Home > Relationship > Question

Sign In | Create an account

Language:

Now in हिन्दी too

Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Feeling Guilty for Avoiding Eye Contact - 40-Year-Old Man Seeks Advice

Ravi Mittal |602 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 20, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Question by therinthu on Aug 19, 2024Hindi

Listen

Relationship

I am 40 year old man. Having psychological problems after coronavirus shutdown .Problem is that I am not able to talk to others looking at their eyes..even If i try to , it's just for few seconds and eyes starts to wander..to stop that , nowadays If I sense that my eyes going off contact, I look at somewhere and talk..I am feeling very guilt and making very discomfort to others or at least I think they feel discomfort .. While talking to woman, mainly making sure I should not look at theirs.. I am married and my sexual relationship is not great..every time its like forceful because my wife never shows interest and I stopped it. searching for some other options to fulfill my desire .I think this also contributes to my problem.. please advise how do I overcome my problem and be confident while talking to others.

Ans: Dear therinthu,

First of all, it's important to understand that the lockdown affected every one of us in some way or the other. Yours is a more complex mix of emotional and marital problems. Covid has left a lot of us with heightened anxiety issues and that is what might be troubling you as well. Understand that it isn't uncommon and it can be sorted with a little bit of practice. Try practicing eye contact in a less stressful situation, like with a close friend. Maintain eye contact for over five seconds, ten seconds, and so on. You can also practice in front of a mirror. When interacting with someone, focus on the conversation; focus on listening instead of thinking how you are coming off. It will take off the pressure of eye contact and reduce your anxiety.

Your marital issues might be adding to the anxiety. Try having an honest discussion with your wife. Address your problems and offer to see a marriage counselor to work on them. Individual therapies can also work. Seeking the help of a trained professional can benefit your marriage.

The pandemic has been tough on us all. Be kind to yourself.

Best Wishes.

RelationshipReply

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi Mittal |602 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2023Hindi

Listen

Relationship

I have a problem speaking with women, I can't directly look into them eye eye contact and talk. How do I overcome this, I don't want this. I am 35 years.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You might think you are alone with such an issue, but more people than you know go through the same. It is great that you addressed it and are putting real effort into changing it. How about you start by practicing in low-pressure situations? For instance, practice eye contact with friends or family. Hold brief but intentional eye contact during conversations. Initially, you might feel uneasy, but gradually it will get better. Also, I suggest you consider seeking support from a therapist. Maybe it's a very trivial communication issue right now, but the more you wait, the worse it might get.

Again, remember you are not alone in this. It happens to the best of us.

Best Wishes!

Ravi Mittal |602 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2023Hindi

Listen

Relationship

I am really afraid of speaking within group of people. And it is an occasion like I have to speak about a person or occasion etc I get terrified and nothing comes out of mind and I can't speak. How do I overcome this and I went to visit some doctor to get rectified please suggest me some clinics. I am 35 years old.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it is when you cannot speak in a group but it is very common too. It is possible that you have social anxiety which is causing this fear of public speaking. Please consider seeking guidance from a therapist who can give you more structured and targeted support. Apart from that, you might want to join some public speaking groups where you can practice in a more supportive environment first and also receive constructive feedback on how to improve your oratory skills.

These small but effective steps can empower you to gradually gain confidence and overcome the challenges you face in public speaking.

Best Wishes.

Mohit Arora | Answer |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi

Listen

Relationship

Hello, I have issues with making eye contact with girls, and strangers, when I roam around, I tend to just look at others, when they make ey contact with me I stopaking eye contact, what does this mean?

Ans: Do it gradually. You'll get comfortable with it. There's anything special about making eye contact with people

Latest Questions

Dr Nagarajan J S K |1147 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Question by megha - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Career

Hi I was alloted EE in rru . I am very confused about whether I should take the seat or not beacause they are calling for in person documents verification how is the hostel? Placements? Mess? Campus life ? Etc and I live in assam and wanted to know if its worth it Please guys reply as it is urgent since they are calling for admission within these 7 days

Ans: Hi Mega,
Please understand that based solely on your application, they have requested you to bring all your testimonials. Before applying, you should have asked the questions you mentioned. If you are not interested, someone else will benefit; if you are interested, please allow room for others.

If a stranger gives a wrong review, how will you handle that? Every person's experience is different. What is your goal—are you trying to match the course or not?

**Hostel:** Construct a house there, and then you can join the course.
**Mess:** Consider taking your mom with you so you won’t face any issues (though you might still eat unpleasant food outside).
**Placement:** Without learning the essential skills, you will not get a job. Instead, someone else may appear more qualified and secure the position.

You haven’t shared much about yourself. Are you a disciplined student? Do you have any bad habits? Do you actively participate in sports? How many hours do you spend on your education? How many hours do you spend on social media?

