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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
TK Question by TK on Apr 27, 2022Hindi
Relationship

Hello Anu ma’am,

I’m 30 years old female, working at an IT firm. I have been married for a year now. The marriage with my husband was arranged by our family members. I met him 2 months before we got married. We talked more during that period and the conversations were always pleasant and I felt care in them and finally made the decision that he is my match. Once we got married, things were good-to-okay in the first few months. I used to live with my in-laws and slowly noticed that he is moving away little by little. My connection with him started to feel weak. He and his mother would stop talking when I entered the room. I had to help more with house chores.
I tried quite a lot to keep up with in-laws, husband, and work but soon sensed that mother in law and son have teamed up against me and everything I did was never satisfactory.
The first thing that came up to my mind was to move out of the house with my husband and to start our relationship afresh. He didn’t like the idea and for my work reasons, I moved out and to the city where I work (which is a 3-hour drive from where he lives). This made the connection even worse. I used to go see him once or twice in a month but the relationship felt strained so I moved back within 3 months. Around this time he downloaded some dating apps on his mobile. When I asked him about it he said he downloaded out of curiosity and didn’t use it, but I can feel the change in him. Within 2 months I started to realise he’s being secretive with his phone or iPad and is spending a lot of time with them either texting or calls. I also noticed that he is talking to someone during the night while he is sleeping next to me. I felt betrayed and shattered to my core.
All the things I learnt for him, all the things that I have done for him and his family, all the time and energy I have spent felt useless. When I confronted him he never accepted it and says it’s all in my head. I gave him some time leaving it aside thinking he would bounce back once he is done with it. So I asked him to move in with me so we could bond and spend time alone.
We moved in together finally but things didn’t go as I expected. When I leave for work he would either go meet the woman or worse bring her home. He continued it and I ran out of patience. I talked about it with my family and his. My family supports my decision with whatever I would want to do and his family would back him up saying that they have brought their son up my utmost values and he wouldn’t do such a thing. So finally they have sent us back to our homes hoping things will be fine. He still talks to the woman every night and God knows how many times I cannot make it out in the day time.
I’m sorry it’s a long read for you but I wasn’t sure what to express and what not to, for you to help me with a suggestion.
I have tried to catch his act using technology but he is too clever to be caught. Trust me, I’m a tech lead at an IT firm and I have tried a lot of methods to catch him but all of them are valid-invalid proofs and he is quite a story teller to make them all look null.
I feel nothing inside most of the times and simply want to come out of this but not without showing his true form. For once, I want to win. Win huge this way.
If you can help me out I will be grateful for that. Please keep me anonymous if you could.
Thanks a lot for reading this.

Ans:

Dear TK,

Thank you for sharing so clearly; it certainly helps me guide in the best possible manner.

If you feel that he is infidel, the there is no necessity to go around looking for proof.

What will proving that give you?

Even if you showed it all to his parents what is the guarantee that they will not turn it around and blame you for it?

That you should not have moved out and that’s why he needed the comfort of other women.

Quit focusing on proving his infidelity and focus on more what you want at this point in time.

Do you want to continue in this marriage?

If NO, exit in the most graceful manner because the stress from all the pulling down or Win that you are looking for is strenuous and of no use. It will only appease your EGO which anyway is short-lived.

But of course, if you are in the process of negotiating terms during divorce proceedings; this proof maybe valuable to have a better WIN. I hope I have succeeded in differentiating both types of WINs so you get a clearer picture.

Now coming to how you must deal with your mind space is as simple as listing down what is important to you.

Is it dwelling on what he does or emphasizing more on what you can do?

When it’s the latter, you will think and act in a manner that looks out for you and how you can keep yourself in an optimum mind space.

So, start focusing on what makes you happy and stick to that.

When you are ready to move on, make it graceful and if there seems to be a problem with negotiation, the proof that you have collected with a sane sense of mind will come in handy.

I assume that there are no children involved but if there are, take into consideration how they will cope with any decision of yours.

Bottom Line: Learn to live your life and focus on what’s important. I am confident that you can do this NOW.

