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Married man with a child seeking advice on dealing with memories of long-lost love

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1592 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello madam I a 32 year old married man with a kid , who is 6 years old. I have done arrange marriage with my own decision I agreed to my parents for the marrige at that time I was in a casual relationship with a girl I didn't said anything to the girl and get married to someone else. After that I tried to live a happay life with my wife without thinking about the girl whom I left behind, from outside I tried to be happy with my wife but my wife thought doesn't matches with me so I felt so disturbed from inside. Still I was trying to continue the relationship for sake of our child but suddenly I got my ex love contact and I was so happy that after so long time I got a chance to talk to her, I have tried to meet her but she always refused to meet me because she was in a relationship. I tried many times and due to some misconduct I again lost her for the second time. At this moment when she is not with me her thoughts memories are troubling me so much I am in pain, what am I suppose to do to get rid of the pain?? Please help

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no point wanting a 'past' relationship just because you have one...what if that relationship did not exist, you would have possibly made efforts to make your marriage work, right?
Then do just that...DO NOT treat your marriage as an option...which marriage is a perfect one? And are all spouses tailor-made to fit one another?
So, if her thoughts don't match with yours, then even yours don't match with hers...so, should she also think of jumping into some other relationship. Please act mature about this especially with a child in the entire equation; try and understand each other...speak about your differences and find ways of working on them by accepting them. Ex-love etc looks all very nice, but come down to ground reality; please...work on your marriage!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Nov 11, 2024 | Answered on Nov 11, 2024
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Thank you mam. I really appreciate you answer and I will try to work on my marriage and my wife. I will try to move on and keep myself happy accepting all the changes that I face. Thank you ????
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Here's wishing you both the best on the next steps that you take in the direction of rebuilding your marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sirs Please review my investment towards 7.5 CR. There are 2 components towards it , 1) Generate monthly income post tax of 4 lakhs, 2) Investment Corpus Towards Capital appreciation Towards option 1 : Investing in the following - a) Tata Motors or Chola Perpetual Bonds 1.4 cr , b) ICICI Balanced Advantage Fund 1cr, c) Kotak Balanced advantage fund 1 cr Towards option 2 ie Capital Appreciation investing in the following - a) HDFC Flexi Cap Equity fund 1.25 cr , b) Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Equity Fund 1.25 cr, c) ICICI Prudential India Opportunities Fund 80 Lakhs, d) ICICI Prudential Multi asset fund 80 lakhs I am looking at a 5 - 7 year investment timeline. Have taken early retirement at 50 years and need the funds to sustain myself. Please also advise if Perpetual bonds is a good option Thanks
Ans: Your investment strategy is thoughtfully constructed. You’ve clearly defined two components:

Monthly income of Rs. 4 lakhs

Capital appreciation with a horizon of 5 to 7 years

Let’s assess each component carefully and suggest improvements.

 

 

Monthly Income Generation Plan – Review and Insights
 

You’ve allocated the following towards income generation:

Perpetual Bonds – Rs. 1.4 crore

Two Balanced Advantage Funds – Rs. 2 crore

 

Let us look at the key strengths and areas to optimise.

 

Perpetual Bonds – Risk and Suitability

These bonds are issued with no maturity date.

Issuers can delay interest payments if they face pressure.

Tata Motors or Chola bonds offer high interest, but risk is also higher.

You need dependable income. Perpetuals may cause delays or cuts.

If rated ‘AA’ or lower, risk becomes even higher.

For safety, consider shifting part to high-rated corporate bonds.

Choose instruments with a defined maturity or high credit rating.

 

 

Balanced Advantage Funds – Regular Payout Source

You have allocated Rs. 2 crore to two funds here.

These are suitable for monthly SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan).

They reduce risk by shifting between equity and debt.

This provides smoother return and helps handle market volatility.

Ideal for your need of steady income.

Choose funds with a good track record of 5+ years.

Go for regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner.

They provide guidance and documentation support.

 

 

Key Adjustments to Consider for Income Plan

Don’t depend only on one instrument for income.

Keep part in ultra-short debt funds to manage emergency needs.

You may also allocate a small amount to floating rate funds.

Avoid riskier perpetuals if your lifestyle depends on this cash flow.

 

 

Capital Appreciation Portfolio – Review and Suggestions
 

You have allocated Rs. 4.1 crore across four funds:

Two Flexi Cap Funds – Rs. 2.5 crore

One Thematic Fund (Opportunities) – Rs. 80 lakhs

One Multi Asset Fund – Rs. 80 lakhs

 

This section looks well-structured. Still, here are some observations.

