Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Shalini

Shalini Singh  |138 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello Gurus, Please advise what are downsides of not getting married as i have crossed age of 33 years, male and not finding suitable person and how to asses a person who is good at heart , what are pros and cons of getting married, please advice.

Ans: first off 33 is young, you can be 43 or 53 and still feel young. Keep looking if you do wish to find someone special. Even if you meet someone with intent, start as friends, like friends with intent, take it slow or a pace you both would wish to gauge the kind of person. As for staying single or not is personal - I personally see a pro in being with someone special and I also believe love can be found more than once.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 02, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi. Keep me anonymous. I'm in mid 40s. All my life I m a confused guy with regards to everything. Never married. Never had any love affair. I consider speaking to ladies, proposing them, love making as demeaning and bad. But occasionally I feel lonely, driven by natural human desire to love and to be loved. I have always had a desire to marry and and an equal desire to not marry. I however like more of non married life. And never , not even in dreams like making adjustments which may be required in a married life. My way is always Highway. Wt do you suggest or think in this case?? Not that I accept other's suggestions.
Ans: It's perfectly okay to have different desires and preferences when it comes to relationships and marriage. People have diverse perspectives on these matters, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to life. What matters most is that you understand and accept your feelings and choices.

If you feel content and happy with your non-married life and prefer to live independently without making adjustments for a partner, that is entirely valid. Some individuals find fulfillment and satisfaction in singlehood, and that is absolutely fine. Not everyone feels the need to pursue romantic relationships or marriage, and that doesn't make you any less of a person.

However, if you occasionally feel lonely and desire love and companionship, that is also natural. It's okay to have moments of vulnerability and longing for emotional connection. You can explore ways to address these feelings without necessarily committing to a traditional romantic relationship or marriage. For example, you might consider building strong friendships or participating in social activities that allow you to connect with others on a meaningful level.

Ultimately, what matters most is that you embrace and understand yourself and your feelings. If you find contentment and fulfillment in your current lifestyle, there is no need to feel pressured to conform to societal expectations. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, regardless of external opinions or suggestions.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or conflicted about your feelings, talking to a counselor or therapist can be beneficial. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and emotions and help you gain clarity about what you truly want in life.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to approach relationships or marriage. Each person's journey is unique, and the key is to be true to yourself and make choices that align with your values and bring you happiness.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Mam, Kindly note that i am a 39 yrs old guy who is not married yet. The reason behind me not getting married are basically coz i m unable to get a match at my age and none of proposals that i have seen so far, none of dem have turn positive. Now i feel like even though i want to get married, i ll end up alone in life coz at 39 i feel i will not get any match. I am very scared to living the rest of life alone.So mam i want you to help me out ways to live life alone. How to cope up with peers, relatives and colleagues pressure to get married?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address your concerns:
1. "I want to get married or I'll end up alone.": This is not a reason to get married and you know that. Get married to build a team, a family together where you help each other grow. Incidentally, you also have a companion and lonely days instead become days filled with happy cheer and sometimes challenges as well. So, change your mindset while looking for prospects for marriage so that when you are in conversation with someone who is a match, you don't come across needy but instead focus on how the two of you grow together.
Your fear is right now pulling you into marriage rather than for more positive reasons.

2. Pressure from relatives and peers: Is it their life that you are leading? NO! Then stop focusing on what they tell you and focus on how you can make the best use of matrimonial sites or dating apps (if you choose that). Also, request your friends to set you up with someone that they might know since they know you well.

You can also join groups and communities online (beware of scams and scamsters here) where you might find like-minded people to meet and interact with. Being part of some hobby class or adventure camps may also allow for similar meeting points where you can hit it off with people who hold similar interests as yours.

Lastly, don't give up...when the time is right, it is...So, don't lose hope BUT certainly lose your current fearful mindset and embrace a mindset that is joyful and cheerful and selfless.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7194 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 42 year old, living with my family , my wife and 2 kids of 7 year and 1 year. Monthly salary around 80k..monthly exp 60k.but my job is not stable and safe..having a fund corpus of 70 lakh and I have no loan and EMI...PF bal is around 5 lakh.can we survive if I unemployed ?suddenly..what should I plan for future considering I m unemployed..
Ans: It’s commendable that you’ve built a significant corpus of Rs 70 lakh and have no loans. Let’s analyse your situation and provide a detailed strategy to address potential unemployment and secure your family’s future.

