Hi, I am 33 years old; happily married for the last 4 years and have a 3 year old kid.
There is no problem in my married life however I had a huge crush on one of my batchmates during college days.
The entire college knew about it including the girl but it never materialized further as I was never able to confess directly to her.
We parted ways after college and I accepted that this girl was not for me and moved on.
This was during the pre-social media era.
However, off late, especially during lockdown I came across her photos on FB/Insta and my old emotions resurfaced.
Now there is not a single day when I don't remember her and think about an alternate life with her.
It's not like that I don’t love my wife anymore or romance has fizzled out between us but it seems that old crush is constantly on my mind and I’m not able to get her off my mind.
I can’t tell this to that girl as she is already married and has no contact anymore with me.
I can’t tell this to my wife as well because she has absolutely no hint about it.
I am just thinking about how to get this monkey off my back and erase that girl completely out of my memory.
I tried to block her on social media, but it doesn’t help much.
It feels like some unfinished business which keeps bothering me every moment.
Can you advise me how to get out of this situation?

Ans: As of now MBA from a good college still gives you best of jobs and chance to rise to the top. MBA also gives you a lot of flexibility in the kind of roles you can perform.

Ans: Hello;

This cannot be a valid reason for rejecting a claim.

You need to challenge this decision of the insurance company.

Best wishes;

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is Balance? When there are two equal weights placed on either side of a weighing scale, they balance each other perfectly. So, in life, other than housework and taking care of others (one side), you have forgotten to place the same weight on the other side which is self-care.
Do what it takes to keep yourself happy, so that this happiness can fuel what you do on the other side for others. Makes sense?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Has this started more recently or has it been going on for a while now? This is a good indicator to know if things were most;y like this or if any recent event has triggered this.
If it is a recent thing, I guess you could try and find out what exactly could have caused this. But if it is something that has been happening for a long time, the reasons could be any and many. Since there is also some physical abuse as you mentioned, kindly make an appointment with a professional who will be able to guide your wife through this challenging time. It possibly involves some unresolved things from the past which is making life currently difficult for all of you.
Work as a family unit together for her and not against her. It's going to make matters worse. She may refuse to go to a professional, then the only option left is for you to develop a lot of patience and deal with this adult to adult with her. No fights, quarrels with her but a lot of quiet conversations which she will initially resist but someday she will give in...So if you want the family to get back together in a healthy way, a lot also depends on how you are going to deal with the situation.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Your decision to explore alternatives to fixed deposits is commendable. It reflects a balanced approach to achieving better returns while maintaining liquidity and managing risk. Below is a detailed analysis and suggestions on how to proceed with your investment:

Diversified Mutual Fund Portfolio
Mutual funds are ideal for liquidity, risk management, and diversification.

Allocate funds to different mutual fund categories based on your risk appetite and investment goals.

Equity mutual funds: Invest 40% for high returns in the long term. They suit moderate to high-risk tolerance.

Hybrid funds: Allocate 30% to balance equity and debt exposure for stability. These are less volatile.

Debt mutual funds: Invest 30% to preserve capital and ensure liquidity. These offer lower risk.

Actively managed funds are better for growth as they outperform passive options.

Regular plans through an MFD with a CFP offer expert guidance and better fund selection.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Use SWP for a steady cash flow if needed later.

Withdraw systematically without disturbing the principal.

This strategy maintains liquidity and provides tax efficiency.

Corporate Fixed Deposits and Bonds
Invest 20% in AAA-rated corporate FDs or bonds for better returns than bank FDs.

Ensure the issuer has a strong credit rating for safety.

These options provide fixed income and moderate liquidity.

Gold Investment for Diversification
Allocate 10% to gold through Sovereign Gold Bonds or Gold ETFs.

Sovereign Gold Bonds offer an additional annual interest of 2.5%.

Gold acts as a hedge during economic uncertainties.

Liquid Funds for Emergency Needs
Keep 10% in liquid mutual funds for emergencies or short-term goals.

These provide easy access to funds within 24 hours.

Returns are higher than savings accounts, ensuring better cash management.

Tax Efficiency
Equity mutual funds offer long-term tax benefits if held for over one year.

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab, but indexation reduces long-term taxes.

Plan withdrawals to optimise tax liability and maximise post-tax returns.

Insurance and Contingency Fund
Before investing, ensure adequate health and life insurance coverage.

