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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 24, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025
Relationship

I am in a relationship with a girl since 2 years, we have a lot of differences like, she is more than 3 years older than me, our castes are different and she is marathi and I am non marathi. But apart from all this she has just got divorced from court legally, till now she was living separately from his ex husband. She had a affair for about 10 years with her ex but they started living separately just after 8 months of marriage. When I met this girl, we both fell in love, but there were 2-3 mistakes from my side during the first year of our relationship. I lied on small things thinking she will get hurt if she knows that. I haven't cheated, not even talked personal things with any other girl. And for the last one year i have been as honest as anyone can be. But I feel she is not like she used to be. I don't know if I can even call this a relationship anymore. Since we are colleagues we talk in office, we go out for dinner, we still talk lot of personal things too, but that spark is not there. I wanted to marry this girl once. What should I do now?

Ans: Hello sir. Sir, since relationships are very sensitive and the decision to marry someone is an important decision which should be taken with lot of patience so that you don't regret it later. And the thing which you said that she has changed, she may have changed due to your lies. I appreciate that now you are honest with her. Spark needs to be created. It will not remain without effort. If she is sincere with you and you are loyal with her and you both feel that you can spend life together, you should go ahead. Nobody remains the same through out the life. Changes always come. Sit patiently with your friend and discuss the options and see work out if you both want to get married. Then take a decision. I hope this solves your problem.
Take care!
Follow me: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

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Hi Anu, I have been going through your column on rediff for some time and I feel you will be able to help me out. I want your advice on my relationship with my girlfriend. We have been in the relationship for 3 years now. I love her a lot and see a future with her. But there are some issues. I think she has some mental health issues. I could never judge in what mood she is in. I look forward everyday to the time we talk or spend together but most often after the meet/ talk I feel low. She almost never misses to find mistakes in everything I do and she blames it on my immaturity since she is 3.5 years elder to me (I am 29). Very rarely I do find out eventually that her judgment was right but most often I feel in all sense she is irrational and I think I am correct. This has taken an emotional toll on me. Now I do not feel like sharing thoughts and things with her because of the fights and emotional toll that I would have to face. I love her a lot and it seems like she too does but might be, I am wrong. I tried breaking up with her thrice. But every time because of some or other urgency or work-related stuff when we reconnect we fall back deeply in love. We are in same field but different organization. I was earlier in the same organisation but she left as she got a better offer. It makes sense to me but sometimes I do feel she could have stayed in same organization). She has been asking me to marry her, but all these things stated above makes me nervous what might be in future if I do marry her. As I take time to think it out she puts it as if I never wanted to marry her. I seek your advice.
Ans:

Dear GP,

A healthy relationship is one where both individuals help each other grow and thrive.

Pointing out the other’s inadequacies can be detrimental to their emotional health.

You keep walking on egg shells around her and have started to keep things away from her for fear of her rebuke and complaints.

How is this healthy when you can’t share your thoughts with your partner? This will become a habit and not a very good one for sure.

Also, age does not define whether one can boss around or not.

She certainly maybe right in most cases, but there is a way to convey the same thing to you.

Love and calmness in communication can actually transform everything and everyone provided the intent is there.

Marriage under these circumstances can be stressful for you.

So I do suggest that the two of you have an honest talk and when she knows how you feel and how keeping things away from her has become your coping mechanism, I do feel she might be able to see the situation in a new light.

Also, things that you might have misinterpreted about her may also surface.

So, please have that necessary talk without wasting anymore time. It will give you good perspectives to work from.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Dear Anu, my girlfriend and I have been dating for the past 4 years in a live-in relationship. Before that we were good friends and she's 3 years elder to me. There came a situation that she was depressed due to something and I was supporting her which she thought as my love. We started this relationship although there was no serious commitment from my side.We had a good relationship, good moments. She paid my bills all the time even when I insisted, but there were lots of fights.I feel she never understood me or anything I said or my thought process. I don't think I really love her, because there is no spark and tried ending it many times.In frustration I even started looking for other people so that maybe I can come out of it but she would find out and make me stay with her with some or other reason.She's a very polite and sweet person and I don't want to be hurting her. She's asking me to marry her which is making me nervous. What do I do ?
Ans:

Dear A,

Kindly as yourself: what was the Live-in relationship?

Was it a relationship for her and not for you?

I really don’t understand what you mean by: She thought of your support as Love and that you were not serious commitment from your side.

It’s possible when you both were in a Live-in arrangement, she would have considered this as a relationship and become serious about it.

Since now it has gotten into a marriage stage for her, please respect her mind space and have a serious talk about this.

Take consideration of her feelings when you convey yours.

This is going to take some effort as you ease her into a space where she understands where you are in this connection.

