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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |399 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I have a problem speaking with women, I can't directly look into them eye eye contact and talk. How do I overcome this, I don't want this. I am 35 years.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You might think you are alone with such an issue, but more people than you know go through the same. It is great that you addressed it and are putting real effort into changing it. How about you start by practicing in low-pressure situations? For instance, practice eye contact with friends or family. Hold brief but intentional eye contact during conversations. Initially, you might feel uneasy, but gradually it will get better. Also, I suggest you consider seeking support from a therapist. Maybe it's a very trivial communication issue right now, but the more you wait, the worse it might get.

Again, remember you are not alone in this. It happens to the best of us.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |399 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am 27 M. I am a introverted person but not that much I love meeting new people, party, travelling etc. But Whenever I try to talk with any girl I forgot everything that I want to express and also feels bit nervous and shy. So many thoughts are in my mind but I am unable to express that in front of others, I simply forgot. How can I improve my communication skills with other girls and feel confident about myself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are facing is very common. The first step is to remember that you are not alone. Even the best of us face it. Second, have you tried dating apps? There is no speaking face to face, which substantially helps with the nervousness. You can chat with people for days before you even decide to meet them in person. You can also attract the people who can perfectly match your vibe, making it easier for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed with them.

Other than that, here are few tips you can try-

Start small. Start with small talks. You don't need to have a full blown conversation in the very first attempt. Say Hi, smile, or ask her about her day. If you feel shy to speak, master the art of listening. Women love a man who can actively listen. Third, be genuine and be yourself. The more you pretend to impress a girl, the trickier it can be to keep up the act. Moreover, you will be preoccupied with your pretense and won't focus on the quality of the conversation. Be you. Fourth, learn from your experience. Good or bad, experiences can teach us a lot. Reflect on the past conversations; the ones that went well and ones that didn't. Identify what worked and what needs improvement. And lastly, be patient. Building confidence can take a while. Not all of us are naturally blessed with it. Some of us have to work for it. But in the end, it will be worth your while.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |399 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 20, 2024

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Relationship
I am 40 year old man. Having psychological problems after coronavirus shutdown .Problem is that I am not able to talk to others looking at their eyes..even If i try to , it's just for few seconds and eyes starts to wander..to stop that , nowadays If I sense that my eyes going off contact, I look at somewhere and talk..I am feeling very guilt and making very discomfort to others or at least I think they feel discomfort .. While talking to woman, mainly making sure I should not look at theirs.. I am married and my sexual relationship is not great..every time its like forceful because my wife never shows interest and I stopped it. searching for some other options to fulfill my desire .I think this also contributes to my problem.. please advise how do I overcome my problem and be confident while talking to others.
Ans: Dear therinthu,

First of all, it's important to understand that the lockdown affected every one of us in some way or the other. Yours is a more complex mix of emotional and marital problems. Covid has left a lot of us with heightened anxiety issues and that is what might be troubling you as well. Understand that it isn't uncommon and it can be sorted with a little bit of practice. Try practicing eye contact in a less stressful situation, like with a close friend. Maintain eye contact for over five seconds, ten seconds, and so on. You can also practice in front of a mirror. When interacting with someone, focus on the conversation; focus on listening instead of thinking how you are coming off. It will take off the pressure of eye contact and reduce your anxiety.

Your marital issues might be adding to the anxiety. Try having an honest discussion with your wife. Address your problems and offer to see a marriage counselor to work on them. Individual therapies can also work. Seeking the help of a trained professional can benefit your marriage.

The pandemic has been tough on us all. Be kind to yourself.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |392 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Maam/Sir, A married guy is constantly giving me much attention. Im.tried to ignore him but he is constantly making appearance from different places. I dont what his real intentions are but because of his constant staring and public apearances. I feel difficult to overlook his behaviour. He is currently gone to his hometowm. So, there is lots of peace. Im not sure why is he trying to get a glimpse of me as he is already happily married n have a son. I need advice to ignore him so that I focus on my husband only.
Ans: The key to redirecting your focus lies in setting boundaries—both mentally and behaviorally. Often, people respond to subtle cues, so maintaining a neutral and reserved demeanor can help communicate disinterest. If he attempts to engage directly, keeping interactions brief and polite without encouraging deeper conversation will likely make your boundaries clear without causing conflict. When he’s present, avoid returning his gaze; this can subtly communicate that you’re not reciprocating his interest.

If this continues, grounding yourself in thoughts about your husband and what you value in your relationship can help you mentally reinforce where your focus truly lies. Remind yourself that someone else’s behavior is not your responsibility and that your own actions, comfort, and peace are within your control. By reinforcing your own values and commitments, you’ll feel more empowered to maintain your focus where you want it—on your husband and your well-being.

