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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Singh Question by Singh on May 12, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I m 43 old male , looks ten year younger.sinc3 last 3 months i m infatuated with colleague 30 yr married lady with child .I m continuously thinking about her,her looks,her habits,her choice,her ,hobbies 24 hrs ,even in sleep like a teenager.I dont know how to overcome it.Her attitude is normal ,pure professional with me without any indication of liking. I don't know how to overcome?

Ans: Dear Singh,
What's the point being obsessed with a person who has nothing to do with you?
Respect where she is in her life and more importantly, respect your life, your time and energy.

Focus on things that can help you not just manage your mind, but can add value to your personal and professional life. For example: A hobby, working out, doing a certification course and so on...

What you focus on multiplies and when you focus on something that yields nothing, it's like pouring water in the desert hoping for it to turn into a farmland. So, treat yourself better and start this very moment, NOW!

All the best!

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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 years old married who is woking at an establishment of a Public Sector company. I am holding a senior position. I have one female colleague who is of my age and married. She very frequently comes to my cabin and sits with me. She sits very close to me almost touching my body. She is very frank with me and discuss very personal things with me. She adores me a lot. Since last couple of days, I have started missing her when she is not around. I don't know how to overcome this situation. I think she also has liking for me. Please advise what to do
Ans: If you choose to go ahead, then let her know and take things forward with her. Its clear you are attracted to her.

If you are attracted to your colleague and you believe that she is interested in you, then you may want to consider pursuing a relationship with her. However, it is important to be aware of the potential risks and consequences of doing so.

If you don't want to proceed with her, then start focusing on your hobbies, works, other interests.

If you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with your colleague, then it is important to set clear boundaries and focus on other aspects of your life. This may include spending more time with your family and friends, pursuing your hobbies, or focusing on your career.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with your colleague is up to you. However, it is important to weigh the potential risks and benefits before making a decision.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024
Relationship
I recently joined a new organisation and had developed a friendship with a new woman colleague who has joined new.Offlate I see her where she has huge crush on me.Iam married with 2 kids and she has got late marriage with 1 kid.I pick her and drop her often.I could sense she is mad and possessive on me and offlate I also intend in having crush on her and I couldn't live without seeing or speaking with her.We never opened out but I could sense from both of us feelings.We both have not opened up but not told in open but she always says you r so handsome etc.But tell me how to deal with this.I feel couldn't live without her.. Please suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are two issues I would like to address- first, you both are married. Second, you are assuming she has a crush on you. I do not know how you want to approach this 'crush' when you are in a legally committed relationship. In normal circumstances, I would've suggested getting verbal confirmation of your coworker's feelings first and then pursuing her, but in your case, how she feels does not even matter because you are not single; neither is she. The right course of action would be to reflect on your feelings and get to the root of them- why are you seeking these feelings outside of your marriage and what is lacking in it? Then have an open discussion with your wife and take it from there- you will have two options: work on your marriage, or opt for separation and then pursue any crush you want to. But before that, I cannot offer you any other advice.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

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Relationship
Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. We both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,
Ans: Dear Rupannita,
You can't keep one leg at home and another in another place and expect both to work the way that you want.
You are attached to the family and that's the place you are going to feel happy as well. So, all these feelings for the other person; do evaluate what it's going to do to your peace of mind.
Feelings cannot be deleted as you said BUT whether you want to act on those feelings is a choice that you must make. See where your life moves hanging onto a parallel life!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 01, 2024

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Relationship
Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. Now we both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,
Ans: The first step in addressing this is to recognize that feelings, while they can be powerful, do not define actions. You’ve already demonstrated a strong commitment to your family by maintaining boundaries and shifting your relationship with your colleague to a purely professional one. This shows a conscious effort to align your actions with your values, which is an important foundation.

It’s also important to reflect on what might have contributed to these feelings. They may not solely be about your colleague as a person but could also reflect unmet emotional needs, stress, or the appeal of a connection that feels easy and understanding during a challenging time in your life. Identifying these underlying factors can help you understand yourself better and redirect your energy toward strengthening your emotional connection with your family.

Managing the proximity with your colleague at work is understandably challenging. To maintain your professional relationship while protecting your personal boundaries, consider setting clear mental and emotional limits. Focus conversations strictly on work-related topics, avoid situations that might blur boundaries, and remind yourself regularly of your commitment to your family and the life you’ve built with them.

It might also help to channel the emotional energy you’ve felt toward this colleague into enhancing your relationship with your spouse. Reinvesting in your marriage—through shared activities, open communication, or even small gestures of affection—can help renew your bond and remind you of what is truly meaningful in your life.

If these feelings continue to linger and cause distress, speaking with a therapist or counselor could provide a safe space to process your emotions and explore strategies to cope. They can help you navigate this situation in a way that aligns with your values and preserves your emotional well-being.