Getting into another relationship for a distraction might not be a great idea; so do spend some time very amicably closing this one where the two of you can be mature about this.

All the best!

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Dear Anu, my girlfriend and I have been dating for the past 4 years in a live-in relationship. Before that we were good friends and she's 3 years elder to me. There came a situation that she was depressed due to something and I was supporting her which she thought as my love. We started this relationship although there was no serious commitment from my side.We had a good relationship, good moments. She paid my bills all the time even when I insisted, but there were lots of fights.I feel she never understood me or anything I said or my thought process. I don't think I really love her, because there is no spark and tried ending it many times.In frustration I even started looking for other people so that maybe I can come out of it but she would find out and make me stay with her with some or other reason.She's a very polite and sweet person and I don't want to be hurting her. She's asking me to marry her which is making me nervous. What do I do ?
Ans:

Dear A,

Kindly as yourself: what was the Live-in relationship?

Was it a relationship for her and not for you?

I really don’t understand what you mean by: She thought of your support as Love and that you were not serious commitment from your side.

It’s possible when you both were in a Live-in arrangement, she would have considered this as a relationship and become serious about it.

Since now it has gotten into a marriage stage for her, please respect her mind space and have a serious talk about this.

Take consideration of her feelings when you convey yours.

This is going to take some effort as you ease her into a space where she understands where you are in this connection.

Getting into another relationship for a distraction might not be a great idea; so do spend some time very amicably closing this one where the two of you can be mature about this.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam, im a lecturer since 5 years. Im in relationship with a girl from Srilanka. Most of our conversation was through mobile. She is a tutor in srilanka for 10 and below standard students. Now I'm 29, she is 27. Since 5 years we are loving each other. We hardly met. In Krishnagiri Tamilnadu I first met her in a Psychotherapy course, witch was about a month. We were good friends in the beginning of our relationship and at the end of a month course she was flying back to Srilanka, before she goes she kissed on my forehead, from then on im in love with the girl. For first few years we were happy in our relationship, but last two years onwards we fight almost every day. Both sides parents are fixing matches, both us are rejecting all the matches but we never shared with our families. Don't know where our relationship is going to end. Its not that my parents won't accept, but when my parents and siblings ask do you any one whom you want marry, or love some one I am not able to reveal to them. Many times I decided and planned and imagined to speak with my family but when it comes to reality im not able to speak. Other side she also is not revealing anything to her parents. Im rejecting the matches that are coming, she is also rejecting of hers. But both are not speaking properly now a days. Most of the time our relationship is filled with fights. Both are adjusting. Some time im feeling to stop the relationship and not to marry at all. I told her to marry as her parents say, and I don't want marry anyone. She is also saying me to marry some one and she wants remain single. But don't know what is happening between us. Im confused to continue or break up or marry her or not to marry her. Nothing is working in my mind. Recently my parents have brought a proposal who was my childhood crush. Suddenly I am indirectly telling her to marry to whom her parents give. She also getting good proposals but rejecting saying that she needs to work and earn money. Same reason I'm also giving. One more issue is she is tamilian of Srilanka and I'm Telugu from Andra. Both family members can't speak directly also. Unable to take any decisions. Kindly help me
Ans: The fact that you're not able to communicate openly with your families, despite rejecting matches on both sides, shows that there might be some fear or hesitation about fully committing to this relationship. Maybe it’s the distance, the cultural and language differences, or the struggles you’re having recently in your relationship that are making it difficult to move forward.

On the other hand, both of you seem to be stuck in a cycle where you're not happy but also not ready to let go. This might be causing even more stress and frustration, leading to the frequent fights. The decision to stay together or part ways is something only you both can make, but it sounds like there’s a lot of unresolved tension and unspoken fears in your relationship.

One thing to consider is having an honest conversation with each other, not about the fights or current frustrations, but about what you both want for the future. If you're both rejecting matches, it shows some level of commitment, but the real question is whether you both see a future together. Do you still love each other, or are you staying together out of habit and fear of the unknown?

If you both feel there is still something worth fighting for, it might be worth giving the relationship another chance by opening up to your families. This could ease the pressure you're feeling and help you both feel more supported. If, however, the love has faded and the fights have taken over, it may be time to re-evaluate whether staying together is what's best for both of you.

