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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 19, 2024
Relationship

Is it possible to have love, affection and liking for someone without romance, specifically when the one claiming the absence of spark has experienced it with someone else in the past. Won't it affect the future of a relationship ? If someone says to me that he/she feels love, affection and respect..and feels that we are compatible in every other aspect except the romance thing.. should I proceed with this ?

Ans: It's absolutely possible to have love, affection, and deep emotional connection with someone without the element of romance, and many people have successful, meaningful relationships based on these qualities. However, if romance is important to you and the person you’re with has experienced it before but doesn't feel it with you, that can be a complex issue to navigate.

In relationships, love can take many forms, but if one partner feels a lack of romantic "spark" while the other values it, that difference could eventually become a source of dissatisfaction or frustration. Romance often plays a key role in fostering emotional intimacy, passion, and physical connection, and without it, the relationship might start to feel more like a friendship or partnership over time.

If your partner has explicitly said that they don’t feel romantic attraction, it's important to reflect on your own needs. Are you okay with having a relationship based more on affection, compatibility, and respect, even if romance and passion are missing? Will this be enough for you in the long term?

While love and compatibility are essential, romance is also a key ingredient for many couples. If it's something you value, you might eventually feel unfulfilled without it. It's worth having an honest conversation about how both of you envision the relationship in the future. Ask yourself: Can I be happy and satisfied without a romantic connection, or is this a fundamental need for me?

If the absence of romance already feels like a compromise, it might affect the future of the relationship. But if you’re both able to communicate openly and align on what you need from each other, it's possible to move forward in a way that honors both of your feelings.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Rishta

Rishta Guru  | Answer  |Ask -

Rishta Guru - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We have been married for two years and in loving relationship before that for two years. My problem is that the love has changed. My husband is no longer the same kind of romantic person. He loves me, he says I love you but the romance is missing. We both work and when we reach home all kinds of practical talks only happens. He is thoughtful, shares the housework, looks after all my needs but I really miss the romantic part that was there earlier and sometimes it makes me irritated and rude. I have tried telling him but he says love changes with time, we are married now and responsible for ourselves. My sister thinks I am being silly but I don’t agree. Why should we have to give up romance? Isn’t it an important part of our life?
Ans: Hi. I understand your frustration. It's completely natural to miss the early stage of romantic intensity in a long-term relationship.

And you're right, romance is an important part of a healthy marriage. It's perfectly valid to want to reignite that spark.

Here are some steps you can take to help your husband understand your concerns:

Communicate effectively

Focus on feelings, not accusations: Instead of saying "You're not romantic anymore!", share how his lack of romantic gestures makes you feel -- unloved, unappreciated, disconnected, unhappy, lonely, ...

Use "I" statements: Express your desire for more romance using phrases like "I would really appreciate it if...." or "I miss when we used to...." so that he does not feel he has to defend himself.

Actively listen to his perspective: Try to understand why he sees things differently. Perhaps work stress is affecting him or he does not know how to express his love differently.

Choose the right time and place: Avoid bringing it up when you're both tired or stressed. Pick a calm moment for a sincere conversation.

Brainstorm together

Instead of demanding specific gestures, discuss what "romance" means to both of you and brainstorm different ways he can express his love that resonate with you.

Schedule "romance time"

Block out dedicated time for romantic activities, even if it's just 30 minutes a week. Take turns planning dates, trying new things or revisiting activities you enjoyed earlier.

Acknowledge his efforts

Appreciate his non-romantic actions that show he cares, like sharing housework. Let him know these actions contribute to your overall feeling of love and security.

Consider professional help

If communication becomes difficult or you struggle to find common ground, consider seeking couples therapy. A therapist can provide a safe space for you both to express your needs and work towards solutions.

You’d get professional help when you are unwell or to file your taxes for example. Why not try it here as well if needed?

Remember:

Love evolves: While the initial passion may change, a deep and meaningful love can grow stronger over time. Focus on nurturing that deeper connection alongside rekindling romantic gestures.

It's a two-way street: Be willing to put in effort as well. Show your appreciation for him, plan romantic gestures for him and be open to his ideas for expressing love.

Be patient: Rebuilding romance takes time and consistent effort. Celebrate small victories and focus on the progress you make together.

Your sister might not fully understand your perspective but your feelings are valid. Don't give up on the romance; instead, find new ways to keep it alive in your marriage.

All the best.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello. I am dating someone from almost 4 years. During those years, our relationship has grown to the extent that we know we are pretty much compatible in aspects such as values, friendship, vulnerability, understanding and support. But one or two factors have always been a hurdle in commitment for a marriage which he himself consider as superficial but is not able to completely let go of. So, he suggests that we can compromise on those factors, and focus on other positives. The problem is that he feels that we don't have that romantic spark and chemistry which he had imagined. But he is ready to settle on that, and thus, I also shouldn't expect his 100 percent response in romance. I don't know how to take this statement. I never felt that missing part; I never asked for grand romantic gestures. I did complain sometimes about basic expressions of romance. I feel his approach as if it is some sort of calculation with no instinctive feeling. And how do I not take this comment as personal.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can skim over aspects that are superficial but how do you turn a blind eye when it's about romance and chemistry. Isn't that one of the major aspects?
I would suggest that the two of you talk this over and let not either of you compromise over this. Because once you do, it's bound to come out in bigger ways later in the relationship. Of course, it does come across as a personal comment and he is possibly trying to cover it up by saying that he is ready to settle. NO! It's not a favor, BUT you also must know whether the two of you are compatible as a couple. Treat this comment of his as a sign that there is something missing. Now how important this is, is something for the two of you to evaluate. But at no point must this become a thing of argument between the two of you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |678 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Ravi Sir, Hi. I'm 27, engaged through a family-arranged match. My fiance is kind, well-settled, and earns 2 lakh monthly. His mother is a bit authoritative. My father-in-law is sweet. I have met him and his family a few times, but I don't feel any physical or emotional spark between us. I've tried to flirt with him, but there is no chemistry, which is very odd to me. When I told my parents, they said this is normal. They showed me examples of how love can grow after marriage, but honestly, I am not sure. Is it wrong to expect your partner to be romantic? Our marriage is in October. Should I call off this wedding just because there's no attraction? We have spent 3 lakhs already on the engagement and in August we plan to book the wedding hall. Pls advise
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns and they are totally valid. Please understand that romance and the idea of it is different for different people. For your parents, and their generation, romance growing after marriage might have been good enough but that does not necessarily mean it should be the same for you, or the same thing will happen in your marriage. I am not trying to scare you but rather I want you to know that your concerns are valid. Having said that, your partner’s idea of romance can be different from yours. The best thing here is to talk it out. Tell him what’s bothering you and ask if there is anything going on with him. It’s always better to address the issue no matter how uncomfortable it might be than regret later. Calling off is quite a serious decision, and it’s best you speak to him and think long and hard before deciding. But if your instincts say something is off, there is always a 50% chance that something indeed is- don’t ignore it.
Hope this helps.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10912 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, Right now i am 42 years old and due to many problems in my marriage life and divorce i had to travel back and forth and attend case. Due to which had a bankruptcy of $30k I somehow managed to get hold of an expert and got it negotiated to $10k which was a huge relief for me so i am paying monthly $175 approx. I am planning to finish it off faster by paying more amount. My income is only about $2200 monthly and i haven't saved anything in life for my future. I don't have a car or any stock savings. My parents are willing to give me 2 houses. But due to prestige i don't want to accept it right now. They want me to leave everything and come to India. Do some business or do nothing for which i am not favor off. Because i invested a lot of time to study and work abroad and yielded nothing. I like to know how to save and where to invest. How to stay safe in the future because future is not predictable Once i get old i don't want to be left out and nobody to look after me as i am single. Maybe if i get married i might be single anymore but my expenses will increase and i fear about that also. Now Kindly advise.
Ans: I truly appreciate your honesty and courage in sharing your life situation.
It takes strength to speak openly after financial and emotional setbacks.
Your survival so far itself shows resilience and discipline.
This phase is painful, but it is not permanent.
A stable future is still possible with structure and patience.

» Your current life phase assessment
– You are 42 years old now.
– You faced marital stress and legal pressure.
– Frequent travel drained emotional and financial energy.
– Bankruptcy happened due to unavoidable life events.
– You took responsibility instead of running away.

Many people collapse at this stage.
You chose negotiation and repayment.
That decision already separates you positively.

» Debt situation clarity
– Original debt was around USD 30k.
– You negotiated it down to USD 10k.
– That itself is a major win.
– Current payment is about USD 175 monthly.
– You want to close it faster.

This shows intent to reset life.
Clearing debt early improves mental health.
It also improves future financial choices.

» Income reality check
– Monthly income is about USD 2200.
– Income is modest but steady.
– There is no savings currently.
– There are no assets or vehicles.
– There is no investment history yet.

This is not failure.
This is a starting point.
Many start wealth building even later.

» Emotional pressure from family
– Parents are willing to support you.
– They are offering two houses.
– They want you to return to India.
– They want you to stop current struggle.
– You feel emotional conflict about acceptance.

Your feelings are valid.
Self-respect matters deeply.
But survival always comes before prestige.

» Prestige versus security understanding
– Prestige cannot fund old age needs.
– Security ensures dignity later.
– Temporary support is not weakness.
– Strategic acceptance is not surrender.
– Long-term independence is the goal.

Accepting help wisely can rebuild strength.
Rejecting help blindly can increase risk.
Balance is required here.

» Your fear about future loneliness
– You fear being alone in old age.
– You fear nobody supporting you later.
– You fear health and income uncertainty.
– You fear marriage expense increase.
– These fears are realistic, not negative.

Financial planning must address these fears.
Ignoring them worsens anxiety.
Facing them builds control.

» Priority one is debt freedom
– Debt keeps you mentally trapped.
– Debt delays savings growth.
– Debt increases stress during emergencies.
– Clearing debt creates emotional relief.
– Faster closure improves credit confidence.

If income allows, increase repayments gradually.
But do not starve basic living needs.
Stability matters more than speed.

» Priority two is emergency safety
– Emergency fund is missing currently.
– This is risky at your age.
– Life surprises are unavoidable.
– Medical and job risks exist.
– Cash buffer reduces panic decisions.

Even small monthly saving matters.
Emergency fund comes before investments.
This rule is non-negotiable.

» Priority three is expense control
– Track every expense for few months.
– Identify emotional spending triggers.
– Legal stress often causes overspending.
– Travel and coping expenses add silently.
– Awareness itself reduces leakage.

Do not punish yourself.
Just observe spending honestly.
Control will follow naturally.

» Living cost optimisation
– Choose modest housing.
– Avoid lifestyle comparison pressure.
– Avoid unnecessary subscriptions.
– Reduce fixed commitments first.
– Flexibility improves survival ability.

You are rebuilding, not showcasing success.
Simplicity now brings freedom later.
This phase needs humility.

» Saving mindset reset
– Saving is not leftover money.
– Saving is a fixed priority.
– Start with very small amount.
– Consistency matters more than size.
– Increase saving only after debt reduces.

Small habits compound strongly.
Late start still works with discipline.
Time plus consistency matters.

» Where to invest once stable
– Start only after emergency fund exists.
– Use simple diversified mutual fund approach.
– Avoid speculation or quick profit ideas.
– Avoid tips from friends.
– Focus on long-term compounding.

You need stability, not excitement.
Boring investing often wins.
Patience is the real skill.

» Why actively managed funds suit you
– Markets are volatile and emotional.
– Index funds blindly follow market cycles.
– They fall fully during market crashes.
– They offer no downside protection.
– They ignore valuation risks.

Actively managed funds adjust allocations.
They respond to changing conditions.
They aim to protect capital during stress.

» Behavioural support importance
– Emotional scars affect money decisions.
– Divorce impacts confidence deeply.
– Panic decisions destroy long-term wealth.
– Guidance helps maintain discipline.
– Accountability improves consistency.

Money decisions are emotional decisions.
Structure reduces emotional mistakes.
Support systems matter here.

» Why regular investing route helps
– Regular route offers guided discipline.
– You get handholding during volatility.
– Portfolio reviews stay aligned.
– Behaviour correction happens timely.
– Mistakes reduce significantly.

Direct investing demands strong self-control.
Most individuals lack that consistently.
Guidance protects you from yourself.

» Health protection planning
– Health risks rise after forty.
– Medical costs can wipe savings.
– Insurance is not investment.
– Insurance is protection.
– Coverage adequacy must be ensured.

Never delay health protection.
One illness can reset finances.
Protection always comes first.

» Job continuity planning
– Your income depends on employment.
– Skill relevance must be maintained.
– Continuous learning protects income.
– Avoid job complacency.
– Backup income ideas can be explored.

But avoid risky business ventures now.
Stability is more important than ambition.
Timing matters here.

» Parents support decision clarity
– Their offer comes from concern.
– Accepting shelter does not mean dependence.
– You can set clear boundaries.
– Use support as recovery platform.
– Plan independence timeline clearly.

Temporary support can reduce pressure.
Reduced pressure improves decision quality.
Clarity beats pride here.

» Returning to India decision view
– Decision must be financial, not emotional.
– Income visibility is important.
– Healthcare access matters later.
– Support systems reduce loneliness risk.
– Cost of living differences matter.

This decision needs structured analysis.
Do not decide under emotional pressure.
Clarity will come gradually.

» Marriage and future expenses
– Marriage increases expenses initially.
– It also increases emotional support.
– Dual income can help stability.
– Financial transparency becomes critical.
– Wrong financial choices strain relationships.

Do not rush marriage due to fear.
Stability attracts healthier relationships.
Self-respect grows with structure.

» Longevity and retirement thinking
– You may live many decades.
– Income must last long.
– Early planning reduces future burden.
– Late start needs disciplined saving.
– Compounding still works with consistency.

Age forty-two is not too late.
It is late only without action.
Action changes outcomes.

» Mental health and money connection
– Emotional healing supports financial discipline.
– Guilt and shame block progress.
– Accept past without self-punishment.
– Focus on controllable steps.
– Small wins rebuild confidence.

Money recovery is also emotional recovery.
Be kind to yourself.
Progress is not linear.

» 360 degree safety framework
– Clear debt exit plan.
– Emergency fund creation.
– Income stability focus.
– Health risk protection.
– Disciplined long-term investing.

This framework rebuilds life gradually.
Each layer supports the next.
Skipping layers causes collapse.

» Time horizon advantage
– You still have working years.
– Time helps compounding.
– Stability now brings growth later.
– Discipline beats timing always.
– Slow progress still reaches destination.

Late starters often become disciplined savers.
Discipline compensates for lost time.
Hope is realistic here.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Provides structure during confusion.
– Helps avoid emotional mistakes.
– Aligns money with life goals.
– Reviews progress objectively.
– Supports long-term accountability.

You do not need perfection.
You need consistency and guidance.
That changes outcomes.

» Finally
– You are not a failure.
– You survived difficult storms.
– Debt reduction shows responsibility.
– Stability is still achievable.
– Your future can be secure.

This phase is a rebuild phase.
With patience, life can stabilise again.
Your story is not over yet.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10912 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Money
Dear Rediff FinanceGuru, I am a NRI in mid 40s, living in a nordic country with wife and 2 school going kids. We both work in IT sector so job security is as good as it gets now a days. We earn decent salary from nordic standards. My portfolio is both nordic and indian put together is around 10 cr. Break up: Cash 1%, Debt 33%, equity 35%, Gold 1%, Real Estate 30%. After retirement we 2 plan to move back to India and kids will pursue their life here or anywhere in the world. My questions are: Is this portfolio distribution ok? any suggestions for change considering our ages, kids future our India aspirations? We do not have any type of insurance in India. Second Q is: Is this corpus good enough for our comfortable retirement in India in a A/B grade city with decent lifestyle? Any further Qs from your side to know my situation better and suggest further remediations are welcome. I am your regular reader and highly appreciate your unbiased and non-judgmental advice. Thanks.
Ans: Your discipline and clarity are truly appreciable.
Your long-term thinking shows maturity and balance.
Your trust and regular reading mean a lot.
Your questions are relevant and timely.

» Your Life Stage And Background
– You are in your mid forties.
– You live in a Nordic country.
– You are married with two school-going children.
– Both spouses work in IT sector.
– Job stability is reasonably strong now.
– Income levels are decent by local standards.
– You plan retirement in India.
– Children may settle anywhere globally.
– This clarity helps structured planning.

» Current Net Worth Overview
– Total combined portfolio is around Rs 10 crores.
– Assets are spread across countries.
– Diversification already exists geographically.
– This reduces single-country risk.
– Asset breakup needs careful evaluation.

» Current Asset Allocation Snapshot
– Cash stands near one percent.
– Debt exposure is around thirty-three percent.
– Equity exposure is around thirty-five percent.
– Gold exposure is near one percent.
– Real estate forms thirty percent.
– Allocation reflects conservative tilt.
– It also reflects asset accumulation phase.

» Appreciation For Existing Discipline
– You avoided extreme equity exposure.
– You avoided reckless leverage.
– You built assets steadily.
– You maintained real assets too.
– This shows patience and consistency.
– Many peers miss this balance.

