Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
suresh Question by suresh on Apr 29, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

my wife not understand my feelings

Ans: Dear Suresh,
I have very little information from you on why you feel that your wife does not understand your feelings.
Let us assume: that is takes two hands to clap...
So,
1. If and when, there is a difference of opinion, instead of feeling lost that she does not understand your feelings, can you instead tell her: I feel unheard instead of you don't understand me at all.
2. Do spend time hearing her as well as she could just be complaining in her way through pushing you back and not wanting to hear you

Try this and like I always say: It takes love, commitment, trust and a lot of understanding to grow a relationship. And it takes only one assumption to break a relationship.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 07, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Hi, Anu krishna I am shekhar from Hyd, My wife always comparing the life with rich people. for that she build the pressure on me any thing . But I am explaining actual situation but she did not understand. Already once i tried for business for 3 years for her satisfaction earn the money. But that 3 years we loosed any thing and once upon time I tried attempted suicided. Then I come back and re-started my professional job. Now again i am in well position but not my wife expected level. Now my wife again and again pressurizing, earn the money. How can I explain to my wife smoothly without disturbing her mind. please help me
Ans: Dear Manny,
You cannot keep yielding to your wife's demands of becoming rich by comparing you to other rich people. No money is enough money and this is something that must understand.
If she isn't happy with your current professional job, no matter what you do, she has decided not to approve of it.
Money is not earned only by doing business but it can come through a job as well. You cannot be under this pressure of earning more money as it will start to affect your mental and physical health.
Kindly speak with her by putting down the problem as you face it or else request someone from her family to speak with her.
Money is not everything but when we compare ourselves to someone who makes more money than us, the mind becomes stressed and almost obsessive that we can make more mistakes. Time for you to speak up your mind and do what you think is right as what you need right now is stability from your losses. Speaking your mind will also help you manage your stress better. Your wife may not understand this now, but someday she will understand why you had to do this and continue with the job for the time being.
All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello Mam, I am 45 year old IT professional, I have good salary and owning 3 flats. My wife is also working and she also having descent salary. I am having family of 4, Me, wife, daughter 11 years and son 8 years old. My problem here is, we are having discussion on only future and not living current life. My wife is think more about money and how to get money quickly as possible for further provisions like kids education, retirement etc. Also, She doesnt want to spend on me especilaly, never got any gift from her. We are not having good physical relation. Many times i have discussed with her and went through doctor for consultantion and medication. But, she doesnt want to take medicines.I feel very bad and my life is similar as earlier. Many times feels like she doesnt love me. My life become mechanic and no joy init. I am just living for my Kids betterment.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well no two people in a marriage are the same, are they?
You just have different ideals stemming from different value systems. this can be bridged by actually talking about it, so that either of you might not be on a extreme. If she likes to save, you can moderate her by actually setting a budget for spending on necessities and luxuries.
And she will in turn moderate you, if she finds you spending on things that are unnecessary.
It's about seeing things on the same page but with different glasses and acknowledging that you are both different.
As far as physical intimacy goes, I guess many couples face a slump after children occupying a huge part of their lives and with full-time jobs, it can make one tired more than excited. Set aside time to be alone with one another and practice the art of non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, hugging...
Sometimes to jump out of the mechanical life, you need to do something different and exciting to get a different and exciting result. So do what you haven't done before! Get the drift here?

All the best!

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |63 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Shalini ji i am married since 2007 last 18 years my life was going very we'll and we both have good understanding and we both taking care of our family having two kids very well last year i come to know that before marriage my wife were having one male friend this male friends usually meet my wife at that time and gossips and even he taken her to visit on some locations 4 to 5 times as per my wife this friend was taken her to his room also 4 time but as they were good friends only so they just gossiping there as well as per my wife she had no any feeling with that guy but in between one day he asked her that he want to marry her , as per my wife he was telling him that he has been broken by his old girl friend and now since my wife listening him very carefully he started liking her , my wife still meeting him in between and go for outing at that time one day he asked to visit her home for marriage than my wife reject his proposal, after that this man gone out of station and than not met her, as per my wife telling me that i have not liked him and not having any feeling at that time and she telling that my 1st love is my husband only i am not able to decide anything now and not able to sleep properly not able to focus on me my health and my work i am vey shocked that the girl i love how she met with other man in past why she gone for outdoor and his room in past i am vey upset from last one year now and nkt able to find any Solution what to do now how to live life ahead pl guide me
Ans: Whilst I comment on dating and how to find your person, I will like to comment on this

1. basis of what you have shared you are overthinking and ruining what you have had since 18 years. your wife decided to stay with you and invest in the relationship with you is the fact that she cares for you and the relationship so stop being upset, be kind to yourself, her and the relationship.

on another note

2. marriage should not stop us from having close friends from the opposite gender.