If the answers are not favorable, then follow this simple routine: Eat, sleep, and repeat. Enjoy life. That’s a nice solution I have provided.

DO PARTICIPATE IN THE YOGA CAMPAIGN.

YOGA FOR ONE EARTH, ONE HEALTH.

Dr Nagarajan J S K |1147 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2025Hindi

Career

I am 12th pass student with PCB. I just tried for NEET after completion of 12th exam. As I got only one month of preparation for NEET still i qualify but could make upto mark to get govt seat. Now I wish to take partial drop and want to join any college in biotechnology or zoology or botany. I am not good in Chemistry and physics. But still I want to choose the subject which will help me in preparing NEET 2026.

Ans: You have chosen the wrong course after 12th grade if you are not strong in the subject. Please share your 12th-grade marks. If you want to take a drop to prepare for NEET or pursue a degree, I'm not certain. However, if you decide to take a gap year, focus on preparing for NEET instead of selecting an undergraduate course. If you feel pressured by your parents to pursue a degree, then select Chemistry or Physics as your major with either Physics or Chemistry as an ancillary subject. This will help you in completing NEET.

DO PARTICIPATE IN THE YOGA CAMPAIGN.

YOGA FOR ONE EARTH, ONE HEALTH.

Dr Nagarajan J S K |1147 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir ...which medical education is better Russia or Georgia

Ans: Instead of studying medicine abroad, it might be better to pursue it in India. You will still need to qualify for NEET to study medicine abroad. Put in a little more effort to secure admission in private colleges. Regulations are constantly changing, so this may be the wiser choice.

DO PARTICIPATE IN THE YOGA CAMPAIGN.

YOGA FOR ONE EARTH, ONE HEALTH.

Dr Nagarajan J S K |1147 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Question by Mamata - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Career

In ojee counselling 2025, which rank will be considered (AIR or category) ?

Ans: HI MAMATA,
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW STAT?

DO PARTICIPATE IN THE YOGA CAMPAIGN.

YOGA FOR ONE EARTH, ONE HEALTH.

Dr Nagarajan J S K |1147 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Question by Rupesh - Jun 21, 2025Hindi

Career

Hi sir Kindly prioritize the fwg for my son 1. VIT VELLORE CSC CAT 5 2. PES BANGALORE AIML 3 MANIPAL CSC 4 MANIPAL BANGALORE CSC 5 RAMMAIHA CSC BANGALORE 6 RV BANGALORE ECM

Ans: HI RUPESH,
CSC (covers AI/ML), MANIPAL.

DO PARTICIPATE IN THE YOGA CAMPAIGN.

YOGA FOR ONE EARTH, ONE HEALTH.

Dr Nagarajan J S K |1147 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Career

What do you advise choosing when it comes to MMC/ stanley medical colleges vs JIPMER KARAIKAL?

Ans: HI JIPMER.

DO PARTICIPATE IN THE YOGA CAMPAIGN.
YOGA FOR ONE EARTH, ONE HEALTH.

Dr Nagarajan J S K |1147 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Question by Muskan - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Career

Hlo sir neet 2025 me meri beti ne 12th ke sath neet me 265 score kiya hai kya drop lena sahi rahega?

Ans: HI Muskan,
YES, To achieve the goal.
DO PARTICIPATE IN THE YOGA CAMPAIGN.
YOGA FOR ONE EARTH, ONE HEALTH.

Dr Nagarajan J S K |1147 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello sir my rank in neet is 500000 so i got a bhms seat in Odisha?

Ans: HI,
SHARE THE CATEGORY AND GENDER DETAILS.

Do participate in the Yoga campaign.

Chocko Valliappa |514 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Entrepreneur, Educationist - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Question by Madhu - Jun 18, 2025Hindi

Career

Hi sir, my daughter got Manipal BTech Mechanic al dual degree in the first round, dows the dual degree in mech hold any value in future? Is ot worth pursuing ? She is looking for MTech in aeronautical engineering. Do you think its good to go for fulltime 4yrs Mechanical from Manipal campus. Unable to decide on this. Pls suggest. Thank you.

Ans: Hi Madhu, Congrats on your daughter getting admission in Manipal College. On how to pick the branch, course and institute I encourage her to read my article in the Rediff at https://bit.ly/4cZ1pA7. All the best!

Chocko Valliappa |514 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Entrepreneur, Educationist - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello sir Should i join CS and IT in SOA ITER?

Ans: On how to pick the branch, course and institute I encourage you to read my article in the Rediff at https://bit.ly/4cZ1pA7. All the best!

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Video Reply
Audio Reply

WhatsApp
Facebook
Twitter
Copy link

Delete

Close

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus

Sign up

email

uname

mobile no

Country Code

Mobile number

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

LOGIN

x