» Age-Based Risk Assessment
– Mid forties allow moderate risk.
– Retirement is still some years away.
– Income flow is stable currently.
– Equity exposure can still grow.
– Capital protection remains important.
– Growth must beat inflation long term.

» Equity Allocation Assessment
– Thirty-five percent equity is moderate.
– For your age, it is slightly conservative.
– You still have earning years left.
– Equity supports long-term purchasing power.
– Inflation risk exists in India later.
– Gradual increase can be considered.

» Debt Allocation Assessment
– Debt at thirty-three percent is high.
– This suits stability and safety goals.
– It reduces portfolio volatility.
– It supports future income planning.
– However, excess debt limits growth.
– Nordic debt yields may be low.

» Cash Allocation Review
– One percent cash is low.
– Emergency buffers must be ensured.
– Separate country-wise liquidity matters.
– Job security is good but not permanent.
– Cash also supports tactical opportunities.

» Gold Allocation Insight
– One percent gold is minimal.
– Gold acts as crisis hedge.
– It helps during currency stress.
– It adds stability during equity drawdowns.
– Slight increase may help balance.

» Real Estate Exposure Assessment
– Thirty percent real estate is significant.
– It adds illiquidity risk.
– It adds concentration risk.
– It may create management complexity.
– Rental yields are usually low.
– Exit timing may not align with needs.
– For retirement liquidity, this matters.

» India Return Perspective
– Retirement in India changes cost dynamics.
– Healthcare costs increase sharply.
– Lifestyle inflation exists in cities.
– Currency conversion impacts corpus value.
– Asset allocation must factor this.

» Children Future Considerations
– Children may study abroad.
– Education costs can be high.
– Global education needs flexible funds.
– Country of residence is uncertain.
– Liquidity and currency flexibility matters.

» Geographic Asset Split Consideration
– Assets exist in Nordic and India.
– This diversification is positive.
– Currency risk is spread.
– Regulatory risk is spread.
– Rebalancing closer to retirement helps.

» Suggested Equity Allocation Direction
– Equity can move towards forty-five percent gradually.
– Increase should be slow and phased.
– Focus on quality active strategies.
– Avoid chasing short-term trends.
– Avoid concentrated bets.

» Debt Allocation Adjustment Thought
– Debt can reduce slightly over time.
– Gradual shift supports growth.
– Maintain debt for stability.
– Use debt for near-term goals.
– Avoid locking long duration blindly.

» Gold Allocation Fine-Tuning
– Consider increasing gold modestly.
– Aim for balance, not returns.
– Gold protects during extreme scenarios.
– Avoid overexposure.

» Real Estate Rationalisation Thought
– Avoid adding more real estate.
– Review existing property utility.
– Assess maintenance burden.
– Assess liquidity needs later.
– Avoid emotional attachment in decisions.

» Overall Portfolio Balance View
– Portfolio is stable but slightly conservative.
– Growth potential can improve.
– Risk remains manageable.
– Adjustments should be gradual.
– Avoid sudden large changes.

» Insurance Gap Assessment
– No insurance in India is a concern.
– Health cover is critical.
– Indian healthcare costs escalate quickly.
– Overseas cover may not work locally.
– Senior age entry increases premiums.

» Health Insurance Planning
– Secure Indian health insurance early.
– Coverage should be comprehensive.
– Include both spouses.
– Consider long-term renewability.
– Medical inflation is severe.

» Life Insurance Perspective
– Life insurance need reduces with wealth.
– However, dependents still matter.
– Children education security matters.
– Coverage clarity avoids stress.
– Term protection may be reviewed.

» Retirement Corpus Adequacy Question
– Rs 10 crores is a strong corpus.
– It offers significant comfort.
– India living costs are manageable.
– A and B cities offer good quality.
– Lifestyle expectations define adequacy.

» Retirement Lifestyle Assessment
– Comfortable lifestyle is realistic.
– Domestic help is affordable.
– Healthcare access is improving.
– Travel costs need planning.
– Inflation erodes purchasing power.

» Longevity Risk Consideration
– Retirement may last thirty years.
– Inflation compounds silently.
– Equity exposure helps longevity risk.
– Debt provides stability.
– Balance is essential.

» Currency Conversion Risk
– Nordic currency to INR fluctuations matter.
– Conversion timing affects corpus size.
– Phased conversion reduces risk.
– Avoid lump-sum repatriation.

» Income Planning Post Retirement
– Regular income planning is essential.
– Pension income may not exist.
– Portfolio income must be structured.
– Volatility should not disturb lifestyle.

» Tax Planning Perspective
– Cross-border taxation needs clarity.
– Residency status affects taxation.
– Asset location impacts tax efficiency.
– Planning early avoids surprises.

» Estate Planning Importance
– Estate planning must be addressed.
– Multiple jurisdictions complicate matters.
– Wills may be needed separately.
– Nomination alone is insufficient.
– Clarity avoids family stress.

» Children Independence Planning
– Children may not depend financially.
– Still, education support may be needed.
– Clear boundaries help relationships.
– Transparent communication matters.

» Risk Of Over-Conservatism
– Too much safety reduces future value.
– Inflation risk is silent.
– Conservative portfolios may disappoint later.
– Balanced growth is healthier.

» Risk Of Over-Aggression
– Excess equity increases volatility.
– Emotional stress increases during downturns.
– Poor timing hurts retirement plans.
– Balance remains key.

» Sequence Of Return Risk
– Early retirement years matter most.
– Market falls then hurt sustainability.
– Portfolio design must handle this.
– Bucketing approach can help conceptually.

» Emergency Planning
– Maintain emergency funds separately.
– Cover both countries initially.
– Medical emergencies need instant liquidity.
– Avoid forced asset sales.

» Country Transition Planning
– Returning to India needs preparation.
– Banking arrangements need setup.
– Tax residency status needs clarity.
– Healthcare access must be arranged.