Maintain a contingency fund covering at least 6 months of expenses.

This step ensures financial stability during emergencies.

Regular Monitoring
Review your investments quarterly with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.

Rebalance the portfolio based on market conditions and financial goals.

Regular tracking helps mitigate risks and ensures alignment with your objectives.

Avoid Common Investment Mistakes
Avoid direct funds due to the absence of expert advice and monitoring.

Stay away from speculative investments promising quick returns.

Avoid underestimating the importance of professional guidance in fund selection.

Align Investments with Goals
Define short-term, medium-term, and long-term financial goals.

Match investments with respective timelines for effective planning.

Ensure liquidity aligns with your specific needs, avoiding over-commitment to illiquid options.

Final Insights
Your investment should be a mix of growth and safety. Keep funds accessible when required while optimising returns. Diversify wisely and seek professional guidance for fund selection and periodic review. Stay focused on aligning investments with your goals and risk profile.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Intimacy for a man and women are very different and varied as well.
You cannot NOT connect during the week at an emotional level and then expect your wife to be excited to jump in bed. That's not how it works!
Both of you work which means weekends do get busy with household chores, children and more...there's very little time and energy left for intimate moments.
On your wife's part, she has not learned as yet to leave office work at the office but certainly what to cook for the next day is a huge task if this depends only on her. Why don't the two of you pitch in to distribute the household work between you? That way she does not feel burdened (if she does feel that way)...this also goes a long way in letting her know that you care and you want to help her...
You could also talk about how you can steal some moments after office and before you reach home by meeting at a cafe and sharing time over a cup of coffee. This definitely will make your wife feel more connected and emotionally secure which is a start point to easing of your sexual relationship.
Basically, get back to the dating scene and make your relationship a priority. A great sexual life is a product of the connection that a couple share outside the bedroom and the willingness on the part of the couple to make that happen.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ans: Hello;

Traditional endowment life insurance policies provide poor returns.

Term life insurance is the optimal solution for protection.

Now that you have stopped paying premium for this policy it may have been converted into a paid-up policy with reduced benefits at maturity, by the insurer.

In such cases it is better to surrender the policy and invest whatever money you get, into mutual funds.

I presume you have adequate term life cover as protection.

Best wishes;

Ans: You are in a transitional phase with important financial goals. Let’s assess your options to make informed decisions.

Assessing SBI Life Smart Wealth Builder Policy
High Cost of Policy: The policy includes administration charges, fund management fees, and taxes of 18%.

Limited Returns: ULIPs often provide lower returns compared to actively managed mutual funds.

Lock-in Period: Your policy locks funds, restricting liquidity for immediate goals.

Surrender Value: Check the surrender value. Early surrender might lead to penalties and reduced returns.

Potential Benefits of Investing in Mutual Funds
Higher Returns: Mutual funds, especially actively managed ones, often outperform ULIPs over time.

Flexibility: You can withdraw funds based on your needs, offering better liquidity.

Diversification: Mutual funds provide exposure to different asset classes, reducing risk.

Cost Efficiency: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner minimises hidden charges and optimises returns.

Managing Your Rs. 20 Lakh Corpus
Emergency Fund: Set aside Rs. 5-6 lakhs in liquid funds or fixed deposits for emergencies.

Education Planning: Allocate funds in short-term debt mutual funds or recurring deposits for your son’s higher studies.

Retirement Corpus: Invest the remaining amount in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for long-term growth.

Health Insurance Adequacy: Review your existing health insurance to ensure sufficient coverage.

Planning Your Income Resumption
Once you resume work, save at least 20-30% of your income.

Prioritise retirement contributions alongside education planning.

Use surplus income to reduce financial dependency on investments.

Tax Efficiency
Mutual Funds: Equity mutual funds provide tax benefits but watch for LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh (taxed at 12.5%).

Surrendering ULIP: Check tax implications on surrender proceeds. ULIPs offer tax exemption if premiums don't exceed 10% of the sum assured.

Health Insurance: Claim Section 80D deductions for premiums paid.

Strategic Steps Forward
Review the policy surrender value. If penalties are high, consider continuing till break-even.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner for a detailed portfolio review.

Set realistic timelines for education and retirement goals.

Maintain separate funds for short-term needs and long-term growth.

Finally
Your proactive approach will create a strong financial foundation. By reallocating your resources wisely, you can secure your son’s education and your retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment