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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 27, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Mahesh Question by Mahesh on Jan 27, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

I am Mahesh and I am in relationship from last 4 years and we were planning to get married. But all of a sudden things changed.
My girlfriend started working and during that period she met with a guy and she said the person is her friend and she get good vibes while talking to him.
I stated that you should limit your friendly behaviour with everyone and asked not to hang out with that person. Instead of taking thing into positive way she started disclosing the things and a day I saw her taking lift with that person.
When I asked about that thing she said I didn't wanted to hurt you that's why I didn't told you anything about it because you will react badly. After that things have changed and we both are not having good relationship. Should I just end or should wait for some time?

Thanks and regards,
MB

Ans:

Dear MB,

Time to bring in that wise conversation, that will be open, vocal and honest.

Tell her how you feel; wait for her to respond without judging or demanding.

Also, ask yourself if you are being possessive and jealous and if your imagination is leading you to be insecure!

Whatever it is, do sit down and have that frank discussion with her before you decide one way or the other. Communication does solve a lot of things; so please use it wisely.

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |602 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

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Relationship
Hi Maam, I am in a process of awaiting divorce from my wife and now I am in a relationship with my previous girlfriend.She is also in a process of awaiting divorce from court.We are in touch from a year ago and we both are planning to marry and everything was working fine but suddenly there are so much misunderstandings happened as she is observing my belonging things (Bags,tiffin,etc.)in my absense and I found an old lemon wrapped in paper in my bag.She is confused whether to proceed for marriage or not as I think.I have doubt whether she has got any option for marry as she is continuously busy on call and messages from a few days ago.We also decided to talk face to face and clear misunderstandings but due to her birthday came today we have postponed the meeting.We are working in same office as I have joined her in my office per my reference. Please help me know what decision I should take about my life.I dont want to lose her as she is my first love which came in my life twice.Hoping for a effective suggestion.
Ans: Dear Prasad,
Past relationships may not necessarily be the same in the present. People change, situations change...
What would she get by 'observing' your belongings? I don't understand that!
If she is still unsure whether to go ahead with you or not, then you may just be another option for her to choose from. I suggest that you stop being too available to her and then watch...Allow her to feel your absence and this will make her appreciate your presence in her life. This will help her realize your value...Otherwise, just on a whim, she might decide and marry you when you never gave her a chance to know your worth!
Take a PAUSE, be a little unavailable and then watch how she responds to it...If she is truly in love with you, I am sure she will do what it takes to appreciate you and also learn to understand what she wants for herself in life.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |607 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, myself Manjur Rahman from Assam India. I work as a Telecommunication engineer in Radio Frequency and optimisation test, my yearly net worth is 252000 only , recently I have been through a relationship... which now possibly became a part of my life, after thousands of search i finally found my love of my life which is for real, its been just 9month till today, i found her in my life, we planned to be open infront of our parents and families, and so our parents met and they fixed our marriage, yet date not fixed but we took 7more months, now the thing is that , we both became more sentimental and stubborn , being rude and i feel like after all this our love and care which is really too much but now little bit of it is missing from both , qnd now after a fight we don't talk to each other for more then 5days , slowly2 days were increased, where we can't stay more than 1hr after a argue, before...and she use to say all the time even after a small argument..i don't want to stay with you, lets break this relationship even i do agree at the time of ...you know what i mean..! Where earlier we both use to say if one can say for leaving then obviously he she can leave because one day definitely he she will leave if being in a good relationship if one can say the word 'leave you / break up'. Now we are doing it..and also much More .. Her name is Rasmina Begum, also from same district but 50km distance from me... please let me know if there is any good things so we could do together for making our relationship perfect more than before and letting it till last breath ????...
Ans: Manjur.
Navigating the ups and downs of a relationship, especially as you move towards marriage, can be challenging but deeply rewarding. It’s clear you and Rasmina care deeply for each other.

Start with better communication. Listening actively to each other without planning your response is crucial. When Rasmina shares her feelings, focus entirely on understanding her perspective. This shows respect and helps in reducing misunderstandings. Additionally, express your emotions calmly using "I feel" statements. For example, say "I feel upset when..." instead of "You always...". This shifts the conversation from blame to sharing feelings, making it easier to connect and respond with empathy.

Conflicts are natural, but how you handle them makes all the difference. If arguments get heated, taking a short break can help you both cool down and revisit the discussion with a clearer mind. After an argument, it's important to reconnect with simple gestures of kindness or a reassuring word, reaffirming your commitment to each other and healing any emotional rift.
Healthy relationships thrive on both shared experiences and personal growth. Encourage each other to pursue individual interests, which keeps you both energized and brings fresh perspectives into the relationship. At the same time, find activities you enjoy doing together to build positive memories and deepen your bond.

Finally, regularly remind yourselves of why you fell in love and the future you’re building together. Reflect on your shared dreams and celebrate your journey. This helps keep your connection strong and resilient through challenging times.

