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Ravi Mittal |677 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2024Hindi

Relationship

My husband of 23 years is emotionally cheating on me. He has been in touch with his school friend for 7 yrs...some of the earlier texts he sent her were very intimate ( i am hungry for you, i miss you etc)..then he promised to break it off once i found out..fast forward to dec2023. He went to US for 3 wks..once he returbed he was distant with me. I suspected something and checked his phone...found him calling her 8 times a day...upon confronting he said he was meeting her since past year and also just talking with her...assured me no sex took place but i doubt it..i am so heartbroken..he has lied before so i dont trust him anymore. I am seeking counseling but still very deprrssed. He refuses to apologize or show any remorse..does not promise hw wont see her again. What to do? Give up 23 yrs of marriage???

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear this. I understand that these are challenging times and kudos to you for taking necessary steps such as seeking the help of a counselor to take care of your mind. Now coming to your question- it's essential to reflect on whether you genuinely wish to continue a relationship with a partner who not only lacks respect for you and your marriage but also shows no remorse for their actions. If you're inclined to give this relationship a second chance, you need to set ground rules. Seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor can help address the issues that have surfaced over the past couple of years, working together to mend the broken aspects and build a stronger future. But if you do not want to continue, if you want to give up, if you think your partner does not deserve these efforts, it is okay. Do not feel guilty for choosing self-respect and sanity over your marriage.

I cannot directly ask you to give up, but I will encourage you to reflect on what would truly be best for you, not for your husband or society. You.

Best Wishes!

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2022

Question by VT - Apr 21, 2022Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu Mam, I am married for 4 and half years now and have a 3 YO daughter. It was an arranged marriage and the families were not familiar before.My husband started behaving very rude to me since my delivery. He verbally abused me a lot and finally I felt something was not right and opened up to my parents, that I cannot live with him, after 3 years of the marriage.My parents supported me and took care of my daughter and me for a year, after which my husband's family convinced me to move back in with him. When I came back to him I realised he has been cheating on me with his colleague since before my delivery. When I probed the issue further, without his knowledge, I got to know that he was a polygamous person for 10 years before marriage. And this shook me. I also got to know he is meeting one of his female friends after work hours, lying to me. He used to lie to me that he's going out for work and talk to his other female friend on phone for an hour or so, once every 2-3 days.He watches porn every day.I slowly realised he was just exploiting me for his physical needs.Our relationship turned cold within 3 months of restarting it.I was not happy being with him. I knew he was still cheating me, but he never obliged when I confronted.I could not let him even touch me.Finally, out of his frustration, he physically attacked me in front of our daughter, tried to strangulate my throat, but by god's grace I could save myself.That day, 30th of August 2021, I left that place with my daughter and came back to my parents.I filled a domestic harassment complaint against him, for which we're attending counselling sessions now.I cannot think of a life with him anymore.I have made up my mind to file an FIR against him soon.I must say I'm at peace now.But I still have a lot of anguish whenever those thoughts cross my mind. Is there a way where I can make peace with my past?

Dear VT,

Physical abuse is an absolute NO and so is emotional abuse. I am glad that you have decided to end this misery for yourself and your daughter.

Please proceed with the FIR and also seek help on filing divorce if that is something that you have considered.

On the emotional part of it, it will take a toll on you and your health as you are unprepared at this moment. So start by:

1. Visualizing your life without him by your side

2. Working out granular details like finances and where you will live

3. Chalking out a plan of how your daughter will be cared for if you choose to start working

4. Listing down which close family member will be by your side (emotionally) always

As daunting as this may seem, it is possible to be in a space of strength which you already have experienced and move ahead to a better life.

And as you do this, do remember that you are important, so take care of your thoughts and feelings as well.

Spend time in Nature observing and appreciating
Surround yourself with people and friends who care and love you unconditionally
Exercise and eat well
Pamper yourself by caring for your physical appearances
Do what you love every day at least for 30 minutes

Situations maybe tough to handle but building strength within at the right time is what is the need of the hour.
I wish you the best in life always.

Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, my husband has been talking to my maid from last 3 years. Also, helped her for raising funds for her daughter's marriage without my knowledge. However, I caught him through his phone. That maid called him every now and then. They spoke for hours without my knowledge. Last time also the same thing happened but he promised me it will not happen again, hence I let it pass. Last time though his phone statement I caught him after which they started talking through what's app call. My husband is apologizing me and saying he didn't had a physical relationship with her and this will not happen again. I completely lost my trust on him. I didn't had intimacy from last 2 years and now after knowing this whenever he comes close I feel disgusted with his touch. I am the major contributor to the family financially. After doing so much for him and supporting him though his rough patch, this is what I got from him. I feel shattered now, what should I do? please help ????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly this is not the first time that your husband has been involved in 'something on the side'.
When he shows no remorse and no willingness to change his ways, obviously he's seeking a lot of validation from external sources. In this case, it happens to be the maid. (I hope you have sacked the maid already!).

Obviously with repeated instances of him going back on his word, the trust factor is in question. Does he even care? Your marriage is in a place where you must now either work on putting it back OR give him an ultimatum. What will work in your case, is something that only you will know...
Time to bring your husband to his senses; which means perhaps involving a professional to guide you. You may have to go at this by yourself, seek help in managing your husband and his waywardness. Then your husband will be roped in to deal with his deep down need for validation and succumbing to it over and over again. Then you can begin to function as a single unit towards making the marriage work. This looks like a lot to go through BUT the decision is yours.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Kanchan Rai |646 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hii, my husband and I have a love marriage after 9 years of dating, now it has been 6 years and two children after that, little one is 8months old. He had a brief affair extending to chatting mostly as far as I know to someone who works in the same company but different department to him when my little one was 1 month old, we were in rough patch that time due to child birth difficulties and family drama. Then as I got to know about the same, by casually checking his phone and confronted him he accepted his mistake and said sorry. And said he won't be doing that again but I caught him again somehow chatting and same repeat he said he is wrong and now as per him he have reduced talking to that girl. But as I think he talks to her thoda bhot, as she is his junior position and asks for help once a while. I love my husband a lot, but this thing hurt my self respect and I am in a lot of torture mentally. I know my husband won't leave me, but I don't want to stay in such a relationship which feels a burden to my partner. I want my husband to be happy too. I am very confused what to do. I have talked to him on several times, every time he listen and helps me calm down, some times we fought also. But I am not at peace. Ps that girl is also married to her love just 2 years back. I don't want to harm my husband's reputation in any way. But I am very much hurt also. I have been reading your column for 3-4 now. I am also financially independent. I don't need anything form him, just his love. Sorry for the length, please help me.?

Ans: In your heart, it’s clear that you love him deeply and that, ideally, you want to preserve your family and relationship. However, it’s important not to dismiss your own needs for validation, love, and respect. Sometimes, the process of forgiveness includes setting strong, clear boundaries. Your husband needs to understand that while you’re willing to work on the relationship, trust is fragile and requires commitment to restore. This might mean a commitment on his part to keep all communication with this colleague strictly professional and transparent, or even a decision to minimize interactions with her entirely if necessary. Expressing these boundaries clearly may help him see the gravity of what’s at stake.

It’s also valuable to remember that healing from betrayal is not a quick process. Even with reassurances and boundaries in place, your feelings of hurt, betrayal, and anger may surface unexpectedly. Be gentle with yourself in this process and consider turning inward to strengthen your own resilience. Financial independence is an incredible strength, and leaning into the aspects of your life that bring you personal fulfillment can be grounding. Investing in your own well-being will help you feel more centered, no matter where this journey takes you.

If, at any point, you feel that his actions aren’t aligning with his words and that trust cannot be rebuilt, remember that choosing a path that prioritizes your mental peace is not a failure. Some couples also find that a temporary separation helps provide clarity; this doesn’t have to mean ending the relationship but could be a chance to reset, reflect, and decide if you both are truly aligned in your vision for the future.

In the end, what matters most is that you feel respected, valued, and loved in a way that doesn’t compromise your self-worth. This situation is a challenging chapter, but with clarity, boundaries, and professional support, you can find a path that honors both your love for your husband and your own dignity.

