Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Dear Mam, Kindly note that i am a 39 yrs old guy who is not married yet. The reason behind me not getting married are basically coz i m unable to get a match at my age and none of proposals that i have seen so far, none of dem have turn positive. Now i feel like even though i want to get married, i ll end up alone in life coz at 39 i feel i will not get any match. I am very scared to living the rest of life alone.So mam i want you to help me out ways to live life alone. How to cope up with peers, relatives and colleagues pressure to get married?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address your concerns:
1. "I want to get married or I'll end up alone.": This is not a reason to get married and you know that. Get married to build a team, a family together where you help each other grow. Incidentally, you also have a companion and lonely days instead become days filled with happy cheer and sometimes challenges as well. So, change your mindset while looking for prospects for marriage so that when you are in conversation with someone who is a match, you don't come across needy but instead focus on how the two of you grow together.
Your fear is right now pulling you into marriage rather than for more positive reasons.

2. Pressure from relatives and peers: Is it their life that you are leading? NO! Then stop focusing on what they tell you and focus on how you can make the best use of matrimonial sites or dating apps (if you choose that). Also, request your friends to set you up with someone that they might know since they know you well.

You can also join groups and communities online (beware of scams and scamsters here) where you might find like-minded people to meet and interact with. Being part of some hobby class or adventure camps may also allow for similar meeting points where you can hit it off with people who hold similar interests as yours.

Lastly, don't give up...when the time is right, it is...So, don't lose hope BUT certainly lose your current fearful mindset and embrace a mindset that is joyful and cheerful and selfless.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

Listen
I am a 40 year old unmarried male from a big metropolitan city. I am unable to find suitable Alliance to get married. I stay with my parents. I guess none of girls today are willing to stay with in-laws. Also, i cannot leave my parents alone as they are old without retirement benefits and completely dependent on me. Due to this i have become a topic of discussion/joke among colleagues in office as well as friends. This is killing me slowly day by day. I have become depressed no self esteem and goal in life. Need some advice on how survive.
Ans: Dear Ajay,
I appreciate that you care for your parents and are truly willing to be there for them. But, if it has begun to affect the course of your life, you must ask yourself: What can I do where I can care for my parents and also make a life for myself?
Most often we get stuck in a problem, thinking that there are no solutions. There are no solutions because we fail to ask ourselves the right questions which enable us to look for solutions.
You do not have to sacrifice your life to care for your parents and at the same time, you are right that in this day and age, not every woman wants to live in a joint family system.
Know this as a fact and now ACT.
1. What is it that I want at age 40 in my personal life beyond caring for my parents?
2. What can I do to make that happen? Have I tried every trick in the book to accomplish that?
3. What will stop me from building my personal life?

Answer these in all honesty and tell yourself: Anything is possible as long as I put my mind to it!
Also take solace in the fact that your parents also want to see you happy. Who knows; if you sat them down and actually told them of your dilemma, they might be able to support you as well...

All the best and do what's right for you!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Everyone, I'm 28M, IT employee, please do think from my perspective what am I about to ask. Since according to indian standards I'm already late for marriage. Now the thing is I've seen enough of failed marriages, not only in news but in own family and not everytime it was fault of the female part but I've seen good men struggling to handle themselves, few times their parents in jail. Thing is I won't be able to tolerate this kind of situation and I'm afraid of myself if I'm ever in this situation. My mother has sacrificed enough to put me through school and college and I do not wish to put her in any trouble because someone had a previous relationship which they are not able to forget or they don't like me then but get's married for the sake of it. I've never been in relationship and has been introvert throughout my life. Things that I've seen in my office and on news and at home have shaken my trust into anyone. A guy like me who use to trust anyone just because they say so is not struggling to even trust my own parents sometimes. Now please don't give me argument like not evey women is like this. I know but I just can't trust anyone and I've told this to my parents yet they insist on me being married. Everyone around me is just telling me how important it is to be married but I just can't. Since I'm only kid of my parents now my mum stopped talking to me a d I've given her my side yet she is pretty adamant on me getting married. Kindly let me know how should I proceed. Also I'm not interested even in being live in or having a girlfriend. I just don't know what to make of my life. So pretty confused, angry, frustrated and what not. Also my mother says that she'll have a thorough background check before taking things any further. I know how cute she is. She thinks everyone is as honest as her. Kindly guide me about how should I proceed since most of the people in my family is now not talking to me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How have you managed to confuse yourself so much? You know how?
By reading into situations that have happened outside of you way too much. Yes, I will say this to you; not all women are the way you perceive.
If you got attacked by a cat, you will say...All cats are aggressive and dangerous. Is this true? Are all cats that way or just the one that you got attacked by?
In your case, you have only seen failed marriages and you have concluded as some universal truth that things will go bad and then you have gone to the extent of protecting your mother. Do you not see what rigid thinking can do? Confuse you, derail you, disillusion you...
If you wish to set things right, change the way that you are thinking of marriage, potential partners for marriage...focus on what can go right rather than on what can go wrong, will help you a lot in this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |1737 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir the kcet verification slip has been released now. But I have received my re evaluated cbse board marks now and there is an increment of 10 marks in PCM. Can I update my marks now and get a new rank somehow? And what is the procedure for that?
Ans: Yes, you can update your KCET application with your new CBSE marks after re-evaluation. However, whether it impacts your rank depends on the Karnataka Examination Authority (KEA) rules and when your revised marks are released—especially in relation to the KCET counseling schedule.

Here's what you should do:
1. Check the KEA Website
Go to cetonline.karnataka.gov.in.

Look for any announcements or FAQs about:

Updating marks after re-evaluation.

Impact on KCET 2025 ranks and verification slip changes.

Check if they mention a process for submitting updated marks from other boards like CBSE.

2. Understand the Timeline
KCET Counseling Start Date:
If your updated CBSE marks come before KCET counseling begins, you’ll likely be allowed to update them.

CBSE Re-evaluation Timeline:
Re-evaluation takes time. Check CBSE’s website for expected timelines so you know when to expect your updated marks.

3. If Re-evaluation Results Come Before Counseling
Collect Documents:

Original CBSE mark sheet.

Revised mark sheet (after re-evaluation).

A copy of the re-evaluation confirmation (if available).

Contact KEA:

Use their official helpline or email (from their website).

Ask specifically how to update your marks in their system.

Follow KEA Instructions:

If allowed, KEA will give you exact steps—possibly uploading documents online or via a specific portal.

Rank Might Change:

If your updated marks are submitted in time, KEA may recalculate your rank using the new scores.

4. If Re-evaluation Results Come After Counseling
Spot Admissions or Special Rounds:

If regular counseling is over, you may not be able to change your application immediately.

However, you might be eligible for spot admissions or extra counseling rounds (if seats are still available).

Stay in Touch with KEA:

Contact them and ask whether your revised marks can still be considered in any remaining rounds.

5. General Tips
Don’t Assume Anything:
Always rely on official updates from KEA and CBSE. Don’t act on rumors or hearsay.

Keep All Records:
Save copies of your application, payment receipts, emails, and any mark sheets (old and revised).

Ask for Help if Needed:
If confused, talk to an education counselor or someone experienced with KCET admissions.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x