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |36 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am a 45 year old IT professional with following saving/investment as of now: 30 lacs: EPF 30 lacs: PPF 30 lacs: FD 10 lacs: NPS NOTE: 1. I have monthly expenditure of 50k 2. Additionally, NPS requires 12k monthly investment 3. No liabilities and no loan 4. Staying in own house. Queries: 1. I am planning to retire in next 1-2 years. Pls suggest best way to invest above money. 2. Also, I have gold of worth 25 lacs, so should I keep that with me or instead sell it now and invest money elsewhere?
Ans: Dear Friend,
At 45, retiring at 2 years is 47, with an expense of 50K per month plus 12K per month NPS needs 62K per month. Considering a life expectancy of 77, you need funds for the next 30 years. Not considering medical or any other emergency expenses, you also need 2.25 cr in expenses in the next 30 years. Hence, you can consider rearranging the finances as below.
PPF (?30 Lakhs Total): Continue these as they offer tax-free, secure returns. During retirement, you can withdraw in tranches to maintain liquidity. Keep it as you find financial security; do not touch it, and let it grow.
As you declare retirement at 47, you have EPF (?30 Lakhs Total) and Fixed Deposit (?30 Lakhs). You can withdraw this amount and invest it in Balanced or index MF funds, which offer yearly 12% to 14% average returns. You can also start SWP from this.
NPS is a good retirement investment, but there are many restrictions on premature withdrawals. If you retire at 47, you will not get a withdrawal until age 60 for 60% of the amount, and the balance 40% will be converted to pension after age 60. You can withdraw 60% of the amount from the balance 6 years older for premature withdrawal. If your finances permit, continue investing after retirement.
Gold can be a good hedge against inflation. Gold returns an average of 8 to 10% return on an average. However, if you don't have an emotional attachment or strategic reason to hold it, consider selling and reinvesting in diversified assets like balanced mutual funds or a senior citizen savings scheme for higher returns.
Overall, at 47, you need about 1 cr in your MF for expenses after retirement with 50K PM.
With the amount you have mentioned, you can live a decent life without any frills. My suggestion is that you increase your corpus to fulfill all your life's needs other than your monthly expenses.
Regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |36 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Money
Sir i am chitra, i have 30lk credit dueto my family circumstances. All jewell loans, i want close, i have a capability to repay upto 20000/- per month. My salary 25000/- lecturer, i earn extra income 10000/- my sister ask me to help to repay loan. But since i am a guest faculty 15 in college, i have no option to give my salary slip. How camn i get 30lk loan. Any help.
Ans: Here are a few approaches to consider for managing and potentially restructuring your loan obligations: You can Explore Gold Loan Refinance, If your existing ?30 lakh debt is mostly gold loans, you may consider refinancing the loan through a different lender, like a bank or NBFC, which could offer a better interest rate or longer repayment term. For refinancing options, it’s worth checking lenders like SBI, HDFC, or even gold loan providers like Muthoot or Manappuram, as they might not require strict documentation. You can also try to Negotiate with the Lender for Extended Tenure**: If possible, talk to your lender about extending the tenure of your existing gold loan. This would reduce the monthly EMI and allow you to use the freed-up amount to pay off the debt gradually without taking on more loans. Another approach can be to Consolidate Loans with a Gold Loan Top-Up, Since your assets are in gold, a top-up loan on your gold may be easier than getting a new personal loan.
Given that your income and commitment to paying off your debts, a combination of gold loan refinance, top-up, or consolidation might provide a practical path forward. Ensure you review interest rates carefully to avoid additional financial strain
Regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
Money
I’m Rajiv from Udaipur. I’m 38 with one son, aged 5. We’re planning to save for our child’s education and our own retirement. Should we invest more in equity mutual funds, or should I look into fixed-income options to balance the risks?
Ans: You’re already thinking wisely about your child’s education and your retirement. This focus sets a solid foundation for financial security. Saving for both these goals needs a careful balance of growth and safety. Let’s examine where equity mutual funds and fixed-income options fit within these plans.

Importance of Equity Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth
Equity mutual funds are essential for long-term financial goals, especially given inflation's impact on education costs and retirement. Here’s why:

Growth Potential: Equity funds have historically delivered strong returns over time, which can help you build a substantial corpus. This is especially useful for goals with a longer horizon, like your child’s higher education and your retirement.

Power of Compounding: As you continue investing regularly, the compounding effect amplifies returns, giving your investments a significant boost. This can be critical when saving for expenses expected to rise, such as education costs.