» Emotional Transition Considerations
– Reverse migration is emotional.
– Children adjustment matters.
– Social circle rebuilding takes time.
– Financial clarity reduces stress.

» Questions To Understand Better
– Planned retirement age matters.
– Desired retirement city matters.
– Expected lifestyle expenses matter.
– Children education funding expectations matter.
– Existing insurance abroad details matter.

» Additional Clarifications Needed
– Nature of real estate assets matters.
– Rental income presence matters.
– Debt instruments country-wise matters.
– Equity allocation style matters.

» Actionable Next Steps
– Review asset allocation annually.
– Gradually increase growth assets.
– Secure Indian health insurance early.
– Strengthen estate planning.
– Prepare repatriation roadmap.

» Role Of Certified Financial Planner
– A Certified Financial Planner coordinates all aspects.
– Helps with cross-border complexity.
– Helps align family goals.
– Helps manage risk objectively.

» Final Insights
– Your foundation is strong and reassuring.
– Portfolio needs fine-tuning, not overhaul.
– Retirement in India looks achievable.
– Early insurance planning is crucial.
– Gradual adjustments bring best results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10912 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Money
Respected Sir, I am 53 years old and planning to retire. My monthly expense requirement is INR 1 lakh, with an assumed annual inflation rate of 6%. Currently, I have a rental income of INR 50,000 and investments worth INR 2 crore across mutual funds, provident fund, shares, and fixed deposits. Additionally, I own two houses—one self-occupied and the other rented out—and one shop. I would appreciate your advice on creating a retirement plan. Thank you in advance.
Ans: I appreciate your clear thinking and honest sharing of details.
Your preparation mindset itself gives strength to your retirement plan.
You have built assets patiently over many years.
That discipline deserves appreciation and respect.

» Current age and retirement readiness
– You are 53 years old now.
– Retirement planning at this stage is timely.
– You still have a valuable planning window.
– Decisions taken now will shape comfort later.
– Early clarity reduces future stress.

Your awareness itself is a positive sign.
Many people delay this stage.
You have not delayed.

» Monthly expense understanding
– Your current monthly expense is Rs.1 lakh.
– This is a realistic and practical number.
– You have already considered inflation impact.
– A 6% inflation assumption is sensible.
– Expenses will rise slowly but surely.

Planning with inflation avoids false comfort.
Ignoring inflation causes future shortfalls.
You have avoided that mistake.

» Income sources after retirement
– You receive rental income of Rs.50,000 monthly.
– This covers half of current expenses.
– Rental income reduces portfolio pressure.
– Rental income also provides emotional comfort.
– However, rental income can fluctuate.

Rental income should not be fully relied upon.
Vacancy and repairs can reduce cash flow.
Backup planning remains essential.

» Asset base evaluation
– You hold investments worth Rs.2 crore.
– Assets include mutual funds and provident fund.
– You also hold shares and fixed deposits.
– This shows healthy diversification already.
– Asset variety reduces single risk exposure.

Your asset base is solid for retirement planning.
The structure now needs refinement.
Alignment with retirement goals is key.

» Property ownership assessment
– You own one self-occupied house.
– You own one rented residential property.
– You also own one shop property.
– Property ownership gives stability.
– Property ownership also brings responsibilities.

We will treat properties as income support.
We will not treat them as growth investments.
This avoids over dependence on property values.

» Retirement timeline clarity
– Retirement decision seems near.
– You may retire within few years.
– This reduces risk-taking capacity.
– Capital protection becomes more important now.
– Growth still matters but with balance.

The transition phase needs careful handling.
Sudden shifts can harm returns.
Gradual restructuring is preferred.

» Expense coverage gap analysis
– Monthly expense is Rs.1 lakh today.
– Rental income covers about Rs.50,000.
– Balance must come from investments.
– This gap will grow with inflation.
– Planning must cover long retirement years.

Longevity risk is real today.
Living longer means higher expenses.
Your plan must assume long life.

» Investment structure evaluation
– Mutual funds offer growth potential.
– Provident fund gives stability.
– Fixed deposits give liquidity.
– Shares add volatility and opportunity.
– Balance between these is essential.

Each asset must have a role.
Random holding creates confusion.
Purpose-based structure brings peace.

» Withdrawal strategy importance
– Retirement success depends on withdrawals.
– Wrong withdrawal timing damages capital.
– Market volatility affects retirement income.
– Planned withdrawals reduce sequence risk.
– Cash flow planning is critical.

Money is not only about returns.
It is about availability when needed.
This needs disciplined planning.

» Equity exposure during retirement
– Equity is still important post retirement.
– Equity fights inflation effectively.
– But excess equity increases stress.
– Allocation must match risk comfort.
– Regular review becomes important.

Completely avoiding equity is risky.
Overexposure is also risky.
Balanced exposure gives stability.

» Fixed income role after retirement
– Fixed income provides stability.
– It supports predictable cash flows.
– It reduces volatility impact.
– It helps during market downturns.
– Liquidity management becomes easier.

However, fixed income alone fails inflation.
That is why balance matters.
Each asset has a purpose.

» Tax efficiency consideration
– Tax planning improves net income.
– Withdrawals must be tax aware.
– Equity mutual fund taxation must be planned.
– LTCG beyond Rs.1.25 lakh attracts 12.5%.
– STCG is taxed at 20%.

Debt mutual funds follow slab taxation.
Wrong timing increases tax burden.
Tax planning should be continuous.

» Emergency fund importance
– Emergency fund remains essential post retirement.
– Health expenses can be sudden.
– Property repairs can be unexpected.
– Family support needs may arise.
– Liquidity avoids forced asset sales.

Emergency funds protect long-term investments.
They reduce panic decisions.
Peace of mind increases.

» Health care planning focus
– Health costs rise faster than inflation.
– Age increases medical needs.
– Insurance cover adequacy must be checked.
– Out-of-pocket expenses should be planned.
– Cash reserve for health is essential.

Health planning protects retirement dignity.
Medical shocks destroy savings quickly.
Prevention planning is critical.

» Lifestyle planning after retirement
– Retirement lifestyle often changes.
– Travel expenses may increase initially.
– Social activities may change.
– Daily routine expenses may shift.
– Budget flexibility is required.

Rigid planning fails in real life.
Flexible budgeting works better.
Review annually for comfort.

» Inflation impact over long retirement
– Inflation silently erodes purchasing power.
– Fixed income loses value over time.
– Growth assets protect purchasing power.
– Long retirement needs growth exposure.
– Short-term comfort should not mislead.

Your 6% inflation assumption is realistic.
Ignoring inflation creates future shock.
You have taken the right assumption.

» Asset allocation realignment need
– Current allocation may not be retirement aligned.
– Growth assets may need gradual reduction.
– Stability assets may need gradual increase.
– Sudden changes should be avoided.
– Phased approach works best.

Rebalancing must be systematic.
Emotional reactions must be avoided.
Discipline delivers results.

» Role of regular income planning
– Monthly income planning brings predictability.
– Systematic withdrawals reduce stress.
– Random withdrawals disturb portfolio balance.
– Income planning supports lifestyle stability.
– Review annually for adjustments.

Regular income reduces anxiety.
It supports confidence in retirement.
Planning removes fear.

» Sequence of returns risk awareness
– Early negative returns harm retirement corpus.
– Withdrawals during market falls damage capital.
– Buffer assets protect during downturns.
– Cash management reduces sequence risk.
– Planning reduces damage impact.

This risk is often ignored.
Awareness improves survival rate.
Planning mitigates damage.

» Psychological readiness for retirement
– Retirement is an emotional change.
– Income regularity changes suddenly.
– Purpose and routine may change.
– Financial clarity supports emotional balance.
– Confidence reduces fear of future.

Money planning supports mental peace.
Uncertainty creates stress.
Clarity brings calm.

» Estate and legacy planning view
– Asset distribution planning is important.
– Nomination and documentation must be updated.
– Family clarity avoids disputes.
– Estate planning supports dignity.
– Review documents periodically.

This planning protects family harmony.
It also protects your intentions.
Clarity prevents confusion.

» Risk management review
– Insurance coverage must be reviewed.
– Health insurance adequacy is critical.
– Property insurance should be checked.
– Liability risks must be understood.
– Risk protection preserves wealth.

Returns are meaningless without protection.
Risk management completes financial planning.
Neglect here is costly.

» Monitoring and review discipline
– Retirement planning is not one-time.
– Annual reviews are necessary.
– Expenses may change.
– Income sources may change.
– Market conditions always change.

Periodic review keeps plan relevant.
Static plans fail over time.
Flexibility ensures longevity.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Objective and structured guidance.
– Emotional discipline during volatility.
– Tax aware withdrawal planning.
– Asset allocation monitoring.
– Long-term accountability support.

A planner brings structure and clarity.
They reduce emotional mistakes.
They support disciplined execution.

» Finally
– You have a strong starting position.
– Your assets provide solid foundation.
– Rental income reduces dependency pressure.
– Structured planning will enhance confidence.
– Early action improves retirement comfort.

Your journey shows discipline and patience.
With structured execution, retirement can be comfortable.
Hope remains strong with informed decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10912 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Money
I am 66 years senior citizen getting Rs 60,000/- pension from Central Govt. I have a house that I brought in 2021 for Rs 3 crores and presently valued at Rs 6 crores. I have about 3 crores corpus. Should I sell my apartment and keep cash or leave my property to 2 daughters of mine ?
Ans: Your discipline and clarity at this age are truly appreciable.
Your openness helps build a strong and thoughtful decision path.

» Your Current Life Stage Context
– You are sixty six years old.
– You receive steady Central Government pension income.
– Monthly pension is Rs 60000.
– This income gives baseline financial comfort.
– Pension reduces dependence on volatile assets.
– You also own a self occupied apartment.
– The apartment was purchased in 2021.
– Purchase value was around Rs 3 crores.
– Current market value appears around Rs 6 crores.
– You also hold financial corpus near Rs 3 crores.
– You have two daughters.
– You are evaluating sale versus inheritance.
– This shows deep responsibility and foresight.

» Emotional And Family Angle
– Property decisions are never only financial.
– Emotional comfort matters at this age.
– Peace of mind matters most now.
– Stability matters more than high returns.
– Daughters’ security is also important.
– Harmony between children is critical.
– Clear decisions avoid future disputes.
– Simplicity helps during later years.
– Mental comfort should guide choices.

» Housing As A Lifestyle Asset
– A house is first a living space.
– It provides safety and dignity.
– It offers emotional anchoring.
– Senior years value familiarity.
– Shifting homes causes stress.
– Selling home changes daily routines.
– Renting later brings uncertainty.
– Dependence on landlords increases.
– Maintenance control reduces after selling.
– Stability usually matters more now.

» Financial Security From Pension
– Your pension is inflation sensitive to some extent.
– It gives predictable cash flow.
– It supports daily expenses.
– It reduces pressure on investments.
– Pension lowers longevity risk significantly.
– You need not chase aggressive returns.
– Capital preservation becomes priority.
– Regular income already exists.
– This is a strong advantage.

» Role Of Existing Rs 3 Crores Corpus
– Financial corpus provides additional safety.
– It supports medical needs.
– It supports emergencies.
– It supports lifestyle upgrades.
– It supports children support if required.
– Asset allocation should remain conservative.
– Liquidity planning is important.
– Tax efficiency also matters.
– Risk exposure should be limited.

» Should You Sell The Apartment
– Selling creates large cash exposure.
– Cash faces inflation erosion risk.
– Reinvestment decisions create stress.
– Wrong timing risks capital loss.
– Tax outgo may arise.
– Managing large liquidity needs discipline.
– Emotional comfort of own home reduces.
– Rental living may feel restrictive.
– Healthcare access continuity may break.
– Neighbourhood familiarity gets disturbed.

