Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am finding it hard to talk with strangers/random people whom I've known in the past but not in contact for a while and finding it hard to recognize some which makes them feel awkward. What should I do, are there exercises I could do/should I accept that about me, maybe be upfront about it but that will be awkward too? Age 24

Ans: It's entirely normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when reconnecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a while or struggling to recognize them. Here are some tips that might help you navigate these situations more comfortably:

Focus on listening attentively to what the other person is saying rather than worrying about recognizing them or feeling awkward. Engage in the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences.
If you're struggling to remember someone's name or recognize them, it's okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, it's been a while since we last met, and I'm having trouble placing you. Could you remind me of your name?" Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Try to recall any shared experiences or details that might help jog your memory about the person you're reconnecting with. Ask about mutual friends, past events, or shared interests to facilitate the conversation.
Stay present in the moment and focus on the conversation rather than letting your mind wander or dwell on feelings of awkwardness. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you stay centered and calm.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and be open to reconnecting with old acquaintances. Remember that it's natural for people to change and evolve over time, and your past interactions may have shaped who they are today.
It's okay to make mistakes or feel uncomfortable in social situations. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone experiences moments of awkwardness from time to time. Focus on learning and growing from each interaction rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
If you're feeling particularly anxious about reconnecting with people, consider practicing social skills in low-pressure situations. Role-play conversations with a friend or family member, or join social groups or activities where you can gradually build confidence in interacting with others.
Remember that social interactions can be challenging for many people, and you're not alone in feeling this way. By approaching these situations with patience, honesty, and a willingness to learn, you can navigate them more comfortably over time.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I'm 39 years old. Ever since my childhood, I was always afraid of facing people. Was reading in front of class or reciting a poem, I always felt running away and avoiding it. The problem further worsened as I grew up, as I started feeling difficult making friends. I get a feeling that people don't like me, and it’s evident whenever I'm part of a gathering usually peopleignore me. Hence I tend to avoid interacting with people. I don't know how to handle this situation. I don't have this issue while interacting with people whom I know, and am pretty confident with familiar people whom I interact with on day to day basis. In front of people, or when I put on a spot I really feel awkward and anxious. The thought keeps on bothering me and I don't get sleep at times. Please provide me suggestions/inputs on how I can get rid of this problem.
Ans: Dear S, You face what is called performance related stress as you are worried about failure and being embarrassed in front of a crowd.

Firstly, know why you are having to be in front of a crowd; office presentations, meetings and thinks like that. If it is necessary for your job and in life in general, let’s work at this.

Start watching videos of people who are orators, great speakers and who enthrall others on stage

Next, observe every movement of theirs and how they walk, talk, their voice etc.

Then, simply take on the same role imagining yourself to be them and do the same. Live this role. Try doing this many times over till it becomes second nature to you.

Finally, imagine a situation where you want to feel confident. And imagine doing your new learning from Step 3 and living it. Do this a couple of times till you think you are ready.

The next time, with the same situation, things should definitely go your way and you will be in charge for sure.

Be confident and happy new learning!

Anu Krishna is a Mind Coach, NLP Trainer, Zen Lifestyle Expert and has recently released her book The Secret of Life – Decoding Happiness.
She is also the Founder of Soulful Exploration LLP and Unfear Changemakers LLP.

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
hi , I am a 40 year old man with 2 kids and wife , aged parents .Financially and health wise i am doing good and working in a reputed mnc. My relationship with parents , wife ,kids and siblings is in good spirits . however i am an introvert and don't have many friends .while i had friends in childhood and youth however they have moved in there life .i want to have an improved social life and also have joined a course to improve social skills and more strong relationship socially and at work . As course suggest to approach people , however i still don't approach/talk to people when opportunity is there .i also tried to have more positive attitude towards other people ..however still sometimes i start criticizing them in my mind...and sometimes i feel that approaching /talking may belittle me in front of them,,,, and talking /approaching opposite sex is even more difficult ... any suggestion to improve on this part and how i can improve my social life and get/find company of like minded people .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Two things to understand here:
1. You are an introvert and you are happy being one
2. You are a forced introvert as you are unable to break the walls that you have put around you.

If you belong to the first category, enjoy the state of bliss as is. But from what I gather, you seem to falling under the second category wherein you want to expand your social circle and be a part of activities etc.
Then you have to put yourself out there.
1. Do understand that as much you want to be engaged with like-minded people, even these people will at some point in time think different from you.
2. Do accept people for who they are and that way you will come from a non-judgemental space while engaging with them.
3. Do connect with people who are totally different from you and it will help you expand your mind to be curious about them.

