Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello sir When i was studying in school i liked one girl. we talked through a common friend. After some time we talked on phone and messages. Last day of my school day i proposed her and she didn't reply. After that she doesn't even reply to my calls and messages. I found it in the market today, 9 years later. She is married now, after seeing her I feel regretful and am not able to concentrate on my work. what should i do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. One-sided love can be harsh on your mind. We can't exactly blame her here. She never led you on or expressed any such feelings for you. Neither was she bound to reciprocate. But keeping that aside, you are allowed to feel sad. Allow yourself to feel it. Trust me, it's nostalgia. It will pass. It is normal to be distracted when you are feeling gloomy. Try diverting your attention to something else. Talk to your friends, go out for a movie, go for a weekend trip, pick up a hobby, hit the gym, go for a run; mostly, keep yourself busy. You will not feel like this forever. I assure you that.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

Relationship
Hello Sir or Madam. Please keep me as anonymous only. Let me tell my story. I am 29 now. Work for an MNC for the past six years. From middle class family with big circle. Before going to speak out on my problem, let me tell my nature, how I was brought up, studies and attitude. Since we are middle class family with no financial crisis, I never seen ups and downs in Life accordingly. In the case of studies, I was topper at all levels of education till MBA from reputed institute. I was like love is trash n waste of time. When I used to hear all love stories, I used to feel pity on them. But I did maintain very good relationship with many, many girls (not GF type). But now I am going through the hell just because of one girl whom I was forcibly loved her and later I addicted to her with true love. During COVID I had to go WFH for two years. She visited her granny’s house and stayed back for few weeks. They live in Bangalore. I have never seen her face or noticed her during the time when she stayed. But she noticed, observed and enquired about me. So once she left to Bangalore, she sent FB request and I accepted. Immediately we have exchanged numbers and started texting ‘n’ talking. Initially I rejected her since she is eight years junior to me. Later she emotionally told once as she lost her father very recently and she just don’t want to go into depression again if I reject her. I got convinced and started loving truly. I replaced her father in her life which she used to tell. One day, she got caught by her brother while she was on call with me. Since we belong to different castes, they rejected me. She got house arrested. There was no connection between us. First time in life I fell into depression. I lost my job after just three weeks when she got separated from me. I was unable to speak anyone in the world. My family ‘n’ circle was afraid as I may do harm to myself for her. On December 16, 2021, I tried to commit suicide by writing a letter in laptop to her telling how I was missing her ‘n’ needed her. Took print and left to railway track to die. I took alcohol and was on the track. Someone rescued me and took me to hometown from Bangalore with PAN card address which was in my purse. Every day I was losing hope on my life. Finally I got call from her number in the first week of Jan. I was happy and cried like anything with her on call. She told that she would never leave me alone whatever happens ‘n’ who ever tries to separate us. Again, I took my energy ‘n’ hopes back and started job searching. There was 1 month gap again until Feb 8, 2022. After that she used to call me whenever it is possible. From March 15 to March 31, she kept fighting with me over call and spoken mercilessly. There was no kindness or love or concern on me. Again, I lost hope on my life. She kept asking me to stay away from her. She knew that I cannot initiate contact from my end, since she only should do whenever she able to do. Day by day, I am losing interest on my Life. I left the job. Now I’m alone with her thoughts and words spoken by her. My family n circle knew all this drama what’s going on. They hate me for losing self-respect for a girl. But I have never seen that girl as a girl. I am addicted to alcohol, day ‘n’ night drinking and surviving. I knew she won’t come back if I ruin my life like this by drinking ‘n’ all. But I just can’t control myself over her. The promises which she made me were gone... But still I stand for her, for what I promised. I begged the girl like anything not to leave me alone. I just can’t digest that she won’t be no more for me. N number of the times I used to tell her that You are my first priority over all in my life, like family, siblings, money, career and what not. Most of the times I told her that I’ll commit suicide for you if I come to know that you are not there for me. It doesn’t mean that I am an emotional fool who does not know how to live or unable to get another girl. But you have such significance in my life. I elaborated as much as I can. But she never listened me. I am just wonder where was her sweet words ‘n’ promises, what’s the reality now? I am upset with me -- where was original me and who I am now without self-respect. My parents ‘n’ siblings are forcing me to give up on her. As per them, she is just a golddigger and cheater without love and trust... My mind n heart never ever forgets her. Don’t know the future. But many times I pray God to kill me in sleep itself without pain so I can reach Venkateshwara... Entire world is against that girl, but I am defending her at every passing moment. Human beings invented many amazing things. My wish is we should be available with tablets or injection which can erase memories which belongs to particular person or for particular time in life... The real enemy to the human beings is LOVE.... Finally I am just waiting for my death... I knew that she won’t realise even if I die also. But I should sleep forever and ever just because for the crime I did love her.... Dear Bujji, it’s for you. I am also a human being as like U. As like your mother, even my mother has given birth to me. Finally, no words.... I am alone... Memories are hunting me.... chasing me... Love Guru, please publish this story as it is. Because someone may going through hell with similar story at least they will read the Q&A as well. Love Guru... I hate me... I do have all with me -- good health, 21 LPA job now, stabilised family and friends ‘n’ family circle... But this bloody struggling to get her love amongst the 7 billion people on this Earth... Love Guru, I feel that I lost. I am feeling low... I got cheated by her... Finally I am nothing to her. Dear readers, don’t think that why this fool is suffering for a girl like this.... I have seen her my GODDESS... Thank you... Have a nice day…
Ans:

You’ve needlessly wound yourself up over a silly girl.

You don’t even sound like you’ve had a physical relationship, it was only long distance, so what are you getting so out of joint for? A few intimate conversations with someone who said one thing but meant another?

If things in your life are spiralling so much out of control, I’d suggest therapy.

Stop drinking before it becomes a real problem. It sounds like you’re doing this to yourself deliberately, so that you receive some attention from her.

But the more you do this, the worse the situation will get. And no woman wants an out-of-control, desperate, alcoholic lover!

For heavens’ sake, man, get a hold of yourself and, if you can’t, then get the professional help you need. 

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 16, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
hi gure. i am unmarried fall for one girl through online marriage app and we are planning for marriage. few days back we got engaged as well.but after that i am in think that she is avoiding me. she go to sleep early even we were not in talk that much. i always in overthinking that she may have affair or she may ditch me. i cant control my emotion for her. if i cant get her call i called her madly. its make me so depress, nervous. i can not concentrate on work , other imp things. what should i do to get out of this help me ? help me get out of this sir
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

While overthinking can destroy a relationship, if you feel in your gut that something isn't right, there might be some truth and reason to it. My advice would be to have an open discussion about the same with your girlfriend.

We often see people making commitments but backing out later owing to several issues; it can be family-related or something else completely. It is better to speak about your worries right now than to get married and regret it. Maybe your partner is no longer interested in you or maybe she is facing some other trouble altogether; the only way you can understand what's happening is if you ask.

Don't beat around the bush or lose sleep over assumptions; sit your girlfriend down and ask her what's the matter. If she is no longer in love with you, you should consider yourself lucky to have learned it now rather than later, when things are more official and there are no breakups, only divorces. You deserve to be peacefully in love, not worrying about losing it every waking minute.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2023

Listen
Relationship
I started a relationship with a girl. First we thought it just a relationship no marriage. But as days going we fell deep into each other that we cant live without each other. I found one thing that she loving more than needed. Im so scared of her, what will she do if i run out of her life for my marriage. This thought killed me. So I decided to leave her without telling a reason. I left her with a small issue. I really dont want to loose but i had to. I just said good bye, she also said good bye. Later i never texted her. She too never texted me. But after 2 months i felt guilty of leaving so i came back to her. Previously her parents decided to marry her to their son in law. I know this when were in relationship. So after our breakup i came back to her. But she said no to me because she is committed with her brother in law. I cant take this. Its killing me. After i said good bye she never tried to contact me for patch-up. Even no texts. Her brother in law told her that im ready to marry you. So she too said i too like you and im also ready to marry you. But their marriage will happen in 2026. I told her that untill marriage please be with me and this is our deal when we started our relationship. But she said no. I begged her many times but she always said no to me. And still now i cant believe that she said no to me. All this happened 3 months ago but still i cant forget her. Recently she deleted my number also. Everything making me feel low. What should i do now?
Ans: Dear Srikanth,

To me, it sounds like you broke up with her. No, you ghosted her. How you put her on trial isn't clear to me, given the fact that you stopped contacting her after a mere goodbye and no proper explanation. Why did she not try to contact you? Maybe she has enough self-respect to restrain herself from doing so; I cannot speak for her but judging the events, you were the one who broke up and you need to own up to it.

Moving on to her deciding to get married- I am assuming she told you she's happy to marry her intended; if so, please accept the reality and move on. Next, why is she not agreeing to be in a relationship with you till the time she gets married? To expect otherwise from any sane, self-respecting person is delusional.

