Hi I’m 24 years old and have been married for 3 years now.
My husband and I thought we had plenty of fights we did made it up and moving on as we love each other a lot.
But last year after we had our first child, (even before that) I could see that he has changed a lot.
Because of my delivery I came to my parents’ house in my 5th month and till today I’m still here .
In this new year I found out that he is talking to the same girl about whom we had a fight when I was 3 months pregnant.
He said 'Nothing is going on between us. Please trust me and all' because he claims her to be his friend.
This year around New Year when he visited me I got to see the same girl and him taking selfies standing close to each other. And in one pic he also kissed her on her cheeks.
My heart broke when I saw that pic.
When I confronted him he said that nothing wrong had happened, ‘we are just friends.’ He said ‘It will never happen again I swear on my child.’
But he never answered my question on why he had to take such a pic with her that day and that too it was pic taken after my delivery when he left home saying he had some important office work .
He loves me with his words. But I’m not able to make out in some situations if it’s true or not.
Nowadays he insists that I shouldn’t call him on purpose to ask idiotic questions about my lunch or my health and even to show our baby on call.
He said I should call only if there is something important. Even if he calls me, he says he wants to see the baby. He said he wanted some peace from me cause I am torturing him. He said this after we quarelled about that girl.
Please help me with what I should do further. I am not able to figure it out. Thanks in advance.

Ans: Your situation is indeed complex and emotionally taxing. It's important to approach this with both clarity and compassion for yourself and your daughters. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this:

Self-Reflection and Clarity
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize your feelings of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. These emotions are valid and need to be addressed.
Define Your Priorities: What are your primary concerns? Your children’s well-being, your financial independence, your personal peace, and safety are likely at the top of this list.
Evaluating Your Relationship
Assess Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any relationship. If these are missing, it is challenging to maintain a healthy partnership.
Past Behaviors as Indicators: Look at the past behavior of your husband. Consistent demands for money, lack of support, and absence during critical times can be telling signs of his priorities and commitment.
Support System
Lean on Your Parents: Having your parents’ support is a significant advantage. They can provide emotional, physical, and perhaps even financial support as you navigate this period.
Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or support groups for single mothers. These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice.
Societal Pressure
Redefine Norms: Society often has rigid expectations, but your well-being and that of your children come first. Living according to societal norms at the cost of your mental peace and safety is not sustainable.
Role Models: Look for examples of other women who have successfully managed similar situations. Their stories can offer inspiration and practical advice.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Know Your Rights: Even if you’re not in a position to take legal action now, it’s essential to be informed about your rights regarding child support and alimony.
Financial Independence: Continue to safeguard your financial independence. This will provide security and stability for you and your daughters.
Decision Making
Short-Term vs. Long-Term: Think about both immediate needs and long-term goals. What decision will bring peace and stability now, and what will be beneficial in the future?
Children’s Well-Being: Consider the environment your children will grow up in. A peaceful, loving environment, even if it’s without their father, might be more beneficial than a toxic, conflict-ridden one.
Practical Steps
Document Everything: Keep records of communications and financial transactions. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action in the future.
Plan for Independence: Create a plan for your independent living situation, including budgeting, childcare, and career progression.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to live independently with your daughters is a courageous and often necessary step for many women in similar situations. Trust in your strength and the support of your parents. It’s important to remember that living a life of peace and dignity, even if it means being a single parent, is a powerful and positive example for your children.

You are not alone in this journey. Seek the support you need, trust your instincts, and prioritize your and your children’s well-being above all.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is easy to feel a sense of connection with someone who shows you a little attention especially since you don't get any attention at home. But is this worth your time and energy? NO!
The other guy at the park is most likely just being a casual friendly stranger and you are taking a meaning out of it which will fill your vacuum at this moment. Trust me, you don't want to enter this unfamiliar territory which you will start getting used to and slowly outside attention is what you will begin to crave for at any cost.
No point messing up things further. See, if it's possible to rebuild your relationship with your husband. Initially, it may seem too much BUT hey, it takes two people to make a marriage...start first and see what happens even if your in-laws keep interfering, it's about being persistent...Make that attempt...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: In your heart, it’s clear that you love him deeply and that, ideally, you want to preserve your family and relationship. However, it’s important not to dismiss your own needs for validation, love, and respect. Sometimes, the process of forgiveness includes setting strong, clear boundaries. Your husband needs to understand that while you’re willing to work on the relationship, trust is fragile and requires commitment to restore. This might mean a commitment on his part to keep all communication with this colleague strictly professional and transparent, or even a decision to minimize interactions with her entirely if necessary. Expressing these boundaries clearly may help him see the gravity of what’s at stake.

It’s also valuable to remember that healing from betrayal is not a quick process. Even with reassurances and boundaries in place, your feelings of hurt, betrayal, and anger may surface unexpectedly. Be gentle with yourself in this process and consider turning inward to strengthen your own resilience. Financial independence is an incredible strength, and leaning into the aspects of your life that bring you personal fulfillment can be grounding. Investing in your own well-being will help you feel more centered, no matter where this journey takes you.

If, at any point, you feel that his actions aren’t aligning with his words and that trust cannot be rebuilt, remember that choosing a path that prioritizes your mental peace is not a failure. Some couples also find that a temporary separation helps provide clarity; this doesn’t have to mean ending the relationship but could be a chance to reset, reflect, and decide if you both are truly aligned in your vision for the future.

In the end, what matters most is that you feel respected, valued, and loved in a way that doesn’t compromise your self-worth. This situation is a challenging chapter, but with clarity, boundaries, and professional support, you can find a path that honors both your love for your husband and your own dignity.