All the best for a beautiful mind space!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu, 10+yrs of marriage with 9yr child. I am working and all financial burden is on me. I shifted separately from in-laws' house due to financial constraints and expectations. Though elder-in-law, my in-laws didn't try to stop our decision to move separately despite knowing that my hubby doesn't earn a single penny. They expected and I had to share financial expenses with my marginal income 10 years ago. After 5 years, we moved nearby and purchased our own house very little help from in-laws. I took loan and managed the rest with help from my family and friends. In between a lot happened. My father-in-law expired and my mother-in-law is a cancer patient. My mother-in-law started expecting from my hubby and me, probably because her younger son shifted with her family. She didn't want to live with them due to differences with her wife. She complained to my husband that we are not good enough to take care of her. I already had a lot of burden from office so I told my husband to take care of our child as well for sometime. He was quite depressed and frustrated with his inability to earn. Already lot of my hard-earned money has been put in his work n wasted.Now, the real problem during these difficult times began when we started fighting. I had lot of office stress and after mother in law complained, she shifted with her other son. At times, I got frustrated with my child also due to the whole mess, financial burden. I felt like all my hard earned money was wasted due to office stress and my hubby's irresponsible behaviour. He did not even take care of my child’s studies. He started watching porn... I saw him twice and even warned him. My husband started cheating on me with our maid. He did it when he was stressed because I was not able to give him time. I confronted him and since then it has been an emotional trauma. I am yet to accept it. 9 months have been passed. We decided on certain things but I couldn’t accept it.. Due to our emotional bond, I gave him another chance... During that time he accepted and was ready to leave everything and wanted me to be happy. He said he committed a big mistake but recently I found he called that b**ch later. When I confronted him he said he’d advised not to come home in front of his family members. I decided it would be best for him to move out and work from another place. My MIL was living with me but then I felt it too much at times.. now somewhat even my child has emotionally detached from him. It’s the same with him as we've been staying separately from 7 months. He visited 3 times during puja and other needs. I feel emotionally detached and I can’t digest the family situation.Sometimes I feel it's difficult to find the courage to avoid all and live alone. What's the point in living in a marriage for sake of it without having any emotional, physical, financial dependency or security?I am 39 and earn a decent salary at this moment. But I am not sure of my future as I work in a private firm. I am worried about my child’s education, old age, financial insecurity and burden. I haven’t been able to save much because of our financial liabilities and husband’s investments in businesses that never materialised.Before this incident, my husband supported me in my career and also to bring up our child. But what happened is too much and unexpected. Any suggestions?

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu, Nice to contact you. I came across many of your conversations online and I would like to share my life situation. If you could help in any way it would be a great support. I am married since 4 and half years now but we have stayed together only for 1 and half years. Rest of it was purely long-distance relationship. It was an arranged marriage and I entered it with great hope and dreams. I still believe I have had only bare minimum expectations from my partner as that of any young woman. After the marriage got fixed I had to leave my job and stay at my hometown. He works in a distant state. We were all hoping that after marriage, I’d go and live with him so will search for a job later. Even during prewedding discussions the talk was that he will shift to a new home before marriage and after marriage he will take me along with him. But two weeks after our wedding he left to work leaving me at his home with his parents in our hometown. He didn’t explain or give any reasons. It broke me. Those 2 weeks were wonderful and the best time of our marriage life. He came after 2 months, rented a new house and took me with him. It was good although small and silly arguments would happen. He loved me and I stayed there for a month. We returned to hometown after a month. He left me there and returned to work in 1 week’s time. I stayed with his parents (in between his mother met with an accident and I stayed with her for like 2 months). He took me back to his place for 3 months. When financial circumstances got bad, he changed. He stopped expressing love in any form other than getting me variety of food items. There was no romance, small talks or travelling outside. He sent me back to my parents’ place for 7 months. It made me really mad and we started to fight over the phone making us more distant. He was facing financial crisis, I wanted to be supportive but he never shared his feelings or plans with me. I never felt involved. Without a job I went into depression. To sort things, I stayed with him for 9 months looking for a job. He never showed any interest. I stayed at home for all those months feeling depressive and insecure. There was no romance, emotional or physical.He is perfect in his words and promises but never in his actions. I believed and waited for 3 years. Then my in laws suggested a job but it was at my native place. As it suited my educational qualifications I showed interest and he said okay. I applied and got the job. Since then I have not visited him at his work place. It’s been 2 years now and I stay with his parents. Due to covid he didn’t come for home for a 1 and half. A few months ago he came and stayed for a week. When people see us it’s 4 and 1/2 years of marriage but for us it’s not. Since we don’t have kids people are suspecting a lot. I don’t blame them.Clearly not everything is alright.My husband is a lovely person and he cares so much but I feel he is controlling me. May be because of his lack of emotional availability. But many things have bothered me a lot since our wedding.My husband and I have never visited or travelled a place alone, ever. We never had a honeymoon.My husband has never introduced me to any of his friends.I know nothing of him through a third person, all I know is what he has told me.These days he hardly calls me. I tend to get more frustrated and cry sometimes by sharing my feelings with him if he called very late at night. So he stopped calling me. When I asked he replied “when I call at night you are complaining, fighting and crying so I don’t call” He is running away from situations. I replied to him “you know that I will cry and there is a reason for that. Instead to solving the situation and not to make me cry, you would rather prefer not to call”. He said “Yes”. So he refrains from anything that upsets him. Long time ago due to some misunderstandings I refused to be physically romantic with him and he did the same to me for months and years which is also why we don’t have kids. But I cant explain or share this with anyone. I doubt about my future as I am scared that I will never be blessed with a life with shared love and romance.I miss myself being in love and happy.I miss my own very smile.I don’t put all the blame on him because I know am not perfect. But am not that evil to be punished like this in my life. I do deserve some happiness. He hasn’t abused me but absence of abuse doesn’t mean a healthy relationship. I have always felt lonely. Rather than love I have felt more judged for my actions and thoughts.There is not a single day in life where I do not think about leaving this relationship but it has become very difficult to picture a happy healthy future with him.It has become hard to have a simple conversation with him now.I hope for a healthy relationship in which my partner and I could be vulnerable to one and other.Am I expecting too much from him? Is it that am not good enough for him?Will this too pass? I am worried.I would like to stay anonymous.
Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