You knew that the two of you could not end up together and took a decision; immature as it was, your intentions were good. Similarly, your ex chose to move on. I don't see either of you making any considerable mistakes here. Both were right in their ways, except for the "you leaving her without a word" part. It is time you move on, and let her live her life in peace. You might feel low for a while, but nothing feels worse than hurting the people you once loved, and compelling your ex to commit to you when she doesn't want to is the same as hurting her. Make the right choices.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1372 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Sir,Iam retiring this month I want to invest one core, so that I can getdecent return and also consider inflation.
Ans: As you prepare for retirement, it's crucial to invest your corpus wisely to ensure a steady income and protect against inflation. Here are some considerations and recommendations:

Risk Profile: Assess your risk tolerance and investment objectives. Since you're retiring, you may prefer a more conservative approach with lower-risk investments that offer stability and income.
Asset Allocation: Consider a diversified portfolio comprising a mix of asset classes such as equities, bonds, and fixed-income instruments. Allocate a portion of your corpus to equities for growth potential and the remainder to fixed-income securities for stability and income.
Fixed-Income Options: Explore fixed-income instruments such as government bonds, corporate bonds, and fixed deposits. These provide regular interest income and are relatively safer than equities. Consider laddering your fixed-income investments to manage interest rate risk.
Inflation Protection: To protect against inflation, consider inflation-linked bonds or mutual funds that invest in inflation-protected securities. These investments adjust their returns based on changes in inflation rates, helping to preserve purchasing power over time.
Dividend-Paying Stocks: Dividend-paying stocks of established companies can provide a steady income stream in retirement. Look for companies with a history of consistent dividends and strong fundamentals.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Instead of investing a lump sum, consider setting up an SWP from your investment portfolio. This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount periodically, providing a regular income stream while keeping your capital invested.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Given the importance of your retirement funds, consider consulting with a certified financial planner or investment advisor. They can assess your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance, and recommend a tailored investment strategy to meet your needs.
Regular Review: Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your retirement goals and financial needs. Rebalance your portfolio as necessary to maintain the desired asset allocation and risk profile.
By carefully considering these factors and seeking professional advice, you can make informed investment decisions to secure a comfortable retirement and protect against inflation.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1372 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
I started sip with 500 per month 6 years ago and now I have been investigating 1,20,000per month and do have plan to increase this to 2lac per month (including me and my wife's portfolio) I do invest in direct stocks as well. What would be the advise for me , is it wise decision to invest 2lac per month in mutual funds (70%equity) ? My Target is to build 5 crore by 2030.
Ans: It's commendable that you've been consistently investing and increasing your SIP amount over the years. Here are some considerations and advice:

Diversification: Investing in mutual funds alongside direct stocks provides diversification, which can help mitigate risk. Given your target of building a substantial corpus by 2030, diversification is crucial for long-term wealth creation.
Risk Tolerance: Assess your risk tolerance carefully, especially since you mention investing 70% in equity. Equity investments can offer higher returns over the long term but come with greater volatility. Ensure that your risk appetite aligns with your investment strategy.
Review and Adjust: Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions. Consider rebalancing your portfolio periodically to maintain the desired asset allocation.
Financial Planning: Consider consulting with a certified financial planner to create a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. A professional can provide personalized advice and help optimize your investment strategy.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund set aside to cover unexpected expenses or financial setbacks. This can provide peace of mind and prevent the need to dip into your investment portfolio during times of need.
Tax Planning: Keep tax implications in mind, especially as your investment amount increases. Explore tax-efficient investment options and strategies to optimize your returns and minimize tax liabilities.
Stay Informed: Stay updated on market trends, economic developments, and changes in investment regulations. Continuous learning and staying informed can help you make informed investment decisions.
Ultimately, investing 2 lakh per month in mutual funds can be a wise decision if it aligns with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment strategy. Just ensure you have a well-thought-out plan in place and continue to monitor and adjust your investments as needed.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1372 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Dear Sir, I am a 31 year old married man.I am in a huge debt trap of multiple loans plus credit card mounting around 9 lakhs. I work in MNC company earning 70k per month. Please advise or suggest if I can come out of this.
Ans: I understand your concern about being in a debt trap, but there are steps you can take to address the situation and work towards financial stability:

Assess Your Debt: Start by listing out all your debts, including the outstanding amounts, interest rates, and minimum monthly payments. This will give you a clear picture of your financial situation.
Create a Budget: Develop a detailed budget that outlines your monthly income and expenses. Identify areas where you can cut back on spending to free up more money to put towards debt repayment.
Prioritize Debt Repayment: Focus on paying off high-interest debt first, such as credit card debt. Consider using the debt avalanche or debt snowball method to systematically tackle your debts.
Negotiate with Creditors: Reach out to your creditors to discuss repayment options. They may be willing to negotiate lower interest rates, waive fees, or offer a repayment plan that fits your budget.
Explore Debt Consolidation: Consolidating your debts into a single loan with a lower interest rate can make it easier to manage and potentially reduce your overall interest costs. However, be cautious and carefully evaluate the terms and fees associated with any consolidation offer.
Increase Your Income: Look for opportunities to increase your income, such as taking on a part-time job, freelancing, or seeking a higher-paying position within your company.
Seek Professional Help: If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to proceed, consider seeking assistance from a financial counselor or debt relief agency. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation.
Avoid Taking on New Debt: While you're working to pay off your existing debt, avoid taking on any new debt if possible. Stick to your budget and focus on living within your means.
It may take time and discipline, but with a solid plan and commitment to debt repayment, you can overcome your debt challenges and regain control of your finances. Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1372 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi, I am 27 years old and and employees earning around 28k. I would like to create a corpse of approx 1 cr. Also I want to 30 lakhs save my parents for retirement. What should I do please advice?
Ans: To achieve your financial goals of building a corpus of 1 crore for yourself and saving 30 lakhs for your parents' retirement, here's a suggested plan:

Start Early and Save Consistently: Given your age, starting early and saving consistently will work in your favor. Allocate a portion of your income towards savings and investments each month.
Emergency Fund: Begin by building an emergency fund equivalent to at least 3-6 months' worth of living expenses. This fund will provide financial security in case of unexpected expenses or loss of income.
Investment in Mutual Funds: Consider investing in mutual funds through SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans). Choose a mix of equity and debt mutual funds based on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals.
Equity Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth: Allocate a significant portion of your investment towards equity mutual funds, which have the potential to deliver higher returns over the long term. Since you have a long investment horizon, you can afford to take higher risks for potentially higher rewards.
Debt Mutual Funds for Stability: Allocate a portion of your investment towards debt mutual funds for stability and capital preservation. Debt funds can provide steady returns while minimizing the overall portfolio risk.
Retirement Planning for Parents: For your parents' retirement savings, consider investing in a mix of fixed income instruments such as Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS), Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana (PMVVY), and debt mutual funds. These options provide regular income with capital protection.
Regular Review and Adjustments: Regularly review your investment portfolio and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial situation, market conditions, and investment goals.
Consult with a Financial Advisor: It's advisable to consult with a certified financial planner or investment advisor who can assess your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment options, and provide personalized recommendations tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.
By following these steps and investing wisely, you can work towards achieving your financial goals and securing a comfortable future for yourself and your parents.

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |26 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Career
Hello Archana, hope you’re doing well. My name is Sundeep Prakash with 10 years of experience into Software development in Bangalore, I would like to understand how could improve my visibility with my Org level. Any to-do list to follow. Kindly advise. Thanks
Ans: Hello Sundeep!
Yes I am doing well and hope the same for you!!

I would love to help you on this.
Here's the to do list for you to increase your visibility in your organisation-
1. always dress up for the next level. Always wear ironed clothes. A collared shirt, formal trousers, polished shoes. Your socks need to match your trousers. A neat formal belt. Belt and shoes to match . Look the part
2. hone your communication skills. Communicate in a concise and precise manner, with the right tonality. Be an assertive communicator
3. develop leadership qualities
4. build on the three C's - Confidence, Capability and Credibility
5. be an enthusiastic team player
6. develop public speaking skills, just look at all the leaders, they all speak so well, it is a learnable skill
7. grab the opportunities that come your way and prove that you are ready for the next level
8. don't participate in office gossip
9. help your juniors, every leader does this. The benefits of this are immense, you become better when you teach, you develop leadership skills, you create positivity in the office, you develop communication skills and you become popular
10. work hard, work smart

I don't want to overwhelm you with more, just do these 10 pointers and see the difference it'll make to your image in the office.

And above all believe in yourself, you have 10 yrs of experience and believe that you are ready to scale upwards now!

At the end of the day...be happy and spread happiness too!!

All the very best and more power to you!!

...Read more

Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |333 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Hi, my daughter is doing +2 (medical) in India. She want to become doctor. What are the options for her to become doctor in US? What she needs to study in US after her +2 (medical) in india?
Ans: Hello. Thank you for connecting with us. It is amazing to hear that she wants to pursue a medical program in the USA. However, let me tell you that before applying to any medical school, international students should make sure they have completed a four-year bachelor's degree with all of the prerequisite classes needed for the particular medical school being applied to. The prerequisites vary as per the school, but almost all schools require the students to have studied the following science courses: biology, general chemistry, and organic chemistry. Some schools may also require that you have taken other humanities, English, mathematics, and science classes as well, so make sure you look into medical schools while you are still an undergraduate so you can choose your classes appropriately. You will also need to have completed the MCAT test, which stands for Medical College Admissions Test. The test will determine your ability to think critically, problem-solve, and write clearly, as well as measure your knowledge of various scientific concepts. A good score on the MCAT is key to getting into a good medical school. International students must complete a pre- med program, which may take 1-2 years to complete at a US university, to start a degree in medicine in the country. The student will then be required to complete a 4.5-year degree after the pre- med to be awarded an MD degree under AUAMED.

For any further queries, please get in touch with us. We have a team of expert counselors who can guide you through any concerns or questions you may have

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x