In any case, clarity will only come through open communication—both with her and your family. If you continue to stay in a relationship without making a clear decision, the frustration and confusion will likely grow. Take some time to reflect on what you really want, and then take the courageous step of addressing it with her and your families. This may not be easy, but it’s the first step to finding a resolution and peace in your heart.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, Im from Bangalore, I work in IT My monthly in hand salary post deductions 1.09L, Ive a kid who is 3 years old and my wife is home maker. I would like to known if my apporach of savings/investements to be changed little bit to maximize savings and accumulate amount for my kid higher education and house purchasing. My monthly expenses and savings as below Rent: 12k House hold exp:15k My savings: SIP Mutual funds: im doing it both on my name as well as my wife name, On My name: monthly 14k( accumulated so far 3.18L) On My wife name: Monthly 6k( Accumualated sonfar 68k) Ive stocks investments of about 2.30lakhs I do RD of 20k Ive cheeti every month 20k( will be completed in 2 months and i get 4 lakhs) Sukanya samridhi yogana: 3.5k( so far accumulated 75k) Ive emergency fund of 3lakhs And everymonth I save 8k in liquid fund for my child school fees i use this accumulated amount for every next year school fees 4k every month savings for LIC Jeevan labh 936 And 6k in gold and 2k in silver I know gold and silver are voltalie considering recent returns im doing SIP of 8k both gold and silver. Ive term insurance for 1cr Health insurance company sponsored 10lakhs. My goal is to buy a house in 2 years atleast to make down payment of 15l and rest to go for loan And my child higher education after 12th to save how do i plan my investements and I wanted to make sure to continue the SIP which im doing now.
Ans: Your financial discipline is very impressive. With a monthly income of Rs 1.09 lakh, you have already built a strong system of savings. Supporting a family with a young child while still investing regularly shows very good financial maturity.

Let us review and fine tune your structure so your goals become easier to achieve.

» Understanding Your Current Financial Structure

Your current monthly pattern roughly shows:

– Household expenses around Rs 27k
– Mutual fund SIP around Rs 20k
– Recurring deposit Rs 20k
– Chit fund Rs 20k (ending soon)
– Gold and silver SIP Rs 8k
– LIC premium Rs 4k
– Sukanya Samriddhi Rs 3.5k
– School fee saving Rs 8k

You are saving a very healthy portion of your income. This is a very strong foundation.

But your money is spread across too many instruments.

Simplifying your structure will improve growth.

» Emergency Fund Review

You already have Rs 3 lakhs emergency fund.

This is a good cushion.

– Maintain this in safe liquid instruments
– Do not use it for investments or house purchase
– This protects your family during job or health uncertainty

This part is already well managed.

» House Down Payment Goal (Next 2 Years)

You want to arrange Rs 15 lakhs in 2 years.

Equity mutual funds are not suitable for such a short goal because market volatility can disturb the amount.

So the correct approach is:

– Use the Rs 4 lakh chit amount when received
– Continue the recurring deposit
– Add part of monthly savings into safe short-term instruments

This will help you accumulate the down payment safely.

Avoid depending on stock market returns for a 2-year goal.

» Child Higher Education Planning

Your child is 3 years old. You still have 14 to 15 years.

This is a very good long-term horizon.

Your mutual fund SIP strategy is correct.

Continue investing in actively managed diversified equity funds.

Benefits of actively managed funds:

– Professional fund managers select strong companies
– Portfolio can adjust during market changes
– Aim to generate higher return than the market

For long goals like education, equity funds are powerful due to compounding.

Continue SIPs in both your name and your wife's name.

Gradually increase SIP whenever your salary increases.

» Review of Gold and Silver Investments

You are currently investing Rs 8k monthly in gold and silver.

Precious metals are useful for diversification but they should not dominate the portfolio.

– Keep allocation around 5% to 10% of total investments
– Do not increase beyond this level

Too much allocation in metals can reduce long-term wealth creation.

Gradually redirect part of this amount to equity funds.

» LIC Policy Review

You mentioned a policy with premium around Rs 4k per month.

Many investment-cum-insurance policies give limited return compared to mutual funds.

If this policy is mainly for investment purpose and not protection:

– Review surrender value
– Consider stopping and redirecting future money to mutual funds

Pure term insurance already protects your family.

Your Rs 1 crore term cover is a good decision.

» Health Insurance Planning

Currently you have company health cover of Rs 10 lakhs.

This is good but it is linked to your job.

So consider an additional personal family health insurance.

This ensures protection even if you change jobs.

Medical inflation in India is rising quickly.

» Managing Too Many Investment Buckets

Right now you have:

– Mutual funds
– Stocks
– RD
– Chit fund
– Gold and silver
– LIC
– Sukanya Samriddhi

Too many small buckets reduce clarity.

A simpler structure is better:

– Equity mutual funds for long-term goals
– Debt instruments for short-term goals
– Small allocation to gold

Simplicity improves tracking and discipline.

» Tax Awareness

When you redeem equity mutual funds for long-term goals:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Planning withdrawals properly helps reduce tax burden.

» Finally

You are already doing many things right.

Small improvements can make your financial life even stronger.

