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Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by TT on Sep 20, 2021Hindi

Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you.

Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago.

Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married.

Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also.

He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life.

Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together.

Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner.

I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can't think of separation.

I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on.

Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too.

I am completely confused about what should I do.

I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things.

Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.

Ans: Dear TT, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.

The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.

If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.

I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.

Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.

This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.

This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.

As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?

What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?

What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.

This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!

I wish you the best!

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 27, 2022

Question by PS - Jan 27, 2022Hindi

Dear Anu,I want a solution for my problem that is the result of my imagination (probably).My husband would travel along with his two office team mates in his car daily.One male and one female.The male member met with an accident and the lady continued going with my husband. I developed a fear and some sort of insecurity about the two of them. Things started becoming worse day by day. Regular fights, arguments have become a daily routine. I just wanted him to stop travelling with that Lady but he couldn't oblige to it saying it will hurt his image in office. I couldn't tolerate it and made a call (though caught by husband) to that lady. She understood my problem and stopped going with him.His other team mates started asking the reason for the same. He couldn't digest it and even beaten me. He also started consuming alcohol just to abuse me and shout at me.I convinced that lady to start travelling again with himThen somehow he accepted me.I do understand the things but still I feel he had cheated upon me. I feel lonely and helpless PS

Ans:

Dear PS,

This is an unfortunate turn of events for a situation that needed an open communication between the two of you.

Now, why you were insecure or why your husband didn’t want to see your perspective is anybody’s guess! But nothing justifies his beating you.

And as for his alcohol consumption, it his choice to weaken his senses even further and not wanting to face the situation at hand. And it makes no sense whatsoever when you say that after the lady started to travel with him, he accepted you.

Why does he need another person to step in to accept you? This all points more as a thing that your husband needs to work on.

Possibly he is dealing with more insecurity than you are and hence this behaviour from him. Of course, I cannot judge him without knowing his version of the story, but if you want to get past this, it’s time to have that open communication; involve a third person who will be neutral to mediate and bring in some much-needed perspectives into your relationship.

All the best and be strong!

Relationship

Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

Question by XY - Sep 22, 2022Hindi

I am from Hyderabad. Age 40 years old . My name is XY and I’ve been married for 17 years. I have two boys. Ours is a love marriage.I felt like everything will be good and smooth but right after our elder kid was born my life changed. I am an MBA and several times I told my husband that I’d like to work. He said he’d help when the right time and opportunity comes. Until then I should nurture my kids as it's my responsibility and I should support him. But in the 2015, my kid noticed his chats with another lady. I was shocked because many times he’d refused sex with me. We’d get intimate maybe twice or thrice a year. I thought he was busy or maybe he doesn’t like my body. But when I caught him he said, what is over is over. Don't raise the topic. Leave me. I just kept quiet. He said what ever happened, I will be the same for my kids’ future sake. Many quarrels happened. But in 2020 his behaviour came to light. For example if I said anything, he'd punish me by not speaking to me for months. But he'd want me to wash his clothes and fulfil other necessities at home.Once I opened up and said I want to go for counselling. There he told the doctor, ‘She wants my property but she never allows me to care of my mom. She won't allow me to talk to my friends.’ I was shocked. I told him 'I never asked for money or property. I just want to quit.' I went home and told myself if he repeats this another time I won't take it for granted. But again in the month of February, he continued his behaviour. He shifted to another bedroom for a few months where he’d watch TV and have food. He'd even sleep in the kids’ bedroom. I stopped bothering. At some point, I felt like I deserved someone who trusts me.I want to quit because he thinks I am a loyal maid who will take care of kids and the household. He communicates with like ‘What I should get? Milk veggies etc?’ He never treats me with love and affection. Now everything is spoiled. I want to have a new life. I want to be set free from him. Please suggest what to do.

Ans:

Dear XY,

And may I ask what exactly are you waiting for?

Why did you think that by you going for counselling, your husband will change his behaviour towards you?

How is that he cheats on you and still you allow him to treat you this way?

This only shows that you have lost your strength which you need most right now.

What if you were a strong independent woman who has been working?

Would you still subject yourself to this? You know the answer!

Bring back that woman who had dreams, who knew how to walk the path, who knew how a man should treat her, who knew what a marriage really is.

Can you do this?

Your kids need their mother to stand up for herself and do the right thing.

Be the woman who will not settle for anything that disrespects a woman or another human.

Seeing this, they will also know how to treat a woman and what a woman can bring into their lives.

Do the right thing, for yourself and them. Bring back that strong, independent woman who knew this and more.

Best wishes!