» Risks Of Holding Excess Cash
– Cash loses value over time.
– Inflation steadily erodes purchasing power.
– Bank limits create concentration risk.
– Reinvestment decisions invite market timing risk.
– Family pressure on cash increases.
– Idle cash tempts impulsive decisions.
– Managing liquidity becomes responsibility.
– Cash also creates safety illusion.

» Tax Considerations On Sale
– Property sale may attract capital gains tax.
– Indexation benefits depend on holding period.
– Net proceeds reduce after taxes.
– Reinvestment pressure increases post sale.
– Tax planning requires careful sequencing.
– Sudden tax outgo impacts corpus.
– This needs calm assessment.

» Estate Planning Importance
– Estate planning becomes essential now.
– It avoids disputes later.
– It protects daughters equally.
– It gives clarity and transparency.
– It reflects your wishes clearly.
– It reduces legal delays.
– It brings family harmony.
– It ensures smooth asset transfer.

» Leaving Property To Daughters
– Property inheritance is emotionally strong.
– It gives tangible legacy.
– It avoids immediate tax triggers.
– It allows daughters future flexibility.
– They may sell later jointly.
– They may retain if desired.
– Clear Will avoids conflicts.
– Equal allocation maintains harmony.

» Joint Ownership Challenges
– Joint ownership requires cooperation.
– Sale decisions need consensus.
– Usage decisions may differ.
– Maintenance responsibilities may clash.
– Clear instructions reduce confusion.
– A Will must specify intent.
– Executor role becomes important.

» Role Of Will And Nomination
– A registered Will is critical.
– It supersedes nominations.
– It reflects your clear intent.
– It should mention asset distribution.
– It should name executor.
– It should cover financial assets.
– It should cover property clearly.
– Periodic review is advisable.

» Medical And Care Planning
– Healthcare costs rise sharply later.
– Cash buffer must exist.
– Insurance coverage review is essential.
– Emergency liquidity should be ready.
– Hospital access continuity matters.
– Familiar area helps care.
– Home proximity to children matters.

» Children Financial Independence Check
– Assess daughters’ financial stability.
– Understand their housing situation.
– Understand their family needs.
– Avoid assumptions silently.
– Open communication helps clarity.
– Transparency builds trust.
– Avoid future misunderstandings.

» Psychological Comfort Assessment
– Ask where you feel safest.
– Ask where routines feel easiest.
– Ask where health support exists.
– Ask where social circle exists.
– Comfort often outweighs numbers.
– Emotional peace is priceless.

» Alternative Middle Path
– You need not rush selling.
– You can continue living comfortably.
– You can strengthen estate planning.
– You can organise finances cleanly.
– You can maintain liquidity separately.
– You can review annually.

» Liquidity Without Selling Home
– Financial corpus already provides liquidity.
– Pension covers regular expenses.
– Emergency funds can be earmarked.
– Medical reserves can be segregated.
– This reduces sale pressure.

» Asset Allocation Review
– Reduce high risk exposures gradually.
– Focus on income oriented instruments.
– Maintain tax efficiency.
– Ensure simple monitoring.
– Avoid complex structures.
– Simplicity aids peace.

» Role Of Certified Financial Planner
– A Certified Financial Planner adds objectivity.
– Helps integrate tax planning.
– Helps estate planning coordination.
– Helps risk management review.
– Helps succession clarity.
– Helps family communication if needed.

» Avoiding Forced Decisions
– Avoid decisions driven by fear.
– Avoid decisions driven by hearsay.
– Avoid pressure from relatives.
– Avoid impulsive restructuring.
– Calm planning gives best outcomes.

» Scenario If You Sell
– Only consider if living becomes difficult.
– Only consider if health requires relocation.
– Only consider if maintenance overwhelms.
– Plan reinvestment beforehand.
– Plan tax outgo beforehand.
– Plan monthly income replacement.

» Scenario If You Retain
– Continue enjoying self owned comfort.
– Strengthen legal documentation.
– Keep property papers updated.
– Inform daughters clearly.
– Maintain property insurance.
– Review Will periodically.

» Family Communication Strategy
– Share intentions openly.
– Explain reasons calmly.
– Invite questions.
– Avoid secrecy.
– Transparency prevents conflict.

» Long Term Peace Objective
– Your life phase seeks calm.
– Predictability matters more now.
– Complexity reduces quality of life.
– Stability brings confidence.
– Clear planning brings dignity.

» Finally
– Your pension gives strong base.
– Your corpus gives safety cushion.
– Your home gives emotional security.
– Selling is not necessary immediately.
– Retaining with clear Will feels balanced.
– Estate planning deserves priority now.
– Periodic review keeps flexibility alive.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10912 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2025Hindi
Money
I have invested money through ARSSBL in block trading and IPO now when I am trying to withdraw my funds they are asking me to pay service fees and short term capital gains tax before I can withdraw money.
Ans: I appreciate your alertness and courage in raising this concern early.
Many investors face similar pressure during withdrawals.
Your question shows responsibility and financial awareness.

» Understanding the current situation
– You invested through a platform claiming block trading and IPO access.
– You are now requesting withdrawal of your invested funds.
– They are demanding service fees before releasing money.
– They are also asking advance short term capital gains tax.
– This demand is creating confusion and anxiety.

Such situations deserve calm and structured evaluation.
Rushed payments often worsen losses.
Your pause is the correct first step.

» How legitimate investment platforms handle withdrawals
– Genuine platforms deduct charges after profit booking.
– Taxes are never collected in advance from investors.
– Capital gains tax is paid directly to the government.
– Tax payment happens during income tax filing.
– Brokers do not collect tax before fund release.