These are your words that stood out for me.

‘I miss myself being in love and happy.

'I miss my own very smile.'

So, who is stopping you from these? Be in love, be happy, smile when you want.

You have tied these things to your marriage and have hoped that putting things together will bring a smile back on your face. As much as it’s true, it won’t be long lasting.

Now let’s focus on your marriage. What is this ‘being sent here, sent back there’?

What are you, some parcel/courier package to be sent here and there at will?

The first time that you felt that this being sent here and there was NOT OKAY, that would have been the time to voice it out.

Situations of a husband and wife being physically apart can come in anytime during a marriage. But this has to be handled with a lot of love and communication and not keeping silent and controlling it his way.

What has caused your hurt is the fact of non-communication from him, inability to validate your feelings, making you feel guilty for expressing your feelings and his unwillingness to work on this?

Request a person known to both of you to mediate to set up a meeting if both of you want to be in this marriage and live in peace and harmony. If you don’t step up now, things will be emotionally draining.

Also, as a woman, you don’t have to feel guilty for saying that something is not alright and that you want things to be different. You do not have to mask it with a statement that ‘he is a good man’ etc.

Be honest to yourself about what you feel and what you want. It helps putting things into perspective faster. STEP UP NOW and SPEAK.

Do that favour onto yourself please and also expect things to go the other way especially if he does not want to mutually set things right.

No matter what, know that strength from within is what will help you sort things for the better.

Be strong and value yourself. All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

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Relationship
Hello, I am 41 year old professional. I had met my husband before marriage though social media 5 years back and thereafter maintaining distance relationship and meeting occasionally for 3 years we got married in 2021. It was a struggle for marriage as it was inter caste and inter religious marriage. Everything was smooth in relationship to the fact that I’m responsible for all financial matters as my husband has no job. He is still trying and looking for job. I didn’t mind much but would encourage him to get the job to be mentally and physically fit. Last year we went to his nephews marriage to his village. It was of 7 day programme. On second day I noticed him watching another women ( nephews mother’s sister who has 2 daughters) At that time I didn’t pay attention. After 2 days on a night function I saw my husband texting from far but he looked at that lady again. She also seemed to texting. I became suspicious. Later that night when he came to room I asked to show him his phone he was reluctant. I had to snatch his phone and I saw that he was texting the same lady and in that had asked her to meet her alone. and asking her where he can meet her. I gnashed cried and made a huge scene coz this was not what I had expected. He tried to convince that she was his girlfriend of past and suddenly after seeing her after sometime he only wanted to talk to her. I only asked her ... why alone? He had told me during dating that she had a girlfriend ( never told her identity) and that she has married and moved on. Feeling cheated I could not sleep but only cried that night and in the morning if we can return to our city. Programme had not finished but he agreed and we left. Since then that night and those days still haunt me ; thinking what didn’t I do to love him so much and in return we get cheated. I’m still with him, but mentally I still feel cheated and still am in doubt that he is in touch with her. I am not able to do my duties as part of my mind thinks he cheats me though I have confronted many times on this and he denies that he is not in touch with her Should I leave him or continue with this marriage? We still don’t have any baby.
Ans: Dear Vandana,
Clearly you are more into him than he is into you. Baby or no baby, he seems like someone who isn't going to be steady...what was the need to hide and plan a meeting and if the other lady has moved on, what is doing hanging around her?
And with no financial assurance and stability, he is only tuning his energies to external validation to 'up' his elf esteem...

