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Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Suneel Question by Suneel on Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu I had a crush and fantasy for a girl 13 years younger to me as she was my tuition student. Once we had intimacy when she was 15 and I was 28. Now I am 52 plus and she is 39 and married last year. I accepted it when came to know about her marriage. But she met me last month by chance near her workplace. We are in same city. I am unmarried. She shared her contact with me and we had a healthy talk for 25 minutes at her workplace. But now she is ignoring my calls and messages. I am in anxiety. What to do as I know its all at end now. Just resolve my issue

Ans: Dear Suneel,
You were plain lucky that no one found out that you were intimate with a minor. Things would have been nasty for you if you were exposed at that point in time...There was a teacher-student relationship and a line that you chose to cross.

Now that you are 52, isn't it about time to grow up and let her be? There's a reason why she's ignoring your calls and messages. Maybe she wants to be happily integrated into her world which is her family...
And also, it's time that you move on...If you expected a resolution to be winning her back, that would not be wise as she seems to have made it clear to you that she wants to be left alone. So, please just do that...it will keep offer you peace of mind at some point in your life and also allow her to be in her family in peace.

All the best!

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I am 49 years male, married and having two kids aged 16 years and 13 years. My relations with my spouse are not smooth since many years and we don't have physical intimacy and don't have sex with more than five-six years. I am attracted towards a girl aged about 30 plus years working in my office. We used to go around after office hours, had some coffee and chat and then I dropped her at her residence. I have expressed my love to her and she has responded that she will be my friend forever and don't want to disturb and ruin my family. I was okay with this as I was mentally happy to have her as my friend. But from few days, she has started ignoring me and giving late replies to my messages. I asked her to meet after office hours but she refused on one pretext or other. For few days, we don't have any communications. I was very disturbed and depressed about her behaviour. I even asked the reasons why she has changed, but she replied that she has not... Now, we are exchanging only rare few official messages...... I am so much shocked that I am not even finding courage to ask her to meet.... I fear I might lost her......Kindly advise me
Ans: Look, at some point this girl is going to meet another man and start dating or get married. This change in her behaviour may be indicative of the fact that she has already met someone. And she is aware of your feelings for her, so is probably keeping her distance. My advice is to focus on your own marriage and family, please visit a counsellor and try getting your relationship with your wife back on track. This may be a blessing in disguise for you.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

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Hello Madam, I am 45 year old (Divorce Guy) i have a collegue who is 29 year old (Female ) i guess she is interested in me and i m avoiding bcz of my fail marriage and do want to be a committed relationship but now i m also developed feeling for her and i also told her about my broken marriage because i did not wanted to lie her, since than she is avoiding me and not answering my call this is is hurting me badly and i do want to spoil our relationship ,pls suggest what should i do Pls revert back bcs this is my 2 reminder to you pls do the needful at the earliest
Ans: Right now, it seems like her pulling away might be a response to the complexity of your situation, not necessarily a rejection of you as a person. It's possible that she needs time to process what you've shared about your broken marriage, especially since it likely adds layers to her own thoughts and feelings about the potential of being with you. This isn’t about your worth or your desirability but about her understanding of what a relationship with you would entail.

The best course of action right now is to respect her space and her need for distance. Chasing after her or continuing to reach out while she’s avoiding you might push her further away. Instead, give her time to come to terms with her feelings. If she’s truly interested, she may need this time to reflect on how she feels about your situation and how she can fit into your life.

Meanwhile, focus on yourself—on processing your own emotions about your past and your feelings toward her. You’ve been through difficult relationships, and it’s essential to make sure you’re entering a new connection from a place of emotional clarity rather than from a place of hurt or fear.

If you feel the need for closure or clarity, you can send her a respectful, thoughtful message that expresses how you feel without pressuring her for a response. Something along the lines of acknowledging her silence, letting her know you understand she may need time, and expressing that you’re open to talking whenever she feels ready could be helpful.

The key here is patience—both with her and with yourself. If she decides she isn’t ready or isn’t interested in pursuing a relationship, it’s important to remember that this doesn’t define your ability to find happiness or love again. Take it as an opportunity to grow emotionally and gain further clarity on what you want from a future relationship.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Relationship
Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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