Relationship

Ravi Mittal |191 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Question by Nagendra - Feb 22, 2023Hindi

My name is Rajesh, I am 50 year old 4years back I got to know that my wife is in relationship with someone and after inqiuring in detail I found that, that was her second relationship. Earlier relationship was broken 1 year before. and she told me all herself when I ask on condition that if she didnt tell me I may take dicision of breaking. so sho told me everything without hiding. she is telling me that she still loves me. Arter that she stoped all contacts but after a year she strated developing contacts with facebook messenger and developed one more relationship with one FB friend. again when I got to know she stoped contacting him. this time ther was no physical relationship, but she admitted that he once kissed her. the boy tried to contact her in all ways but she somehow stopped this matter. I love my wife very much. I forgive her every time. three year passed now all this year she was not going outside alone without me. but in these days I also insisted her to go out, and she started going to yoga class where she used to go early and she is very happy now days. I dont know whether I am doing correct or not, some time I still have dought in my mind whether she will start again doing affairs. I am some times afread, dont know what to do. whether I should still continue trusting and loving my wife or what. we have one son age 16 now. I am confuesd sometimes but till date happiness is maintained in the family. But I am feeling lonely somtimes. what to do?

Ans: Dear Rajesh,

I can understand it is an impossible situation for you but this too shall pass. First things first, are you happy in a relationship that involves cheating, not once, but twice and who's to say there won't be a third? Ask yourself that. If the answer is no, it is quite understandable, but if it's yes, then why? Why would anyone be happy with a partner who cheats over and over again? Why do you think you deserve such a life? Granted, relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they should not look this grim either. You alone have kept it going for this long, and maintained harmony by accepting your partner's infidelity time and again; ask yourself what would happen if you allowed yourself to stop. You can stop tolerating it, you know?

The question isn't how you should deal with your partner who is evidently a repeat cheater. The question is how you should deal with the situation and why are you reacting in a way that almost makes me think that you believe you deserve such a relationship. As for your kid, divorce or separation has much less effect on a child than a broken marriage with two unhappy parents.

If you still want to continue, that is also okay. To each their own, but don't forget to ask yourself what are you staying in this marriage for; your kid, societal pressure, or is it unconditional love for your wife, who, by the way, does not reciprocate the same for you.

Best Wishes!

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Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2023

Question by P - Mar 17, 2023Hindi

Hi I am 38 year married woman with one 12yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as a lady does as housewife but I never got love, respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affairs with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion I decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me respecting my decision.But after these incident I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him . I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in but now its became very difficult for me to continue these married life. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide me what shall I do.

Ans: Dear P.
Never use a current situation to justify a new relationship. You are simply using the new relationship as a distraction from the old unsuccessful one.
Any reason why you had decided to accept your husband's affair?

You have not moved past your marriage to be able to handle another relationship. First things first...
1. What happens to your son in this confusion?
2. Have you decided to separate/divorce your husband before pursuing the new person?
3. Is the new person willing to accept your son and understand that he is a part of all this?
4. Are you living some unfulfilled dream with this man from your past?
5. Are you running away from the pain of your marriage and seeking solace in the new person?

Kindly answer these questions before you jump from one relationship to another. It will save you a lot of heartache and trouble.
Relationships are not something to be used to escape from and into BUT something to be grown into and grown from.

All the best!

Relationship

Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Question by Vandana - Dec 18, 2023Hindi

Hello, I am 41 year old professional. I had met my husband before marriage though social media 5 years back and thereafter maintaining distance relationship and meeting occasionally for 3 years we got married in 2021. It was a struggle for marriage as it was inter caste and inter religious marriage. Everything was smooth in relationship to the fact that I’m responsible for all financial matters as my husband has no job. He is still trying and looking for job. I didn’t mind much but would encourage him to get the job to be mentally and physically fit. Last year we went to his nephews marriage to his village. It was of 7 day programme. On second day I noticed him watching another women ( nephews mother’s sister who has 2 daughters) At that time I didn’t pay attention. After 2 days on a night function I saw my husband texting from far but he looked at that lady again. She also seemed to texting. I became suspicious. Later that night when he came to room I asked to show him his phone he was reluctant. I had to snatch his phone and I saw that he was texting the same lady and in that had asked her to meet her alone. and asking her where he can meet her. I gnashed cried and made a huge scene coz this was not what I had expected. He tried to convince that she was his girlfriend of past and suddenly after seeing her after sometime he only wanted to talk to her. I only asked her ... why alone? He had told me during dating that she had a girlfriend ( never told her identity) and that she has married and moved on. Feeling cheated I could not sleep but only cried that night and in the morning if we can return to our city. Programme had not finished but he agreed and we left. Since then that night and those days still haunt me ; thinking what didn’t I do to love him so much and in return we get cheated. I’m still with him, but mentally I still feel cheated and still am in doubt that he is in touch with her. I am not able to do my duties as part of my mind thinks he cheats me though I have confronted many times on this and he denies that he is not in touch with her Should I leave him or continue with this marriage? We still don’t have any baby.

