Anu Krishna |841 Answers |Ask -Follow
Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022
Dear Anu, my girlfriend and I have been dating for the past 4 years in a live-in relationship.
Before that we were good friends and she's 3 years elder to me.
There came a situation that she was depressed due to something and I was supporting her which she thought as my love.
We started this relationship although there was no serious commitment from my side.
We had a good relationship, good moments. She paid my bills all the time even when I insisted, but there were lots of fights.
I feel she never understood me or anything I said or my thought process.
I don't think I really love her, because there is no spark and tried ending it many times.
In frustration I even started looking for other people so that maybe I can come out of it but she would find out and make me stay with her with some or other reason.
She's a very polite and sweet person and I don't want to be hurting her.
She's asking me to marry her which is making me nervous. What do I do ?
Dear A,
Kindly as yourself: what was the Live-in relationship?
Was it a relationship for her and not for you?
I really don’t understand what you mean by: She thought of your support as Love and that you were not serious commitment from your side.
It’s possible when you both were in a Live-in arrangement, she would have considered this as a relationship and become serious about it.
Since now it has gotten into a marriage stage for her, please respect her mind space and have a serious talk about this.
Take consideration of her feelings when you convey yours.
This is going to take some effort as you ease her into a space where she understands where you are in this connection.
Getting into another relationship for a distraction might not be a great idea; so do spend some time very amicably closing this one where the two of you can be mature about this.
All the best!
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