Isn't it time you actually called him out for his wayward nature and his absolute reluctance to take on some responsibility in the marriage and home? The more you are quiet, the more he is going to feel that you are supporting this nonsense...call it out and NOW! And as for your state of mind, do know that you have it in you to hold your own...don't base you peace of mind on anything outside of you...

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |260 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

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Relationship
Hello, I am 41 year old professional. I had met my husband before marriage though social media 5 years back and thereafter maintaining distance relationship and meeting occasionally for 3 years we got married in 2021. It was a struggle for marriage as it was inter caste and inter religious marriage. Everything was smooth in relationship to the fact that I’m responsible for all financial matters as my husband has no job. He is still trying and looking for job. I didn’t mind much but would encourage him to get the job to be mentally and physically fit. Last year we went to his nephews marriage to his village. It was of 7 day programme. On second day I noticed him watching another women ( nephews mother’s sister who has 2 daughters) At that time I didn’t pay attention. After 2 days on a night function I saw my husband texting from far but he looked at that lady again. She also seemed to texting. I became suspicious. Later that night when he came to room I asked to show him his phone he was reluctant. I had to snatch his phone and I saw that he was texting the same lady and in that had asked her to meet her alone. and asking her where he can meet her. I gnashed cried and made a huge scene coz this was not what I had expected. He tried to convince that she was his girlfriend of past and suddenly after seeing her after sometime he only wanted to talk to her. I only asked her ... why alone? He had told me during dating that she had a girlfriend ( never told her identity) and that she has married and moved on. Feeling cheated I could not sleep but only cried that night and in the morning if we can return to our city. Programme had not finished but he agreed and we left. Since then that night and those days still haunt me ; thinking what didn’t I do to love him so much and in return we get cheated. I’m still with him, but mentally I still feel cheated and still am in doubt that he is in touch with her. I am not able to do my duties as part of my mind thinks he cheats me though I have confronted many times on this and he denies that he is not in touch with her Should I leave him or continue with this marriage? We still don’t have any baby.
Ans: Dear Vandana

I understand how heartbreaking it can be to find out your spouse is cheating. I would only tell you one thing- if the thought of leaving him has crossed your mind even once, it is worth sitting down and introspecting. If you happen to come to an understanding that separation would be what's best for you, have an open and clear discussion with your spouse. If he agrees to change his ways, you can give it another shot. But that's completely up to you. No one can force you to give him a second chance. As you said, you don't still have a child and it is best to come to a decision before there is a child in the equation. If your husband does not care about it and sticks to his behavior, there will remain not a shred of doubt that separation is the right choice. But before all of that, take a beat and think. Not from a place of anger and grudge. Calm yourself and think if you are reading too much into the situation or if is it actually as bad as it looks. It will be tough, but it is important because the rest of your life depends on it.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir/Madam I'm going through a rough time of my life and want some help from you I am a professional and 48 years old and I have 2 grown up children My problem is that I had a love marriage with my husband22 years back and his family didn't accept me whole heartidly since we belong to different castes and culture .they wanted to take advantage of me financially My husband has strained his relationship with my mom n only sister after my father's death in 2008 over money matters Me, my husband and children live in a house provided by my parents in a different city from my inlaws They always create differences between us still Now another problem has cropped up in our relationship I spied on my my husband's mobile n discovered tha that he has sex chats with other women and is involved in mastrubating sessions with them over phone I am completely broken from inside n not able to decide what to do coz when i confronted him , he flatly refused n fought with me and started putting false allegations on me .I am quite disturbed as i dont want to end my marriage eventhough he behaves very bad with me at times Kindly advice me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since you know that you want this marriage still, then the best way to not be hurt and strained around him, is to:
Either:
- Ignore what's happening and what he's doing and he leads his life and you lead yours (This is not easy, let me warn you!)
OR
- Live separately; you are financially independent and have your home to live in; he can go live with his parents and see if this works