Ans: Dear Vandana,
Clearly you are more into him than he is into you. Baby or no baby, he seems like someone who isn't going to be steady...what was the need to hide and plan a meeting and if the other lady has moved on, what is doing hanging around her?
And with no financial assurance and stability, he is only tuning his energies to external validation to 'up' his elf esteem...

Isn't it time you actually called him out for his wayward nature and his absolute reluctance to take on some responsibility in the marriage and home? The more you are quiet, the more he is going to feel that you are supporting this nonsense...call it out and NOW! And as for your state of mind, do know that you have it in you to hold your own...don't base you peace of mind on anything outside of you...

All the best!

Relationship

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi

I have my crush in class 11 and now I miss her as I done bad with her but actually nothing like happened but I blaming myself in wrong way,guru what I do ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

People make mistakes, especially when they are young. It is great that you realized yours. There is nothing much you can do about the past. You can't change it, but you can make an effort to never repeat the same mistakes. As for missing her, that is momentary. It will happen for a while, and then pass with time. If you have done something wrong with her and feel guilty about it, the best thing to do is apologize. If she doesn't seem interested in your apology, then do not bother her to shrug off the burden from your shoulders. It's your burden and yours only to carry. Try to forgive yourself and work toward being a better person. That's all you can do.

Now, in case you think you are blaming yourself for no reason, half of your problems are resolved. You already understand that this blaming is absurd. Introspect. Think about what went wrong and if you were part of it. In either case, you have to learn to forgive yourself. To err is to be human. But what you learn from it, makes you a better one.

Best Wishes.

Relationship

Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi

Hi mam,I love a boy..We both are from different states.We both work as software engineers and earn well.I am 24 and he is 26.My parents were looking alliance for me so i told them ki I like a boy..From the day I have told them they have not even asked ny opinion .My mom just keeps on repeating your dad will die as he has high bp and diabetes..you will become fatherless..My dad says he will drink poison and kill me as well..he himself told me that his image in society is more important to him and no one has give me rights to marry a boy of my own choice..My parents keep on calling me to my home so that they can make me quit my job..even after telling that I love a boy my parents went behind my back and fixed a boy for me..they say that the boy they are looking for me will be perfect..now my dad is asing me to come home..pls suggest me what should i do ..should i run away or convince them

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Classic emotional blackmail...this is not new and I have seen this in many households. Your parents are not wrong from their point of view as they feel they will choose the best person for you. But obviously blackmailing you with consequences like your father will die etc is childish and immature...
You are an adult and know what you are doing. But also, take your parents into confidence by reassuring them that you know what's right for you. Eventually in due course of time, they will come around...They might not too...Don't stress over it as any relationship that you enter into if it is based on what your parents wish may not be the best for you...
It's not about them but they are making all this about them...turn the attention onto yourself by talking to them about your independent thoughts, financial independence and how the boy is right for you (if of course the boy is right for you).
Wait patiently till they turn over...make this attempt with baby steps without giving into fights or bouts of arguments!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Relationship

Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Question by Amar - May 08, 2024Hindi

Dear Anu Madam, I was in physical relation ship for 2.5 yrs with one woman. We both have families. We met each either at her home or lodges. But suddenly 2 yrs back she stopped all things completely. But i have zero percentage sex life with my wife. So I am forcing her to continue it. But she is refusing for her family sake. So how can i covence her? Or may be it is not possible now.

Ans: Dear Amar,
Any relationship based only on sex will be short-lived. Also, the other lady has perhaps sensed a risk to her marriage and cut off all ties with you. Kindly respect it and move on...How can you convince someone who has clearly chosen her family over you?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Relationship

Ramalingam Kalirajan |2170 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Question by Anil - May 08, 2024Hindi

I am retiring with a corpus of 1.8 Cr in May 2024.I will be getting a monthly pension of 90,000.Please suggest investment options for my retirement corpus.

Ans: Congratulations on your upcoming retirement! Having a 1.8 Cr corpus and a 90,000 monthly pension puts you in a great position to enjoy your golden years. Now, let's talk about smart investment options to make your corpus last!

