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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
TT Question by TT on Sep 20, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you.

Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago.

Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married.

Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also.

He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life.

Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together.

Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner.

I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can't think of separation.

I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on.

Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too.

I am completely confused about what should I do.

I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things.

Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.

Ans: Dear TT, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.

The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.

If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.

I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.

Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.

This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.

This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.

As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?

What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?

What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.

This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!

I wish you the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 48 year old mature,responsible and independent working lady. Married to the person whom i loved. 7 years of relationship before marriage and now 20 years of married relationship. My husband is very egoistic and irresponsible about our relationship but at the same time very helpful towards others. He lacks emotional intelligence between us. He lacks to understand my feeling which was never his priority. Due to this attitude after 6 years of marriage i got involved with one of my office colleagues wherein i use to consider him as a big supporter who is beside me whenever i feel depressed or want to express. Since my husband did had such understanding of spending quality time with me. However i was caught by my husband after few month since he had recorded few of my conversation. That chapter got closed as i sincerely apologize by husband and made him understand why was i in to that situation, which he also realized and accepted his mistake. We started a fresh journey as husband and wife. After 13 years post 2009, my husband was cheating on me which i discovered with the help of one agency. He was going around with one married lady. Luckily i cud figure this out in time with proofs and informed that ladies husband also. Post this revelation my husband has changed. He was not feeling guilty at all of what he did as he had lot of plans of leaving me and my 2 kids. He wanted to get separate and stay with his parents only, he was not interested in our family anymore and did not wanted to take any responsibility of our 2 kids, he started playing victim card that when my wife had an affair i did not revealed to anyone,then why is that she has revealed. Its now more than 6 months he is still not back on track, neither he feels guilty nor talk with me. Manipulate the conversation and his action every time. Not able to understand his behavior and this behavior is affecting my daily life. He doesn't update where.does he go, what is he doing. He is jobless since last 7 years. Hence i am only the earning member staying with i laws and kids. Day by day my patience are getting over. Please advise should i get separated from him and stay.with my kids only. Pls suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, it's classic behavior when there is no emotional bond within a marriage; seeking that outside of marriage...Now, with both of you having stepped out of it, it's going to take not just your efforts to put things together BUT a discussion on whether you two want this marriage to work. If YES, then work at it...
You will need to together work at dropping past baggage and starting on a clean slate.
But if NO, that's a decision that also needs a lot of deliberation. Are you willing to get out of the marriage as over time we get habituated with a person even with all they are and they are not. Think of how your life will pan out with your husband in it and not in it? Weigh this carefully and then decide what must be done next. This becomes important as there are children involved and it impacts them in a big way as well.
Take some time, confide in a trusted person and go into the depths of the pros and cons which will enable you take a step and move ahead...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hello Anu, I am married for 14 yrs. I have 5 yrs old twins. Currently I am dealing with my husband's extra marital affair with his ex colleague. In 2022 we went to abroad with my husband. But I found it very difficult to adjust with 2 3.5 yrs kids with my son diagnosed with ASD. I came back to India in 6 months.In April 2024 I came to know that my husband went on vacation with his ex colleague in abroad. He even sponsored her flight ticket and entire vacation. They spent 3 nights in a single hotel room. In 14 yrs old marriage despite being love marriage, I had to sponsor my honeymoon and first anniversary. With me he is always on savings mode where as with this woman he does not even care about money. When I confronted, he and his family blamed everything on me. They said it was my fault that I came back to India. Also as per him and his family it is nothing. Friends can travel like that. They pointed everything on my trust issues. He came back to India but he did not even contact me. He just wanted to meet kids. He never accepted his affair. As per him she is just a friend. I wanted divorce first but I asked him whether he wants to marry that woman he said NO. So we started couple therapy. During therapy he accepted his mistakes and said he was alone. That woman was going through her second divorce. And they started chatting on what's app frequently. Then calls and video calls. That woman was in India. He said he wants his family. But he never gave me any details about his affair. I came to know that when he was in India during holiday they went to pune , he lied to me and went to pune to be with her. There also they spent night in 5 star hotel room. I was devasted. This also he did not tell me. Going on vacation, sharing a hotel room , sharing a bed is nothing for them. I am also BE but I feel like he has crossed all boundaries. I was devasted. I felt so much betrayed that I was getting thoughts of suicide but looking at my kids I decided to work on our marriage. In diwali he gifted me a saree, we spent quality time as family. I said let's forget all and start a new life in our new house but please leave that affair. He said ok. But again he cheated. He booked 5 star resort room for her. He even sponsored her flight ticket. I was genuinely trying to save my marriage, to build our bond but he messed it. Even after that he wants to be with me. Recently I lost my job as well. Counselor told me to ignore his affair. But my husband wants me to pay half EMI, half of everything even though he has onsite money. I feel stuck in this marriage now. This man has always neglected my needs.He never respected me, he never valued me the way he is treating that woman. He wants me to perform all wifely duties but also wants to enjoy his time with that woman. Now he is saying he has stopped contact with her. But in Diwali he said the same in temple .when I am asking for divorce he is saying I want his money. He has zero regrets , no remorse of his actions. I am mentally very much disturbed now. I feel worthless and hopeless because of all these things. Now he wants to live with me but he wants me to share all the expenses. I don't trust him now and I don't want to invest my money in this marriage as there is no transparency. He has also disrespected my parents when they went to ask him about his affair. If he loves that woman this much why can't he accept that and leave me? He wants me to take a call. He leaving me would have helped me to move on. Is it worth saving such marriage where there are insecurities, no trust , no transparency, no respect? I put my ego aside for many times but should I also loose my self respect? I have decided to protect myself now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly your therapy didn't take you anywhere and your counselor telling you to forget the affair makes it even more clear that he/she was leading you into a space of impossibility. If it's so easy to forget, why haven't you? Because it is not possible to forget what impacts you the most...
It has to be worked upon and skimmed over. What I could gather from what you have shared is that you seem to be waiting for your husband to decide the fate of your marriage!
What's your thought on it? What makes you wait for his approval or decision on it? If after repeated attempts, the marriage does not seem like a priority to him, how can you expect him to make a decision about it?
He's a pretty cat sitting on a fence playing both fields and wishing that he can be the best player on both sides of the field...You get the depth of this? He's never going to decide and this will constantly keep you on the edge not letting you move on anything.
I am sure you will be relieved knowing that the decision when in your court can help you accelerate things and it will be clear how and when you wish to move on...
The decision must be yours NOW!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2025