If this is a difficult thing to do...think....What if one of your children came to you with the same problem that you have now? What would you tell them to do?
Also, get into circles on social media that discuss topics which interest you. Join a gym or a hobby class and that is an avenue to make new friends irrespective of gender.
To add more friends, you need to be friendly as well...so open your heart and mind...

All the best!
(more)
Ashwini

Ashwini Dasgupta  |65 Answers  |Ask -

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Sep 25, 2023

Listen
Career
Presently I am working as a General Manager Purchase and my age is 44, I find difficult in speaking without any agenda/specific question. Even in informal dinners or just casual talks I become blank. This is same in my personal life also. Like introvert type, but this is taking a toll on my professional as well as personal. I try very hard to be fluent with people but I am not able to do it. If somebody speaks 20 line and I convey the same in 1 line. But it is boring for others. How do I improve it.... like storytelling type.
Ans: Dear Balaji,

Thank you for writing in.

First of all, stop labelling yourself (like you have mentioned in the above question "I am an Introvert type"). As humans our brains are wired to believe what information we feed to ourselves.

Second, acceptance. Accepting the way, you are. That is your strength.

Certain steps that can be considered -
- Know the agenda you are entering into. This will help you prepare in advance on the conversations you need to engage in.
If there are no agendas then you can -
- Initiate small talks. For example- talk about current affairs in the industry (avoid talking about religion or politics) as this can get sensitive. Conversation should be general in nature. This will help you break the ice with the individual.
- Asking open ended questions- such questions help you encourage others to share more information. Instead of asking yes/no questions, ask questions that require a more detailed response, such as "What was that experience like for you?" or "Tell me more about..."
- Focus on your observation- Observe your surroundings and what's happening in the environment. You can use these observations as conversation starters. For example, if you're at a restaurant, you can comment on the decor, the food, or the atmosphere.
- Share Personal Stories- Personal anecdotes can make your conversations more relatable and engaging.
-Use Body Language- Your body language can enhance your communication. Maintain eye contact, use gestures to emphasize points, and smile when appropriate to convey warmth and engagement.
-Don’t hesitate to seek for professional help- If you feel that your difficulty in engaging in conversations is causing significant distress or impacting your personal and professional life, consider seeking professional help. This should help you navigate with the tips and tricks.

Hope this helps.

All the best

Ashwini Dasgupta
To your Success. Be You. Be Confident
Author of Confidence Decoded- Is it a Skill or Attitude?
(more)
Latest Questions
Moneywize

Moneywize   |98 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I want to purchase auto insurance for my Maruti Ertiga which I purchased two years ago. Which auto insurance policy will best look after my interests in the event of an accident which could lead to fatalities or lead me permanently disabled? I want to choose an auto insurance policy that will take care of hospitalisation as well as permanent disability.
Ans: In the unfortunate event of an accident with your Maruti Ertiga, a comprehensive car insurance policy will best serve your interests. Here's why:

Comprehensive Coverage:

• Third-party Liability: This is mandatory by law and covers any injuries or property damage caused to a third party due to an accident involving your car.
• Own Damage Cover: This protects your Maruti Ertiga from damages caused by accidents, theft, fire, natural calamities, etc.

Additional Coverage for Permanent Disability and Hospitalisation:

• Personal Accident (PA) Cover for Owner-Driver and Passengers: This add-on provides a lump sum payout in case of death or permanent disability due to an accident. You can extend this cover to include your passengers as well.
• Medical Expenses Cover: This add-on reimburses hospitalisation expenses incurred due to injuries sustained in an accident.

Here's what to consider when choosing an insurance provider:

• Claim Settlement Ratio (CSR): Look for insurers with a high CSR, which indicates a good record of settling claims promptly.
• Network Garages: Opt for an insurer with a wide network of cashless garages for repairs to ensure a hassle-free experience.
• Customer Service: Choose a company known for providing prompt and helpful customer service.

Popular Car Insurance Providers in India:

• Acko General Insurance
• HDFC Ergo
• The Oriental Insurance Company
• National Insurance Company
• Bajaj Allianz General Insurance

Researching and Comparing Policies

• Use online insurance aggregator websites to compare quotes from different providers. These websites allow you to input details about your Maruti Ertiga, your driving history, and desired coverage options. They will then provide you with quotes from various insurers, allowing you to compare prices and features.

Consulting a Financial Advisor

• Consider consulting a financial advisor who can help you assess your specific needs and recommend the most suitable car insurance policy for your Maruti Ertiga.
(more)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x