Sadly, you married someone who has not learned to appreciate his partner and is perhaps playing to his own insecurities. It's totally on him and why I say that you are not to blame is: the fact that you still want to continue in this marriage, you may have to face more of this humiliation and hurt. If this is your decision, you really need a very steely interior and a facade that can face it all.
Yes, counseling is an option for him and the two of you as couple, BUT I don't see that in him as yet...Instead of addressing his wife's hurt and pain, he has refused to acknowledge what he's been up to. It doesn't say a lot about him to me.
So, strengthen yourself into your decision and check the two choices above and see what works best for you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5300 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir I want to SIP of 40k per month and want to make a corpus of 1cr in coming 8 years kindly suggest
Ans: Evaluating Your Goal
You aim to create a Rs. 1 crore corpus in 8 years. Investing Rs. 40,000 per month via SIPs is a solid strategy. Let’s break it down.

Benefits of Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Disciplined Investing: Helps you invest regularly.
Rupee Cost Averaging: Reduces the impact of market volatility.
Compounding: Small amounts grow significantly over time.
Expected Returns
Assuming an average annual return of 12%, your monthly SIP of Rs. 40,000 can potentially help you reach Rs. 1 crore in 8 years.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Growth Potential: Only matches market returns.
No Active Management: Lacks strategic adjustments.
Lower Flexibility: Cannot react to market changes.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Expert Management: Professionals manage your investments.
Higher Returns Potential: Aims to outperform the market.
Strategic Adjustments: Reacts to market conditions.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
No Professional Guidance: You miss expert advice.
Higher Risk: Due to lack of professional management.
Complexity: Requires deep knowledge and time.
Benefits of Investing Through MFD with CFP
Expert Advice: Helps in making informed decisions.
Regular Monitoring: Keeps your investments on track.
Customized Portfolio: Tailored to your goals and risk profile.
Investment Strategy
Step 1: Diversify Investments
Equity Funds: High growth potential.
Debt Funds: Stability and lower risk.
Hybrid Funds: Balanced approach.
Step 2: Regular Monitoring
Review Quarterly: Adjust based on performance.
Rebalance Annually: Maintain your risk-return balance.
Step 3: Increase SIP Amount Annually
Inflation Adjustment: Increase SIP by 5-10% annually.
Step 4: Stay Committed
Market Fluctuations: Stay invested despite market ups and downs.
Long-Term Focus: Keep your eyes on the 8-year goal.
Importance of Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you:

Set Realistic Goals: Based on your financial situation.
Create a Plan: Customized to your needs.
Monitor Progress: Ensure you stay on track.
Additional Considerations
Emergency Fund: Keep 6 months of expenses aside.
Insurance: Adequate health and life insurance coverage.
Tax Planning: Use tax-efficient investment options.
Final Insights
To achieve your Rs. 1 crore goal in 8 years:

Invest Rs. 40,000 monthly via SIPs.
Focus on equity funds for growth.
Seek professional advice for customized planning.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Samkit

Samkit Maniar  |148 Answers  |Ask -

Tax Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Money
Hi Samkit, I'm a retired person, 66 years old. Before retirement, I had invested Rs.93.5 lakhs in a commercial real estate in Navi Mumbi in Feb.2017 and registered the property jointly with my wife on 50/50 basis. The value of the property as determined by stamp duty registrar at that time was Rs.73.41 lakhs. The expenses on stamp duty, registration and brokerage was Rs.7.53 lakhs and improvement expenditure of Rs.4 lakhs. So total cost of purchase worked out to Rs.1.09 crores. I sold this property in Feb.2024, exactly after 7 years, for Rs.1.1 crore. Market value (for stamp duty purpose) on this date was Rs.89.89 lakhs. While filing my ITR2 in AY 2024-25, I had split all the above values by 2 and 50% was shown in my ITR2 and the remaining 50% was shown in my wife's ITR2 under CG for showing the capital gain. The system has calculated and shown the capital gain as minus Rs.31.24, i.e. Rs.-15.62 in each of our ITR2. The system has also automatically adjusted my LTCG arising out of other share transactions during the FY. The system allows the remaining loss to be carried forward to next year under CFL. My questions are: (1) Can we both go ahead and finalise & submit the ITR2 as shown above? (2) Can we use the losses carried forward during the next AY to set off our incomes arising out of share market transactions? Thank you so much in advance for your valuable time and advice.
Ans: Yes, seems correct treatment done. You can go ahead with submitting your returns respectively.

Please note that Long term losses can only be set off against long term gains, if that's the case then you can.

