I am Mahesh and I am in relationship from last 4 years and we were planning to get married. But all of a sudden things changed.
My girlfriend started working and during that period she met with a guy and she said the person is her friend and she get good vibes while talking to him.
I stated that you should limit your friendly behaviour with everyone and asked not to hang out with that person. Instead of taking thing into positive way she started disclosing the things and a day I saw her taking lift with that person.
When I asked about that thing she said I didn't wanted to hurt you that's why I didn't told you anything about it because you will react badly. After that things have changed and we both are not having good relationship. Should I just end or should wait for some time?
Thanks and regards,
Time to bring in that wise conversation, that will be open, vocal and honest.
Tell her how you feel; wait for her to respond without judging or demanding.
Also, ask yourself if you are being possessive and jealous and if your imagination is leading you to be insecure!
Whatever it is, do sit down and have that frank discussion with her before you decide one way or the other. Communication does solve a lot of things; so please use it wisely.
All the best!
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Kindly as yourself: what was the Live-in relationship?
Was it a relationship for her and not for you?
I really don’t understand what you mean by: She thought of your support as Love and that you were not serious commitment from your side.
It’s possible when you both were in a Live-in arrangement, she would have considered this as a relationship and become serious about it.
Since now it has gotten into a marriage stage for her, please respect her mind space and have a serious talk about this.
Take consideration of her feelings when you convey yours.
This is going to take some effort as you ease her into a space where she understands where you are in this connection.
Getting into another relationship for a distraction might not be a great idea; so do spend some time very amicably closing this one where the two of you can be mature about this.
All the best!
The very fact that you have approached me, a total stranger on the topic of whether you can trust your spouse or not, simply means that somewhere you have lost trust in her.
The timelines are a little confusing to me and hence what I would say to you is that: Past is the past and what happens there and what people do is what they can in the best possible manner. So, do not bring the past into a present decision.
But if there are any parallel relationships brewing now that are threatening your mind and the marriage, kindly confront her calmly and with ample evidence in your kitty to produce in case she denies them. But make sure that the evidence that you have is all real with time stamps on it.
Do make sure that the confrontation is not for you to prove a point and score high but it comes from a place where you want to know where this marriage is headed.
This helps avoid unnecessary arguments and will help you both be in a solution space.
If she says sorry, you need to ask yourself, if you can move ahead placing trust on her again.
What must she do to gain your trust? State this clearly to her. Move on this quickly before it eats your peace of mind.
All the best!