it’s not your responsibility to fix or change them. Focus on finding someone who is emotionally mature and ready for the kind of relationship you desire.

Building a strong connection takes time. Be patient and allow relationships to develop naturally. It’s okay if things don’t work out with some people—each experience can be a learning opportunity that brings you closer to finding the right partner.

Consider expanding your social circles and exploring new ways to meet potential partners. This could be through social events, community groups, or online dating platforms that cater to mature singles looking for serious relationships. Engaging in activities you enjoy can also help you meet like-minded individuals.

Finally, remember to stay positive and keep an open heart. It can be disheartening when relationships don’t work out, but maintaining a hopeful and optimistic outlook will make the journey more pleasant and increase your chances of finding the right partner.

By being clear about your needs, communicating effectively, and staying patient, you are more likely to attract a partner who is looking for the same deep and meaningful connection you desire.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I had an arranged marriage at the age of 30 which ended within a year as she had a lover and went back to him, in the process took away my money putting a false domestic violence case to claim alimony. My dream of happy married life was shattered, I lost faith in concept of marriage and remained single just focusing on my work. I never had any relationship with any female all through these years due to the phobia that women bring trouble to my life :) Now I'm 45 and feel the need to have a trustworthy life companion. The problem I'm facing is the trust issues and female phobia. Also since my so called married life was very short, I'm not mentally ready to consider marriage proposals of divorced women who got divorced after 4-5 years of their bad marriage since they have the past luggage. Its difficult to find unmarried singles also. Can you guide me on how can I overcome this situation and find a trustworthy, reliable companion for rest of my life?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no need to jump into a marriage right away, right?
Start by expanding your social circle that includes a good mix of people from different backgrounds and work spheres. You might just end up finding someone who matches your thinking, ideals and lifestyle.
Cross this before you start bride-searching. You need to get your faith back into wanting a life partner and in the institution called marriage. So, baby steps...Trust builds over time so, give time for yourself to heal while you explore the idea of socializing. It acts as a good bridge not knowing someone and knowing someone. The concept of 'Dating' will ideally fall here and you might find someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life with.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |246 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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Career
Hello there, I'm 20 years preparing for neet but I'm not confident to get mbbs seat what alternative is there for me I'm so confused and stressed.Will it be ok if I do bsc in biotechnology and Mba in healthcare data science ? Can I succeed in this pathway Help plz
Ans: Hi,
Health-related courses are a great choice for a promising future. If you've completed your +2 with PCB (Physics, Chemistry, Biology) or PCMB (Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, Biology), there are many courses available to you, both with and without a NEET score.
Courses Available with NEET Score:
- MBBS (Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery)
- BDS (Bachelor of Dental Surgery)
- BAMS (Bachelor of Ayurvedic Medicine and Surgery)
- BHMS (Bachelor of Homeopathic Medicine and Surgery)
- BNYS (Bachelor of Naturopathy and Yogic Sciences)
- BUMS (Bachelor of Unani Medicine and Surgery)
- BVSc (Bachelor of Veterinary Science)

Courses Available without NEET:
Health-Oriented:
- B.Pharm (Bachelor of Pharmacy)
- Pharm D (Doctor of Pharmacy)
- BSc Nursing (Bachelor of Science in Nursing)
- BSc MLT (Bachelor of Science in Medical Laboratory Technology)
- BPT (Bachelor of Physiotherapy)
Non-Medical:
- BSc Agriculture (Bachelor of Science in Agriculture)
- BSc Horticulture (Bachelor of Science in Horticulture)
- BSc Sericulture (Bachelor of Science in Sericulture)

There are many more courses available as well. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide which course suits you best. If you need any further assistance, please share your details, and I would be happy to help you with recommendations.

BEST OF LUCK

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1184 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

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Career
Hello sir, I am stuck in confusion about my career previously i was working as HR due to personal reason had to leave the job and there was gap of 4 years and again after few years had to do new start up from zero and working to Administration department for almost 4 years i am planning of switching job as i dont find any scope and growth to the work i am doing and underpaid here.Not understanding again i should switch back to HR job or continue into adminstration job and also please advice where will i get to learn and upgrade my skill and have growth in my career.Please help sir
Ans: Hello Tanmay.
Nothing is mentioned by you about your qualifications or company profile. Only it is clear that you left the HR job, remained jobless for 4 years, and joined to new startup, but not satisfied there also, and are again interested in joining the previous HR job.
Dear, it would be better for you to join the HR job again. Working in an administration job requires specialized skills which I think you might be lagging. According to your qualifications, it would be better to join some online/offline courses which are helpful to your present job conditions and also useful if you decide to change the job in the future. As I do not know your educational qualifications, it is difficult for me to suggest you properly. For proper counseling/suggestion, please tell us your educational qualification, extracurricular activities, and computer knowledge if any.

If satisfied, pl like and follow.
If unsatisfied, pl ask again without any hesitation.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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