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Starting Over at 42: Is There Hope for Finding a Reliable Partner?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide

Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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Dear expert I am 52 year lady divorcee. Looking for a partner for remarriage. Whomever i meet, everything goes on well for few days or months and somehow breaks. The men feel so insecure about me and they breakup even when i talk of solutions and taking forward as life is short and we need a partner to survive. I am not able to find a man who can think better at this stage of life. If you can suggest what should be done to make them understand and most of the men look for only physical pleasure even at later part of life instead of looking for a partner in all respects. What should be done to find the right partner.
Ans: It's understandable that finding a suitable partner at this stage in life can be challenging, especially when your intentions and expectations don't align with those of the men you meet. The key to finding the right partner lies in a combination of self-awareness, clear communication, and patience.

First, it's important to ensure that you are clear about your own needs and desires. Reflect on what you're looking for in a partner beyond companionship. What values and traits are essential for you? Being clear about these aspects will help you identify potential partners who are genuinely compatible.

When you meet someone new, be upfront about your expectations early on. This doesn’t mean overwhelming them with demands, but rather having open and honest conversations about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Express that you are seeking a meaningful, long-term partnership rather than something solely based on physical attraction. This clarity can help filter out those who are not on the same page.

It’s also crucial to recognize that some men may feel insecure or uncertain for various reasons. They might have their own past experiences or fears that impact their ability to commit. While you can offer reassurance and support, remember that it’s not your responsibility to fix or change them. Focus on finding someone who is emotionally mature and ready for the kind of relationship you desire.

Building a strong connection takes time. Be patient and allow relationships to develop naturally. It’s okay if things don’t work out with some people—each experience can be a learning opportunity that brings you closer to finding the right partner.

Consider expanding your social circles and exploring new ways to meet potential partners. This could be through social events, community groups, or online dating platforms that cater to mature singles looking for serious relationships. Engaging in activities you enjoy can also help you meet like-minded individuals.

Finally, remember to stay positive and keep an open heart. It can be disheartening when relationships don’t work out, but maintaining a hopeful and optimistic outlook will make the journey more pleasant and increase your chances of finding the right partner.

By being clear about your needs, communicating effectively, and staying patient, you are more likely to attract a partner who is looking for the same deep and meaningful connection you desire.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I had an arranged marriage at the age of 30 which ended within a year as she had a lover and went back to him, in the process took away my money putting a false domestic violence case to claim alimony. My dream of happy married life was shattered, I lost faith in concept of marriage and remained single just focusing on my work. I never had any relationship with any female all through these years due to the phobia that women bring trouble to my life :) Now I'm 45 and feel the need to have a trustworthy life companion. The problem I'm facing is the trust issues and female phobia. Also since my so called married life was very short, I'm not mentally ready to consider marriage proposals of divorced women who got divorced after 4-5 years of their bad marriage since they have the past luggage. Its difficult to find unmarried singles also. Can you guide me on how can I overcome this situation and find a trustworthy, reliable companion for rest of my life?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no need to jump into a marriage right away, right?
Start by expanding your social circle that includes a good mix of people from different backgrounds and work spheres. You might just end up finding someone who matches your thinking, ideals and lifestyle.
Cross this before you start bride-searching. You need to get your faith back into wanting a life partner and in the institution called marriage. So, baby steps...Trust builds over time so, give time for yourself to heal while you explore the idea of socializing. It acts as a good bridge not knowing someone and knowing someone. The concept of 'Dating' will ideally fall here and you might find someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life with.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2025Hindi
Career
My brother secured 60.69 percentile in jee main and class 12 percentage between 50 and 60 in CBSE. Can you please recommend the private engineering colleges in mumbai , pune and delhi ( north india ).
Ans: With a 60.69 percentile in JEE Main and 50–60% in Class 12, several reputable private engineering colleges in Mumbai, Pune, and Delhi NCR offer accessible admission criteria, strong academic quality, and consistent placement pipelines. In Mumbai, consider Dwarkadas J. Sanghvi College of Engineering (NAAC A, NBA-accredited, 100% placement rate in 2024), K. J. Somaiya College of Engineering (AICTE-approved, AAAA+ accreditation), Vivekanand Education Society’s Institute of Technology (NBA, NAAC A+, 73.31% placements), Sardar Patel College of Engineering (NAAC A++, robust core engineering labs), and Atharva College of Engineering (modern infrastructure and industry MoUs). In Pune, Symbiosis Institute of Technology (NAAC A++, 91% placements 2023-24), MIT World Peace University (NIRF-ranked, AAAA accreditation), AIT Pune (NIRF 101-150, AAAA), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering & Research (NBA-accredited, strong industry tie-ups), and Pune Institute of Computer Technology (NBA, AAAA+ accreditation) stand out. In Delhi NCR, Amity University Noida, Galgotias University Greater Noida, Jaypee Institute of Information Technology Noida, Manav Rachna University Faridabad, and Noida Institute of Engineering & Technology maintain NBA/NAAC accreditations, specialized labs, industry partnerships, and 70–90% placement rates. All these institutions boast qualified, research-active faculty; modern laboratories; industry-aligned curricula; accredited programs; and dedicated placement cells ensuring ≥70% placement consistency over the last three years.