Please consult your CA before moving ahead.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5300 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
I'm a 20 year old student. I want a corpus of 15 crores in the next 15 to 20 years. How much daily SIP should I do? And which type of mutual fund should I invest it.
Ans: Creating a corpus of Rs. 15 crores in 15 to 20 years is a significant goal. You will need a structured investment strategy and disciplined approach to achieve it.

Benefits of Early Investment

Starting investments at 20 gives you a huge advantage. Time is on your side, allowing your investments to compound and grow significantly.

Daily SIP for Consistency

A daily SIP ensures regular investment without burdening you with a large lump sum. It helps inculcate discipline and takes advantage of market fluctuations.

Types of Mutual Funds

Given your long-term horizon, equity mutual funds are ideal. They offer higher returns compared to other types, albeit with higher risk.

Recommended Mutual Funds

Large-Cap Funds

These invest in large, established companies.
They offer relatively stable returns.
Mid-Cap Funds

These invest in mid-sized companies.
They provide a balance between risk and return.
Small-Cap Funds

These invest in small companies with high growth potential.
They come with higher risk but can offer substantial returns.
Flexi-Cap Funds

These funds invest across market capitalizations.
They offer diversification and flexibility.
Sectoral/Thematic Funds

These invest in specific sectors.
Higher risk but can provide significant returns if the sector performs well.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Investing in direct funds requires a deep understanding of the market. Without expert guidance, it can be challenging to manage. It's beneficial to invest through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential. They offer professional advice, regular portfolio reviews, and help in achieving your goals efficiently.

Calculating Daily SIP

To estimate the daily SIP amount:

The total corpus required: Rs. 15 crores
Investment horizon: 15 to 20 years
Let's assume an average return of 12% per annum from equity mutual funds. For accurate daily SIP calculation, consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner.

Diversification

Diversifying your investments reduces risk. Allocate your SIP across different fund types to balance risk and returns. For example:

Large-Cap: 30%
Mid-Cap: 30%
Small-Cap: 20%
Flexi-Cap: 20%
Regular Monitoring and Adjustment

Regularly review your portfolio. Market conditions and your financial situation may change. Adjust your investments accordingly.

Building Financial Discipline

Consistent investing and financial discipline are crucial. Avoid unnecessary expenses and focus on your long-term goals.

Importance of Professional Guidance

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice and help you navigate market complexities. They ensure your investment strategy aligns with your financial goals.

Final Insights

Achieving a corpus of Rs. 15 crores in 15 to 20 years is ambitious but attainable. Start with a daily SIP in diversified mutual funds. Regularly review and adjust your investments. Professional guidance can greatly enhance your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5300 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear Sir We had booked a flat in one of the projects in Karnataka ( 15 + years back) but when the project is about to complete the land owner of that apartment filed the case against the builder because the builder had constructed few flats illegally in that project.. The land owner had demanded few crores from the builder for illegally constructing the flat...During that time we were in abroad and 3 flats werent registered in this project one is ours and 2 more flat owners were in abroad too..Thats out of 35 flats... Hence the builder had registered three flats in their name for the safety..But till now we havent got registered of that flat in our name becos there is case in the court. Hence there is no completion certificate issued for that project..etc.... and no flat owner can sell their flat due to the court case. However the builder had given us a power of attorney for the flat for rent it out or stay... And we have rented the flat and are getting the rent... we have been regularly followed up with the builder, he everytime promises today tomorrow....like this 15+ years passed...last year we asked for a replacement flat in one of their new project and he agreed to give us a replacement flat provided we pay some extra bucks as per the rate...We agreed for that and got the agreement signed and also got the sale deed of the land etc.. we have paid the payment in cheques.Its a huge project and completion of the project is bit slow and got delayed.... Recently, the builder had sent an email to all flat owners to register their flats but when we consulted for registration the builder said he had to transfer the payment done by us from the previous project to this new project...hence it would take time (by the way thats their internal issue) everytime we consulted for registration he says it would take one months time and his legal team is working on it...Sometime he says the court case should get over of the other project and then only he can help to register the the present flat..(though the previous flat is in their name itself) we have nothing to do with case (as the Case is between land owner and builder) also the previous flat registration al in their name..we have only agreement and receipts.of payment done...hence so far the flat is not registered...most of the flats got registered in the new project...The project is not completed yet it would take one more year... My question is why the builder is delaying the registration process of our flat and why is he not doing the internal issues solved and help us to register our flat in our name... Should we register the flat ourselves provided we get required documents from the builder? Or consult a lawyer in this regard...Pls guide...
Ans: You booked a flat 15+ years ago in Karnataka. The project faced legal issues due to illegal construction. You haven’t been able to register the flat in your name.