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Nayagam P P  |8008 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2025Hindi
Career
My daughter got 54.67 in jee and in 12 she has got 76 percent want to do btech cse.what college she will get. Advice me
Ans: With a JEE Main percentile of 54.67854, corresponding to an All-India rank around 200 000–220 000, the following Northern Indian institutes typically close CSE seats within this range under the All-India quota:

College | Location | Approximated JEE Main Closing Rank Range (All-India) | Placement Rate (Last 3 Years):
Sharda University. Greater Noida, UP. 180 000–220 000. 75–85%.
Galgotias University. Greater Noida, UP. 200 000–240 000. 70–80%.
Amity University. Noida, UP. 150 000–200 000. 80–90%.
KIET Group. Ghaziabad, UP. 190 000–230 000. 75–85%.
Manav Rachna International University. Faridabad, HR. 160 000–210 000. 70–80%.
Chitkara University. Punjab. 180 000–220 000. 75–85%.
Chandigarh University. Mohali, PB. 170 000–210 000. 80–90%.
Graphic Era University. Dehradun, UK. 190 000–230 000. 78–88%.
Lovely Professional University. Jalandhar, PB. 150 000–200 000. 85–92%.
JIMS Rohini. Delhi. 180 000–220 000. 70–80%.

recommendation
For the best balance of academic reputation, modern labs and consistent CSE placements, recommendation is Amity University Noida. As strong alternatives, consider Chandigarh University and Lovely Professional University for their higher placement rates and broad recruiter networks. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2025