The fact that you are seeking advice and prioritizing your family shows that you are deeply committed to doing the right thing. With time, effort, and self-awareness, you can navigate these emotions and maintain integrity in both your personal and professional life.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7365 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Team, I am 30 and have below SIPs. Please review them and let me know if i have to make any changes. Hdfc large & Mid cap fund - 5000 Motilal Oswal Mid cap fund - 5000 Kotak infrastructure and eco fund - 2000 PGIM India Mid Cap Opportunities Fund- 5000 SBI Contra -1500 Motila Oswal business cycle fund-3000 Focus is to continue SIP for longterm
Ans: Your portfolio reflects a proactive approach to wealth creation. Each fund serves a distinct purpose. Let's assess and optimise your investments for long-term growth.

Strengths of Your Current Portfolio
Diverse Investment Strategy: Your funds cover multiple segments like large-cap, mid-cap, and thematic investments.

Long-Term Focus: A consistent SIP approach aligns with compounding benefits and market cycles.

Mid-Cap Exposure: Allocating significant SIPs to mid-cap funds positions your portfolio for growth.

Inclusion of Thematic Funds: Thematic funds add sectoral focus, offering opportunities in specific growth areas.

Areas for Improvement
Concentration in Mid-Cap Funds: A high allocation to mid-cap funds can increase volatility. Diversification is key.

Overlapping Thematic Focus: Funds with sectoral or cyclical focus may overlap in strategy.

Balance Between Growth and Stability: Adding more stability-focused funds can protect the portfolio in downturns.

Fund-Specific Observations
Large and Mid-Cap Fund
This fund balances growth and stability.

Retain this allocation for consistent returns and risk management.

Mid-Cap Funds
Significant allocation to mid-cap funds is growth-oriented.

Review performance and overlap to avoid redundancy.

Consider reallocating some amount to flexi-cap funds for diversification.

Thematic Infrastructure Fund
Sector-focused funds can be volatile and dependent on market cycles.

Limit thematic exposure to 10% of your overall portfolio.

Monitor this fund closely to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Contra and Business Cycle Funds
Both funds are contrarian and cyclical in nature.

Overlapping strategies may lead to concentration risk.

Retain one fund and reallocate the other to a balanced or flexi-cap fund.

Recommendations for Portfolio Optimisation
Enhance Diversification
Add a balanced allocation to large-cap or flexi-cap funds for stability.

Diversification reduces risk and enhances long-term returns.

Monitor and Evaluate Performance
Regularly review fund performance to ensure alignment with goals.

Replace underperforming funds without hesitation.

Adjust Thematic and Sectoral Exposure
Limit thematic funds to a smaller portion of your portfolio.

Sector-focused funds are cyclical and require active monitoring.

Tax-Efficiency
Long-term equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh attract 12.5% tax.

Short-term gains attract a 20% tax.

Consider tax efficiency while planning redemptions.

Importance of Regular Funds
Direct funds lack personalised guidance and portfolio tracking.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures regular reviews and professional advice.

Regular funds offer value-added services and align with long-term goals.

Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured for long-term growth but needs refinement.

Reduce concentration in mid-cap and thematic funds for better risk management.

Increase exposure to diversified and balanced funds for stability.

Seek professional guidance to optimise performance and adapt to market trends.

Your disciplined SIP approach will reward you over time. Stay consistent and review periodically.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7365 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello, Sir. I am a 41-year-old male with a 9-year-old son and a housewife. I need advise on how to undertake financial planning because I want to retire early, perhaps at age 48-50. I am currently outside of India and have 2.5 crore in NRE FDs, roughly 60 lakhs in Mutual Funds, 8 lakhs in share market, and 8 lakhs in PF. I have floater health insurance for 15 lakhs. Some LIC's for roughly 5 lakhs. I have one rented flat that pays 12,000 per month and an ancestor property that pays 20,000. In the next 3-6 months, I plan to buy a one-crore flat and return to India permanently in the following few months.I plan to buy a one-crore flat in the next 3-6 months, return to India permanently in the next 1-2 months, and work for an IT company with an annual income of approximately 25-35 lacs. I know I lost the opportunity to invest some money during/after the covid time; else, I would have had a somewhat better portfolio. I need your advice on how to properly invest my FD's money.
Ans: Planning for early retirement requires careful analysis and structured execution. Your current financial situation reflects a strong foundation. Let’s optimise your resources to achieve your goals.

Assessing Current Financial Standing
Your assets are well-distributed across various instruments:

Rs. 2.5 crore in NRE FDs
Rs. 60 lakhs in Mutual Funds
Rs. 8 lakhs in shares
Rs. 8 lakhs in PF
Floater health insurance for Rs. 15 lakhs
Rs. 12,000 rental income from one flat
Rs. 20,000 rental income from ancestral property
LIC policies worth Rs. 5 lakhs
This portfolio indicates a mix of liquidity, growth, and stability.