3. if you are married, it means you are an adult which means if two adults consent to adultery its their responsibility to accept it. say if you are attracted to a woman and go all the way its not the woman who has lured you, both are in their senses and know what they are doing.

4. yes even after marrying or being in a committed relationship you can and will find others attractive and you will be found attractive to others. Its upto you and only you on how you wish to act if such a situation arises. As I shared you are an adult and someone who can not think but also overthink so you decide how to act in such a situation.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
Sir, I am 72 years old and want to invest Rs 15 lac in M.F, in swp.already invested 22 lac in MF .I am high risk taker . I want swp amount after one year. Please suggest M.F schemes . Thanks
Ans: Given your risk appetite and requirement for SWP after one year, it's crucial to focus on mutual fund schemes that offer potential for high returns while considering the relatively short investment horizon. Here are some suggestions:

Large & Midcap Funds: These funds invest in a mix of large-cap and mid-cap stocks, offering a balance between growth potential and stability. Look for schemes with a track record of consistent performance and experienced fund management.
Sectoral/Thematic Funds: If you have specific sectoral preferences and are willing to take higher risks, you can consider investing in sectoral or thematic funds. These funds focus on specific sectors or themes like technology, healthcare, or infrastructure, offering the potential for higher returns but also higher volatility.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds: Aggressive hybrid funds invest primarily in equities with a smaller allocation to debt instruments. They are suitable for investors seeking growth with relatively lower volatility compared to pure equity funds.
Flexi Cap Funds: These funds have the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on market conditions. They offer a dynamic approach to asset allocation and can adapt to changing market trends.
Mid & Small Cap Funds: If you have a higher risk tolerance and a longer investment horizon, mid and small-cap funds can potentially offer higher returns. However, they also come with higher volatility and risk, so careful selection and monitoring are essential.
When selecting mutual fund schemes, focus on factors such as fund performance track record, fund manager's experience and strategy, expense ratio, and risk-adjusted returns. Additionally, consider diversifying your investments across multiple schemes to spread risk.

It's advisable to consult with a certified financial planner or investment advisor who can assess your financial situation, risk tolerance, and investment goals to provide personalized recommendations aligned with your needs and preferences.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I have been laid off by my company and I have a PF balance of around 22 lacs. I read we are allowed to withdraw 75% if we are laid off and being unemployed at least for a month. I am thinking if it is a good idea to withdraw this 75% and invest in diverse options like mutual funds, FDs or corporate bonds which give better interest? I see mutual fund options in many apps these days with some good performing funds giving 33% returns on 3-year average. So should I consider investing at least 50% of my PF corpus in that option and balance in others? Please advice.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your job loss. With regards to your PF withdrawal, it's essential to carefully consider your options before making any decisions.

PF Withdrawal: Yes, you are eligible to withdraw up to 75% of your PF balance if you are unemployed for at least a month. However, withdrawing this amount means depleting your retirement savings, so it's crucial to evaluate the long-term implications.
Investment Options:
Mutual Funds: Mutual funds can offer potentially higher returns compared to traditional options like FDs. However, they also come with market risk, and past performance is not indicative of future results. Consider investing in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds across different asset classes and fund categories to mitigate risk.
FDs: FDs provide stable returns and capital protection but offer relatively lower returns compared to equity investments. They can be suitable for short to medium-term goals and for preserving capital.
Corporate Bonds: Corporate bonds can provide higher returns than FDs but carry credit risk associated with the issuer's ability to repay the debt. Investing in highly-rated corporate bonds or bond funds can offer a balance of risk and return.
Asset Allocation: Consider diversifying your investments across different asset classes to manage risk effectively. You may allocate a portion of your PF withdrawal to mutual funds for growth potential, while also keeping a portion in safer options like FDs or bonds for stability.
Financial Planning: Before making any investment decisions, I strongly recommend consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a qualified financial advisor. They can assess your financial situation, understand your goals and risk tolerance, and provide personalized recommendations aligned with your needs and objectives.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund to cover your living expenses for at least 6-12 months in case of unexpected financial setbacks.
Overall, prioritize prudence and long-term financial stability when deciding how to utilize your PF corpus. It's essential to strike a balance between risk and return based on your financial goals and circumstances.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
Hello sir, All our corpos mostly 90% is in debt(in the form of FDR's, SSSC, LIC etc) and rest 10% in MF and ULIP. I am 32 years and my mother is 61 years. I am working professional in tier 2 city and mother is retired from government job. I am seeking a financial advice to balance out the investments in debt and want some exposure in equity by investing through MF's. We have a total of 3 cr in debt and approx 40 lacs in equity market. Please suggest us the suitable mix so that our corpus would also grow and expenses would also meet out. Our total expenses per month would be around 35 K. Please also suggest the names of mutual funds to start investing?? Regards, Bharat Manik
Ans: Hello Bharat,