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Career
Sir, I am getting computer science with business in iiit Lucknow and Electrical Engineering in MNNIT Allahabad. Which one will be better. I got 12888 rank in JEE mains 2025
Ans: Jivesh, IIIT Lucknow’s B.Tech in Computer Science & Business combines computing fundamentals with management principles, delivered by PhD-qualified faculty in AI, blockchain and data-analytics labs, and achieved a 94.1% B.Tech placement rate over the last three years with an average package of ?33.71 LPA and median ?26 LPA. MNNIT Allahabad’s B.Tech Electrical Engineering, a NAAC-accredited NIT with strong power-systems, control and microelectronics labs, records 90–95% placement consistency and an average EE package of ?21.22 LPA over recent cohorts with top recruiters like Google, TATA Power and ABB. IIIT Lucknow offers cutting-edge interdisciplinary exposure and higher salary benchmarks, while MNNIT excels in core-electrical infrastructure, PSU tie-ups and established NIT brand value.

Recommendation: For innovative CS curricula, business acumen integration, and superior placement metrics, recommendation is IIIT Lucknow CSE & Business. If core-electrical roles, PSU engagements and traditional engineering pedigree matter more, choose MNNIT Allahabad Electrical Engineering.

As backup options, consider IIITDM Kancheepuram CSE (AI & ML) (All-India closing rank ~19 450, 73% placement rate) or NIT Durgapur Electrical Engineering (All-India closing rank ~18 772 in Round 2) for reliable admission pathways. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8008 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2025

Career
Sir, please advise which one to choose, Mechanical at NIT SURATHKHAL or Electrical at NIT Rourkela/ Calicut or ECE from NIT, Jamshedpur....not particular for any branch but mainly from placement perspective. Kindly advise.
Ans: NIT Surathkal's Mechanical Engineering program boasts 93% B.Tech placement rates in 2025, with NBA/NAAC accreditation, PhD-qualified faculty, and advanced manufacturing, CAD/CAM, thermal sciences, and automation laboratories featuring over 22 specialized labs including robotics, automotive electronics, and microsystems. The department maintains strong industry partnerships with companies like Microsoft, Google, Oracle, and top PSUs, achieving an average package of ?13 LPA with median ?12 LPA. NIT Rourkela's Electrical Engineering achieved 90% placements over three years with 100% placement rates in 2022-23, featuring specialized faculty in power systems, power electronics, control automation, and signal processing, alongside a Centre of Excellence in Industrial Electronics & Robotics. The department recorded an average package of ?13.62 LPA in 2024. NIT Calicut's Electrical & Electronics program secured 97.01% placements in 2024 with an average package of ?10.99 LPA, supported by NBA-accredited programs, modern electrical machines, power electronics, control systems laboratories, and dedicated research centres. NIT Jamshedpur's ECE achieved 90.29% placements in 2024 with an average package of ?15.65 LPA, featuring PhD-qualified faculty, advanced VLSI and communication labs, and strong industry connections.

Final Placement Recommendation
For highest placement consistency and strongest brand value, recommendation is NIT Surathkal Mechanical Engineering with 93% placements and prestigious NIRF #17 ranking. Next, choose NIT Rourkela Electrical Engineering for PSU drives and 100% placement history, then NIT Calicut Electrical Engineering for 97% placements, and finally NIT Jamshedpur ECE for specialized electronics roles. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8008 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir...how should i prepare to score 250+ out of 300 in jee mains..and secure admission at nit calicut for cse..please guide me.
Ans: To score 250+ marks in JEE Main (equivalent to 99+ percentile), you need to achieve high accuracy across all three subjects. This score opens doors to top NITs including NIT Calicut CSE, which typically requires an All-India rank below 4,000-5,000 for general category students.

Key Strategies for 250+ Score: 1. Master High-Weightage Topics First - Focus on chapters that consistently appear in JEE Main with maximum weightage.