Builder’s Delay
The builder registered three flats, including yours, in their name. You have a power of attorney to rent it out. The builder promised a replacement flat in a new project, but the registration is still delayed.

Key Questions
Why is the builder delaying registration?
Should you register the flat yourself?
Should you consult a lawyer?
Builder's Delay Analysis
Internal Issues
Fund Transfer: The builder needs to transfer payments from the previous project to the new one. This seems to be causing delays.

Legal Complications: The builder indicates that the ongoing court case may affect the registration process. However, you have no involvement in this case.

Project Completion
Project Delay: The new project is not yet complete. This might also contribute to the registration delay.
Recommendations
Consult a Lawyer
Legal Advice: Consult a lawyer to understand your legal standing and options.

Documentation: Ensure all your documents are in order. The lawyer can help review and prepare necessary paperwork.

Registration Process
Self-Registration: With the required documents from the builder, you might register the flat yourself. This requires legal guidance.

Follow-Up: Continue to follow up with the builder regularly. Ensure all communication is documented.

Legal Action
Notice to Builder: Your lawyer may suggest sending a legal notice to the builder for delaying registration.

Court Case: If the builder doesn’t cooperate, consider filing a case against them. This might expedite the process.

Insightful Evaluation
Assessing Risks
Builder's Reliability: Evaluate the builder’s past projects and their completion rates. This helps in assessing the likelihood of further delays.

Legal Risks: Understand the legal risks associated with the ongoing court case. Your lawyer can provide a detailed assessment.

Future Steps
Replacement Flat: If the builder provides a replacement flat, ensure all legal aspects are clear before agreeing.

Backup Plan: Have a backup plan in case the registration process faces more delays. This might include exploring other housing options.

Communication
Transparent Dialogue: Maintain open and transparent communication with the builder. Document all discussions and agreements.

Legal Assistance: Have your lawyer involved in all major communications with the builder. This ensures legal backing.

Final Insights
Proactive Steps
Consulting a lawyer is crucial. They can guide you through the legal complexities and help expedite the registration process.

Keep all your documents organized. This will be helpful during any legal procedures.

Regularly follow up with the builder. Ensure you have written records of all communications.

Evaluate the reliability of the builder and the legal implications of the ongoing court case. This helps in making informed decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5300 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Money
Dear Sir/Madam, I hope this message finds you well. As the sole earning member of my family, I am 41 years old and responsible for supporting my family of five. Here are the details of my financial situation: Income and Expenses: Monthly salary income: ?1.10 lakhs. Monthly expenses: Rent (?35,000) and household expenses (?50,000). Insurance and Loans: ICICI Lombard term insurance: Coverage of ?50 lakhs with an annual premium of ?9,700. Mediclaim for my mother: Coverage of ?1 lakh with an annual premium of ?13,000. Family mediclaim: Coverage of ?2 lakhs with an annual premium of ?6,700. Loan from LIC: ?2 lakhs. Savings and Investments: PPF savings: ?80,000. Endowment policies with an annual premium of ?24,000. SIP investments in the following mutual funds: Aditya Birla Sun Life Pure Value Fund (G): ?1,000/month. Bandhan Sterling Value Fund - Regular Plan (G): ?1,000/month. DSP Flexi Cap Fund - Regular Plan (G): ?1,000/month. HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund (G): ?1,500/month. Considering this details do help me to design my portfolio for corpus of around 10crores in next 20 years.
Ans: Age: 41 years
Family: Five members
Monthly Salary: Rs 1.10 lakhs
Monthly Expenses: Rs 85,000 (Rent: Rs 35,000; Household expenses: Rs 50,000)
Insurance and Loans:
ICICI Lombard term insurance: Rs 50 lakhs (annual premium: Rs 9,700)
Mediclaim for mother: Rs 1 lakh (annual premium: Rs 13,000)
Family mediclaim: Rs 2 lakhs (annual premium: Rs 6,700)
Loan from LIC: Rs 2 lakhs
Savings and Investments:
PPF savings: Rs 80,000
Endowment policies: Annual premium Rs 24,000
SIP investments: Rs 4,500/month
Financial Planning Goals
Retirement Corpus: Rs 10 crores in 20 years
Insurance Coverage: Adequate protection for family
Debt Management: Efficiently manage and repay loans
Wealth Creation: Strategic investment for growth
Step-by-Step Financial Plan
1. Review and Enhance Insurance Coverage