It's commendable that you're seeking to balance your investments and diversify into equity through mutual funds. Here's a tailored recommendation for you and your mother:

Balancing Debt and Equity:

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6-12 months of expenses kept in liquid instruments like savings accounts or short-term debt funds.
Debt Investments: Since you already have a substantial portion of your corpus in debt instruments, continue to maintain this allocation to ensure stability and regular income. Consider diversifying across different types of debt instruments for optimal risk management.
Equity Investments: Given your age and long-term investment horizon, it's prudent to gradually increase your exposure to equity through mutual funds. Start with allocating a portion of your investable surplus to equity funds.
Suitable Mutual Funds:

Diversified Equity Funds: Look for well-managed diversified equity funds with a proven track record of consistent performance. These funds offer exposure to a broad range of stocks across sectors and market capitalizations.
Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically manage the equity-debt allocation based on market conditions, making them suitable for investors seeking a balanced approach.
Large Cap Funds: Consider large-cap equity funds for stability and lower volatility. These funds invest in large, established companies with a track record of stable earnings.
Hybrid Funds: Opt for hybrid funds, which invest in both equity and debt instruments, offering a balanced approach to risk and return.
For personalized recommendations and to ensure your investment strategy aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance, I recommend consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a qualified financial advisor. They can provide customized guidance based on your unique circumstances and help you navigate the complexities of financial planning.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi Sir/Madam I have invested in various equity funds of different AMCs. Can I get any app or some kind of reliable advisor who can track my investments and suggest switching from non performing funds to performing funds. My goal is just wealth multiplication and I am aware of market fluctuations. During Covid, remained invested in all my equity mutual funds. Kindly guide.... Thanks and Regards
Ans: For personalized advice and guidance on your mutual fund investments, I recommend consulting a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who holds Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials. MFDs with CFP qualifications can provide comprehensive financial planning services tailored to your specific goals, risk tolerance, and investment preferences.

Here are some benefits of working with an MFD with CFP credentials:

Holistic Financial Planning: A CFP-certified MFD can help you create a comprehensive financial plan that aligns with your long-term goals, including wealth multiplication through mutual fund investments.
Personalized Advice: They can offer personalized investment advice based on your individual financial situation, risk profile, and investment objectives.
Portfolio Review and Optimization: An MFD with CFP credentials can regularly review your mutual fund portfolio, identify underperforming funds, and recommend suitable switches to potentially better-performing funds.
Risk Management: They can assess your risk tolerance and recommend an investment strategy that balances risk and return to help you achieve your financial goals.
Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing: CFP-certified MFDs can provide ongoing monitoring of your investments and rebalance your portfolio as needed to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.
By working with an MFD who is also a Certified Financial Planner, you can benefit from personalized, professional advice and guidance to make informed decisions about your mutual fund investments and overall financial plan.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
Hello Sir, I have the following Mutual Funds Investments, request you to let me know if these can be continued with or need to discontinue any of them, also please let me know new good performing funds to invest in. One time investment: (1) ICICI/ India Opportunities Fund - Growth - ?2,50,000, (2) ICICI/ Value Discovery Fund - Growth - ?2,50,000, (3) ICICI / Transporation & Logistics Fund - Growth - ?2,00,000. SIP Monthly: (4) Axis Flexi Cap Fund - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (5) Canara Robeco Emerging Equities - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (6) Aditya Birla SL Focused Equity Fund(G) - â‚15,000, (7) HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund(G) - ?5,000, (8) ICICI Pru Bluechip Fund(G) - ?5,000, (9) Axis Small Cap Fund - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (10) ICICI Prudential Technology Fund - Growth - ?5,000, (11) L&T Midcap Fund - HSBC Midcap Fund - ?5,000, (12) ICIPRU Multi-Asset Fund - Growth - ?5,000, (13) ICIPRU Value Discovery Fund - Growth - ?5,000. Thank You.
Ans: Based on your current Mutual Funds Investments, here are some recommendations:

Existing Investments:
ICICI India Opportunities Fund: Review the fund's performance and consider its alignment with your investment objectives. If it continues to meet your goals and performs well, you can consider keeping it.
ICICI Value Discovery Fund: Similar to the above, assess its performance and suitability. If it has delivered satisfactory results and fits your investment strategy, you may continue with it.
ICICI Transportation & Logistics Fund: Evaluate the fund's performance and prospects in the current market scenario. If you're confident in its future growth potential, you can maintain your investment.
New Fund Recommendations:
Consider diversifying your portfolio by adding funds from different categories such as large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap.
Look for funds with a consistent track record of performance, experienced fund managers, and a robust investment strategy aligned with your risk profile.
Conduct thorough research or seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor to identify suitable options based on your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Review and Adjustments:
Regularly review the performance of your existing investments and make adjustments as needed based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals.
Monitor the expense ratios, fund manager's track record, and the overall portfolio diversification to ensure optimal investment outcomes.
By carefully assessing your existing investments and making informed decisions about new fund allocations, you can build a well-balanced and diversified Mutual Funds portfolio that aligns with your long-term financial objectives.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
Dear Sir, I am 34 yrs old and planning to start my MF / other investment journey. I have been regularly investing in Fixed Deposits and have made a good corpus out of it. I am looking for an investment for a long-term goal. I can invest up to Rs. 35,000/- per month. The risk appetite for me would be medium.
Ans: Starting your investment journey with a long-term goal in mind is a prudent decision. Here's a recommended approach for you:

Begin by diversifying your investment portfolio across different asset classes to manage risk effectively. While Fixed Deposits offer stability, consider allocating a portion of your funds towards equity-based investments such as Mutual Funds for potential growth over the long term.
With a medium risk appetite, opt for a balanced mix of equity and debt mutual funds. Equity funds have the potential to deliver higher returns over time, while debt funds provide stability and income generation.
Start with Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in mutual funds, which allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly. Allocate a portion of your monthly investment budget towards SIPs in equity funds to capture market growth opportunities.
Additionally, consider diversifying into other investment avenues such as Public Provident Fund (PPF) or National Pension System (NPS) to further strengthen your retirement savings.
Regularly review your investment portfolio and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions.
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor to tailor an investment strategy that aligns with your specific financial objectives and risk profile. This personalized approach will help you navigate the complexities of the investment landscape and achieve your long-term financial goals effectively.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 11, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am investing Rs 20 k pm in HDFC flexicap fund growth and wish to continue for next 10 years for wealth creation for retirement. Is that ok ?
Ans: Investing Rs 20,000 per month in HDFC Flexi Cap Fund Growth for the next 10 years for wealth creation towards retirement is a prudent decision. Flexi cap funds offer flexibility in asset allocation across market capitalizations, allowing the fund manager to capitalize on opportunities across different market segments.

However, before proceeding, consider the following:

Review Performance: Monitor the performance of HDFC Flexi Cap Fund regularly to ensure it aligns with your long-term investment objectives. Assess factors such as historical returns, consistency, and fund manager expertise.
Diversification: While HDFC Flexi Cap Fund provides exposure to a diversified portfolio of stocks, consider diversifying your investments across different asset classes and fund houses to spread risk effectively.
Risk Management: Evaluate your risk tolerance and ensure that the investment aligns with your risk profile. While equity investments offer higher growth potential, they also come with higher volatility. Ensure that you are comfortable with the associated risks.
Regular Review: Periodically review your investment strategy and make adjustments as necessary based on changes in your financial situation, market conditions, and investment goals.
Overall, investing in HDFC Flexi Cap Fund Growth for retirement wealth creation is a sound strategy, provided it aligns with your risk tolerance and long-term financial goals. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Money
Hello Sir, my age is 28yrs and I am investing in Mutual funds for last 6 years now. As of now I have monthly SIP of 2k in PPFAS Flexi cap fund and 2.5k in Mirae Asset Large and Midcap fund. I want to invest more 12k-15k per month. I want to invest these for my retirement corpus and I am open to take risks in Smallcap, Midcap, Thematic funds, etc.. Kindly suggest good funds to invest in. Is it good to invest in schemes of Quant Fund house.
Ans: Since you're open to taking risks and have a long investment horizon for your retirement corpus, investing in small-cap, mid-cap, and thematic funds can potentially offer higher returns over the long term. Here are some suggestions for funds to consider:

Small-cap Funds: These funds invest in stocks of small-sized companies with high growth potential. Consider reputable funds with a consistent track record of performance in this category.
Mid-cap Funds: Mid-cap funds focus on stocks of medium-sized companies, offering a balance of growth potential and risk. Look for funds managed by experienced fund managers with a strong track record.
Thematic Funds: Thematic funds invest in sectors or themes expected to perform well over time. Choose themes aligned with your investment objectives and outlook for future growth.
Regarding Quant Fund House, while they may offer innovative investment strategies, it's essential to conduct thorough research on their fund offerings, track record, and investment approach. Ensure they align with your risk profile and long-term goals before investing.

Lastly, consider diversifying your investments across multiple funds and asset classes to spread risk and maximize potential returns. Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay aligned with your investment objectives. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice tailored to your specific financial situation and goals.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x