 

Flexi Cap Funds – Long Term Growth Drivers

These offer a mix of large, mid and small cap stocks.

Flexible allocation helps in market ups and downs.

You have spread Rs. 2.5 crore across two flexi caps.

It gives diversified equity exposure.

Good for your 5–7 year horizon.

Continue this investment.

 

 

Thematic Opportunities Fund – Aggressive but Focused

Thematic funds bet on specific trends.

They can perform well in short cycles.

But they are more volatile.

Rs. 80 lakhs is a high amount in one theme.

Reduce this to Rs. 50 lakhs.

Redirect balance to diversified equity or large-cap funds.

 

 

Multi Asset Fund – Helps Manage Volatility

These funds invest across equity, debt, and gold.

They balance returns with risk.

Ideal for medium-term wealth building.

You can continue this allocation.

Add a second multi-asset fund for balance.

 

 

Direct Plan Exposure – Re-evaluate for Personalised Support

Direct plans avoid distribution cost.

But guidance is missing.

Without CFP support, wrong fund choice or exit may happen.

Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner give tracking.

They help during market swings, taxation and rebalancing.

This becomes very important in large-value portfolios.

 

 

Asset Allocation Review – What’s Working and What Needs Tune-Up
 

Your allocation is roughly:

45% towards income (Rs. 3.4 crore)

55% towards growth (Rs. 4.1 crore)

This mix looks aligned to your goal of current income and future corpus.

Still, consider the following:

 

Review this mix yearly with your Certified Financial Planner

If market rallies too much, shift some growth to income

If interest rates rise, reduce equity withdrawal and increase debt

Keep Rs. 25–30 lakhs in liquid fund for any large emergency

 

 

Taxation on Mutual Funds – Stay Aware of Recent Rules
 

Equity mutual funds:

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%

STCG is taxed at 20%

 

Debt mutual funds:

Both LTCG and STCG taxed as per your tax slab

Most retirees fall in lower slab but tax planning still needed

Prefer SWP for income, not dividend option

Keep P&L statement ready for advance tax filing

 

 

Tax-Free Cash Flow – Can You Improve It?
 

You can also look at these steps:

Use HUF or family member’s name for part investment

Income from their investment gets taxed in their slab

Helps reduce your tax burden

Invest Rs. 1.5 lakh yearly in PPF for guaranteed, tax-free return

Can also explore Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) if eligible

 

 

Avoid Index Funds – Not Suitable for Your Stage
 

Index funds copy the stock market

They don’t adjust based on conditions

There’s no downside protection in falling markets

Actively managed funds give more opportunity to earn and protect

Your current selection rightly avoids index funds

 

 

Avoid Direct Plans Without Support
 

Direct plans don’t include expert guidance

No one checks asset allocation or strategy alignment

You’re investing a large corpus. Mistakes cost more here

Use regular plans via an experienced Certified Financial Planner

They help in paperwork, KYC, taxation, SWP planning, rebalancing

Their personalised help adds more value than small cost savings

 

 

Perpetual Bonds – Should You Continue or Exit?
 

Not the best for regular income seekers

Issuer can skip interest if company faces pressure

Price of these bonds also swings with interest rates

You can’t rely fully on them for Rs. 4 lakh per month

Exit partly and shift to short-duration or banking PSU debt funds

These are better for predictable income with lower risk

 

 

Review of Liquidity and Emergency Planning
 

At least Rs. 30–35 lakhs should be in liquid or overnight funds

This money is for health, family needs or urgent situations

Don’t touch your income or capital funds for this purpose

This buffer will give you confidence and reduce portfolio risk

 

 

Risk Management – How to Prepare for Unseen Events
 

Review health insurance for self and spouse

If you’ve not already done it, get Rs. 25 lakh cover each

Consider critical illness policy to protect against long illness

Update nominations in all funds and accounts

Keep estate plan or Will ready. Talk to your planner on this

 

 

Rebalancing Strategy – Keep it Dynamic
 

Review portfolio every 6 months

Don’t chase top-performing funds blindly

Instead, rebalance as per your income need and age

Reduce equity by 5% every 2 years as you age

This protects corpus and supports steady cash flow

 

 

Finally
 

You’ve structured your Rs. 7.5 crore goal very thoughtfully

You are clear about income and long-term appreciation

Your fund choice is broadly good, with only minor changes needed

Avoid risky bonds like perpetuals as your lifestyle depends on monthly cash flow

Go for actively managed regular funds via Certified Financial Planner support

Keep tax, liquidity, insurance and emergency planning all in place

This will help you enjoy your retirement peacefully and confidently

 

 

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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