Tax Benefits: Equity mutual funds offer tax benefits. For long-term capital gains (LTCG), the first Rs 1.25 lakh is tax-free, and the rest is taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. These benefits can contribute positively to your overall returns, especially in the long run.

Why Avoid Index Funds in This Strategy?
Though index funds are popular, actively managed funds may be better in your case for specific reasons:

Active Management Advantage: Actively managed equity mutual funds involve professional fund managers making strategic decisions, which can outperform the broader market index during volatility.

Flexibility in Market Conditions: In fluctuating markets, fund managers can adjust portfolios. This dynamic approach can help you manage risks and achieve better results, especially for long-term goals like education and retirement.

So, while index funds may seem appealing, actively managed funds provide professional guidance and potential for higher returns over time.

Benefits of Fixed-Income Options for Stability
Fixed-income investments serve as a safety cushion in any financial portfolio. They can add stability to your investment mix and provide regular income, which might be especially useful as you approach retirement.

Low-Risk Returns: Fixed-income options generally offer lower but safer returns compared to equities. This can protect part of your corpus against market volatility, reducing risk for essential goals.

Capital Preservation: Fixed-income investments are excellent for capital preservation. As you near retirement, they can provide steady returns while preserving your initial investment.

Liquidity Needs: Some fixed-income options offer liquidity, which could be helpful for short-term financial needs without disturbing your core investments in equity funds.

While fixed-income investments don’t match equity funds’ growth potential, they serve a key role in risk reduction.

Regular vs. Direct Funds: Why Go with Regular Funds Through a CFP?
Some investors consider direct funds for potentially lower fees, but regular funds through a certified financial planner (CFP) offer distinct benefits:

Professional Guidance: Regular funds allow you to work with a CFP. They bring years of expertise to help you manage funds effectively, especially in a fluctuating market.

Simplified Process: Investing through a CFP can be simpler, especially if you’re not deeply familiar with the investment landscape. This guidance can be critical for meeting specific goals, like saving for your child’s education.

Holistic Planning: Working with a CFP offers a more comprehensive approach, with advice that adapts to changing market conditions and your unique goals.

Direct funds can seem attractive for cost savings, but regular funds provide a professionally managed route, which can be beneficial for your long-term goals.

Evaluating Equity and Fixed-Income Allocation
Balancing equity and fixed-income investments can help you achieve your goals while managing risk.

For Education: Consider allocating more toward equity funds since you have a medium-to-long-term horizon. This can help grow your corpus to meet the rising costs of education.

For Retirement: Start with a higher equity allocation in the initial years to maximise growth. Gradually increase your allocation to fixed-income investments as you near retirement, creating a steady income stream.

This diversified approach combines growth potential with the stability needed to safeguard your retirement savings.

Making the Most of SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans)
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) are powerful for building wealth gradually, especially in equity mutual funds. They’re ideal for disciplined savings and work well for long-term goals.

Market Volatility Benefit: SIPs help you avoid timing the market. By investing at regular intervals, you buy more units during market dips, potentially increasing returns over time.

Easy to Budget: SIPs allow for regular, budget-friendly investments. This approach is manageable while supporting consistent savings for your child’s education and retirement.

SIPs are particularly beneficial when paired with equity mutual funds for long-term goals.

Taxation Insights
Understanding the tax implications of your investments is essential, as it affects net returns.

Equity Funds: For equity mutual funds, LTCG exceeding Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%, while STCG is taxed at 20%. Tax-efficiency is one of the reasons to include equity funds in your portfolio.

Fixed-Income Investments: Gains on debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab, both for short and long-term gains. Fixed-income options offer stability but come with different tax rules, so they should be balanced within your portfolio.

Balancing equity and fixed-income investments with awareness of tax implications helps you maximise your overall returns while keeping tax liabilities under control.

Flexibility in Financial Planning
Life goals and circumstances evolve. Flexibility is key in adapting your financial plan over time.

Review Regularly: Re-evaluate your investment strategy at least annually to check if it aligns with your goals. This ensures your portfolio stays on track for both education and retirement needs.

Adapt Allocation: Gradually shift to safer investments as you near retirement. This shift reduces exposure to volatility and protects your accumulated wealth.

Adapting your plan keeps it relevant and aligned with your changing life needs.

Final Insights
Balancing equity and fixed-income investments allows you to achieve growth and stability for your financial goals. Equity mutual funds support long-term growth, ideal for education and retirement. Fixed-income options add stability, reducing risk as you move closer to retirement.

By using SIPs and working with a CFP through regular funds, you gain access to professional management. This approach simplifies the investment journey and ensures your portfolio stays aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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