I have a problem speaking with women, I can't directly look into them eye eye contact and talk. How do I overcome this, I don't want this. I am 35 years.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At your age, being self-conscious is natural...what is more important is how you perceive what is going on in a more mature way rather than worrying about it.
Instead of focusing on why you are unable to speak with girls, why not focus on how you can widen your social circle at school/college? Now this social circle can be girls and boys or only boys...why does that matter? Slowly, as you gain confidence within that social circle, you may start to feel better speaking with girls as well BUT do not make that as a measure of your confidence either way...
Also, play a sport; this is known to boost your self-esteem by working on your mind by keeping the body in a better shape.
Eventually as you grow older, there will be more opportunities to interact with girls; why worry so much about it now? Enjoy the teen years; they don't come back, you know!

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are facing is very common. The first step is to remember that you are not alone. Even the best of us face it. Second, have you tried dating apps? There is no speaking face to face, which substantially helps with the nervousness. You can chat with people for days before you even decide to meet them in person. You can also attract the people who can perfectly match your vibe, making it easier for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed with them.

Other than that, here are few tips you can try-

Start small. Start with small talks. You don't need to have a full blown conversation in the very first attempt. Say Hi, smile, or ask her about her day. If you feel shy to speak, master the art of listening. Women love a man who can actively listen. Third, be genuine and be yourself. The more you pretend to impress a girl, the trickier it can be to keep up the act. Moreover, you will be preoccupied with your pretense and won't focus on the quality of the conversation. Be you. Fourth, learn from your experience. Good or bad, experiences can teach us a lot. Reflect on the past conversations; the ones that went well and ones that didn't. Identify what worked and what needs improvement. And lastly, be patient. Building confidence can take a while. Not all of us are naturally blessed with it. Some of us have to work for it. But in the end, it will be worth your while.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Do it gradually. You'll get comfortable with it. There's anything special about making eye contact with people

Ans: Dear therinthu,

First of all, it's important to understand that the lockdown affected every one of us in some way or the other. Yours is a more complex mix of emotional and marital problems. Covid has left a lot of us with heightened anxiety issues and that is what might be troubling you as well. Understand that it isn't uncommon and it can be sorted with a little bit of practice. Try practicing eye contact in a less stressful situation, like with a close friend. Maintain eye contact for over five seconds, ten seconds, and so on. You can also practice in front of a mirror. When interacting with someone, focus on the conversation; focus on listening instead of thinking how you are coming off. It will take off the pressure of eye contact and reduce your anxiety.

Your marital issues might be adding to the anxiety. Try having an honest discussion with your wife. Address your problems and offer to see a marriage counselor to work on them. Individual therapies can also work. Seeking the help of a trained professional can benefit your marriage.

The pandemic has been tough on us all. Be kind to yourself.

Best Wishes.