Current Financial Overview
Monthly Salary: Rs 80,000
Monthly Expenses: Rs 60,000
Fund Corpus: Rs 70 lakh
PF Balance: Rs 5 lakh
Family: Wife and 2 kids (aged 7 and 1)
Job Security: Unstable
Immediate Steps to Ensure Financial Security
Create an Emergency Fund
Set aside at least 24 months of living expenses (Rs 15 lakh) in a safe, liquid fund.
Invest in liquid mutual funds or high-yield savings accounts for easy access.
Review and Reduce Expenses
Identify non-essential expenses and reduce them to increase savings.
Prioritise education, healthcare, and basic living expenses for your family.
Health and Life Insurance
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage for the family. Aim for Rs 15–20 lakh of coverage.
Buy term insurance with coverage of at least 15–20 times your annual income.
Build a Contingency Plan
Identify alternative income sources like freelancing, part-time work, or consulting.
Update your skills to improve employability in case of job loss.
Strategies for Your Corpus
Secure Investments
Keep Rs 15–20 lakh in safe instruments like FDs, PPF, or short-term debt funds.
These provide stability and liquidity during uncertain times.
Long-term Growth
Allocate Rs 30 lakh to equity mutual funds for long-term growth.
Choose diversified funds like large-cap or balanced advantage funds.
Education Planning
Start SIPs in mutual funds for your children’s education.
Target a dedicated education corpus by aligning with your children’s future needs.
Retirement Planning
Consolidate and continue building your PF balance.
Invest in NPS or equity mutual funds to secure retirement.
Job Loss Scenario: Survival Plan
Use the emergency fund to manage living expenses.
Avoid withdrawing from long-term investments unless absolutely necessary.
Explore short-term gig opportunities or a part-time job to maintain cash flow.
Action Plan for the Future
Regularly monitor and rebalance your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner.
Build an additional income stream like tutoring, consulting, or passive investments.
Keep updating skills relevant to your industry to enhance job security.
Final Insights
With your current corpus and careful planning, you can survive a potential job loss. Focus on safeguarding your family’s future by building an emergency fund, securing insurance, and investing systematically. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner will help align your goals and ensure financial stability.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 01, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
My and my wife separate since 1 year due to misunderstanding and now she is not in vontact with nor giving me divorce and she is living separately from her family and i am.worry about her i tried to contact her and her family but not getting answer. She was always blame for her mistake to me. Apart from this she has long trauma issue with her father which is unresolved. I am emotionaly drained as she is not coming back nor giving me divorce.
Ans: It’s also clear that her unresolved trauma with her father may have influenced the dynamics of your relationship, perhaps creating barriers to open communication or trust. While her past is something she ultimately has to face and heal from, it’s not something you can resolve for her, no matter how much you may wish to.

It's important to acknowledge your own emotional wellbeing right now. It seems like you're carrying the weight of her pain as well as your own. This might be the time to step back and focus on finding some clarity and balance for yourself. Working with a counselor or therapist could help you process your feelings and better navigate the uncertainty of this situation. Emotional exhaustion can cloud decision-making and pull you into cycles of self-blame or frustration, and having professional support might give you the tools to handle these emotions in a healthier way.

You’ve made efforts to reconnect and seek closure, which shows your commitment. However, if she is unwilling or unable to engage right now, this could mean shifting your focus toward what you can control: your healing, your boundaries, and your future. Remember that it’s okay to give yourself permission to find peace, even if her choices leave things unresolved for now.

Finding closure within yourself might not come easily, but it is possible. Take it step by step, allowing yourself time to grieve the relationship and reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself. This isn’t just about moving on; it’s about rediscovering your sense of stability and strength, regardless of her decisions. You're navigating this with care, and that shows your integrity and depth of character. Keep reminding yourself that your wellbeing matters, too.

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1083 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Hello Sir, My Son is in class 12th CBSE stream commerce without maths what options does he have after his board exams.
Ans: Hello dear.
Your son has a variety of career and higher education options to consider after completing his Class 12 CBSE commerce stream without mathematics. You may think of the following options:
(1) B.Com (Bachelor of Commerce)
(2) BBA (Bachelor of Business Administration)
(3) BMS (Bachelor of Management Studies)
(4) BA in Journalism and Mass Communication
(5) Bachelor of Hotel Management (BHM)
(6) Bachelor of Travel and Tourism Management (BTTM)
(7) BA in Economics (without heavy math focus)
(8) BA in Psychology, Sociology, or Political Science
(9) Chartered Accountancy (CA)
(10) Company Secretary (CS)
(11) CMA (Cost and Management Accounting)
(12) Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
(13) Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA)
(14) Fashion Design/Interior Design
(15) Integrated Law Programs (BA LLB)
(16) Bachelor in Public Administration
(17) Digital Marketing
(18) Data Analytics or Business Analytics
(19) Event Management
(20) Banking and Finance
(21) Foreign Language Studies
And many more ..........
If he is unsure about his interests, career counseling and aptitude tests can provide additional guidance. Encourage him to explore his options and choose what he feels excited about for his future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1083 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
My daughter will appear NIOS grade 10 exams this academic year in parts n next year the remaining subjects ie maths n science. She will pursue science stream in 11 n 12 th. What options are there in science stream in line with medical field without giving NEET exams and also she likes computer as a subject.
Ans: Hello.
Why your daughter is appearing in the NIOS 10th grade examination in two parts is not clear. It is suggested that try to clear 10th grade with the required subjects only in sitting i.e. in the same year if she wishes to pursue a science stream to avoid academic problems in some courses. But it seems that your daughter might be weak in mathematics, hence you might have decided to appear for 10th grade in parts. If she likes computers, then for a bright future in computer engineering one should be sound in mathematics. Without giving NEET, you have a lot of options in the medical field. It is highly suggested that instead of focusing on the available fields right now, it would be suggested that you explore the options in 2027 when your daughter will be in the 12th grade. According to her interest at that time, it will be more suitable to choose the options instead of thinking at this stage. Hence the options available are not suggested to you at this early stage. But to suggest, it is better to appear for NEET and get a mark memo (with any score) which will be very useful at the time of admission to many courses related to the medical field.
Best of luck to your daughter for the upcoming examinations and a bright future.
If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.
Radheshyam

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x