This process is consistent across regulated markets.
Any deviation requires strong caution.
Your experience clearly deviates from norms.

» Red flags visible in your experience
– Advance fee demand before withdrawal is suspicious.
– Advance tax demand before payout is abnormal.
– Pressure tactics indicate possible intent to trap funds.
– Lack of transparent contract terms raises concern.
– Absence of clear regulator oversight is alarming.

These indicators appear together in many fraud cases.
Experienced Certified Financial Planners observe this pattern often.
Awareness at this stage can still limit damage.

» Block trading and IPO access reality check
– Block trades require institutional level access.
– Retail investors rarely participate directly.
– IPO allocations follow regulated processes.
– No platform can guarantee profits.
– Promised assured returns indicate misrepresentation.

Such offerings are often misused for deception.
Marketing language may sound sophisticated.
Structure behind it often lacks substance.

» Service fee demand assessment
– Legitimate fees are deducted from sale proceeds.
– Investors are never asked to prepay fees.
– Fee invoices should be transparent and documented.
– Fees should appear in agreement documents.
– Verbal demands lack legal standing.

Paying fees upfront rarely solves withdrawal issues.
It often leads to additional demands.
This cycle drains investor confidence and capital.

» Short term capital gains tax clarity
– Capital gains tax arises only after selling assets.
– Tax liability is calculated at financial year end.
– Investors pay tax during income tax filing.
– Brokers do not act as tax collectors.
– Advance tax requests signal misinformation.

This demand alone is a serious warning sign.
It contradicts Indian tax structure completely.
Certified Financial Planners treat this as high risk.

» Psychological pressure techniques used
– Urgency is deliberately created.
– Fear of losing funds is triggered.
– Hope of recovery is repeatedly offered.
– New charges appear after each payment.
– Communication becomes selective and delayed.

These tactics aim to exhaust the investor emotionally.
Once emotions take control, mistakes follow.
Staying analytical protects your position.

» Regulatory and legal angle
– Verify if the entity is SEBI registered.
– Check registration numbers independently.
– Avoid links or screenshots provided by them.
– Use official regulator portals only.
– Absence of registration confirms illegitimacy.

Regulated entities follow strict withdrawal norms.
Unregulated entities operate without accountability.
Investor protection exists only under regulation.

» Immediate steps you should take
– Stop all further payments immediately.
– Do not send any additional funds.
– Preserve all communication records carefully.
– Save payment proofs and transaction details.
– Avoid verbal discussions going forward.

Documentation is your strongest defence now.
Silence from your side can reduce pressure.
Do not argue or negotiate further.

» Financial damage control perspective
– Accept that sunk cost cannot guide decisions.
– Focus on preventing additional loss.
– Emotional attachment worsens outcomes.
– Rational detachment brings clarity.
– Future financial health matters more.

This mindset shift is critical.
Many investors recover only after accepting reality.
Delay increases financial erosion.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner here
– Objective evaluation without emotional bias.
– Portfolio level damage control planning.
– Cash flow stabilisation guidance.
– Tax compliance clarity going forward.
– Long term wealth rebuilding approach.

This is not about chasing losses.
It is about restoring financial balance.
Structured advice supports recovery.

» How to report and escalate safely
– File a complaint with cyber crime authorities.
– Submit details through official government portals.
– Avoid private recovery agents.
– Avoid social media recovery offers.
– These often compound losses.

Reporting protects future investors too.
Even partial recovery begins with formal complaint.
Silence only helps wrongdoers.

» Long term investment hygiene lessons
– Avoid platforms promising special access.
– Prefer transparent and regulated routes.
– Understand exit terms before investing.
– Never invest based on urgency.
– Documentation must precede money transfer.

These habits protect wealth consistently.
They reduce dependency on hope-based decisions.
Discipline builds lasting confidence.

» Rebuilding confidence after such experience
– Self blame is unproductive.
– Education is the real takeaway.
– Many intelligent investors face such traps.
– Awareness spreads only through sharing.
– Confidence returns with structured planning.

This phase will pass.
Your financial journey is not defined by one event.
Recovery is achievable with clarity.

» Broader financial health review needed
– Emergency fund adequacy must be reviewed.
– Insurance coverage should be checked.
– Debt exposure needs evaluation.
– Investment diversification requires restructuring.
– Cash flow discipline must be reinforced.

This situation highlights system gaps.
Addressing them strengthens future resilience.
360 degree review is essential now.

» Finally
– Do not pay service fees upfront.
– Do not pay advance capital gains tax.
– Treat this demand as a serious red flag.
– Focus on damage control and protection.
– Seek structured guidance from a Certified Financial Planner.

Hope remains through informed action.
Your awareness today protects tomorrow’s wealth.
Calm steps now reduce regret later.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2025Hindi
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 22, 2025

Relationship
My son is a B. Tech (computer Science) second year student in a well reputed Private University in Greater Noida. He is working very hard in studies but not able to get good grade or passing marks. He is introvert type and has not many friends. He has been introduced to many teachers and senior students for hand holding purposes and guiding him but he not coming up to meet them and sort out his problems. He is a hosteler. To whom should we take him (Professional Counsellor/ Psychologist/ Psychiatrist) to assess and know the exact reasons or issues he is facing to address his problems. How can we help him to come out of present situation.
Ans: Dear Maheshwar,
It's wise to ask your family doctor/close friend/someone with experience in counseling/therapy to recommend someone they know in Greater Noida area; that way it will become easy for your son to access that professional due to proximity. Alternatively, these days a lot of counseling and therapy sessions are done online. Whatever you choose, let it be on the recommendation from any of the above mentioned individuals.
When you choose a professional, please bear in mind if they have:
- expertise in handling youngsters in this digital world
- experience in dealing with the case with patience rather that jumping to prescribe medications

Ask your questions and only when you are satisfied that he/she is the right person to work with your son, engage with them professionally.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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