Understanding Your Needs

First things first, we need to understand your lifestyle and spending habits. Knowing your monthly expenses will help decide how much you can safely withdraw from your corpus each month.

Security and Stability

Since retirement is about enjoying life without worry, focus on a good mix of secure and growth-oriented investments. This will provide you with a regular income and the potential for future growth.

Investment Options to Consider

Here are some investment options to explore, keeping in mind your need for both safety and growth:

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): SCSS offers a safe and guaranteed return, with interest credited quarterly. It's a good option for a portion of your corpus.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs): These are mutual funds that invest in a mix of stocks and debt. They offer regular monthly payouts, while also giving your money a chance to grow.

Debt Funds: Less risky than stocks, debt funds invest in government bonds and corporate bonds. They provide stable returns and are good for building a buffer.

Actively Managed Equity Funds (AMCs): AMCs invest in stocks, aiming for capital appreciation over the long term. They can be riskier, but offer the potential for higher returns if the fund manager makes good choices.

Remember, diversification is key! Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Spread your corpus across different asset classes to manage risk.

Seeking Professional Help

A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can be a valuable resource. They can assess your needs, risk tolerance, and recommend a personalized investment plan that aligns with your retirement goals.

Regular Reviews are Important

The market keeps changing, so your investment plan needs to adapt as well. Schedule regular reviews with your CFP to ensure your investments are still on track.

Living Within Your Means

The key to a happy retirement is living within your means. Don't overspend your corpus. Plan your monthly expenses and withdraw only what you need.

Focus on Long-Term Growth

While some income is important, don't neglect long-term growth completely. A portion of your corpus can be invested in AMCs for potential capital appreciation.

Be Patient and Enjoy!

Building wealth takes time. Don't get worried by short-term market fluctuations. Stay invested and enjoy your retirement!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

Money

Ramalingam Kalirajan |2170 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Question by damon - May 08, 2024Hindi

I am 27 years old and have investment goal of 2 crs of by the age of 31. please suggest some sip or mutual munds which is the better

Money

Ramalingam Kalirajan |2170 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2024Hindi

Hi Sir, Me and my wife both are 40 years old. Together, we both earn around Rs. 2.5 lacs per month. We have around Rs. 1cr in MF and 50 lacs in Stocks. We are investing monthly SIP of Rs. 1 lacs per month.All the SIPs are equity oriented.Paying Rent Rs. 45k and our monthly expense is around 90 k (including rent). We have 2 kids ( 7 years and 2 years), one is having medical (Cerebral Palsy) Issue. We plan to buy a house in Gurgaon. What should be our Ideal budget to buy a property? Understanding 1 kid will always be dependent on us . No other EMI as of now.

Ans: Here's some guidance on your ideal budget for a property in Gurgaon:

Financial Strength:

Combined Income: Rs. 2.5 lacs per month is a good starting point.
Savings: Rs. 1.5 cr (Rs. 1 cr in MF + Rs. 50 lacs in Stocks) is a significant sum.
Investments: Rs. 1 lac monthly SIP shows strong saving habits.
Challenges:

Dependent Child: Having a child with Cerebral Palsy will require long-term financial planning for their care.
Monthly Expenses: Your current expenses are Rs. 1.35 lacs (including rent).
Considering these factors:

Don't stretch too thin: While you have a good income and savings, prioritize your child's needs and future medical care.
Target a 15-20 year loan term: This keeps your monthly EMI manageable.
Recommended Budget:

Focus on affordability: Aim for a property with a total cost (including registration and other charges) between Rs. 50 lacs - Rs. 1 crore. This translates to a monthly EMI of around Rs. 30,000 - Rs. 60,000 (assuming a 15-20 year loan term).
Location: Consider areas in Gurgaon with good healthcare facilities and accessibility for your child's needs. Explore areas like Sectors 56, 70, 84 or Gurgaon outskirts like Sohna or New Palam Vihar which may offer better affordability.
Additional Tips:

Talk to a Financial Advisor: Discuss your situation with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to create a personalized financial plan considering your child's needs and future goals.
Research Property Options: Look for resale flats, builder floors, or upcoming projects in your budget range. Use online portals like MagicBricks or NoBroker to get an idea of prevailing prices.
Factor in Additional Costs: Remember, there are additional costs besides the property price – registration charges, stamp duty, maintenance fees, etc.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

Money

Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Question by Amar - May 08, 2024Hindi

Dear Anu Madam, I am 45 yrs old person living with wife and son. As i am working in educational institute office, one of 33 yrs old lady faculty has shown interest in me in last 3 moths. So i invited her to meet me outside office for some minor office work. She came in hotel. We have taken coffee and discussed for half and hour on various personal things. In the end of meeting, i just gave her yellow rose to express my feelings as a good friend. But she got angry. So mam where i went wrong or wrongly made hurriness. Can i approach her again but she is not talking with me. If she is not interested, then why shown interest to come in hotel and talked so much time?