By focusing on these aspects—improved communication, constructive conflict resolution, balancing individuality with togetherness, and reaffirming your commitment—you and Rasmina can strengthen your relationship and look forward to a fulfilling life together.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |607 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, im a lecturer since 5 years. Im in relationship with a girl from Srilanka. Most of our conversation was through mobile. She is a tutor in srilanka for 10 and below standard students. Now I'm 29, she is 27. Since 5 years we are loving each other. We hardly met. In Krishnagiri Tamilnadu I first met her in a Psychotherapy course, witch was about a month. We were good friends in the beginning of our relationship and at the end of a month course she was flying back to Srilanka, before she goes she kissed on my forehead, from then on im in love with the girl. For first few years we were happy in our relationship, but last two years onwards we fight almost every day. Both sides parents are fixing matches, both us are rejecting all the matches but we never shared with our families. Don't know where our relationship is going to end. Its not that my parents won't accept, but when my parents and siblings ask do you any one whom you want marry, or love some one I am not able to reveal to them. Many times I decided and planned and imagined to speak with my family but when it comes to reality im not able to speak. Other side she also is not revealing anything to her parents. Im rejecting the matches that are coming, she is also rejecting of hers. But both are not speaking properly now a days. Most of the time our relationship is filled with fights. Both are adjusting. Some time im feeling to stop the relationship and not to marry at all. I told her to marry as her parents say, and I don't want marry anyone. She is also saying me to marry some one and she wants remain single. But don't know what is happening between us. Im confused to continue or break up or marry her or not to marry her. Nothing is working in my mind. Recently my parents have brought a proposal who was my childhood crush. Suddenly I am indirectly telling her to marry to whom her parents give. She also getting good proposals but rejecting saying that she needs to work and earn money. Same reason I'm also giving. One more issue is she is tamilian of Srilanka and I'm Telugu from Andra. Both family members can't speak directly also. Unable to take any decisions. Kindly help me
Ans: The fact that you're not able to communicate openly with your families, despite rejecting matches on both sides, shows that there might be some fear or hesitation about fully committing to this relationship. Maybe it’s the distance, the cultural and language differences, or the struggles you’re having recently in your relationship that are making it difficult to move forward.

On the other hand, both of you seem to be stuck in a cycle where you're not happy but also not ready to let go. This might be causing even more stress and frustration, leading to the frequent fights. The decision to stay together or part ways is something only you both can make, but it sounds like there’s a lot of unresolved tension and unspoken fears in your relationship.

One thing to consider is having an honest conversation with each other, not about the fights or current frustrations, but about what you both want for the future. If you're both rejecting matches, it shows some level of commitment, but the real question is whether you both see a future together. Do you still love each other, or are you staying together out of habit and fear of the unknown?

If you both feel there is still something worth fighting for, it might be worth giving the relationship another chance by opening up to your families. This could ease the pressure you're feeling and help you both feel more supported. If, however, the love has faded and the fights have taken over, it may be time to re-evaluate whether staying together is what's best for both of you.

In any case, clarity will only come through open communication—both with her and your family. If you continue to stay in a relationship without making a clear decision, the frustration and confusion will likely grow. Take some time to reflect on what you really want, and then take the courageous step of addressing it with her and your families. This may not be easy, but it’s the first step to finding a resolution and peace in your heart.

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |47 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025
Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl since 2 years, we have a lot of differences like, she is more than 3 years older than me, our castes are different and she is marathi and I am non marathi. But apart from all this she has just got divorced from court legally, till now she was living separately from his ex husband. She had a affair for about 10 years with her ex but they started living separately just after 8 months of marriage. When I met this girl, we both fell in love, but there were 2-3 mistakes from my side during the first year of our relationship. I lied on small things thinking she will get hurt if she knows that. I haven't cheated, not even talked personal things with any other girl. And for the last one year i have been as honest as anyone can be. But I feel she is not like she used to be. I don't know if I can even call this a relationship anymore. Since we are colleagues we talk in office, we go out for dinner, we still talk lot of personal things too, but that spark is not there. I wanted to marry this girl once. What should I do now?
Ans: Hello sir. Sir, since relationships are very sensitive and the decision to marry someone is an important decision which should be taken with lot of patience so that you don't regret it later. And the thing which you said that she has changed, she may have changed due to your lies. I appreciate that now you are honest with her. Spark needs to be created. It will not remain without effort. If she is sincere with you and you are loyal with her and you both feel that you can spend life together, you should go ahead. Nobody remains the same through out the life. Changes always come. Sit patiently with your friend and discuss the options and see work out if you both want to get married. Then take a decision. I hope this solves your problem.
Take care!
Follow me: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |1147 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

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Hi I was alloted EE in rru . I am very confused about whether I should take the seat or not beacause they are calling for in person documents verification how is the hostel? Placements? Mess? Campus life ? Etc and I live in assam and wanted to know if its worth it Please guys reply as it is urgent since they are calling for admission within these 7 days
Ans: Hi Mega,
Please understand that based solely on your application, they have requested you to bring all your testimonials. Before applying, you should have asked the questions you mentioned. If you are not interested, someone else will benefit; if you are interested, please allow room for others.

If a stranger gives a wrong review, how will you handle that? Every person's experience is different. What is your goal—are you trying to match the course or not?

**Hostel:** Construct a house there, and then you can join the course.
**Mess:** Consider taking your mom with you so you won’t face any issues (though you might still eat unpleasant food outside).
**Placement:** Without learning the essential skills, you will not get a job. Instead, someone else may appear more qualified and secure the position.

You haven’t shared much about yourself. Are you a disciplined student? Do you have any bad habits? Do you actively participate in sports? How many hours do you spend on your education? How many hours do you spend on social media?

If the answers are not favorable, then follow this simple routine: Eat, sleep, and repeat. Enjoy life. That’s a nice solution I have provided.

DO PARTICIPATE IN THE YOGA CAMPAIGN.

YOGA FOR ONE EARTH, ONE HEALTH.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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