Term Insurance: Ensure coverage is at least 10-15 times your annual income
Health Insurance: Increase coverage for family to Rs 5 lakhs
Mediclaim for Mother: Increase coverage to Rs 5 lakhs
2. Create an Emergency Fund

Amount: 6-12 months of expenses
Investment: High-interest savings account or short-term FDs
3. Debt Management

LIC Loan: Prioritize repaying the Rs 2 lakhs loan
Avoid New Loans: Focus on managing current debts
4. Increase SIP Investments

Existing SIPs

Aditya Birla Sun Life Pure Value Fund
Bandhan Sterling Value Fund
DSP Flexi Cap Fund
HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund
Strategy

Increase Contributions: Gradually increase SIP amount by 10% annually
Diversify: Add more funds for balanced growth and risk management
5. Public Provident Fund (PPF)

Contribution: Continue investing in PPF for tax benefits
Increase Investment: Aim to contribute the maximum limit of Rs 1.5 lakhs per year
6. Endowment Policies

Evaluate Performance: Assess the returns and benefits
Consider Alternatives: If underperforming, consult a Certified Financial Planner for better options
7. Additional Investment Options

Mutual Funds

Equity Funds: For long-term growth
Debt Funds: For stability and regular income
National Pension System (NPS)

Contribution: Invest in NPS for additional retirement corpus
Benefit: Tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD
8. Regular Monitoring and Review

Review Portfolio: Regularly review and adjust your investments
Rebalance: Ensure your portfolio aligns with your risk tolerance and goals
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Flexibility

Tracking: Index funds strictly follow market indices
Drawback: Lack of active management to adapt to market changes
Lower Returns

Potential: Actively managed funds can outperform index funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Lack of Guidance

Direct Funds: No professional advice
Benefit of Regular Funds: Access to Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice
Convenience

Ease: Investing through Certified Financial Planner offers better management and oversight
Final Insights
Start Early: The sooner you start, the better
Diversify: Spread investments across different asset classes
Consult a CFP: Professional advice ensures a comprehensive plan
Review Regularly: Adjust your plan as needed to stay on track
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5300 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Money
Sir, I have invested Rs. 200000/-in Nippon India Nifty I T Index fund in the month of Feb, 2024. Is it worth stay invested or switch over?
Ans: You invested Rs 2,00,000 in the Nippon India Nifty IT Index Fund in February 2024. Here’s a detailed evaluation.

Understanding Index Funds
1. Passive Investment:

Index funds replicate market indices.
They offer average market returns.
2. Low Management:

Lower expense ratios due to passive management.
Limited scope for beating the market.
3. Market Volatility:

Performance tied to the market index.
Susceptible to market downturns.
IT Sector Performance
1. Growth Potential:

IT sector shows strong growth.
High potential for long-term gains.
2. Volatility:

IT stocks can be volatile.
Sector-specific risks can impact returns.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
1. Higher Returns:

Actively managed funds aim to outperform indices.
Fund managers adjust based on market conditions.
2. Professional Management:

Expert fund managers make strategic decisions.
Better adaptability to market changes.
3. Diversification:

Actively managed funds can diversify across sectors.
Reduce risk by spreading investments.
Disadvantages of Index Funds
1. No Market Outperformance:

Index funds cannot beat the market.
Returns are limited to index performance.
2. Lack of Flexibility:

Fixed to the index composition.
Cannot adjust to market opportunities.
3. Sector Concentration:

Heavy exposure to one sector increases risk.
IT sector concentration may not be ideal for all investors.
Evaluation of Your Investment
1. Investment Horizon:

Your investment horizon is crucial.
Longer horizons can mitigate short-term volatility.
2. Risk Tolerance:

Assess your risk tolerance.
Higher risk tolerance suits IT sector investments.
3. Diversification Needs:

Diversify your portfolio to reduce risk.
Consider adding actively managed funds.
Recommendations
1. Stay or Switch:

If you have high risk tolerance and long horizon, stay invested.
For diversification and potential higher returns, switch to actively managed funds.
2. Regular Review:

Monitor your investment regularly.
Adjust based on market performance and personal goals.
3. Seek Professional Advice:

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).
Get personalized recommendations.
Final Insights
Your investment in Nippon India Nifty IT Index Fund has potential but consider diversifying. Actively managed funds can offer higher returns and better risk management. Regularly review and seek professional advice for optimal results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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