Ravi Mittal |677 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

Latest Questions

Nayagam P P |10854 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.

Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

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Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir maine 2024 me 12 pass Kiya aur kya 75% se kam rah gaye to kya mai 2025 me nios ka exam dekar 75%+ jee mains de sakta hu jabki maine abhi koi attempt nahi diye jee mains ke aur advance me kitne attempt milenge sir

Ans: Your query has already been replied to you. Please copy and paste the following link in your browser to read it again - https://gurus.rediff.com/hi/question/qdtl/career/given-12th-xam-first-2024-unable-score-75-percentage-gave/5244427

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir namaste maine 2024 me12th pass Kiya aur 75% se kam marks aaye to kya 2026 me nios ka exam dekar jee mains de sakta hu aur jee advance me kitne attempt milenge

Ans: Your query has already been replied to you. Please copy and paste the following link in your browser to read it again - https://gurus.rediff.com/hi/question/qdtl/career/given-12th-xam-first-2024-unable-score-75-percentage-gave/5244427

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1840 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Question by Rahul - Dec 14, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir I have registered for jee main january attempt as a general category student but now I have a ews catagory certificate..So can I apply this certificate in the jee main 2026 april attempt?

Ans: Yes — you can apply your EWS certificate in the JEE Main 2026 April attempt,

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1840 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025

Career

Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure

Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1840 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Ashish - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Namaste sir , maine 2024 me 12 pass Kiya aur mai 75% nahi la paya to kya mai 2026 me nios exam dekar jee mains de sakta hu aur jee advance ke liye kitne attempt milenge

Ans: JEE Main ke liye 12th pass hona hi kaafi hai, 75% criteria sirf NIT / IIT / IIIT / GFTI admission ke liye hota hai.

NIOS ek valid board hai (CBSE ke barabar maana jata hai).

Agar aap 2026 me NIOS se 12th pass kar lete ho, to:

Aap 2026, 2027, 2028 me JEE Main de sakte ho.

Mayank Chandel |2575 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Sudhir - Nov 18, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello My son will be completing his tenth this year and wish to appear for NEET. We reside at Andheri-Mumbai. Can you please suggest good coaching institutes for the same near by based on overall performance , teacher quality and process of coaching

Ans: Hello Sudhir Ji
it will be very difficult for me to suggest on this.

Radheshyam Zanwar |6744 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2025Hindi

Career

Mai bihar board se 10 or 12 kiya hu or jee main bhi diya mera cutoff clear nhi hua or 3 attempt khatam ho gya hai kya mai ab nios board se fir se 12 complete karke jee main or advanced de sakta hu koe problem hogi kya

Ans: Yes, you can complete 12th again from NIOS and appear for JEE Main, but JEE Advanced has age, attempt, and year-of-passing restrictions, so eligibility for JEE (Adv) may still be an issue.

Honest opinion & suggestion - Even after 3 failed trials, why are you running behind JEE? It would be better to appear for the state-level engineering examination. Get admission to your preferred college and branch. Complete your undergraduate degree. While pursuing UG, appear for GATE. Crack it. With a high score, you can get admission to PG @ IIT. The dream of IIT can be easily fulfilled via this route. There is no sense in appearing for JEE again, especially after completing 12th @ NIOS board. It is just a waste of time, money, and effort.

The final decision will be yours! Only I can suggest.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Mayank Chandel |2575 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Question by Saroja - Dec 12, 2025Hindi

Career

My son has passed 12th board exam in the year 2024. Is he eligible to appear JEE Main in Jan or Apr 2027 ?

Ans: Hello Saroja
Student can appear JEE-Mains for three years starting from his 12th appeared year. So the answer for your is NO.

Mayank Chandel |2575 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 04, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir my name on aadhar is first name +surname On tenth marksheet is first name+fathers name +surname Will it create problem for jee exams

Ans: I don't think there should be any problem. They may ask you to submit the affidavit if they feel so.
In the mean time you can get your aadhar updated as per your marksheet.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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