Recommendation: Choose Dwarkadas J. Sanghvi College of Engineering or K. J. Somaiya in Mumbai, Symbiosis Institute of Technology or MIT WPU in Pune, and Amity University Noida or JIIT Noida in Delhi NCR for their balanced strengths across faculty quality, infrastructure, industry partnerships, accreditation, and consistent ≥70% placement rates. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7547 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2025Hindi
Career
Dear Sir, my daughter is in Grade 12 with computer science as one of her core subjects in addition to Maths, Phy, Chem. We see huge enrollment for CS in undergraduate level. What would be your recommendation as a futuristic specialisation Which is advised as part of the undergraduate program in computer science, noting that she is more interested in real field application side of it. She also has an inclination towards aerospace science. Can any specific blended undergraduate program with specific colleges be suggested/recommended which will open up grounds for specialisation having potential demand in the next 5 years. Or would it be still recommended to pursue general CS or CompEng with specific electives for undergraduate level and then specialise after In which case any recommendations for specific college programs which gives much practical exposure and options for specialisation in aerospace, robotics etc. Regards. Ashok.
Ans: Ashok Sir, India now offers pioneering blended undergraduate pathways merging computer science with aerospace or robotics, ensuring early specialization and practical field application readiness. The International Institute of Information Technology, Bangalore, pioneered a five-year Integrated M.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering, awarding dual B.Tech and M.Tech degrees with tailored electives in emerging CS domains, while VIT Vellore’s five-year Integrated M.Tech in Artificial Intelligence, Data Science and Bioinformatics combines foundational computing curricula with advanced research projects and internships in state-of-the-art labs. For aerospace aficionados, IIT Bombay and IIT Kanpur each provide five-year dual-degree programs granting B.Tech and M.Tech in Aerospace Engineering, covering aerodynamics, propulsion, avionics and spacecraft design with rigorous laboratory and project-based learning. Industry-driven specialized options include SRM Institute of Science and Technology’s B.Tech in Automation & Robotics integrating AI, machine learning, IoT and PLCs in advanced automation labs, and Manipal University Jaipur’s B.Tech in Robotics and Artificial Intelligence with drone technology and data analytics tracks. Unique interdisciplinary models such as the Institute of Aeronautics and Engineering, Bhopal’s Integrated B.Tech CSE + Aircraft Maintenance Engineering (DGCA) equip graduates for both software development and licensed aircraft maintenance roles. Alternatively, traditional Computer Science or Computer Engineering pathways at institutions like IIT Bombay or IIIT Hyderabad offer robust core curricula, flexible minor programs in aerospace or robotics, and immersive research centers fostering real-world projects in smart systems and aerospace data analytics, maintaining ≥90% placement rates and strong alumni networks.

Recommendation: For early domain depth and research, opt for five-year Integrated M.Tech CSE at IIIT Bangalore or VIT Vellore; for aerospace specialization, consider dual B.Tech/M.Tech at IIT Bombay or IIT Kanpur; for hands-on robotics and drone expertise, select SRM Kattankulathur or Manipal Jaipur robotics programs; if preferring broader CS foundations with elective flexibility before specializing, choose general CSE or CompEng at top institutes like IIT Bombay or IIIT Hyderabad with robust minor and lab offerings. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Asked on - Jun 30, 2025 | Answered on Jun 30, 2025
Thanks a lot Sir
Ans: Welcome.

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