Setting Clear Retirement Goals
Define retirement income needs based on desired lifestyle. Early retirement at 48-50 means funding 30-40 years of expenses.

Factor in inflation, medical needs, child’s education, and your family’s future financial security.

Challenges to Address
High allocation to fixed deposits (FDs), which have low returns post-tax.
Underutilisation of mutual funds and equity investments.
Managing new property purchase without compromising retirement corpus.
Optimising Your Investments
Fixed Deposits
Move a significant portion of FD funds to growth-oriented investments.
Retain only a portion for emergencies or short-term needs.
Mutual Funds
Increase allocation to diversified mutual funds.
Focus on a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds for growth.
Use regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner for personalised advice and portfolio tracking.
Share Market Investments
Rs. 8 lakhs in shares needs a review. Assess performance and risks.
Shift underperforming or speculative stocks to diversified equity funds.
Provident Fund
PF provides stability. Let it compound till retirement for assured returns.
LIC Policies
Evaluate LIC policies. Surrender low-yield policies and redirect funds to mutual funds.
Ensure sufficient life insurance coverage through term plans.
Managing Real Estate Investments
Your plan to purchase a flat for Rs. 1 crore is prudent. However:

Avoid using FD funds entirely for this purchase.
Opt for a small loan if needed, keeping EMIs manageable.
Leverage rental income from this property to supplement post-retirement income.
Health and Life Insurance
Your Rs. 15 lakh health insurance is adequate for now.
Increase coverage to Rs. 25-30 lakhs upon returning to India.
Secure a term insurance policy with sufficient coverage to protect your family.
Tax Efficiency
Post-return to India, your NRE FDs will lose tax exemptions.

Redirect funds to tax-efficient instruments like equity mutual funds and debt funds.
Long-term capital gains on equity funds are taxed favourably.
Child’s Education and Family’s Security
Allocate a dedicated corpus for your son’s higher education.
A mix of equity and balanced funds will help achieve this goal.
Emergency Fund
Set aside Rs. 15-20 lakhs as a liquid emergency fund.
Use liquid mutual funds or short-term debt funds for easy access.
Regular Monitoring and Review
Review your portfolio every 6-12 months with a Certified Financial Planner.
Adjust allocations based on market trends, personal goals, and economic changes.
Final Insights
Your financial foundation is solid. With strategic changes, you can retire early with confidence.

Diversify investments, optimise tax efficiency, and plan systematically for your goals. Stay disciplined and avoid speculative ventures.

Your foresight in seeking advice ensures a secure and fulfilling retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |188 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

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Career
Hello! Sir This is Sravani.I am a M.Pharmacy postgraduate and has a work experience of 6 years in Quality control department in pharma industry.At present i am working in the same department. But i want to go for work from home job.so that i can spend time with my kids. Both my kids are in kindergarten. It's becoming tough for me to manage both job & kids as my working hours are too long. Please do suggest me any kind of work from home job which suits my profile. Regards Sravani
Ans: Hi Sravanthi,

It's great to hear that you have six years of experience in Quality Control (QC). As you know, QC roles are generally onsite, unlike IT roles that can often be done remotely. Given your expertise in QC, you have the option to transition to Quality Assurance (QA), Regulatory Affairs (RA), or the Validation team, but we need to assess the feasibility of such a shift. While it is uncommon, it is possible to find roles in RA, such as preparing and submitting documents, pharmacovigilance, or medical scribing. However, since these are not your areas of expertise, if you choose to pursue them, you may be considered a fresher in those fields.

You also mentioned that need to work long hours. Even with work from home (WFH), you will likely face similar challenges; once you log in, you cannot skip the tasks assigned to you. Being at home may hinder your ability to care for your children, creating additional difficulties.

If you are financially stable, you might consider quitting your current job to find other opportunities or to take care of your family. If not, you will need to weigh your options carefully.

My recommendation is to prefer onsite work rather than WFH.

On a lighter note, there are many advantages to onsite work that can actually save you money—such as reduced electricity bills, food expenses, and travel costs. Compared to WFH, where you may incur higher electricity costs due to using AC and your computer, along with food expenses for snacks and meals.

Logically speaking, as a working woman, if your maid were asking for a WFH arrangement, how would you respond?

As an additional suggestion, you might consider applying for government jobs as a Junior or Senior Analyst in your state’s Drug Testing Lab within the Drugs Control Department.

Ultimately, I recommend that you continue in your current field and potentially explore opportunities in a different company or industry that offers a higher salary. Alternatively, you could also consider transitioning to QA, but ideally in an onsite position.

All the best.

...Read more

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