Feeling Guilty for Avoiding Eye Contact - 40-Year-Old Man Seeks Advice

Ans: Dear therinthu,

First of all, it's important to understand that the lockdown affected every one of us in some way or the other. Yours is a more complex mix of emotional and marital problems. Covid has left a lot of us with heightened anxiety issues and that is what might be troubling you as well. Understand that it isn't uncommon and it can be sorted with a little bit of practice. Try practicing eye contact in a less stressful situation, like with a close friend. Maintain eye contact for over five seconds, ten seconds, and so on. You can also practice in front of a mirror. When interacting with someone, focus on the conversation; focus on listening instead of thinking how you are coming off. It will take off the pressure of eye contact and reduce your anxiety.

Your marital issues might be adding to the anxiety. Try having an honest discussion with your wife. Address your problems and offer to see a marriage counselor to work on them. Individual therapies can also work. Seeking the help of a trained professional can benefit your marriage.

The pandemic has been tough on us all. Be kind to yourself.

Best Wishes.