Focus on these actions:

– Continue mutual fund SIPs for long-term goals
– Use RD and chit amount for house down payment
– Reduce excess allocation to gold and silver
– Review LIC policy usefulness
– Add personal health insurance cover
– Increase SIP every year with salary growth

With this disciplined structure, you can comfortably achieve your child's education goal and build financial stability for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6832 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2026Hindi
Career
The NEET is 2 months away. I have completed my syllabus but was sick for 1.5 months now. I am getting 348 marks. I feel like I have forgotten everything. How can I score 650+?
Ans: You still have about 8 weeks, which is enough time to make a big jump if you focus on revision + question practice. First, don’t panic about “forgetting everything”; after illness, it’s normal for recall to feel weak, but concepts usually come back quickly with practice. Start by revising Biology daily (2–3 chapters/day) because it gives the fastest score increase. For Physics and Chemistry, revise formulas, key reactions, and then solve topic-wise MCQs the same day to rebuild recall. Take a Full Mock Test every 3–4 days, analyze mistakes carefully, and make a small “error notebook” so you don’t repeat them. Try to solve 120–150 questions daily and spend more time on Biology accuracy, since it’s the easiest way to push your score up quickly. Also, maintain sleep, light exercise, and proper meals so your energy fully returns after being sick. If you stay consistent with revision, mocks, and error analysis for the next two months, jumping from 350 to 600+ is realistic, and 650+ becomes possible with high accuracy.

Practical Advice: You can improve your score from 350 to 650 with thorough study and practice. Saying recall is very easy, but it will only be effective if it was well understood in the past. It is better to choose chapters from PCB where you feel more confident and focus on questions from these chapters in the NEET Exam.
For 650+: You Score like- BIO > 300, PHY > 150, CHE > 200.


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Money
How and where to check the change in benchmark index of a mutual fund from the date of investment.
Ans: It is good that you want to track the benchmark change of your mutual fund. Monitoring this helps you understand whether the fund performance comparison is fair and transparent.

» Why Benchmark Change Matters

– Every mutual fund is compared with a benchmark index
– The benchmark helps you judge if the fund manager is doing better than the market
– If the benchmark changes, past performance comparison may look different

So it is important to know when the benchmark was changed.

» Where to Check Benchmark Changes

You can verify benchmark changes through the following places:

– Mutual fund scheme factsheet

Fund houses publish monthly factsheets

It mentions the current benchmark and sometimes the previous benchmark

– Scheme Information Document (SID)

The SID explains the benchmark used by the fund

When the benchmark changes, the document gets updated

– Addendum or notice issued by the fund house

When a benchmark is changed, the fund house releases an official notice

This is usually available on the AMC website under “Notices” or “Updates”

– Your account statement or email communication

Fund houses normally inform investors through email when such changes happen

» Platforms That Show Benchmark History

You may also check on investment tracking platforms such as:

– Mutual fund research portals
– Registrar websites where your folio is maintained
– Portfolio tracking platforms

These sometimes mention historical benchmark details.

» Practical Tip for Investors

While tracking benchmark change, also observe:

– Whether the new benchmark is more appropriate for the fund category
– Whether the fund is consistently beating the benchmark
– Whether the fund strategy has changed along with the benchmark

If benchmark keeps changing frequently, it deserves closer review.

» Finally

The best place to confirm benchmark change from the exact date is the official communication from the fund house such as SID updates, addendum notices, and monthly factsheets. Keeping these records helps you track whether your fund is truly creating value over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2555 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |593 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Money
I am doing SIP for following mutual funds, should I adjust my SIP amount between these funds or start investing into new funds also (Small cap or Metal ETFs or others) to get better future returns with some stability. SIP % amount mentioned with each fund, total SIP amount is Rs. 29000 per month. I wish to increase it to Rs. 40000 per month. I have take little risk and looking for 7-10 year horizon. started investing since last 1 year. I am into late 40s. I efficiently use PPF/NPS/SSY for family members. Is it worth to start Vatsalya NPS as well? SBI Equity Hybrid Fund (14%), ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund (14%), Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund (17%), HDFC Mid Cap Fund (28%), ICICI Prudential Large Cap Fund (28%)
Ans: Hi SP,

Let us go through the details one at a time.

- You are investing in PPF, NPS n SSY for family. This is good with risk free returns. Continue doing the same.
- No requirement for NPS Vatsalaya for long term.
- You are doing good and your portfolio looks quite balanced considering the amount and % mentioned. You have a good blend of equity and hybrid funds for stability.
- However can consider adding small cap as well for the long term horizon of 10 years. Start a new SIP of 4000 in Axis Small Cap.
- Increase contribution to flexicap fund and SBI Equity Hybrid fund.
- Avoid investing in sectoral funds like metal sectors as these are cyclic performers and not required for your time period.

Overall it looks good but yet you may consider consulting a professional for long term goals and aligning your investments with your goals.
Hence can consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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