Ans: Dear Amar,
Please DO NOT indulge in relationships at your work place even if the meetings are outside. Unnecessary complications...
What was the yellow rose all about? Do you go around giving roses to every lady that you meet? She surely picked on it that you possibly have feelings for her and hence is maintaining her distance...
Just because she came to a hotel to have coffee, how did you assume that she is interested in you? Making sense, now? Your assumptions are possibly working against you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi

Hii.. i feel totally stucked in life...not only me my husband too feel helpless. We both don't know what to do in such situation. The problem is we have a son who is 22 yrs old, doesn't want to work; wants to stay at home on pretext of preparing for any exam. He is not even studying at home. We can clearly see that but he refuses to go out for work whether at his own shop or for a job. We have given him enough time to stay at home for studies but every year there is different exam for which he wants to prepare. He doesn't study sincerely at home. At least 5-6 years have passed. He's not even attending his regular college for studies. All he wants is to stay at home. He refuses to step out from his comfort zone and has become too aggressive and abusive. Please guide us what we can do to motivate him to work. Thank you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly your son has gotten used to all the comforts at home. What is the necessity to do anything?
Also, I suspect that writing one exam or the other is a way of escaping from what he truly wants to do in life. He is unclear and afraid to face what he might want and afraid that he might fail. This fear of failure will simply make him write one exam after the other in the hope that he does not have to decide what he needs to do.
Kindly take him to a Career Counselor who can evaluate his strength areas and suggest an academic course that is suitable for him. After which seek an appointment with a professional who can streamline his thinking and put him on a goal-focused path. This might help him.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Relationship

Anu Krishna |856 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi

To start with i live abroad . I was married in 2009 with 1 kid and divorced later in year 2017 abroad only as i got into a new love relationship and married after 1 yr with no kids my present wife knows about my past and moreover we trying to have baby but due to medical conditions and diabetic myself unable and have to hear negative things she is working well and independent but due to all this i befriended another girl and had developed a feeling towards her and had relationship with her as well she knows about that i am married but cant leave my gf want to marry her we had good communication as well between us but at times we fight due to issues that i am married still not divorced and moreover she doesnot know about my 1st marriage either sometimes i feel embrassing whag ppl will think of me i am tired of my life being the only child of my mom i cant do anything as she is too old 85 yrs and heart patient. I am 42 currently married with wife 41 yrs age but seems lost interest in her and often fight shd doesnt live with me as i am away for 3 years and goes home 1 a year. The new gf is 35 yrs old but dont want to lose her we have been to nany trips together in about 5 to 6 countries . I am having mentally stress what to do sometimes feel to end up my life

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I don't mean to sound judgemental here...but what exactly are you stressed about? You seem to be hopping about from one relationship to another without working on things when they get stressful.
Did it occur to you that when things sour between two people that it is possible with some effort to work on things? The answer does not lie in running away and jump into the arms of another women.
There's a clear pattern of possible 'escapism' when things get uncomfortable...So, STOP and reevaluate what you are running from, what comfort do you run towards and how is this actually helping your mental state...
Do the right thing for yourself and your wife...take care of your marriage first before jumping into another relationship; you will only find something wrong with that as well...So, please STOP and check what exactly is happening...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ashwini Dasgupta |70 Answers |Ask -Follow

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi

Hello madam I am a merchant Navy guy, means six months working on ship in a year, I have just got married, I wanted to live in India, but not able to decide which place is good for living, as I wanted to provide the best education, and opportunities for my future children Thank you

Ans: Dear Sir/ Madam,

Few considerations for your reference
You could look at metro cities depending on what kind of standard of living you may be comfortable with
Choose the city considering the education you may consider
Look for cities which have International schools for example- IB or CIE. International schools often provide a seamless transition for children moving between countries.
Choose cities basis the accessibilities like airports etc and family friendly environment you can have
Consider climate lifestyle
Future career opportunity if you wish to change
Check the pros and cons and unique priorities you and your family may have

Hope this helps

All the best

Thanks and Regards
To your success. Be you. Be confident
Ashwini Dasgupta
Author of Confidence Decoded-Is it a skill or attitude?
www.ashwinidasgupta.com

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