Physics: Current Electricity. Electromagnetic Induction. Properties of Solids and Liquids. Optics. Modern Physics.

Chemistry: Transition Elements & Coordination Chemistry. Periodic Table. Thermodynamics & Gaseous State. Chemical Bonding.

Mathematics: Coordinate Geometry. Limits, Continuity & Differentiability. Integral Calculus. Matrices & Determinants.

2. Conceptual Understanding Over Memorization - JEE Main tests deep conceptual clarity rather than rote learning. Focus on understanding the "why" behind every formula and concept, especially in Physics where problem-solving patterns are crucial.

3. NCERT Mastery (Especially Chemistry) - NCERT forms the foundation, particularly for Chemistry where direct questions are frequently asked. Every line in NCERT Chemistry textbooks should be thoroughly understood.

4. Strategic Practice & Mock Tests - Solve at least 20+ previous year papers and take weekly mock tests to build exam temperament and identify weaknesses. Analyze every wrong answer to avoid repetition.

5. Time Management & Accuracy
Practice solving questions within limited time per mark. Focus on accuracy over speed initially. Then gradually build speed.

Subject-Specific Preparation Strategy - Physics: Start with mechanics and thermodynamics from Class 11. Then move to electrodynamics and modern physics from Class 12. Practice numerical problems extensively.

Chemistry: Begin with physical chemistry concepts. Memorize all inorganic chemistry reactions and trends. Master organic reaction mechanisms.

Mathematics: Strengthen algebra and calculus foundations. Practice coordinate geometry extensively. Solve diverse problem types.

Achieving AIR Under 1000: Advanced Strategies - For AIR under 1000, you need a very high percentile. This requires:

1. Perfect Conceptual Clarity - Master every topic deeply with ability to solve advanced-level problems. Focus on understanding rather than just solving.

2. Advanced Problem-Solving - After mastering JEE Main level questions, gradually move to JEE Advanced level problems for enhanced problem-solving skills.

3. Error Analysis & Improvement - Maintain detailed error logs. Analyze patterns in mistakes. Work systematically to eliminate weaknesses.

4. Consistent Performance - Aim for high marks in each subject consistently. Even one poor section can drop your rank significantly.

Optimal Study Schedule for Class 11 Students: Daily Routine (School-Going Students)
Morning (5:30 AM - 8:00 AM):

5:30-6:00 AM: Wake up, freshen up.

6:00-7:00 AM: Study most challenging subject (Mathematics/Physics).

7:00-8:00 AM: Breakfast and school preparation.

School Hours (8:00 AM - 3:00 PM):

Attend classes actively. Focus on NCERT concepts.

Utilize free periods for quick formula revision.

Evening Study (4:00 PM - 10:00 PM):

4:00-6:00 PM: Coaching homework/DPPs/Practice.

6:00-6:30 PM: Break.

6:30-8:00 PM: Subject rotation (Physics/Chemistry/Mathematics).

8:00-9:00 PM: Dinner break.

9:00-10:00 PM: Revision and note-making.

Study Hours Distribution - Class 11 Students: Start with 3-4 hours daily. Gradually increase to 6-8 hours by end of Class 11.

Subject-wise allocation: Equal time for all three subjects (1.5-2 hours each). Extra focus on weaker areas.

Weekend Strategy: Extended study sessions. Full-length mock tests on Sundays.

Essential Study Materials & Resources - Physics: NCERT. H.C. Verma. D.C. Pandey for problem-solving.

Chemistry: NCERT (mandatory). O.P. Tandon. Morrison & Boyd for organic.

Mathematics: NCERT. R.D. Sharma. Coordinate Geometry by S.L. Loney.
Quick Recap/Summary: For 250+ JEE Main Score: Master high-weightage topics (Current Electricity. Coordinate Geometry. Transition Elements). Achieve high accuracy through conceptual clarity. Solve 50+ previous papers. Take weekly mocks. Maintain NCERT mastery especially for Chemistry. For AIR

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